Things just blew apart!
Wow, tense chapter. Lily Potter. Who would have thought she would have made such a fierce enemy? (I guess her father's sense of righteousness and her mother's no-nonsense ferocity came together to create one hell of a daughter). That Arithmancy class, when she saunters in with that sickly sweet talk and demeanour, Lily with her ulterior motives, it's all so goosebumpy.
The atmosphere in this chapter is just dead-spot-on! It's phenomenal; you've got your reader (well, me) at the edge of my very seat, and there you are standing behind me with your hands ready to tip me over completely (which you did, very mercilessly - By Merlin, I do love you).
Oh, Lily was so merciless. What she did to Clara was completely unjust (although... her twisted sense of judgement is understandable. I can totally see how she (mis)read the situation and felt compelled to be the judge, jury and executioner (yes... I did just go into the land of the cliches)). However, I do know that Clara is the kind of gal who knows how to take care of herself, and I can't even begin to imagine what will happen from here on...
The interaction between Tom and Clara is (as always) so breathtaking. Which is weird, because there isn't any funny business going on (well.. maybe SOME funny business, but not the most obvious kind), and yet, they have something which really lures the reader in. I could honestly sit a whole day just reading their conversations; I imagine that's what peacefulness would be like.
Anyway, superb job - you really painted the most vivid of images. I had a hell of a ride reading this thus far. I can't wait to read the next chapter! I've literally bookmarked you on my Android Firefox browser! :)
With much love and expectation...
(Psst: 10/10) Report Review
And things start stirring~
I'm starting to run out of adjectives to describe how brilliant your chapters/writing skills/plotlines are. Everything's splendid, it really is. It's starting to get to the juicy bits (and I can't wait to see how everyone will react to the whole business).
Mmm... The competition, Lily Potter, seems like a daunting thing... Which is strange because you think, "Potter" and you automatically link it up with "hero" but the way this is going, with Clara as the protagonist, I have an odd feeling that Lily is going to mean nothing but disaster and trouble.
I'll keep saying this, but you have this magnificent way with descriptions - like, Jennifer and her at first harmless-seeming unlined eyes, but later very intimidating... It's just the little things that you pick up on - the kind of things that you would expect Clara, the near-sociopath to fix on. It really defines you from other writers.
As usual, I love Tom - the "moral crusader" that he is. I love how blunt he is. He doesn't blind himself, but really takes it head-on. He's a rather strangely stoic kind of character.
P.S. I love how witty your scene titles are getting. I can almost imagine this nasally Marvin-type voice (from Hitchhiker's Guide) when I read them. :)
10/10 Report Review
Aisling is such a atrange character. It's so difficult to read anything off of her or make a good judgement about her as a person, but I can say that she is really interesting and entertaining. Mind; I don't know how tolerant I could be of her in real life, but she really adds some vigour to the story. Now, the question of her and Grayson getting together and staying like that is a matter I would like to know more about :D
Really fabulous read so far - I love Clara and Tom's relationship; it's so unconventional! They know each other so well (maybe too well) and something is off-kilter between them, but it works. Somehow it works for them!
Not much of a plot so far, but it's a backbreakingly awesome introduction to what I presume will be a tumultuous and wonderful adventure! :)
Thanks a ton for the awesome read!
P.s. I love Mimi Lefevre's One: Love (I see what you did there with the tennis reference ;D). The thought of someone like Clara reading such a novel is hilarious, so...thanks for that! That was a good laugh I had. Report Review
Hello again! Gorgeous chapter!
Once again, your characters are absolutely fantastic. With the arrival of Willa and Tom, you once again astound me with just how much you seemed to have thought the characters through and how they would interact with one another. Tom, especially. You've breathed a good measure of life and magic into him - he feels so real.
I'm falling deeper in love with Clara with each step forward. Her thought processes are so intriguing and entertaining, but I get this strange sense that there's much more to her character (Well... isn't there always?). I love how she views her "cult"! :)
Anyways, thanks for the awesome read. 10/10 Report Review
Hello! I adore this! Clara is a strangely likeable character, which is weird because you would think her offhandishness and cold nature would make her slightly detestable. She's almost like a female Sherlock!
Props to you for the phenomenal characterising; you've really got a magical touch with them, from describing the scarily clingy and desperate Emma to the wonderfully girly Aisling...
