If there is a line that cannot be crossed in romance and fluff, I am yet to see where that line is. You haven't crossed it in this. Mind you, it was fluffy and romantic. But sweet and adorably so. You didn't lose me at any point and at no point did I feel like getting a toothbrush to clean my teeth from the excessive sugarness in this. You just had me smiling.
This was such a sweet little one-shot and it was so happy and joyful. They way that Teddy and Victoire interact with one another was just so sweet. What you did really well was how you managed to keep them childlike and playfully innocent, yet it was obvious how much affection they had to one another.
I loved the way you use words in this. Some of your sentences and descriptions, particularly at the start, were just gorgeous. I especially loved how you described nature. When authors describe nature and the world outside and get it right, it's magic. You had that magic in this. And it all contributed to the overall sweetness of this story. You could have set it inside, but you didn't. And that was a very wise choice.
I loved the scene with the ducks. It doesn't hurt that they are easily some of the cutest animals ever, but it was just so endearing. I will however say one thing - the sentence "However, ducks. is a little bit awkward. I know what you're trying to say but firstly, it's not a sentence, and secondly it doesn't really make all that much sense. Don't get me wrong, your intentions are clear, I just think you could think about revising that sentence.
The last scene with the morse code was really sweet. And what I liked most about it was the originality of it and how it was something that was unique to their relationship. It was a unique little facet to their relationship and one I enjoyed very much.
I loved how nervous Teddy was in this. But the way he proposed, so simply and with so much love was just perfect. And I loved Victoire's reply to the proposal just as much.
Overall, a really sweet and fluffy one-shot that you should be proud of, especially considering it is your first venture into fluff!
Joop.Author's Response: Hey Joop!
Firstly I would like to say, I'm exceedingly sorry for taking so very long to reply to this wonderful review, I've been awfully busy and to be honest, very slack regarding HPFF for awhile (Summer holidays have been calling) :) But I really want you to know that I really appreciate this review, and it's very encouraging.
I'm so glad you didn't think it was too fluffy. I was suspicious that it was rather fluffy, but I'm very glad you didn't think it was too far. I loved your analogy "getting a toothbrush to clean my teeth from the excessive sugarness in this". That made me laugh :)
I'm really pleased you liked the character interactions between Teddy and Victoire, that's very encouraging. In fact, I'm immensely encouraged by all you have said in this review, and I shall definitely take into consideration your recommendation of altering that sentence. I do agree, it sounds rather clumsy, and next time I edit the story, I'll make sure to alter it.
Thank you ever so much for being so fabulously encouraging, I really appreciate your review. Apologies again for taking so long to respond! :) Report Review
Aw, that was a lovely story. I adore the use of your vocabulary in this one-shot.
I have nothing bad to say, though. :( I'm such a horrible reviewer.
I'll give this a 10/10Author's Response: Thank you very much for the lovely review, I'm glad you enjoyed my story :) Report Review
This is Pen2Paper here with your requested review. Your story is in a single word, adorable. I loved it, from start to finish! As with any fluff piece the romance played a great part in the piece and brought it to life in ways that you may not have even realised :)
Since you asked if it is 'too' fluffy I should probably tell you that with the genre fluff, I doubt there is a line beyond which one piece of writing is considered too fluffy :) that said yours was comparatively less dramatically fluffy than most pieces i've read from the genre.
I really liked that you played with your characters allowing them to be 'hopelessly in love' and carefree, very fitting with the tone and theme of your story, but also kept it very realistic. It feels like a scene straight out of a movie.
You set the mood and background nicely with your words and employ brilliant word choice with emotions and metaphors to amplify the reader's interest as the story progresses. Your descriptions thus are perfect and your flow is in great balance. Very well done.
Your title being directly related to the one shot again was a nice idea, as was the Morse Code. You really brought out the scene with your words, so well in fact that as I am writing this, a day after reading it, I can still recall everything down to the hand embroidered cushions in the French coffee shop!
It is rare to find a piece that actually pulls the reader into the story and makes them a part of it that the reader remembers every detail of it not just what they liked about it, long after they've finished reading. Indeed a great achievement :)
The ending of course is the highlight of almost all one shots. And this did not disappoint. You ended with flare, and with a very unique and romantic reply to a proposal. I was left with actual French music playing in my head as I ended your story! ( I suspect my imagination may have borrowed it from Ratatouille :) )
10/10 A very warm wonderful piece that ends with a happy ending we can all believe in :) Well done. Keep up the great work :)Author's Response: Oh my goodness, thank you for that amazing review. I'm still quite shocked about how nice it was, (I'm grinning like an idiot right now) :).
Thanks, I'm glad to hear it wasn't too fluffy, I was a little suspicious of it being so, but now I'm assured it isn't that bad :)
I'm so happy that you thought the characters were realistic, again, I was a bit worried they were too one dimensional, as in a one-shot it's sometimes hard to flesh out the characters.
Thanks for noticing the links between the title and the story content, the idea for the story just suddenly occurred to me, and thus the story was born from the title :P
Oh, thank you so much. I'm really glad you liked the ending, I tried to tie it in with the rest of the story :)
Wow, thank you ever so much for the glowing review, it really made my day. It's very encouraging and I shall certainly continue to write. Thank you and have a lovely day :)
Awh I really enjoyed reading that. The description in it is equisite and it enticed me in and made me want to read more.
Your first attempt at fluff was very very good in my opinion :D
GinevraMollyPotterAuthor's Response: Thank you very much for the lovely review, I'm glad you enjoyed reading my story :) Report Review
This. Is. Amazing.
I am getting to over-excited! I cannot believe you're new both to fluff and fanfiction, as this story is just amazing. You have managed to capture the personalities of the couple so well, and included little senteces here and there which make it as magical as the descriptions.
I always love detail in a story, and you have included just the right amount for the reader to follow the story. I think you have a natural ability at writing, your use of language and pucntuation assists in helping the story flow.
The chapter name and story name fits perfectly, and your imagination shows at the end where they tap messages to each other, a creative yet romantic twist.
I would love a collection of these stories, amazing! 10/10
~ Happy Hedwig :DAuthor's Response: Oh, wow!
Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm really glad you enjoyed reading my story, and it's a great encouragement to read this wonderful review, honestly, it's made my day.
I'm glad you liked the personalities and the description; I was previously a little worried that I had included too much detail, but you've rested that fear. :)
Thank you very much! Report Review
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