Hey, Maggie! :3
I always loved Ginny. I've noticed throughout the fandom there are some very differing opinions centering Ginny, but I've always loved her and admired her. You've got to have guts to grow up with six older brothers, don't you? And through the books, Ginny has never been anything short of guts and nerve. I absolutely love stories that cover the perspective of events from another character's point of view, and this is no exception.
I really, really enjoyed reading this first chapter.
The characterization of Ginny was just about flawless. The very first paragraph gave readers who read or didn't read the books the crucial information necessary for them to know to really try to get Ginny. The way you described the way professors glanced at her was fantastic. It gave an everyday sort of example of what Ginny had to go through before she could define her own thing.
I honestly got chills when she got that little, black book, thinking of what would happen. Here she was thinking she finally got some company, and what happens? This. Even in the first chapter I can already see Tom start to entrance Ginny like he had with Myrtle and Helena Ravenclaw before. And I noticed you had Ginny mentally building a picture of this sympathizing, trustful friend.
Amazing - just amazing.
I just listened to the podcast of this story on HPPC and I thought I'd come here and let you know what I think of this lovely story!
First of all, I applaud you for choosing such an interesting event for the story to revolve around. I never thought about what it'd be like to see Ginny's side of what happened in the Chamber of Secrets, so I'm officially intrigued to know what'll happen next between Ginny and Tom.
I think your descriptions were great and very calculated, especially those of Ginny's feelings and thoughts. Her experience with the diary was described very well too and that part was quite interesting. I'm eager to see what other details you will be including as the story progresses.
I believe that this is a wonderful first chapter, and hopefully, I'll be able to keep up with this because it really does seem like an interesting story!
Great job! :D
-Manno Report Review
I really liked your plot idea. Ginny's innocence shines through this chapter quite prominently. You have captured a 11-year-old's mind quite well. I could see her fears of being overshadowed by her brothers and her 'misery' at having everything secondhand. Her yearning to have someone to talk to is also clearly expressed. I quite like your narrative though I would have liked more detail and description about how she felt in Hogwarts. But of course, that can come in the later chapters.
All in all, I liked the plot, the characterisation of Ginny, and the smooth innocent narrative.
Slytherin for the Cup 2012 Report Review
No Ginny, don't tell him anything, it's how he will control and one day kill you!
I highly doubt she could here that anyway :p
Again, a very good interpretation of Ginny's perspective in her first year with Tom! :) I'm really enjoying this story so far! :D Report Review
I love these kind of stories :D we never get to see in the original chamber of secrets story what happened between Ginny and Tom.
You've portrayed Ginny very well so far, capturing her in innermost worries and insecurities rather effectively :)
A good job on Tom to! :D his maliciousness and manipulating has already begun! xD
Great opening chapter! :) You've intruiged me enough to very much want to read on! :) Report Review
Keep up the good work! Report Review
Took me a week to R&R this! A week since Chapter Two! :(
I like this story so much! I think it's a really unexplored area of the books, and so reading this is brilliant.
There were a couple of typing errors, but there's little point in dwelling on that. So I won't- I just thought I should point it out. :)
I really liked how you described Ginny isolating herself, not eating or sleeping properly, and so becoming ill. I like that it's noticeable, since Percy told her to go to Pomfrey, but everyone, including her brothers, just assume it's the flu. :)
The relationship between Tom and Ginny is present still, and it's interesting to read about Tom's reaction to her 'vacant tone'
I love how she reacts to the situation she finds herself in, where she is in the corridor. That's left me wondering what's going to happen next. :)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY! :( This is really excellent, so it's tricky.
I'll give up here, and will hopefully read chapter four soon! :)
Scott :) Report Review
This chapter was again really good. I think the word I'm looking for is in fact, excellent.
You manage to fit in so many of Ginny's emotions and feelings into this. It's really great, but that side of the story is largely unexplored in the books.
I think the chapter started well with the dream. She seems rather obsessed with Tom in this, after dreaming about him, then ignoring her fellow GRYFFINDORS and daydreaming about him. But I love how you've written it. :)
I really can't think of anything bad to say, but I did think of something else that I like, so I'll say that instead. I like how reserved Tom is being. He's becoming her friend, despite the dreams that she is having, but he's not seen to be forcing or hurrying this relationship. I can't wait to read chapter three, so expect another review soon! :) Report Review
Hi Maggie! Guess who? :D
This is hopefully a surprise review, so I'll be quite upset if you knew that I was writing this. But hey, I'd get over it.
Ginny and Tom Riddle is not something I'd often read, and I can't recall seeing many others- however, this works.
You managed to set up a scene that was natural, as well as easy to imagine. The way that you emphasised Ginny wanting to be different from her brothers, and wanting the recognition of being different, was really good, and something that was easy to empathise with.
Also, the way that you managed to make their relationship start by finding something in common also seemed really logical.