I think using the Act.Scene format was also really ingenious. It makes Clara's cunning a lot more evident, almost as though she's puppeteering the people around her... Plus it makes everything seem wonderfully dramatic (in the least melodramatic sense of the word of course!)
Anyway, it's a really gorgeous chapter; it sets things up perfectly! I enjoyed it so much that I'm thinking of baking a tremendously delicious iced muffin and sending it over to you as a token of kudos and gratitude! :)
Oh! Almost forgot! This fic does something astounding in that it really makes itself feel original and novel (which is tremendously difficult to FIND never mind ACHIEVE). Your characters and storyline and descriptions and imagery and dialogue feel so fresh! I can really sense the amount of planning you must have done! ;)
Thank you! (10/10) Report Review
:) There are many things I like about this story. My favorite, I think, would be that your 'prologue', so to speak, is what most would have as a main plot. I just find it entertaining, and (hopefully) a sign of what's to come. I look forward to your next update. Report Review
I really like the storyso far, although it does have a mind of apathetic, detached feeling, though that may just be because Clara is so apathetic and detached.. Really, really apathetic and detached, actually. I love the character of Lily Potter, because in most fics she's portrayed as an innocent little princess or something. It's always refreshing to have a new take on a character, and. Old, hard witches are always fun. I can't wait for Clara to start fighting for something, or to even actually care about something, even a little bit. I hope that does happen, because it would be hard to build a plot off of a character who does nothing ;)I also love Tom, just. Ecause he's such a good sport. "sure you can sleep in my dorm" " sure ill help you with your match making"he's wonderful.
Anyways, I really like the story so far!
~Gill Report Review
THE PLOT CONTINUES! Lily Potter better hide because I am on Clara's side and I always win! (that's pure lies, I just want to intimidate her.)
Okay, just met Lily and can conclude that I don't like her. I like her even less that Aisling, and that surely tells you how little I like her. I could compare her to many disgusting things, but I'd like to think that Clara will do that with much more skill and literacy than I can in a review.
Okay, I like Aisling now. I can totally relate to her anger (although I wish they'd had pudding, it really is the best part of the meal).
"While Clara tried to discreetly fish it out from her bra..." it suddenly occured to me that it sounded as though either Clara had a very low-cut top on, or was in her underwear. Hogwarts really have let their standards slip... ;)
Ooooh Lily is being a bitch (as usual) and I dislike it. But Clara is being all witty and an utter cool cat. This made me laugh: "Then my father dumped me at an orphanage in Birmingham because he couldn't take care of me, but he always promised that he'd come back for me, and I waited and I waited for him to come, but he didn't, and eventually I gave up hope that anyone would ever love me." Birmingham is probably one of the worst places in England. Trust me. I know. Poor Clara (but woo Clara's imagination!)
Hugo Weasley is the bomb! I actually adore him. I knew he'd love it. And that Slytherin lad sounds just like Julia with the expression "symbol of everything wrong with British wizarding society in this day and age", honestly, it's like you've been sitting in on our common room chats.
"I want you to attack Lily. I want you to actually attack her, and ruin her like you're a cutthroat stone-cold Diagon Alley businesswoman hexing away the competition." He grinned at her blank stare. "That's right, Clara. You're going to have to fight for something." This boy has a plan, and a plan that I like the sound of - mainly because I hate Lily (and because it sounds hilarious) JUST LOVE HER TOM! (and help her take down Lily)!
This is brillopads, Gubby! I can't wait for you to update because I am enjoying this so much! Muchos love! Report Review
Oooh, a vacuum eh? I've seen this word mentioned in a previous chapter so naturally my mind is whizzing away with possibilities. I will keep these to myself because, knowing me, they are all wrong.
"Not that there was much to gather; so pronouncedly lazy was she that she hadn't even bothered bringing anything to class this morning." she is definitely my kind of gal. Why can't she be real and be my friend?
And ew, she has such a wonderful outlook on their relationship, doesn't she? "it was at least better than watching Aisling and Grayson quietly trying to strangle each other with their tongues." What a slow and torturous way of dying.
Clara is defo a mermaid as well, just saying. And homg crazy girl (she reminds me of me. just so you know, I like to find cameos of me in fics so that the emotional attachment I have doesn't seem so weird and cr33py.) "But we love you too much to let you go!" Cr33p3r al3rt!
