Oh I liked this piece a lot! I thought it was very refreshing to read something through Mad Eye's point of view and one that you had to guess who it was we were even reading about. I loved how you incorporated one of the small snippets of him that we know about through the hp world and then created this whole oneshot around it! I thought it was rather sad and bittersweet at the ending when he is going to clean out his office and wouldn't be coming back to it.. though we do know that in the future he will be but its not like he knows that at this time. I really enjoyed this oneshot and think that you did a great job with it!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
That was awesome. Very well-written. I was so glad you ended it that way!Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D Report Review
Wow, you know why is it that almost every review I type to you I say wow in? Why is it that I'm always surprised whenever one of your stories is as incredibly awesome as it is. I just don't believe you can top your last story and then BAM you do and it's awesome.
Long review short, awesome story as normal. I need to stop being surprised when you top yourself. :)Author's Response: I can definitely take the wows. I can handle them. Don't feel the need to restrain yourself Hehe, thank you very much for such lovely reviews! They make me feel squishy inside and stuff :D Report Review
I loved that it wasn't the Harry but rather Neville.
Well, no. I didn't like it, because HARRY IS SO HOT AND AWESOME AND WHATNOT, but I appreciated it. Really.
I love how you can tell that it's Moody just from the way he speaks and behaves and the last line just serves to confirm
I love the sympathy Moody has for Neville, especially as Neville was usually portrayed as a blubbering idiot (before DH, that is) and Moody as the kind of person who doesn't really tolerate those people.
I mean, with his forgetfulness and all, Neville is kinda the opposite of vigilance.Author's Response: Ahha, thank you for such a lovely review! I've always thought that Moody would have had more of an interest in Neville than Harry, even though he never really got the chance to see Neville all that much.
Anyway, thanks for such a lovely review! It really brightened up my day :)
-AC Report Review
WAS IT MOODY? I THINK IT WAS MAD EYE MOODY :D
That or I'm just an idiot :P
Another great one shot. I've done too many of these tonight, so forgive me if they're just gettign worse and worse. (I'm also totally not going to reach my goal, but I've done more than 10 reviews today and that's plenty for me :P)
If it was Moody (and if it wasn't, this entire review is just going to make no sense whatseoever), then I think you did a briliant job with characterization. Of course, the eye bit and the constant vigilance at the end were the big indicators, but even the more subtle elements made me think it was Moody. Well, fine, I'm not that intelligent, but it did definitely feel like an auror, and once you got to the trial, it felt like Moody. I especially love the use of the word "clunked"-that's so JK Rowling :P
And I'm falling asleep while typing and I still have another one shot to review, so I'm going to cut this one short. Great one shot though!
-NaidaAuthor's Response: -review response three-
I should be leaving to go back to school again post-lunch, but I haven't finished eating so I'm just going to go right ahead and answer this.
YUS IT WAS MOODY.
Only one person hasn't gotten that so far, so I'm taking that is as a compliment. I stalked you earlier and I saw how many reviews you left yesterday and I was amazed. You can definately get to your goal by the end of the year (I can always provide you more material to review, after all).
I loved he stuble characterisation of Moody, it was really fun to explore and what not. Thanks for another lovely review Report Review
OMG - I love this. No names and yet I know exactly who each person in the story is. Moody is absolute perfection.
Amazingly well written... I bow down to your legendary storytelling skills!Author's Response: Ahhha! Thank you so much. I actually and genuinely loved writing this, so I'm really glad you enjoyed it :D
-AC Report Review
Hey! Thanks for the swap :) I loved the idea of this challenge, and it's been fun reading the entries and trying to guess the character of choice.
Naturally, my very first initial thought was that the first part of the story referred to the Potters, but I can now see clearly that the main character is speaking of the Longbottoms. Very interesting, exploring what they would have been like as normal, sane, living individuals. Very sad, also, of course.
It's also very clear to me from the way he spoke and the verbs you used to describe his movement that the main character here is Moody. Very powerful, using only those small hints to lead the reader along to the correct answer. Now that I think of it, the title is also an obvious reference, as obvious as the comment about his eye. (I'm actually a bit proud of myself for working it out well before the token line.)
I really love all of the details in this piece, especially those few sparse comments about the Crouches. You clearly did your homework and made this quite thorough. Your writing is beautiful and flows very well; it's also free of errors.
Well done! This was a pleasure to read.Author's Response: Hey there :) Thanks for this lovely review! I haven't actually read any of the other entries, but Ill be sure to try and do that at some point soon :)
Again, I'm relly glad that you thought of the Potters first. That was my original idea to abuse the whole 'unamed' concept.. and I had fun :)
I relly loved writing Moody and it was such good fun. I'm glad it was clear though :)
Thanks for the lovely review! :D
-AC Report Review
I know who this is, but... For spoilers sake I won't say... Even though the last line sorta says who...