I'll be around to review chapter two sometime. Honest. :)
-accioHPFFAuthor's Response: OMG SCOTT! *was not expecting this!* Seriously, I was looking at my page going to my favorites when I saw I had a review. Anyway thanks :D I'm glad you like it so far. I was trying to make it as realistic as possible. Thankss!'
~Maggie Report Review
Awesome story I love itAuthor's Response: Thank you! So glad you like it! Report Review
Now, I think I validated this, but I read it again because it's been a while. I love how you're filling in Ginny's side of the story in Chamber of Secrets, that's something we never really heard, and I think you're probably spot on with this. You write Ginny very convincingly, and I'm rather jealous that you have the confidence and the skill to pull off the canon characters without destroying them like I do :P
You've got a wonderful grasp on suspension and intrigue here, I'm already drawn into the story, though we know exactly what's going to happen. For some reason, Ginny's impending spiral down is drawing me in, and that's mainly due to how you wrote it, so well done!
You also do a marvellous job at portraying a creepy Tom Riddle through just a diary. He's a hard character to write as he is so…well, evil, I guess. You've pulled it off well :)
Lovely work dear, and Merry Christmas! Report Review
Me likes your story lots, even if Tom/Ginny takes a bit of getting used to. It was all well written and although there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes ("that" instead of "who" and "com" instead of "come") it was a great chapter and I can't wait for more! I'm so excited for Chapter 4, so may the writing fairies poke you on your way to it! :)
AnnieAuthor's Response: Annie!
Thanks! It does take a bit of getting used to :p, but I love my baby! *pets story* I shall fix those mistakes ASAP. ie, whenever I feel like it :D Lol I hope the poke me on my way too!
*squish* Report Review
Haha good! I like the end part; poor Ginny. Is she starting to be possessed by Voldy?Author's Response: Haha me too! Hmm perhaps she is ;) Report Review
Good :) Very inthralling.Author's Response: Thanks again! :D Report Review
This is really good! :) I will continue to read more. Very interesting; I've never heard Ginny's side of this story.Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I'm glad you are going to keep reading!. Report Review
Wow, I think that you did a really good job of capturing that complete infatuation that Ginny grows to have with the idea of Tom and that he is there as her friend when she is going through the really tough years of not knowing who she can talk to and just the general instability of any friendship. This captured those emotions really well and I can't wait to read more of your story. :)
AnnieAuthor's Response: Annie!
Wow, thanks Annie! *blushes* I was hoping to get the infatuation that Ginny has with Tom. So, yeah I'm really happy that I did! I'm putting the next chapter in the queue soon!
P.S. I love your reviews!
P.P.S. Thanks for the review!
P.P.P.S. *squishes* Report Review
I think this is a really good idea for a story and I can't wait to see how Tom affects Ginny next!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I already have the few chapters written (because of Nanowrimo) so I should have the next chapter up soon. I hope you won't be disappointed, and I'm glad you like the idea! It makes me happy!
~Levana Report Review
I tried to have this up as soon as i possibly could :)
I actually really love the opening of your chapter. and since it's the opening of your whole story in general, i feel as though you did a really good job! Opening lines are the things that i ALWAYS have trouble with and end up procastanating to no end. so well done :)
Another good thing would have to say is that the thoughts of Ginny were very crisp and clear in the first few paragraphs and everything rolled into each other perfectly.
However, somewhere along the beginning of paragraph four i felt as though you kind of lost grasp of your character. Im not saying it's bad, im just saying it could be better :)
Try to ponder on one subject for a while, dig deeper and deeper till you honestly feel like you've run that subject dry. Leave no detail. Because i know how hard it is to find the right words and then sometimes we just leave it and just go for a smaller line. But that's what's going to make you reach 100%. Detail. Don't leave any of it out :)
Other than that, i felt as though your plot idea is great and im sure it will get better as the story goes on :) just try placing some extra ideas into every paragraph and focus more on somethings and you'll be well on your way!
Good luck, Bella xAuthor's Response: *answers this almost a year later...oops*
I'm glad you liked the opening chapter of my story! I always find them hard to write since it sets the stage. Thanks so much for the helpful review! It helped me alot!! ^_^ Report Review
I love it. All your stories are so different from each other!
1. This story - a dark angst story
2. FLOSB - a normal marauders story
3. The Lestrange Heir - an AU drama humor story
4. The Rournament - a next gen fun story.
And a one shot or two!
Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks! I guess they are all different from each other. Glad you liked it! :D Report Review
wow, I really like it... to let you know, I actually haven't read a story like this before, and I LOVE IT!
yeah talk to you in a sec :PAuthor's Response: Yay!! Review!! *dances* I'm glad you love it!!
talk to you in a sec too lol :p Report Review
I love the idea of this :) The interaction between Ginny and the diary is very much one of those missing moments from canon, something that we never get to see. I love coming across stories that will in those gaps, I think it's one of the most wonderful things about fanfiction.
