Reading Reviews for In The Deep
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EverDiggory I'd Never Seen His Face

26th May 2012:
Hey(: You're the victim of my random review; hope you don't mind too much(;

I just--this was so incredibly well written that I had to leave some praise(: You definitely showed your ability as an author. This was so brilliant, it's unforgettable!

I wish I had the energy to leave you a longer review, but this'll do for now. Perhaps another time(: scratch that, I will definitely be back!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Aww! This was the sweetest thing to see! Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind review!

xoxo Alicia


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Review #2, by harronhermy I'd Never Seen His Face

19th April 2012:
Very, very nicely written. I'd never really had a second thought about Tom and Ginny's relationship before now.

Author's Response: It's creepy, right? They had to have some sort of a relationship, and Tom hadn't had human contact for so long.

xx Alicia


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Review #3, by Frieq I'd Never Seen His Face

16th April 2012:
This was great :) It's nice to see Ginny's POV from this part of the story for once. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you! :)
I would like to get back to this story and touch up some spots here and there. But thank you again!

xx Alicia


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Review #4, by NightStar I'd Never Seen His Face

5th April 2012:
Nice...I like it..:)
Well written:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

xx Alicia


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Review #5, by MoonPrancerxoxo I'd Never Seen His Face

3rd April 2012:
Brilliant story! :D absolutely amazing!

I love your portrayal of Tom, so malicious and evil, chills up my spine is what your words caused!

Poor Ginny :(, we never really see in the original chamber of secrets story how much Tom would have affected her, good job on your version!

Great story! :) beautifully written with very effective character portrayals, tempts me so much to look at your other stories ;)

Author's Response: Aw! Thank you so much! I'm so insecure about this, so that's nice to hear! :D

You should look at my other stories! I'm a sucker for a Slytherin.

xx Alicia


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Review #6, by MidnightBlue_x I'd Never Seen His Face

2nd December 2011:
This is a beautiful piece, so beautiful. I'm lost for words for what even to say. I read your other Tom piece- Only Power Remains, and I have to say that you are a flawless writer. I really enjoy your things! Looking forward to seeing some more, hopefully with some more Tom.

x Ely

Author's Response: Aww! Thanks so much! You are so sweet. xx

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Review #7, by adluvshp I'd Never Seen His Face

19th November 2011:
Tag :D

This was a nicely written one-shot. I think you portrayed Ginny quite well. The ending was kind of abrupt but overall the plot flowed well. I think you wrote Tom quite well too.

This was a nice read -- quite plausible. Good work.

9/10

Cheers!
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the kind review! :)
xx


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Review #8, by Akussa I'd Never Seen His Face

17th November 2011:
Tagged!

Hi!
I'm always tempted to read stories about this period of time for Ginny. People rarely tackle it and, if they do, most of them will not reach the level of quality you got. It was creepy and heatbreaking and horifying at the same time; all emotions that should definitly be attached to what Ginny went through.

I have to admit that I was a little disapointed at first. Just a little though because you picked things up nicely after. Personaly, I would I liked it better if you had given us a better description of Ginny's feelings at first; what is going on inside her. You tell us about her senses (what she can't see, can't do and touch, can smell...) but not how she feels.

Like I said you picked it up later on and then we got the full feel on what she was going through. Although some of it was a bit AU, I liked it none the less. The one thing that I really found OOC (and again, that is probably me) what the swearing. I have no idea why but to me, it just doesn't work to imagine 12 years old Ginny swearing. And also having "Sadistic psychopath" in her vocabulary :P

Aside from all that, it was wonderful. I had chills through my read and I think you did a great job with the subject at hand. Your protrayal of Tom was creepy and spot on.

Great work!

Author's Response: Yes, yes! I'm so insecure about this story, I wrote it in about 20 minutes after having drank a couple butterbeers *cough*

I agree sooo much about needing to describe what she's feeling, not just what she can and cannot see. And LOL! I know! She fell out of character, I'm not used to writing a 12 year old! It's been awhile since I was 12!

Thank you so much for your constructive criticism and your compliments, it means a lot! :)
xx


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Review #9, by Beeezie I'd Never Seen His Face

25th October 2011:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!

First, a couple minor mechanical things: In your third paragraph, you wrote "wont" instead of "won't," and throughout the piece as a whole, you often chose not to use contractions. Sometimes that worked, especially from Tom, but it often left Ginny sounding a bit stilted and unnatural. You also sometimes switched between past and present - for example, in your paragraph starting, ["No." I would not.], you had "would not allow" and "do not want to do" - I'd recommend reading through once more (or, if you like, I can - it wouldn't take long).

That aside:

I would have liked a little more description of Ginny's emotional state and what sensations she's feeling in the beginning. At this point, it's mostly dialogue, and even his cold hand in her hair (how does she know his hand is cold if it's just touching her hair?) isn't accompanied by anything that really helps us get into her frame of mind and empathize with her. Especially because this is a one-shot and you don't have a lot of room for readers to become attached to your character, you need to make her even more compelling, you know?

I didn't have trouble with her being a bit OoC in general - she's an 11 or 12 year old who has been possessed and tortured. OoC makes sense. However, there were a few points where your characterization didn't seem to fit the situation or Ginny. For example, she describes Harry as the object of her "deepest desires," which didn't really sound like an 11 or 12 year old to me. Similarly, her refusal to allow sound to leave her mouth just seemed a little odd - the fact that she'd fixate on that, of all things, just seemed not quite real to me.

I did feel like you got considerably stronger as you went on. You were describing her emotions and what she was experiencing in more detail, which really helped bring the scene to life. In particular, the way you described her flashing back to King's Cross and how she feels when Tom is torturing her were really powerful. I also found the idea that Tom used the cruciatus curse on her to be really intriguing - it had never really occurred to me, but I can definitely see it being the case.

This definitely isn't terrible! You're just being hypercritical. :P But, that said, I do think that you can improve it. :)

Author's Response: Oh! I'm sorry this took me so long to respond to! Thank you so much for your criticism/advice, I always look forward to it! I agree with the points of ooc-ness that you pointed out.

Thanks so much, hunny! xx


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Review #10, by CambAngst I'd Never Seen His Face

24th October 2011:
I really liked this, and I'm not usually a big fan of one-shots. The only thing that I think could improve it is a little deeper exploration of Ginny's sense of betrayal. She did, after all, use Riddle's diary as a confessional of sorts. Otherwise, this was great.

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you so much. Yes, now that I've been reading it over and over I see that it needs a little bit more. I don't feel like Ginny really gets through in her thoughts how awful she feels.
Thanks for the read and your kind words!
xx


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