Very funnyand adorable. :)

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I love the portrait of Scorpius you've drawn here. I normally don't care for the "talk to the audience" style, but your Scorpius is so engaging, it's hard not to love him. :-) Great fic!

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"He looked concerned for my health. Or my sanity. Who knows?" That line just made me laugh so much. I really enjoyed this one shot! Love the tone you chose and how you've rendered the characters, I don't usually read post generation fics but the summary was too good to turn away from. Lovely job.

Author's Response: Lol that line is one of my favorites too. It was fun coming up with the quirky ramblings inside Scorp's head. (though not that hard, so I wonder what that says about me. o-o ) And I'm glad the summary drew your attention in and that you got to read something different from what you usually read. :D

~Khanh

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wait... so its not just me? even the *god of slytherin feels that way? jkjk
but seriously loved it
Sequel, or even better a novel

Author's Response: Haha yes.
Hmmm, I might channel some more of my inner Scorpius... we'll see. ;)
~Khanh

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So cute! Loved how Rose was the one to kiss Scorpius, and not the other way around :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and I think that's what made the kiss even sweeter. ^^

~Khanh

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I. Love. This. Story.
It’s great to read any time of year, and I like how you made it that Scorp and Rose finally got together at Christmas, it’s such a lovely way of starting their story. I also like the way you wrote Scorpius, his attitude and his affection for Rose, not to mention the way he reacts around the rest of the Potter-Weasley Clan, One this I have against this… “And we all know there are no such things as Nargles.” Yes, I am going there… Why would you say such blasphemy! Nargles are so real, every one knows that. :)

Well I think that is basically telling you I had nothing against this story… (unless you count the Nargles) It had a great flow, a lovely atmosphere and showed more of that style of writing that you are best at. This is defiantly one of your best (that’s not because it’s a Rose/Scorp cause I like Lily II better) It’s cause you made this Rose/Scorp really enjoyable to read.
One thing I have to say to improve the flow, like I said in one of the other reviews is about the “” thing in this sentence for example;
““Yeah, I’m fine.” If your definition of fine is “still tremendously embarrassed, possibly emotionally scarred, and on the brink of insanity”, then yes, I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. Why do you ask?” It really confuses you at first, I had to read it twice to understand that he wasn’t saying it out loud. So just watch that for future reference.
Otherwise I loved it, it was beautiful and the perfect Christmas story. Well done.

-SS

Author's Response: Ahoy there! Yay, I see you have found my Christmas-in-October story. xD

If it helps any, it pained me to type those words. Such blasphemy! How could Nargles not exist? Alas, Scorpius is too narrow-minded to truly experience the world. xD

I'm really, really glad that you enjoyed it, and thank you for the tip! ^^

~Khanh

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This is lovely!
It's a sweet story; quite cliche, but very well-written; and that's what makes it so special.
Your tone here is very nice; Scorpius' thoughts are very interesting and realistic. It captivates your reader, it makes her laugh.
I really, really liked this!

Author's Response: Haha, yes, it's quite cliche, but I needed a quick break from writing my novella when I had writer's block. It was fun writing this, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! ^^

~Khanh

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This was fantastic. And quite amusing. Scorpius's mind is very entertaining. And I liked that it was addressed to the audience. It made it more funny. Plus, your subtle-but-really-not-so-subtle allusion to the actual Harry Potter franchise was priceless. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review! I had a lot of fun writing this, and I'm glad that you liked it. I love including allusions in my stories, and the Harry Potter one is definetely one of my favorites. ^^