You do a marvelous job of conveying both Ginny's innocence and Tom's ambition in such a small amount of words. You've really got a good grasp on writing, it all flows fairly naturally. You could perhaps use a little more 'internal monologue' sort of stuff, to show more of the character's thoughts and personality. That's harder to pull of in third person, and I don't know if you've written any first POV stories, but perhaps try that, just to see :D
A lovely one shot :) I must admit I balked a little at the pairing, as you mentioned people might, but really, I had no need to, haha. Well done!
-GiolaAuthor's Response: Hey Giola!
I'm glad you love the idea of this :) Oh wow thanks! I try really hard, when I started a few months ago I could hardly describe a chair, but I am way better at it now. Hmm, internal monolgue, I'm not exactly sure what that is, but you will see more of Ginny's thoughts in the later chapters.
I'm really glad that you took the time to read this even though you were skeptical about the pairing at first.
~Levana Report Review
LEVANA! *hugs* HI! *waves madly*
I love this! I love how you wrote Ginny, so realistic, feeling alone and like she is living in the shadows of her brothers. I had thought before about why she would trust the diary, but the way you wrote it makes complete sense! 'Ah, so you are like me? Starting at Hogwarts poor, with second-hand supplies and robes?' Of course she would trust someone who she thought was just like her!
I did think that her choice to suddenly start writing in the diary could have been drawn out slightly since it seemed to just happen, as though you were missing some thought process. Maybe just a line like 'Since nobody has used this, maybe I could.'
I don't know why, but the line 'When she looked back down she watched slightly horrified and fascinated as Dear Diary disappeared and was replaced by: Diary? That's not my name.' made me laugh :P It sounds just like something I would say, though, coming from Tom Riddle, it sounds like he is wondering who would be writing in it and he is trying to soften them up with a little joke.
I also like how you used 'She remembered her father saying that she shouldn't trust something if she couldn't see where it's brain was.' It shows that you have either read the book too many times and remember it, or you did your research, which is good :D
Whilst only being a small chapter, it still managed to be long enough to keep me hooked and I can't wait for the next chapter! The last line, 'He made small, kind and polite comments, hoping to gain Ginny's trust and confidence; and he did.' made me want to know more, made me want to know how he had done that, what was going to happen next, even though I already know how it is meant to end!
Awesome chapter! I can't wait for the next one!
-Amy :DAuthor's Response: AMY!! *hugs* HEY! *waves madly back*
I'm so glad you love it! I really relieved that the way I wrote Ginny is realistic. I'm really trying to keep this as realistic and cannon as possible. I really want this to be the story that you can't judge by the title and pairing. Though I'm sure most of the people here will pass by it because of the pairing. That makes perfect sense to you? Yes! *pumps fist* That is exactly what I was hoping for. Hmm yes, now that you point that out I will fix that. Thanks :)
Oh! I love that line too. I wanted to add some dry humor into the story. Now that you mention it, that does sound like something you would say :p Yeah, I've read the book more than once; it's one of my favorites.
I hope you enjoy the rest as much as you enjoyed this chapter!
~Levana :D Report Review
You are a boss. And I am really tired, so please forgive my incredible eloquence. *nods* Anyways, I do love me some Tom and you made Ginny pretty likable, which is a major accomplishment given how I'm not a big fan of her. Anyways, your characterizations were great and I can't wait for more. Short chapters + updates = Happy Annie but I might even *cringe* go so far as to read a long chapter for you because you're just that cool. What are you still reading this for? You should be WRITING. *nods* *runs away* (hug) (h) (hug)
P.S. *has read review* *ponders* I don't really think I said anything of meaning... nor did I do a good enough job of expressing your awesome, but I also am bad at editing things... so just know you are awesome. And not to tell me about your stories when the percentage of things I say that are intelligent is close to zerooo... but I still liked it! I just can't put that into woords... *squish* OKAY. ANNIE OUT FOR REALS. YOU A NINJA BOSS. (h)Author's Response: ANNIE
O.o Haha just kidding, your review made my day! An you are forgived :p Yay! You love you some Tom! Me too I love Tom Riddle! I'm glad I made Ginny likable, she annoys me too, sometimes.You like short chapters! Awesome! I can't ever get them like longer then 1000 words. Updates + Annie's Reviews = Happy Maggie. And I'm still reading this because you are just that awesome! (hug) (h) (hug)
P.S :O You said a lot of meaningful things! your review has made my day!! Sorry :p you seem to always be tired when I am excited about stories! *squish* OKAY BYE ANNIE! (h) Report Review
Lalala, hi :)
I liked it (as I said before xD). It's an interesting plot, even though it's oh so short >:(. Enjoy it? Yes, yes I did. Hate it? No, no I did not. I like the detail in it :)
~SaraAuthor's Response: Yay! Thanks for reading it!! I'm glad it's an interesting plot :D. I'm glad you enjoyed it and didn't hate it!! I hope you keep reading
~Maggie and YAY first review (i think) *squishes* Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection