Reading Reviews for The Hands of Jealousy
  
32 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Original Name Falling into Memories

8th January 2012:
I'm a little confused, I honestly can't get my head around the relationships. Does Harry love Hermione or Ginny? It's getting quite confusing and awkward this love triangle.

I thought the idea of The Hands of Jealousy was that Snape lost Lily to James, so Harry is trying to avoid the same fate as Snape, by winning Hermione over so he doesn't lose her to Ron. But then again he is generally upset when Ginny wasn't willing to accept his apology and move on.

I both feel sorry for Harry and Hermione at the moment it's bound to be confusing stuck in the middle of this scenario alone that's without the real possibility of losing his/her friends if he/she does something wrong. Harry is probably going to lose both Ron and Ginny as friends if he chooses Hermione, but if he chooses Ginny will he actually be happy because she kinda seems like an bitch with the assault and everything.

It seems that Harry is physically attracted to Ginny but that really don't run anywhere near as deep as the relationship he has with Hermione. I personally would like to see the dilemma ending with Harry and Hermione living happily ever after, but just how possible that is, is another question completely.

Cliffhanger certainly was effective this chapter, what is the answer Harry has come up with? Hopefully it involves a shotgun and Ginny in a field in the middle of nowhere, ugh I guess really hate that pairing. Don't worry if you decide to make it H/G I'll keep writing and reviewing.

I need to read more! So . . get writing! :)

Author's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing, I love receiving them!

I understand how this is all suddenly getting rather confusing but I guess it's because the characters themselves are confused as well and all are worrying whether or not it's all worth breaking their friendships over.

I must say your comment for Harry's answer definitely made me laugh and it would be hilarious but I think it could be a little out of character hahaha!! But hopefully you'll still be impressed by what I've come up with.

I will definitely add a new chapter soon but bear with me as I have a few upcoming exams that I need to revise for! :D


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Review #2, by Cassius Alcinder Falling into Memories

8th January 2012:
Back for the last chapter!

The Harry/Ginny scene was pretty heartbreaking, but totally beleivable after what just happened. I'm a fan of that ship in general, but obviously it can't really work anymore in this story. i wonder if Harry will still be welcome around the Burrow after this.

It was also nice to see the Lily/Snape flashback, it seemed very similar to the memories we saw in the prince's tale in the books. That was a nice way to end the chapter having Hermione show up, and you've left us wondering what happens next!

Good luck with the rest of the story, and congrats on winning the challenge!

Author's Response: Usually I'm a Harry/Hermione shipper but whilst writing this Harry/Ginny grew on me so it was quite difficult to write that scene but I think it kind of had to happen.

I'm really happy you thought the flashback was similar to the Prince's Tale in the book because that is definitely what I was aiming for! I'm also happy I ended the chapter quite well.

So for my final reply I need to thank you for picking me as the winner of the challenge! I was so happy when I saw and I honestly smiled for about three days afterwards, it's the first challenge I've entered and to be chosen as winner was brilliant, so thanks so much! And although 10 reviews was the prize I'm really thankful that you made all 10 incredibly informative and that they were all full of constructive criticism and that you also mentioned the things you liked within each chapter, they've all been incredibly helpful!

Thanks again!


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Review #3, by Cassius Alcinder The Strangest Advice

8th January 2012:
Hermione's characterization was very well done in this chapter, we could really get a clear picture of the guilt and confusion that she must be going through, and how complicated her realtionships will be now.

I like how you included Percy, I was wondering how much he had noticed in the earlier chapter, so that was nice attention to detail. I imagine Percy would have learned a lot about himself and getting his priorities straight after what he went through.

This may have been my favorite chapter so far, it seemed the most natural.

Author's Response: This is my favourite chapter I've written so far too as I was able to concentrate on exactly what Hermione would be feeling and I found it really interesting to write, so I'm happy you found it the best as well.

I'm really glad I nailed Hermione's characterisation too. Also I'm really happy you noticed that Percy noticed something in the earlier chapter, it was a suttle hint so I was worried nobody would notice! Yes, Percy is definitely trying to right his wrongs and I hope that showed through too.


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Review #4, by Cassius Alcinder Reactions

8th January 2012:
This chapter really moved things forward! Ron and Ginny's reactions were very beleievable considering that they had just been betrayed by their closest friends.

Ginny was in totaly fiesty redhead mode, which is probably what you would expect in this situation.

It's a shame to see their previosuly string friendships end up this way, but it seemed inevitaly given what happened. I'm curious to see what happens next!

Author's Response: It did indeed! I'm glad you thought Ginny and Ron's reactions were believable because I found this chapter really difficult to get right considering what Ginny and Ron had discovered was so big.

I know, I too was quite disappointed that I had to ruin their strong friendships and I'm the one writing the story! But yes, it did have to happen I'm afraid, even if it did kill me a little inside!


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Review #5, by Cassius Alcinder Back at the Burrow

8th January 2012:
You did a realy good job of portraying the Harry/Hermione interaction in this chapter. We could see how they were drawn to each other, but felt guilty about betraying Ron and Ginny.

The letter from Lily was very nice and well written, but just one little thing, I dont think she would have still trusted Snape since he was a death eater at that point, she probably would have given the letter to somebody like Sirius.

The end was a great cliffhanger, I wonder how this will affect all their relationships.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I really wasn't sure about how Harry and Hermione would act towards each other in their uncomfortable state so I'm glad I now know I did it well thanks to you and other readers reviews.

Yes, I was warring over the fact that Lily wouldn't have trusted Snape at the time so I think I may need to change that to somebody else, for example Sirius as you so mentioned.

I was definitely aiming for a cliffhanger so thank you for that too!


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Review #6, by Cassius Alcinder Floo Powder

8th January 2012:
There is a very interesting dynamic going on here, and its interesting to see how Ron and Ginny are completly misinterpreting everything while Harry and Hermione are really uncomfortable.

That was a nice detail how you incorportaed George and how he is dealing with the loss of Fred.

It will be very interesting to see what happens when they get to the Burrow.

Author's Response: I'm really happy you find the dynamic interesting and hopefully other readers are feeling the same way.

I thought it was important to show how other people are reacting to the Battle too so putting in George's reaction seemed quite important and I'm glad you thought that was a good detail to include.

I'm also glad you seem like you genuinely want to read more!


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Review #7, by Cassius Alcinder Reunited

8th January 2012:
This was very interesting to see how everybody reacted to what happened in the previous chapter. The Hermion/Ron and Harry/Ginny converstaions had just the right amount of awkward tension, and it wa sinteresting to see how Ron was totally insecure and jealous, while Ginny was comforting and understanding. Things are really getting complicated for Harry.

On a formatting note, there's a couple really long paragraphs in this chapter that I would recommend breaking up into smaller paragraphs to make them easier to read.

On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm glad you don't seem to see any content faults in this chapter, I was really worried that I'd got the whole reaction bit wrong so I'm really happy you thought it turned out good!

Other reviewers have also mentioned that formatting problem so I'll definitely go back and change it!


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Review #8, by Cassius Alcinder In the Slytherin Common Room

8th January 2012:
That was a very interesting twist having the whole hands of jealosy thing in the slytherin common room. Snape seems totally creepy, which is really in character, most people seem to forget just how creepy he was.

I was wondering why Harry insisted that only Hermione come with him, but now it makes sense, nice twist.

Harry seems to be acting strangely, if he's just doing on his own then its kind of weird, but if he's under the influence of some kind of jealously spell, then it would make total sense.

We'll see what happens next!

Author's Response: I'm very glad you think I'm portraying Snape well! And yes, I know that seemed odd at first but I'm happy you liked the twist.

I suppose Harry might be acting strangely and that means that I've probably not characterised him right as he isn't meant to be, so I'll have to recheck that but thanks for pointing it out. Once again thanks for the great review!


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Review #9, by Cassius Alcinder The Potions Classroom

8th January 2012:
This was very interesting to see Harry going through Snape's things to try to find out more. And Snape replacing James with himself in the photo? That so creepy, but its totally in character and something he would do.

That was very surprising to see Harry react like that and be so angry with Ginny. I would recommend explaining his reactions a little more since it seemed a little random.

Small formatting note, it would probably help to add a blank line between the lines of dialogue.

On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I've always found Snape a little weird like that and I thought it was something he was likely to do and I'm glad you agree too and that you think it's totally in character, it's great because I'm never sure whether or not I get the characters right.

Quite a few reviewers have mentioned the point that Harry's sudden reaction to Ginny is a little odd and random so I'm definitely going to go back and alter that at some point, so thanks for pointing that out.

Also I will add those blank lines in too if you found it difficult to read.

Thanks once again for the review, this one was definitely helpful.


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Review #10, by Cassius Alcinder Professor McGonagall's Speech

8th January 2012:
McGongall's speech was very well done, it struck the perfect balance between honroing the fallen and acknowledging the victory over Voldemort.

It was also very interesting to see Harry and Ginny's interactions, and how their relationship might be affected by the emerging Harry/Hermione tension.

I definetely want to see what happens next.

Author's Response: I'm really happy you want to read more of the story at this point as it's very encouraging that I'm managing to spark that feeling in people.

I'm also happy that you thought McGonagall's speech was good as it was very difficult to get that part right.

Thanks once again for the great review!


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Review #11, by Cassius Alcinder The Day of Rememberance

8th January 2012:
Hey its Cassius Alcinder from the forums, I owe you 10 reviews for your challenge prize, so here it goes!

I like how you started things out, showing the immediate aftermath of the battle. Harry seemed totally in character, he would definetely be thinking about all the people that didn't survive.

You set up an interesting Harry/Hermione/Ron dynamic, kind of similar to what is was like when they were in the forest. I would hope that Ron would be over his insecurities by now, but I guess its entirely plausible that he wouldn't be just yet.

Its nice to see that the Weasley's are still looking after Harry.

Author's Response: Hey!

I'm glad you liked the chapter and I'm really happy you though Harry was characterised well as that's important to me! And yes, I was aiming for the dynamic between the trio to be very much like what it was like in the forest so I'm really happy you commented on that point.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #12, by Fred The Strangest Advice

6th January 2012:
God Precy is such a tool.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing, I guess that's your opinion and I'm fine with that.

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Review #13, by Fred Back at the Burrow

19th December 2011:
Well thats the end of those pairings.

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review again and it's great to see you've been following the story! I'd love to hear your actual opinion on the story if that's possible, like whether you like it or not, because your reviews are a little unclear! But thankyou! :D

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Review #14, by Original Name Back at the Burrow

17th December 2011:
Another great chapter, and another cliffhanger. Ron and Ginny's reactions will certainly be interesting. Lily's letter was short but sweet I suppose.
Looking forward to your next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your reviews once again! They're all really encouraging and are helping me lots! I realise Lily's letter doesn't exactly answer many questions or anything so I think I will probably go back and alter that at a later date, possibly.

I've almost perfected the next chapter so it will soon be put into validation so you won't have to wait too long for Ginny and Ron's reactions! Hopefully they'll be satisfactory and in character, fingers crossed!

Thank you once again, it's great to know I have at least one interested reader haha! So thanks! :D


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Review #15, by HipogriffDancer Back at the Burrow

17th December 2011:
Love it!! Pleasee hurry with the next chapter!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! I'm currently perfecting the next chapter so you won't have to wait too long, although it will be after Christmas as the queue is closing for the holiday obviously :)

Thanks so much for the positive feedback, love getting it :D


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Review #16, by Original Name Floo Powder

11th December 2011:
Well Ron and Ginny still seem ignorantly blissful about Harry and Hermione, although the whole conversation did happen in front of the whole Weasley family, maybe they would have noticed Harry and Hermione's reactions during the argument.

Good Chapter, looking forward to the next.

Author's Response: I quite like your point about one of the Weasley family members noticing something was up so I've gone back already and edited it! Great point!

Thank you once again for you review, really love getting them! The next chapter's already in validation so YIPPEE!!
By the way, if you'd like me to review any of your stories feel free to PM me on the forums at CatrionaS85 and request one!

Thank you once again! :D


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Review #17, by EverDiggory Reunited

7th December 2011:
Ethan not a big fan of Ginny/Harry moments...I'm a harmony shipper... You built up the emotions:D yay for you,only a small problem,Moslem of the larger chapters could have been broken into chunks for easier reading. But amazing story,you're getting better and better! 10/10

Author's Response: I'm unsure what you mean by Ethan and Moslem, but I get the gist of what you're saying! I thought this chapter was defintely kinda long so I agree with the fact that I could break it up a bit and I'll definitely do that when I come to edit it. Thankyou once again for the incredibly high rating! I really appreciate all your feedback and I think it will really help me when I come to alter a few things so I can't thank you enough! If you have any stories you'd like me to review please PM me on the forums and I'll be happy to do so! :D

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Review #18, by EverDiggory In the Slytherin Common Room

7th December 2011:
Excellent,excellent,amazing,awesome,super über chapter!!! Hermione's response was beyond amazingly great! Amazing job!10/10

Author's Response: Really!? Wow, thank you so much! I really appreciate it, that's just, well, amazing that you've scored the chapter so highly! Thank you so much, I was definitely unsure on Hermione's reaction but now I know I've gotten it perfect! :D

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Review #19, by EverDiggory The Potions Classroom

7th December 2011:
My jaw dropped,when he said Hermione wouldn't ask me such a stupid question. Like holy crap. Ten shock value points for you. Mainly, in this one his anger was just suddenly there. You should at least explain the build up a little,so it's not just there. If you intended it to be a quick coming anger,try to clarify that. I was confused at first,because he just snapped on her,and it took me a second to piece it together. Try to clarify,otherwise god job. 8.5/10

Author's Response: Yeah, I have to admit it is rather shocking. A couple of reviewers have mentioned that it's extremely sudden, Harry snapping at Ginny like that, so when I go back to edit I'll definitely have to think about improving that side and making it more obvious to the reader as to why Harry's behaving as he is! Thanks so much, your reviews are all so constructive and you've given me a lot to work on so I can't thank you enough! :D

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Review #20, by EverDiggory The Day of Rememberance

7th December 2011:
I found it interesting how you showed us the readers how Harry and Hermione have almost a different bond then Harry and Ron,as well as the bond between Ron and Hermione.Harry's speech about mourning,not celebrating could have used a bit of explanation,but it sufficed. The only big thing that stood out to me, was Harry's emotions need to be more portrayed in his thoughts,but otherwise,good start. By the way,I'm reviewing,as promised,my username is EverMalfoy on the forums.onto the next chapter! 8/10

Author's Response: Yeah, I agree, to be honest I think my first few chapters are slightly sketchy and when I finish the entire fic I'll most likely go back and edit a lot of stuff to make everything more believeable, so yes I'd probably agree with you on the fact that Harry's thoughts and emotions need to be more included. I suppose I could have improved Harry's speech but I didn't know quite what to put at the time so I'll probably improve that as well later on! Thank you so much for your review, you've given me some great feedback and hopefully I can work with it to improve my story! Much appreciated! :D

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Review #21, by Fred Reunited

5th December 2011:
Wow Harry is the worlds worst friend, kissing his best mates girl.

Author's Response: Thankyou for taking the time to review, I appreciate the feedback.

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Review #22, by magicmuggle01 Reunited

3rd December 2011:
Never mind about not being sure about this chapter, you certainly put alot into it. I could just imagine the outburst and pouring everything out in one go, like he'd stop if he didn't get his feelings out.
Excellent chapter and another 10/10.

Author's Response: You always leave me excellent reviews and it really does spur me to keep going so I can't thank you enough!

I thought the chapter was a bit long and I put so much information in it that some of it I didn't really see as that relevant so that;s why I wasn't too sure, but I'm glad it did pay off in the end!

Thanks so much again for your fantastic feedback and the next chapter should be up soonish! :D


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Review #23, by Original Name Reunited

3rd December 2011:
Great Chapter,

Harry has really dug his own grave, by kissing Hermione and then telling Ginny almost everything that is bothering him with the exception of his feeling towards Hermione obviously. If Harry and Hermione end up together, I doubt that you can savage the Golden Trio with the state of uncertainly Ron is in.

I like you've done an amazing job with the characterization. The story-line is great, leaves me on the edge of my seat. Definitely one of my favorite Fic's on the site.

I can't for next chapter to find out what Lily's letter and her diary says.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your amazing review! I'm really glad you think I've kept my characters correct and I'm honoured you rate it so high as to say it's one of your favourite on the site, that's just incredible!

I'm working really hard to get the next chapter right and hopefully it will turn out as good as the ones I've already done if not better!

Thanks for your amazing feedback and the next chapter will definitely be up soon! :D


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Review #24, by Rapid Fire In the Slytherin Common Room

14th November 2011:
Interesting but you've written your self into a corner.

Hermione will tell Ron what happened as she so big into absolute honesty. So now only two things can reasonably happen. Either Harry and Hermione get together and never see either Ron or Ginny again. Or Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny get together but never spend any time around each other because they know they can't trust Harry. So now that we know what can happen no point in caring about it.

Author's Response: I see what your saying and I kind of agree, so I'll take what you say on board, possibly alter a couple of little things in the chapters and see what I can do to get out the corner. Thanks for your review and hopefully others will care about what I write in the next chapters. =]

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Review #25, by Michelle In the Slytherin Common Room

14th November 2011:
Please write more to this story

Author's Response: I plan to add more but at the moment I'm working on other stories and I need to adjust a couple of things in the present chapters. But of course you will see more!

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