~Khanh

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Hi, this is Livi with your BvB review battle review!
Oh I really really like this story. It's one of the first really good Rose/Scorpius's I've read. For some reason the other ones all seem to have Scorpius in tears! Anyway, I really like the humour in this story, the style really suits you, and you get Scorpius bang on. He's sarcastic and funny while still proud and very much a Slytherin! Here are a few things I spotted for you to go back and edit.
'“Hurry up James! You’re going to make us late! Quit snogging your girlfriend.” Al screamed at his brother.' I don't think Al would have screamed here, I think he would have yelled or hollered. Also, Lysander Scamander pops up at one point to talk about Nargles with Rose, which doesn't really make sense, because this is a Potter-Weasley gathering. It should probably be a different Weasley who she turns to talk to.
I loved this story though, I really enjoyed reading it, it was funny but it had plenty of plot and I don't think you rushed into the kiss too much, which is always good! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked it. :)

Hmm, I will go back and fix that detail. As for the Lysander one, it was orginally supposed to be a Wotter-and-friends gathering, but since I never mentioned that I suppose it doesn't make any sense. xD

Thanks agian for your review and for spotting those! :)

~Khanh

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Hey! Here from Review Tag :)

Oh, Scorpius! Poor guy. It's neat to see him looking insecure and out of place. I think that's how anyone would feel shoved into a house full of Wotters, let alone the son of a Malfoy. It's also neat that you gave Harry and Ginny a mansion. It kind of makes sense considering Harry's contributions to the wizarding world, but I've never seen it written before. Nice!

This contained a few terms and phrases that seemed a little informal to be coming from a Malfoy, but it was so catchy and adorable that they really didn't bother me that much. I loved all the references to the past, like You-Know-Who and Peter Pettigrew. It really paints a picture of a future in which Harry's exploits are common knowledge for the children.

Great job! I really enjoyed this :)

academica

Author's Response: Thanks for all the compliments! Gah, you're making me blush. I'm glad you liked the story; I've read some stories of yours too and it means a lot coming from you! :')

Hmm, I see your point about the informal-ness, but I guess since most of it was inside his head he wouldn't have to worry about being a "proper" Malfoy. xD

~Khanh

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HEYO! Here for review tag :)

First of all, I have to say some lines in here made me really giggle a lot. It's not particularly hard to do but anyone who can gets automatic points with me. The idea of anyone coming to a Weasley/Potter christmas is something I think you've portrayed well, and humorously too :) It's true that there's an overwhelming amount of them in the immediate family alone and probably any game or contest that requires teams would be a really overwhelming concept. There's bound to be some cousin/sibling rivalry, just magnified 2349572394576 times or something.

Not a math student. Ahem.

I like that you included parents/uncles/old people here too. I think it's pretty realistic to assume that the kids wouldn't just be running rampant like they appear to in some stories.

Also your ability to format is very impressive. I can't figure out indents after like, five years. Applause for indents!!

While I think the idea of Scorp-o being someone who looks for affection through other girls--and a lot of them--is kind of a tired line, he was an entertaining narrator and I don't particularly care :) I thought the story over all could be a bit more about Christmas...but the interactions were written well and I enjoyed reading it.

I think you actually need to bump the rating to M with a Strong Language warning for this one-shot though...I'm not sure if it went through the queue or you're a TA, but you have a couple words in here that require that rating. Check out the staff tutorials on language ratings ;)

-lily

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review, your compliments have made my day! I'm glad that some lines made you laugh! xD

As for the Christmas, I had originally planned to write more, but the story just seemed to write itself, so I adjusted it to just the first evening of Christmas break due to laziness. xD

Thank you for telling me about that, I shall go bump up that rating now. :)

~Khanh

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" Someone should give him a medal or write a seven-part book series about him or something."
” Al’s voice pulled me out of my (very-unpleasant-and-emotionally-scarring-but-maybe-that-was-just-me-as-Al-was-there-too-and-he-came-out-fine) reverie."

CLASSIC!

Author's Response: Haha, thanks for the review! These lines were inspired by a stroke of genius, a plot bunny, and the channeling of Scorpius, so they seemed a bit effortless to me, and I'm glad that you enjoyed them as much as I did! ^^

~Khanh

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Aww... so cute! love the ending :D

Author's Response: Thank you! ^^ I'm glad you liked it. :)

~Khanh

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hey
i really loved this short story!!! it was a really great story idea!
it flowed really well and was really funny! i love the summary and your style of writing!
it was realistic and believable so congrats!!

Author's Response: Thank you for the encouraging review and positive feedback! I'm glad that it was realistic and that you enjoyed it. ^^

~Khanh

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I actually love this story so much! In fact, I have no critiscm whatsoever! Your writing style flows naturally, and I just have to keep reading!

I love how you've porrayed Scorpius Malfoy, and included all the Weasley relatives. This links it in this new generation with refernces to past, which I think is perfect!

You've captured the atmosphere well, and with Scorpius as the Narrator, you have included some amusing little insights to his mind which I think has been done extremely well!

I especially love where Ginny mutters to Harry "just like Ron," and the naturalness of Scorpius and Rose's conversation, I can visualize it happening, it seems so genuine!

An absolutely amazing story! Well done! 10/10

~ Happy Hedwig :D

Author's Response: Thank you for all the positive feedback! It was my first attempt at next-gen, so I'm glad it sounded natural. I was bored that day and seemed to be channeling Scorpius that day, so there you go. xD

Thanks again! ^^

~Khanh

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Hey, here for review tag!

This was terrific! I really enjoyed it! :) I especially liked your writing style - which was informal and really funny - and the fact that you made the atmosphere seem relaxed and really realistic to me. I've never been a huge fan of the crazy house rivalries that have somehow only gotten worse, or the idea that Scorpius is hated by all the Weasleys. This worked really well for me, and I liked it a lot!

There are one little thing I want to point out, though - occasionally, your tenses got a bit messed up. For example, in the second-to-last paragraph, you start in past tense, and then go on to say, "she's finally kissed me," which is present. I'd suggest that you just go through to double check your tenses. :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! I hadn't even realized that--I'll definetely look back at my tenses when I go to edit it with a banner/CI! :)

~Khanh

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Well this is Cleopatra from the forums with a review for the hooked sentence challenge. First of all, I’m so sorry for reviewing after the deadline but I was celebrating my birthday so I didn’t see it. I really like the summary I thought it was really eye-catching and I thought it was a funny idea to write a Christmas one-shot in the middle of October.
Onto the hooked sentence, since that's what this challenge was all about. I think it was very fitting for this story and the mood you were going for especially because in the beginning it was mor like who am I kidding and in the end he realized Christmas wasn’t going to be that bad after all. So I liked the fact you used the same sentence into two different meanings so kudos for you on that.

I really liked the fact it was about Scorpius who ended up going to the burrow. I thought it was funny that Ginny and Harry smiled when Albus said that thing about the ferret thing. Also I find it highly believable that Ron after all that time couldn’t stand Draco Malfoy and Harry ended up getting a bit along with Draco Malfoy after the incident they went through I’m sure Draco would be a bit nicer towards him. Hmm in the end when Rose kissed him I hoped with everything that nobody saw them especially Ron because I’m sure he would want to kill Scorpius.

That's about all I can think to say. This was a really a nicepiece and I hope you enjoyed entering this challenge. Thanks for entering my challenge and check back later today to see if you won.

Cleopatra

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review!

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was a really fun to write fluff for a change! xD

I had a lot of fun with this challenge, and I'll definetely check back later today.

Fingers croseed,

~Khanh ^^

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AW I love this! Scorpius is so funny haha

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you think Scorpius is funny... I was hoping that he was as fun to read as he was to write! :)

~Khanh

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This was perfect! :) I loved it!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! ^^

~Khanh

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that was awesome! it was really hilarious and also very cute. that part about draco crying in the bathroom made me laugh so much, as did the getting attacked by a brain joke. great work!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was nice to take a break from my current story and write something entirely fluffy. And including the cameos from canon were too tempting, I couldn't resist! xD

~Khanh

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