OOOH AISLING IS BEING A BITCH. I really dislike her now. No-one can be mean to Clara without feeling my wrath! ;) (metaphorically speaking of course, as feeling my wrath through a computer screen would be hard as well as dangerous to all parties involved)
I also love Clara more because of her love for chocolate. That girl knows what is good for her and obviously knows what to prioritise: books and chocolate. As I said before, we should be friends.
"Tom's bed. (That's right.)" I swear you put that in there for people like me to squee over and to come up with scenarios as to what could be happening. And dammit it's happening!
WOT LILY. STOP IT NOW. THIS IS CLARA'S TERRITORY. AJAKFNEONOFEIBO. emotionally involved. dammit, i shouldn't allow myself to read such great fics. And Tom! Stop being a weird gentleman and just love Clara again. Lurve her I say! ;)
NEXT CHAPTER! HMS TOM/CLARA (still working on that name) HAS OFFICIALLY SET SAIL! Report Review
OOOH, so I read your author's note before the chapter, and fifty thousand words! I am looking forward to this journey immensely. I will forever be on this ship and I will not regret a single thing I type here.
I liked the little witty repartee between Aisling and Clara, and of course, Clara is right. There is still something about Aisling that I don't quite trust. Maybe it will become apparent in later chapters, I'm not sure.
"My reputation is real." It was just built upon a precarious house of lies." Fave line of the chapter so far. I can kind of imagine it being said in a JD-from-Scrubs kind of internal monologue way.
"Specifically, looked forward to by the suddenly besotted Elliot Flynn." Dawh they're so cute :3 woo go Clara and Tom! But Aisling is still getting on my nerves. Even though the following quote made me laugh, I still dislike her (I'm sorry): "Infected with love!" Aisling sighed dreamily. "The best kind of infection someone can have! Right, baby?" However, as I said before, if you are doing this on purpose to make me feel these things towards her, then you truly are a literary god.
I love the little bit with Tom and Clara. Best friends (but should be more) conversation is the best. And you write it so well and I am extraordinarily jealous at your ability to do this with ease.
"Thank you, by the way." Aisling threw her arm around Clara's shoulders, and this time did manage to upend the tea mug." How dare she! It's official, I don't like her. Okay that's a lie, but I'm still not keen. Especially if she can do this to a cup of good tea without even a 'sorry'.
"she was looking forward to watching that same little Willa become a dirty little schoolgirl with the influence of the boyfriend she was sure was hiding some wickedly inappropriate behavioural patterns." ew, Aisling's sick.
I can finish this one for you: "What would you say," she began, leaning against his bedpost but not getting on his bed, "if I got out of the relationship divination business for good?" MARRY ME. LOVE ME. HAVE MY CHILDREN AND WE'LL BE HAPPY FOREVER. am i rite? ;)
YEAH! THIS TOM! "The veneer of undiluted lies and apathy had thinned to the point where Tom, frighteningly, almost began to see the girl he once liked." I ship them too much for it only to be chapter three.
Woo! This is defo being favourited. I just want Tom and Clara to get back together! I really love this, just in case you missed that in these mammoth reviews. Report Review
Onto the second act! Honestly, it's like you read my mind and saw my love for Shakespeare and wrote this for me. I feel so special! ;)
Oh Willa! She's so cute. "Willa had never so much as poked a caterpillar with a stick in all her life. She was a quintessentially friendly Hufflepuff." I don't think I could ever be in Hufflepuff if this was the way in which they decided. I was far too inquisitive as a child...
"It'd be nice, to have someone... to talk to, and to be with, and-" She broke off, and Clara grinned her amusement. Ah, the phrases that could complete that sentence. It was almost too adorable for words." Naughty Clara, ruining an innocent Hufflepuff girl's innocence. Although I am starting to wonder why she isn't warming to her. Maybe I should hang back on the love for a bit? Or maybe I should try not to get too emotionally-attached to characters before I even find out their last names :(
Okay, cooling off from Aisling again: "Aisling made her sound like a bitch with her head up in the clouds/caught up in Sight" I wonder what it is with that girl. Is she jealous? Or just upset that she actually took the muffin top? I know I would be...