THIS WAS AWESOME! Ok I can see why you have so many reviews on your stories and stuff now :D You're amazing (Add that to the ego ;).
I'm not even able to be critical at all... I mean, usually I have at least ONE thing I COULD point out... But... Nothing. Zip. Nada. Just praise for you!
Really now... xD
Mike.Author's Response: Hehe, thank you very very much! I think I'll actually have to give it a week spending time with the fam before I'm able to walk around without sticking my nose in the air after all thoes compliments.
Thank you so much!!
-AC Report Review
Hello, it's me (again).
And I really liked this! Your description was just amazing and it flowed really well throughout. I did not see any grammatical or spelling errors at all! I have never read anything like this before and loved every word Helen!
Emma xAuthor's Response: Emmmaaa! I owe you so many reviews. Don't worry, you're getting them (slowly, but surely... well, not surely yet. But TRUST ME you will get them).
Thank you so much! I loved writing this and...and, what was that? No grammatical errors?!? /dies
-Helen Report Review
Hi there, this is Len from the TGS Fic Exchange.
So at first, my first thought was that this was about Lily and James and Harry. And then as I read onward, I realized that I was completely off base. This was most definitely about Neville, Frank and Alice. It was rather lovely, in a sad and lonely way.
Moody is such an awesome character and I think you've done a wonderful job capturing his character in this piece. It was fabulously written. And I rather liked that you never really name the character, because you don't really need to. You give us enough information that we can figure it out all on our own. Granted it takes a bit to figure out that you are talking about Moody as he remembers Frank and Alice and how he aspires to teach Neville how to avenge his parents.
But I can totally see their torture as one of the reasons he heads to Hogwarts in Goblet of Fire. I can see his devotion (if you want to call it that) to Frank and Alice as a reason to take an interest in Neville.
I really enjoyed this.
LenAuthor's Response: Hi there! Don't worry, I was really aiming for people's first thoughts to be of Lily/James/Harry so that completely means that it worked the way I wanted it too, ahha :)
I'm pretty scared of writing characters which are mentioned a lot in the books for fear of getting them wrong and just ruining him - and this is the first thing I've tried with a character like Moody for like years and years It was really fun so I'm really glad you like it :D
Thanks for such a lovely review! Expect one in return soon ish :) Report Review
I must say, this is absolutely amazing! It's so artfully crafted and kept my head reeling, trying to figure out who the main character was and who they were talking about! I love it!
The hardest part was when I first started reading, because I was so confused! I have never read a story with Moody as the main character, so it took me well through that first little section before I realized who the character was. And once I got that it was Moody, it fell to trying to figure out what 'kid' he was talking about. At first I was thinking Harry, but then I started putting together the pieces about the parents and stuff, and surprisingly came to the conclusion that it had to be Neville before the end. I was quite impressed with myself xD
The final thing I must say is I love your characterization! I don't think I've read a story that goes into so much depth to make me feel like I understand the character! But this definitely managed that! And the description that went with it...it made the story seem longer than it was, but in a good way!
And the last sentence? Amazing. All it did was confirm for me that it was Moody. :D
Excellent story! I love it!
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: Heheh, I must admit that I really did want you to be confused at the beginning. I think I'm a sick psycho person who enjoys toying with people's emotions - but yeah, the confusion was intended so it is good that it worked :)
I wanted you to think it was Harry for awhile, mywhahah, I feel so powerful. Oh wow, thank you so much! I normally steer way clear of canon characters because they scared me - but this was really fun and I'm glad you think it worked :D
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
-AC Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this - it was quite short, but full enough to not feel like it. The language and just everything you put into it made it really powerful and meaningful.
I love how you swerved the reader off so completely off track in the beginning and lead them onto such a different path and then only hint towards the end that its something completely different.
I particularly like having the mystery there and picking up clues and working out what else is there in the course of the story to work out.
I think you handled his character really well and the phrases used seemed to be just like him. I really liked how you tied it off together in that last sentence too :)
xxxAuthor's Response: Ac writing something short!? :O :O :O
I don't think I've ever had anyone say that in a review before... I think I like it.
You know you were my test drive to make sure that the whole swerving thing worked, and as people seemed to have gone for it I'll thank you for making sure it was okay.
Thank you so much Hanzi love, really appreciate it :D
-AC Report Review
omg Helen stop being so talented. eep I loved this! I really enjoy stories that don't say the name of the main character and leave you to draw your own conclusions - it makes it sort of a fun mystery to untangle and to figure out.
I have to admit I was thinking the people you were talking about were the Potters... until you mentioned insanity and it was like this giant light bulb went off. ding! But I think that's also sort of interesting - it shows just how easily it could have been Neville instead of Harry. (Neville Longbottom and the Philosopher's Stone?)
You did such a good job with letting the reader figure out who you're talking about, and just in case it hadn't sunk in (which I picked up on pretty quickly, for the record :P) that last line really cinches it.
Obviously, the character you chose to write about is a daunting one to tackle, but I think you did a great job. In a way, I think not having the name helped - it let us come up with our own idea. But you did a great job - I could feel the sort of weariness that came from the war, and yet he had such a determination to finish it all that was really impressive.
Or thinking him so unfeeling as to not to visit at all. Sometimes it's hard to think of him as having feelings and being a real person, but this really brought it home for me.
tough, of course – they were all tough I thought this was a good point, because to be in the Order, there's some things that you've got to sacrifice, and you've got to learn to adapt.
The way you wrote this was absolutely beautiful and I love everything about this and it's so good and yay you! Good job. :) You are definitely converting me to being your number one fan! (psh, I already was ;) )Author's Response: Oh, stop it! - blushes a great great deal -
I wanted you to think it was the Potters! I like messing with people's mind and thus I couldn't resist making it seem one way, then veering the other. Ahha, so I'm glad that it worked!
I bet you picked it up quickly! You're such a Ravenclaw I'm sure I only confused you for a minute (when exactly did you figure it out) and oh, I love writing this with the whole last line. That was sort of my back up plan, in case anyone still hadnt got it... Ahha, I was scared it would be too obvious/too ambiguous but... most people seemed to have got it.
Anyway, thank you SOO much. I love your reviews - they're so wonderful and make me smile and sit feeling arrogant for a little while (which is a good thing). So THANK YOU very very very very very much :D
-AC Report Review
wow that was grat...amazing even! I'm just hoping this was about Mad Eye ody because it sounded a lot lik him. corrst me if i'm wrong x)
And anyway back to my lovey review! This was great with great description and I could reall feel like I was standing there watching the wole thing through my eyes. There were a few grammatical errors like a captital leterwhen their shouldn'tbe, ect. But this didn't ruin the story.
I have never witnessed anything like thi before and you have done very well with thin unnamed challeng, Give yourself gold star!
Great read and this is why you're my favorite author!
Ravenclaw xxxAuthor's Response: Oh yeah, it was good old Moody all right. Or else I'd just pretend it was to avoid awkward review-responding moments. Ahha, I'd be so embarassed.
I'll be sure to go back and edit those pesky mistakes soon! But thank you so much -gives self gold star-
Favourite author? /dies
Cheers, dear :)
-AC Report Review
Wow. Just... wow. Even though you never say who the character is, it's obvious it's Moody (and I'm going to feel like a total idiot if it isn't, but I'm pretty sure :P) - just the way you make him act, using 'clunked' to describe him walking down the corridor. Your characterisation is flawless and he's such a difficult person to write, the flow is lovely - it could be a bit smoother, but that may just be me... Still, really, really lovely. I liked the way you pointed out that he's still human and how everyone thought he was so much tougher than he was. Really, really good.
p.s. I'm totally not stalking you in the Corvarium! I swear! :PAuthor's Response: Thats cool, you should totally feel free to stalk me whenever - I enjoy the attention ;)
YEAH, it is don't worry. If I was reviewing an unamed story like this I'd probably make it all ambiguous to avoid the awkward moment when you realise that you've been talking about the wrong person... but it was Moody! And I'm so glad you go that, ahh...
Writing any character is defined in canon as Moody is pretty terrifying for me, so I'm glad you think I got him right!
-AC Report Review
Hello, AC. I'm here spreading a little RC Review love.
This is actually the second entry in the nameless challenge I've had the opportunity to review and I've got to say this is another great entry. I really enjoyed your characterization of Moody. I actually wasn't sure who the character was at first but once you had the line about him limping out of the courtroom, I knew who you were talking about. It was nice that the character wasn't obvious from the start but by the time you were done you knew exactly whose perspective the story was from.
The story had several wonderful lines but two really stood out to me. The first was "This war was over and he was not needed anymore." What a great reflection on the character of Moody. Where does a person like him fit in during peace times...especially when he sees danger around every corner. Very Winston Churchill to me. Also, the line "and there wasn't much left of him that hadn't been broken and fixed again." This just works on so many levels: physically, metaphorically. I love it.
Overall, this was very well written. The sentence structure is quite good. There were just a few grammar issues I'd point out but I think they are more likely typos than anything else.
Or thinking him so unfeeling as to not to visit at all. - just an extra "to" there.
"Hows the eye?" - should be How's
"I'm done," He barked at the Healer before she could reach him. - He shouldn't be capitalized.
