Reading Reviews for The story of us
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Kitty Quidditch and Unicorns

22nd January 2014:
I loved this chapter! I like how James is being nice to Grace with the whole paper unicorn thing (and her secret, yet adorable kingdom thing) but I'm anxious for the drama to really begin! I like the pace of the story though so it's hard to choose whether the drama should begin (with nobody wanting her to be james new love crush like you mentioned on the summary) or squeal at the cuteness (the quidditch match neutrality problem)! Anyway this is probably not making any sense because I stayed up late reading this because it's really funny and well written :) can't wait to see james falling in love with Grace though!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. :) I think thats one of the main problems with this story is figuring out how to pace it, not wanting things to happen too quickly or unnaturally. :D

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Review #2, by Nike Quidditch and Unicorns

18th January 2014:
This story is thoroughly enjoyable, easy to read and I am enjoying reading it a lot :) *thumbs up*

I think Grace often comes across as seeming more confident to people than she really feels inside (I presume most people do :p) - but I am really hoping that, throughout the story she does gain some more confidence in herself.

I like your portrayal of James' character, that he is trying to live up to how other people think he should be and what other people think he should like. There are so many James II stories where he has this really cliched 'JamesI-reincarnated' character, so I like that you're saying that it's really just this image he feels like he has to live up to.
I'm looking forward to seeing what he's really like when he's not faking. I feel like we get to see it occasionally when he's with Grace. I like it ;).

I also REALLY like how you've taken this Rivers-family and incorporated them into a whole bunch of your other fics. I like the idea of getting to know each of the siblings better.

I know this may not fit so well into this particular fic, but I'm also getting quite curious about Lily's character. Here the main glimpses we get of her personality is her distaste for James, that she is fond of her twin and that she is smart, but I don't feel like I actually know her as well as I know some of the other characters. I don't know, maybe that's just me :p

All in all, thoroughly enjoying the story. I'm looking forward to seeing how this progresses :)


Author's Response: Thank you, when I started writing the River's children, I never actually expected to reuse them, but it makes it possible to go into so much more character development to reuse the characters in several different stories, even if the focus is different in them.

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Review #3, by newgenerationlover Quidditch and Unicorns

9th January 2014:
Love this story, can't wait to keep reading!

Author's Response: thank you so much. :)
Love your username by the way!

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Review #4, by hiddenhorcrux Quidditch and Unicorns

9th January 2014:
Yay another update! Aww I love reading about sweet and romantic James. I have to say though, Albus is quickly becoming my favourite character.
Please update soon! I wish your chapters were longer so I could really submerge myself into your Hogwarts :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I am working on making my chapters longer, as its kind of a weakness of mine. If you read some of my newer fic's, 'Don't give me Roses' and one currently waiting to be validated 'I specialise in Murders' you'll hopefully notice I'm making an effort to write much longer chapters.
Albus has also quickly become my favourite extra character to write. He will eventually have a fic of his own, I'm gradually trying to work through all the next-gen characters, all of them inhabiting the same world, so the Rivers siblings will be repeated as extra characters in my other stories. :)

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Review #5, by utjksyttyrj5 Quidditch and Unicorns

8th January 2014:
Update NOW! I love this story! Very original, smart and cute!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, that means the world to me that you think that because I must admit I am particularly selfcritical of this story. Thank you for caring enough to leave a review! :)

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Review #6, by Albus Potter's Woman Getting to You

14th December 2013:
Hello :)

I don't think I've ever reviewed for this before but I have read this ever since you picked it up again. Most of the times I've been on my phone though and reviewing is always so annoying on that so I rarely review anyone. That being said lets begin :)

I like the idea of this story. James, a love struck idiot who's trying to follow in his namesake's footsteps and the twin sister of the unfortunate girl who he's trying to live up to his image with. Who eventually falls in love with him. A brilliant idea and I think you are expressing it well.

However I do think your chapter lengths are too short. They're roughly ranging in the 1000-2000 words and as a fan of longer chapters...well, it's not very appealing. I don't think that with shorter chapters, you will be able to properly develop this story. It needs a lot more words and you need to get the plot going a bit.

Good luck writing

-Albus Potter's Woman

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your constructive feedback, it was really useful.
I have recently become extremely aware of my weakness of writing too short chapters. If you read some of my other stories you'll be able to tell its an awful weakness that I suffer from in general. Its something I'm currently trying to improve. I think part of my problem is being able to get a proper timeflow in my writing, I struggle to transition between scenes without chopping them up into chapters. If you have any helpful advice on overcoming this, please share.
Again, thank you so much for helping me to understand both my strengths and weaknesses as a writer so I know what to improve. :)

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Review #7, by G Getting to You

10th December 2013:
This is such a great read.. You're an excellent writer. Don't give up please, I love the humour that you've brought into this story, the list is hilarious.. update soon x

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm so glad that someone is enjoying it! :)

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Review #8, by TheWizardingPorcupine Annoying, Sulking etc.

10th November 2013:
You're continuing the story! Can I get a woot woot (ya that was pretty cheesy)!
You have such a great plot: so original.. . I haven't seen anyone else do this with a next generation story!
Great fic, please keep writing!

Author's Response: oh I'm glad that you thinkits original, I do try to be original and kind of expand the repitoire offanfiction stories out there. I'm actually planning to do a next generation story for each of the GrangerWeasleyPotter children, in the same universe, so Grace and her siblings will continue to feature in other stories, and hopefully you'll enjoy them too as they progress. :)

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Review #9, by Rose Goblin Rebellions and Stamps

24th October 2013:
Please continue! I love your story, and can't wait to see Grace and Potter fall in love. I'm already in love with all the characters. Please update soon! :)

Author's Response: thank you so much, I'm glad you like it! At the moment I'm quickly getting chapters validated for one of the other stories, 'King of Hearts', but it only has two more chapters and than this story will be updating regularly again :)

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Review #10, by Delusionist Boys and Girls

8th September 2013:
This is such a good idea for a plot! Please continue and update soon, this story has so much potential!

I wonder whether James realy likes Lily or just wants to go out with her, because everybody expects him to. He might be fooled to think what everybody else wants is what he wants as well.

Still, Grace has yet to fall in love with James Potter. I'm curious how you are going to accomplish that. Will they be partnered for potion lessons? Or will Grace tutor James? Is Lily going to grow so frustrated that she sets up Grace to throw herself at James, so she doesn't have to see him anymore? Wow, there are so many possibilities! I wonder what you'll come up with.

I guess I have to wait for your update :D

Author's Response: thank you for your interest and comments, it means a lot to me! I'm looking forward to your comments as the story develops. :)

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Review #11, by AceFelton72 Boys and Girls

28th November 2011:
A great and original story. You said she liked Potter, and by Potter, i really hope it will be Albus Potter, and not James.

Author's Response: hmmm... hmmm... I must admit, at the moment as I'm writing it, the story is taking a sort of different turn from my original plans. In my original plot, Albus wasn't really in it at all, but he is sort of currently demanding attention, so at the moment, I don't even know. After putting up chapter three I'm going to have to quickly re-work minor parts of the plot...
Thanks for your comments though :)

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Review #12, by carellio Boys and Girls

16th November 2011:
I really really like this, the whole story seems really original and I can't wait for more!
please update soon:)

Author's Response: Thank you :) I appreciate you taking the time to review.

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Review #13, by the midnight avenger I remember.

15th November 2011:
that was so good! i love the whole re-incarnation of lily and james thing, it's really original!

Author's Response: Thank you :)
Their not actually re-incarnated (though I feel the sudden urge to actually write a Lily/James incarnation story - hmmm) But the idea is that everyone treats them as if they are, and everyone assumes their life will play out like Lily/James I (minus the dying part.)

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Review #14, by NextGenna14 Boys and Girls

15th November 2011:
I really like this story! :)

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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