Ooooh, things are getting all plot-twisty with Willa's crush on Aisling's boyfriend. I like this. I like this very much. And I like Willa, she seems sweet and harmless (and nicer than her cousin at any rate).
This sounds like a brilliant film by Christopher Nolan, I'm just saying: "The ultimate conman being tricked into an impossible job by her best friend." Maybe we should tell him...and you'd get the credit obviously. I'd just be the middle man who fawns over his awesome powers and gets to ogle at JGL and Christian Bale...
Oh poor Tom and Clara (I know what ship I'm on for now in this story). I will come up with a suitable name for it in time, don't you worry.
But no, they seem all complicated L( but at least they're friends for now, right? JUST FOR NOW. ;)
As I have said before, I like this. I like this very much. ALL ABOARD! Report Review
Hey Gubby! It's Hannah! AWOOO~ okay, this was recommended and I have extremely high hopes for this fic. I already like it because it is split up into acts, and that just panders to my love for Shakespeare. This feels like it's going to be a good fic :)
"Hugo Weasley was as attracted to Emma Holland as Headmistress Sinistra was to Professor Longbottom." Things are already happening in my head that you have no control over right now. A spin-off will surely ensue ;)
Resident Relationship Seer, eh? This sounds interesting...I like this already. And Teddy's gone? No! ;) come to think of it, I haven't read a Teddy fic yet. Well that's going on my list...
Aisling seems...well I don't know. I guess I'll make a judgement on her later. But she feels like an Anjali kind of character, if you know what I mean. I just don't know if I like her yet. Or maybe that's what you want me to think, and therefore you are brilliant.
"If you're going to bribe me with half a muffin, at least bribe me with the half that has sugar on it."/"But it's my muffin top. I licked it already." Okay, it's official (for now), I like them. Bargaining for love using food makes these girls my kindred spirits ;) it's like you understand me!
I like this. I like this very much. It's witty and I like the whole 'Inner-Eye-doesn't-really-exist-therefore-some-shit-wil-go-down' thing. And I really like the part about the food. Dammit, now I'll go and have to find a muffin of my own! ;)
ONWARDS! Report Review
I love this. It's really original.
I have to say Hugo's reaction made me laugh.
Clara and Tom's relation ship is really intriguing. It's so nice to have a different relationship from normal. I really want to know what happened with them.
I can't wait to see what's going to happen next, please update as soon as you can. Report Review
Oh my gosh! I did not expect her to be caught so soon!! How did Lily find out?? This was a great chapter. Thank you so much! and I just want to say that I LOVE Tom! I can't wait for the next update :) Report Review
love it! Hope to see more Clara/Tom!Author's Response: You will not be disappointed, I promise you that ;) Thanks for stopping by! Report Review
I'm not sure there's anything I can say that you don't already know - or at least /should/ know. You have:
Interesting, believable characters
Great, witty dialogue
Little, snarky lines I love (Firenze's class statistics)
Some mystery as to where this is going (I was not expecting Lily!)
And just, overally (which is now a word. Or should be), fantastic writing!Author's Response: Oh lawdy, this review. -blush- I am super duper flattered and honored and happy to hear all of this, since they are all very good things and things I strive to achieve and am ecstatic to reach! So overally (I agree, this should be a word), thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy! Report Review
So unique and original! Love it!!Author's Response: Eee, I'm delighted to hear that. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Oh my goodness, I am love your story. This is really original and super interesting, and you are a fantastic writer. I really like Tom. Please update soon! I can't wait =] 10/10Author's Response: Yay, thank you so much! Having a story be super original /and/ super interesting is pretty much a pipe dream for me, but thank you so much. And you're not alone with liking Tom, evidently! Thank you again for the review, and I hope you continue to enjoy! Report Review
Your story is really good! I think it gets more and more interesting as the story continues. :) At first I didn't like Clara or Tom that much, but they do get more likeable. :D Willa is sweet. :)
Looking forward to the next chapter! :)
krapfmAuthor's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for reviewing. I like to think that a good story develops to become an even better story with time/character development, so I'm glad that's happening! Clara and Tom, as I mentioned in another response, are far from likable people, but I'm glad they and the others are growing on you. Again, thanks for stopping by and I hope you continue to enjoy! Report Review
So I'm being really lazy at the moment so I'm just going to leave a quick lil review :) I really like Tom, he seems really likeable (he must be since I like him), and his weirdy friendy relationshipy thing with Clara. Because that sentence made total sense. I can't wait for more because I have absolutely no idea where this is headed. Bring on more of the plot! (that I probably didn't notice enough of throughout the chapter because I'm, unfortunately, not one for subtleties.) :DAuthor's Response: Quick little reviews are often the greatest, no shame needed! Also laziness might as well be my middle name. I'm glad that you like Tom, although there's a difference between liking a character and him being actually likable, I think; and from that statement, you might infer that Tom is not exactly a likable character. Which may or may not be true. Who knows? Ahem. (Your sentence made way more sense than my bunch of sentences). And meh, I tend to get caught up in my subtleties and ideas, which means that anyone who is not me tends to get a teensy bit lost, which is not something I want for you guys, but le sigh, it is what it is. Thank you for the review, and I'm so glad you're enjoying it :) Report Review
Ha, this is absolutely brilliant. It's witty, extremely unique and a marvellous take on the many 'seer'-fics, in which the protagonist is a genuine Seer.
This fic originally caught my attention due to it's captivating title; I've been studying the various forms of Game Theory in Bio this year, hence my interest. I'm glad I was initially interested by the title, this fic is fantastic.
There is this hilarious sense of humour throughout the whole chapter, and I was smiling the whole time; especially at the interactions between Clara and Aisling; Goodness me is that girl persistent.
I especially loved the descriptions you interwove throughout the story, from Emma foaming at the mouth to the 'saliva-infested' treat. Absolutely brilliant :)
*Off to read next chapter (again) *Author's Response: What a lovely review! I won't lie, I enjoy picking apart trends and seeing what's beneath them and/or twisting them practically beyond recognition. Social satire is one of my favorite things, as I think will become very, very clear as we go along. It's funny that you mention the title, though, because I was thinking more of game theory in the political science sphere and I know literally nothing about it in biology (and only slightly more in political science, I should say), but I'm glad it caught your interest! Once again proof of my love of analyzing social politics and such in fic~
Aww, I'm glad the humor worked out! I was worried it would get drowned out by, er, paragraphs of exposition and telling-instead-of-showing. Because I kind of feel like the humor is a veneer for the absurdity, and vice versa. Again, things that become more obvious the further into the story we go.
Thanks so much for a lovely review! Hope you continue to enjoy ^_^ Report Review
This story is so original! I love it :)Author's Response: Aww, yay! Glad you liked it and I hope you continue to enjoy. Report Review
Well I'm pretty sure I'll be sticking around ;P This is awesome. I love that even though the seer status is fake, she is actually drawing from truth and not wildly making up potentially true things..if that makes sense :o I can't wait to see how it develops and I must admit that I find Aisling a little bit annoying so far :oAuthor's Response: Hurray, thank you! I wouldn't say that Clara draws on truth exactly when she does whatever it is she does (which we will see more of next chapter), but you're right, she's doing anything but making wild guesses. I don't blame you for that impression of Aisling, but she is supposed to be a little grating. Thanks so much for reviewing and I hope you continue to enjoy! (: Report Review
LOVE IT ♥
and it's majorly pre-written! bonus, right there.
I'm in love with the premise and the characters and you're writing and genuinely just everything.
You're distinct narrative stance and style, give you an immediate feel for the characters. I really like Clara!
update soon! ♥Author's Response: Aww thank you! Major prewriting is the only way I can update anymore and even pretend to be able to guarantee eventual completion, sadface. I didn't even intend to write this, actually. It was all a con! I was conned into it! And... now it's going frightfully swimmingly and do not know what to feel about it. So glad you liked it, and I'll do my best to update soon! So busy this month, but thank you again and I hope you continue to enjoy! Report Review
I really like the idea you have. I also really like the writing. One line that struck me was this: "she took advantage of the aura it afforded the Supposed Seer as thoroughly as any of those big film studio executives took advantage of the peons underneath them to fetch coffee and read horrid scripts."
I really get a picture of what Aisling is like just from that one sentence. This was such good writing. For real. I liked it.Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! So glad you liked it, and that line too. I did a lot of stylistic experimentation with this before finally settling on the third person act/scene structure, and I'm really liking that choice. Thanks for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy! Report Review
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