...news had broken and since then had been working relentless to finish... - relentlessly, I think
Really nice job on the story!Author's Response: Hi there! Yay for Ravenclaw review battle love!
(sorry for sounding like an illiterate idiot, I'm on a review responding spree - and they melt my brain a little bit).
I actually haven't read any of the other entries to the challenge but I've been meaning to for quite some time. I thought it was a really good challenge and as I'm more or less a fan of messing with readers minds it was difficult for me to not try and make it ambiguous then obvious and such.
Moody does remind me a little of Winston churchill actually - I think it's the war like quality.
Anyway, thank you so much for the lovely review! I'll go back and fix thoes typos very soon :) :) :)
-AC Report Review
WHOA. *gapes* *at a loss for words*
This... this was very, /VERY/ powerful. It's Moody, right? I was a bit confuzzled in the beginning, but 'constant vigilance'..eh..can't doubt that, can I? :P And he's talking about Neville and and his parents, right? *tentative dance*
Now, on to a /coherent/ review (ahem..), YOU ARE A GENIUS! (to hell with coherency :P) No, seriously, you characterised Moody PERFECTLY. you hear that? PURR-FECT-LEE. This whole piece was just so Moody. Now, I've read Moody fanfics before, but then, it felt like I was reading fanfiction. BUT THIS? This was canon, canon, canon! This could have been a part of HP, for all I know. Phew.
It sort made me cry too, because, oh poor neville, I've never felt more sympathy for him than I did now. How Moody promised himself that he'd teach him to be tough. Just, awww..
LURRVEE...Simply the /way/ you narrated- the use of the words "god.", and just, /everything/ was fantastic. I don't know how you did, but you captured everything about Moody there was without mentioning his name. As well as about the Longbottoms. From the mere narration I can see how and why they were popular as they were, how much their loss affected the wizarding world AND Moody. You showed his way of showing feelings brilliantly. Wonderful job. :)
I think I've already mentioned how brilliant this was, so on to the CC. There were a few spelling errors in the beginning. The ones I remember, I'll point out-
"They child, that kid, god". I suppose you meant their child or the child?
"His parents battles, not quite won--": Parents' battles, right?
Last line of the first para- "To the death, if he had too." : If he had 'to'.
Thank you for entering my challenge, and look out for the results in January! ;)
~Vanya (hm..first time I wrote this. Feels weird.)
PS- I heard you hadn't had a challenge entry reviewed before? Well, now you have :PAuthor's Response: HEY! Thank you for reviewing my challenge entry! This so never happens. This has like made my day, so thank you very very very very muchly :D
YEAH ITS MOODY :D I wanted to make it all confusing and ambiguous at first, because it seemed like a wonderful opportunity to mess with peoples heads (and I enjoy that too much...). Yeah, the Longbottoms! I'm so glad you got it - I was scared that I was going to make it either really really really obvious, or impossible due to terrible characterisation so THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Hehehe, I'm just gonna soak up the compliments for a little while before I have to slap myself back to reality. Thank you though, really, definately made my day :D
Thanks for pointing thoes things out! I'll go back and edit it ASAP - I always miss a couple of things.
Can't wait! Thanks for the great challenge :)
-AC Report Review
As this is for the unmaned challenge, I think you have made an amazing effort to convey the personalities of the characters, obviously without giving too much away.
I have a faint inkling who the characters are, obviously I am still uncertain, hence the aim of the challenge!
I love how the story is split into three, seperate plots, all of which feature an air of mystery as the reader tries to figure out where this fits in to different characters.
You have captured the personalities of the characters portrayed very well, I think it is important to be able to distinguish between the three seperate parts, and you have done that extremely well, well done!
There are no grammatical errors as far as I can tell, which also assists with the flow of the story.
~ Happy Hedwig :DAuthor's Response: Thank you very much for this lovely review! I'm glad it worked well for the challenge as it was super fun to write (oh, man, I just said 'super-fun' someone should shoot me).
So yeah, thanks :)
-AC Report Review
Oh my goodness! That was so absoutely and wonderfully creative! I loved it! Took me a while to figure out it was Moody talking about Neville's parents, but I did in the end. Well done!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Thank you very very much! You know I always appreciate your reviews, and this one was no exception :) :) :)
-AC Report Review
'Kay... you had me pretty much confused as well. The first one I could follow a little, the 2nd I had a thought but probably not right and the third just blew me off my poor, striped, flashy socks.
I can't even tell if it's all the same person, or if it's 2/3 people, that confused I am! I hate you :( I don't like being confuzzled! (joke ej). This was just wonderful, you made me think and I won't rest before I figure is who this is/they are...
I hope you indeed had loads of fun writing this, 'cause it's marvellous! x)
Trick or treat,
xOSB Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection