Reading Reviews for The story of us
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by anonymous Some kind of twisted stupid karma.

20th October 2014:
Please update soon! So excited to see what happens next!

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Review #2, by JKsarmy Some kind of twisted stupid karma.

12th August 2014:
Oh my god he found out! He's such an idiot! I hate him and I love him at the same time. I'm feeling conflicted... One thing I'm sure of is how much I love this story though, keep up the good work!:) x

Author's Response: Lol, yeah he finally found out. Probably not in the way he would have liked to. :P I'm glad you love and hate him simultaneously, its the effect I'm going for and its way harder then I thought it would be. :) So glad you're enjoying the story, thank you for your review!

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Review #3, by theluckynumberseven Some kind of twisted stupid karma.

15th June 2014:
Aw, I can't believe James didn't even remember her name! The bad (or good) thing about him is that he seems to come by being self absorbed, honestly. He seems to genuinely not get what a butt head he can be, even when he's being nice. I hope he and Grace make it work, because there is definitley something there! And I absolutley loved the Lily/Grace/Wen friendship dynamic in the end scene. Basically I love the story and hope you keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Thank you also for commenting on the Lily/Grace/Wen dynamic, I worry that I don't get enough of them into the story because it is focused around Grace/James. :)

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Review #4, by newgenerationlover Some kind of twisted stupid karma.

9th June 2014:
Aw, gosh! I started tearing up when James didn't even know her name. Like really, how self absorbed is he?? I feel so bad for Grace. All I want is for her to be happy... and possibly end up with James, but mainly for her just to be happy ;) I really like Grace as a character. She is very believable and relatable. She is no where near perfect, just like us readers, and she is the perfect mix between crazy and calm and maybe why I like her so much is because I see a little of myself in her. All in all, great chapter. I can't wait for the next one :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I really struggled to write this chapter, I just wasn't feeling happy with it, hence it took so long to get it up, so I'm really glad you like it.
Its a really difficult balance to strike with James because he is genuinely selfabsorbed and a bit of an idiot, but not becuase he means to be mean as such. It means he has room to grow!
I'm also glad that you feel Grace isn't perfect. Because she's not, I guess thats what I wanted her to reflect, she often goes off on random tangents in her head, but in reality shes just a really normal teenager, and so is Lily. Some people have expressed that they feel she is a bit annoying and self-absorbed too, but again, shes a flawed teenager and in many ways looking back on my own teenage years I think we were all a bit absorbed, I think that is part of the teenage experience, that we learn to look beyond ourselves. :)
Thank you for your review!


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Review #5, by Anna Eddy What teenagers do in Broom Closets.

29th May 2014:
Can not wait for the next instalment! Please update soon x

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I am working on it. :)

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Review #6, by JKsarmy What teenagers do in Broom Closets.

28th May 2014:
Bloody hell! This is destiny I swear, I was on the search for a brilliant story and you've delivered! I am quite honestly in love with the storyline you have going. It's so unique and is always keeping me on my toes! I can't wait for the moment James finds out they are twins, ahh so exciting! Grace is so amazing and I absolutely love the way you have portrayed her, I'm totally all for grace and James! The ship name Games is adorable haa:) I can't wait for the next chapter x

Author's Response: aw, thank you so much, I'm so glad you like it, especially since I feel I struggle with writing storylines that occur in Hogwarts during school. The moment when James discovers is coming up soon! Hopefully I should have the next chapter out soon, i'm struggling with it a bit because I kind of lastminute decided to modify a few things and slow down the pace of the story a little (I have an awful weakness in my writing where I start with a good pace and then I finish the story too quickly, and I'm trying to break the habit). I'm so glad you love Grace, because its told from her point of view I sometimes worry that she's a bit whiny or doesn't stay in character, but I'm glad you enjoy her. :)

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Review #7, by Gryffy Girl917 What teenagers do in Broom Closets.

26th May 2014:
I stumbled across this story and have fallen in love with it. I love how you have everyone seeing Lily & James (II) as being Lily & James (I) reincarnated, but the main character, and the one that I hope ends up with James, isn't the hot-tempered red head. I love how the only reason Grace is afraid of her feelings for James is because it's not what everyone, including James, wants or expects. I'm really worried about what will happen to her if James and her sister get together. Hopefully, James will realize she's the better person (her sister annoys me, I find her a bit selfish). Looking forward to the next chapter and the repercussions of her realizing her feelings. At least she appears to have Albus on her side, I think he's rooting her Grace & James.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story and rooting for Grace&James. :) I hope you continue to enjoy it, it hopefully shouldn't be too long before the next chapter comes.

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Review #8, by Kitty Quidditch and Unicorns

22nd January 2014:
I loved this chapter! I like how James is being nice to Grace with the whole paper unicorn thing (and her secret, yet adorable kingdom thing) but I'm anxious for the drama to really begin! I like the pace of the story though so it's hard to choose whether the drama should begin (with nobody wanting her to be james new love crush like you mentioned on the summary) or squeal at the cuteness (the quidditch match neutrality problem)! Anyway this is probably not making any sense because I stayed up late reading this because it's really funny and well written :) can't wait to see james falling in love with Grace though!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. :) I think thats one of the main problems with this story is figuring out how to pace it, not wanting things to happen too quickly or unnaturally. :D

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Review #9, by Nike Quidditch and Unicorns

18th January 2014:
This story is thoroughly enjoyable, easy to read and I am enjoying reading it a lot :) *thumbs up*

I think Grace often comes across as seeming more confident to people than she really feels inside (I presume most people do :p) - but I am really hoping that, throughout the story she does gain some more confidence in herself.

I like your portrayal of James' character, that he is trying to live up to how other people think he should be and what other people think he should like. There are so many James II stories where he has this really cliched 'JamesI-reincarnated' character, so I like that you're saying that it's really just this image he feels like he has to live up to.
I'm looking forward to seeing what he's really like when he's not faking. I feel like we get to see it occasionally when he's with Grace. I like it ;).

I also REALLY like how you've taken this Rivers-family and incorporated them into a whole bunch of your other fics. I like the idea of getting to know each of the siblings better.

I know this may not fit so well into this particular fic, but I'm also getting quite curious about Lily's character. Here the main glimpses we get of her personality is her distaste for James, that she is fond of her twin and that she is smart, but I don't feel like I actually know her as well as I know some of the other characters. I don't know, maybe that's just me :p

All in all, thoroughly enjoying the story. I'm looking forward to seeing how this progresses :)

Nike

Author's Response: Thank you, when I started writing the River's children, I never actually expected to reuse them, but it makes it possible to go into so much more character development to reuse the characters in several different stories, even if the focus is different in them.

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Review #10, by newgenerationlover Quidditch and Unicorns

9th January 2014:
Love this story, can't wait to keep reading!

Author's Response: thank you so much. :)
Love your username by the way!


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Review #11, by hiddenhorcrux Quidditch and Unicorns

9th January 2014:
Yay another update! Aww I love reading about sweet and romantic James. I have to say though, Albus is quickly becoming my favourite character.
Please update soon! I wish your chapters were longer so I could really submerge myself into your Hogwarts :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I am working on making my chapters longer, as its kind of a weakness of mine. If you read some of my newer fic's, 'Don't give me Roses' and one currently waiting to be validated 'I specialise in Murders' you'll hopefully notice I'm making an effort to write much longer chapters.
Albus has also quickly become my favourite extra character to write. He will eventually have a fic of his own, I'm gradually trying to work through all the next-gen characters, all of them inhabiting the same world, so the Rivers siblings will be repeated as extra characters in my other stories. :)


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Review #12, by utjksyttyrj5 Quidditch and Unicorns

8th January 2014:
Update NOW! I love this story! Very original, smart and cute!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, that means the world to me that you think that because I must admit I am particularly selfcritical of this story. Thank you for caring enough to leave a review! :)

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Review #13, by Albus Potter's Woman Getting to You

14th December 2013:
Hello :)

I don't think I've ever reviewed for this before but I have read this ever since you picked it up again. Most of the times I've been on my phone though and reviewing is always so annoying on that so I rarely review anyone. That being said lets begin :)

I like the idea of this story. James, a love struck idiot who's trying to follow in his namesake's footsteps and the twin sister of the unfortunate girl who he's trying to live up to his image with. Who eventually falls in love with him. A brilliant idea and I think you are expressing it well.

However I do think your chapter lengths are too short. They're roughly ranging in the 1000-2000 words and as a fan of longer chapters...well, it's not very appealing. I don't think that with shorter chapters, you will be able to properly develop this story. It needs a lot more words and you need to get the plot going a bit.

Good luck writing

-Albus Potter's Woman

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your constructive feedback, it was really useful.
I have recently become extremely aware of my weakness of writing too short chapters. If you read some of my other stories you'll be able to tell its an awful weakness that I suffer from in general. Its something I'm currently trying to improve. I think part of my problem is being able to get a proper timeflow in my writing, I struggle to transition between scenes without chopping them up into chapters. If you have any helpful advice on overcoming this, please share.
Again, thank you so much for helping me to understand both my strengths and weaknesses as a writer so I know what to improve. :)


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Review #14, by G Getting to You

10th December 2013:
This is such a great read.. You're an excellent writer. Don't give up please, I love the humour that you've brought into this story, the list is hilarious.. update soon x

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm so glad that someone is enjoying it! :)

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Review #15, by TheWizardingPorcupine Annoying, Sulking etc.

10th November 2013:
You're continuing the story! Can I get a woot woot (ya that was pretty cheesy)!
You have such a great plot: so original.. . I haven't seen anyone else do this with a next generation story!
Great fic, please keep writing!

Author's Response: oh I'm glad that you thinkits original, I do try to be original and kind of expand the repitoire offanfiction stories out there. I'm actually planning to do a next generation story for each of the GrangerWeasleyPotter children, in the same universe, so Grace and her siblings will continue to feature in other stories, and hopefully you'll enjoy them too as they progress. :)

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Review #16, by Rose Goblin Rebellions and Stamps

24th October 2013:
Please continue! I love your story, and can't wait to see Grace and Potter fall in love. I'm already in love with all the characters. Please update soon! :)

Author's Response: thank you so much, I'm glad you like it! At the moment I'm quickly getting chapters validated for one of the other stories, 'King of Hearts', but it only has two more chapters and than this story will be updating regularly again :)

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Review #17, by Delusionist Boys and Girls

8th September 2013:
This is such a good idea for a plot! Please continue and update soon, this story has so much potential!

I wonder whether James realy likes Lily or just wants to go out with her, because everybody expects him to. He might be fooled to think what everybody else wants is what he wants as well.

Still, Grace has yet to fall in love with James Potter. I'm curious how you are going to accomplish that. Will they be partnered for potion lessons? Or will Grace tutor James? Is Lily going to grow so frustrated that she sets up Grace to throw herself at James, so she doesn't have to see him anymore? Wow, there are so many possibilities! I wonder what you'll come up with.

I guess I have to wait for your update :D

Author's Response: thank you for your interest and comments, it means a lot to me! I'm looking forward to your comments as the story develops. :)

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Review #18, by AceFelton72 Boys and Girls

28th November 2011:
A great and original story. You said she liked Potter, and by Potter, i really hope it will be Albus Potter, and not James.

Author's Response: hmmm... hmmm... I must admit, at the moment as I'm writing it, the story is taking a sort of different turn from my original plans. In my original plot, Albus wasn't really in it at all, but he is sort of currently demanding attention, so at the moment, I don't even know. After putting up chapter three I'm going to have to quickly re-work minor parts of the plot...
Thanks for your comments though :)


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Review #19, by carellio Boys and Girls

16th November 2011:
I really really like this, the whole story seems really original and I can't wait for more!
please update soon:)

Author's Response: Thank you :) I appreciate you taking the time to review.

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Review #20, by the midnight avenger I remember.

15th November 2011:
that was so good! i love the whole re-incarnation of lily and james thing, it's really original!

Author's Response: Thank you :)
Their not actually re-incarnated (though I feel the sudden urge to actually write a Lily/James incarnation story - hmmm) But the idea is that everyone treats them as if they are, and everyone assumes their life will play out like Lily/James I (minus the dying part.)


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Review #21, by NextGenna14 Boys and Girls

15th November 2011:
I really like this story! :)

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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