Hi! I noticed both you and the next person in review tag reviewed my stories, so thought I'd leave you a review as well! :)
Aw, this was such a sweet little conclusion to this collection! It was sweet to see how kind Astoria was to her son, and her traits from the last chapter certainly came through. I almost wish Narcissa had been there to see him off as well, just to bring the story full cycle! :)
I'm glad Scorpius ended up a Ravenclaw, it was unexpected. It was cute how he justified it with the fact he enjoyed reading, and that McGonagall led the clapping in embracing Scorp and not judging him for his father and grandfather's faults. It's a great way to think of Hogwarts continuing into the next generation.
This was a fun little collection to read and explore, and I like how you surprised me while reading it! Good job! :DAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing =)
I am pleased you found this a sweet conclusion to the collection. I played around with the idea of Narcissa being there but then I wasn't sure. If I edit in the future, I'll surely think about it again.
I am glad you liked my choice of Scorpius' house, and found his reaction cute. Indeed, I wanted to show that McGonagall (or any of the school staff) will not judge him for his father's and grandfather's pasts so I am glad it came through to you.
I am happy to get your reviews on this collection, thanks =) Report Review
Aw, this was so sweet, and I'm always excited to read about Astoria. I really like how you portrayed her here, and I'm surprised that I didn't catch on she'd be a Hufflepuff earlier on. It's so unexpected, especially since she ends up with Malfoy, but very fitting to shake things up that she becomes a Hufflepuff. I loved how caring she was, helping the scared little girl out of the boat and reassuring her, and sparing some compassion for Draco, which was also a great nod towards the future. What a lovely little girl she was!
I think you gave a little credit and painted Hufflepuff in a positive light. Astoria isn't a 'Puff because she's unsuitable for anywhere else, but because she possesses the wonderful attributes which make Hufflepuffs special.
Great job, again! This collection is so sweet, and I like the original spin you put on it! It's interesting comparing Astoria's sorting to Narcissa's sorting, and how different they both are! :)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing.
I am pleased you liked my version of Astoria, and my sorting of her. I am glad you find it fitting. Yeah I wanted to show Hufflepuff in a positive light and highlight her Puff features before sorting her =)
Thanks again for your lovely review, and I am pleased you liked the way I did things. Report Review
Hi, here for some review tag! :)
I liked this little sorting ceremony story a lot. I have a weakness for our favourite characters being turned into innocent little eleven year olds anxious for the future, and this was a really nice bit of insight into Cissy's mind. I liked the little details that hinted about her personality, like the fact that she was determined to appear a certain way though she was inwardly nervous.
I also thought it was funny how she didn't want to be in Ravenclaw because her sisters and cousins would tease her, it was very typical of a child and very sweet! I enjoyed the detail about Andromeda comforting Narcissa when Bellatrix is being a little rude, it fits so well with her character.
My favourite bit of foreshadowing here was probably the hat telling Narcissa that she was destined to do something great. She thinks that she's going to do something brave that makes her powerful, but in fact it will be her un-Slytherin traits, like her love and loyalty to her family, which will make her save Harry's life that night in the forest. So I thought that was a very nice detail. :)
I never thought much about Cissy as a child, but you really brought her to life and gave her depth here. Good job! :)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.
I am glad you liked this sorting ceremony story. I love turning characters into eleven year olds too, and Narcissa is one of my favourite characters, so I am glad you liked what I did, and the little details as well.
Yeah I figured that an eleven-year-old would think of such things, glad you found it funny! Though I didn't show much of Andromeda and Bellatrix, I still wanted to hint at their personalities from Narcissa's point of view, so I am pleased you like that.
Indeed, it was my favourite bit to write too. The sorting hat can be very wise at times xD You exactly voiced my thoughts while writing that scene. I am glad you found it a nice detail.
I brought her to life and gave her depth? Really? Thanks a ton!
Your words mean a lot to me, thank you! Report Review
Hogwarts: a Revised HIstory? I loved that. I wonder who revised it? I can just see Hermione doing something like that.
Back on topic, though, again you surprised me with the House you chose. Like I said in the last review, I just expected that all these people would end up in Slytherin, whereas in reality only one of them did. (In this telling, at least.) I hope Astoria was right and Draco would support his son whatever House he was in, because I can see him being very disappointed that the Malfoy tradition wasn't followed.
All in all this was a very engaging, thought-provoking set of one-shots, and I'm glad I took the time to read them. Well done!Author's Response: Thanks for dropping by again!
Yes, I thought that so many things happened in Hogwarts after the trio's time so someone (or maybe even Hermione, as you said) could have revised it xD
I am glad I succeeded in surprising you, as that was my intention. Yes, Draco has changed and he should definitely support his son - and it is not like Scorpius ended up in Gryffindor - and Astoria is there with him too.
I am pleased you liked all the three little stories. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hufflepuff? Well, that did surprise me, I must admit. Granted, throughout the story she didn't really show the traits of a Slytherin, but I suppose that with the three people you were profiling that they would all end up in that House. Silly of me, wasn't it? Anyway, I thought this was an interesting look at the Sorting of a character we know so little about. Nice that she was so open minded as to where she would end up, though I suspect Daphne would have been disappointed they didn't share a House. Good story! :)Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing again! I wanted to try out something new so I put her in Hufflepuff. Astoria is pretty much a blank slate when it comes to canon anyway =)
haha not silly at all. I wanted to show how 3 people of the same family could be different in their personalities =)
I am glad you found this interesting and liked Astoria's open-mindedness. Yes, Daphne would definitely be disappointed xP
Thank you! Report Review
Very nicely done! I like the juxtaposition between the expectation that she behave like the lady she has been brought up to be, and the little girl wanting to express herself. It seems a little odd to me that Narcissa would be seen as an arbiter of change, though I suppose there iscertainly an argument for that.
One thing that did strike me is the description of her having strawberry blonde hair. Narcissa is always portrayed as having white blonde hair, not with a tinge of red as strawberry would indicate. Not necessarily an error, but something that struck me as odd.
Anyway, that nolwithstanding, I thought it was a very interesting take on her Sorting. Well done!Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Sorry for the delay in responding.
I am glad you liked this, and the way I showed how Narcissa was caught up between the lady and the girl. I think she could be the arbiter of change - after all, if she had not lied to Voldemort about Harry being dead, things would have turned out very different in the end.
I thought that perhaps as a child she could have had strawberry blonde hair and it grew lighter over the years?
I am glad you like it though, thank you! Report Review
Tagging you again from Review Tag 2.0!
Wow! Astoria Greengrass as a Hufflepuff. For pretty obvious reasons, I'd never considered any house other that Slytherin. At the same time, I don't see anything wrong with your choice. She's a completely blank slate in terms of canon, so you can put her wherever you like and make it work.
The qualities you gave her -- an earnest sort of eagerness, kindness, a friendly and welcoming disposition -- all fit perfectly in Hufflepuff. From the very beginning of the story, I loved the idea of her as a girl who's not only excited but also very comfortable with where she's about to be. It made perfect sense: her family is magical going back for generations, her father has told her all about the sorting and her sister is already at Hogwarts. There isn't much for her to be worried about.
She was so nice to the little girl who was afraid to step out of her boat. This girl is night and day compared to the way her sister is typically characterized and definitely not a thing like her future husband. I have to imagine that Draco would have pushed the little girl's boat back out into the lake if he thought nobody was looking.
Her dialog with the Sorting Hat sounded just about right. Nothing too deep or foreboding. She seems to have been a rather easy decision in the sense that she wasn't strongly attached to any particular house going in.
I didn't see a thing wrong with your writing. Everything flowed nicely and you had a good mix of dialog, narrative and exposition. No typos that I could see.
Nicely done!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for your lovely review.
I am glad you found my characterisation of Astoria to fit into Hufflepuff. She is a blank slate indeed so I gave her my own spin. I am pleased you liked the idea of her being excited about where she'd be and feel comfortable about the sorting.
Haha indeed, Astoria is different from her sister, and her future husband.
I am glad you liked the dialogue with Sorting, as I was afraid to over-do it.
Thank you so much for all your praise, I am glad you liked it all. Report Review
Scorpius. ♥ This was shorter than the rest but this is definitely the cutest. I love the relationship between Scorpius and Astoria and how she mentions that she was a Hufflepuff so Scorpius shouldn't worry. In a way, he kind of reminded of Albus when he was worrying over what house he was going to be sorted in.
Anyway, it's been a fun three-chapter journey! I think what I learnt from your story is that we shouldn't judge someone just because of their past. Astoria and Scorpius's ancestors were Slytherins but that didn't mean that they were going to be Slytherins too. I loved the story and I had so much fun reading them! Amazing job, thank you for writing this! :D ♥
100th review out of 100
OH MY GOSH. I DID IT. YES! YES!Author's Response: hey! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing this one as well.
I am glad you found this cute, I adore Scorpius too xD Its good to know that you liked my portrayal of Scorpius' relationship with Astoria.
Aw I am so pleased to know that you liked all the three chapters, and that you managed to learn something from this little short story collection. I always believe that people shouldn't be judged on the basis of their pasts either!
Thanks again for all your awesome reviews, and congrats on reaching 100 reviews! Report Review
Ooh! That was a definitely nice surprise! Astoria Greengrass as a Hufflepuff is something that I've never read before, though I think it would suit her since she seemed really sweet and nice. She even bothered to help the other girl get off the boat! I like your characterisation of her.
I love the fact that you're giving her your own identity. And it's not like anyone can hold you for it because the books doesn't say anything about what house she was sorted in, a lot of us just assume that she was a Slytherin.
I'll admit that this chapter didn't flow as good as the previous one for me but I think that's just because this was longer than the other on what with the boat scene and all. Still a great job though! :D
99th review out of 100Author's Response: Thank you once again for reading and reviewing this!
Astoria was always a Hufflepuff in my head canon so I wanted to write her as one in this story. I always think that Draco needed that balance in his life. I am glad to know that you liked my characterisation of her.
Yep, I was a little worried about canon-nitpickers would bash me for giving her my own identity, but I figured I was safe since the books dont exactly tell us that she was a Slytherin.
I am sorry that this didn't flow as good as the previous one for you, but yeah that'd probably be because of the boat scene. I just wanted to make it a little different than the previous one, and not focus on the sorting only.
Thanks a lot for your lovely comments!
This is the second time I've read a story by you about Narcissa and you have a talent when it comes to her characterisation, even when it comes in the form of her eleven year old self. I love how she kept on going about acting prim and proper. It makes you realise just how much she was trained by her parents to act this way!
From the very start, it's obvious that she's one that likes to keep the peace in her family. She didn't want to do anything that could possibly upset her parents or her cousins during her time at Hogwarts. I think that's one of the reasons as to why she is such a great mother to Draco!
Amazing job with the writing! Everything flowed so well and I just enjoyed it! :D
98th review out of 100Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing this one, its one of my personal favourites ;)
I am glad that you like my characterisation of Narcissa, be it her eleven year old self, or her motherly self xD I always believed that pureblood parents really train their children in specific ways and I tried to show that here too, so I am happy you liked it =)
You have described her very aptly, that's exactly how she is! I am glad that you could understand her character from this little story so well.
Thanks a lot for your wonderful review! Report Review
Hmm, it seems like I have read and reviewed several of your stories now and I have to say, I am really enjoying the experience! You have a very sophisticated style of writing that is easy to read and hooks me in immediately.
You're right, we don't know much about Astoria from the books, though I guess I've always just assumed she was in Slytherin, so I found this chapter very interesting. I actually like that she was sorted into Hufflepuff-it also makes it sorta sweet that Draco ended up marrying a witch from Hufflepuff! And that's probably how I'm going to imagine it from now on!
I liked your characterization of Astoria is this chapter. She seemed pretty bold and fearless, while at the same time having a definite edge of innocence and sweetness about her. Your depiction of her has actually made me want to read more about Astoria, so nice work!
Courtney:)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I am glad you like reading my stories and find my writing style "sophisticated" and "hooking". I am very flattered!
I wanted to give a different spin to Astoria, and so I put her in Hufflepuff, and I am glad you could accept it.
I put some thought into Astoria's characterisation so I appreciate the fact that you liked her depiction. There are some lovely stories on Astoria out there, and I hope you get a chance to read them =)
Thanks! Report Review
I'm glad that I decided to carry on reading, as this was a very enjoyable read! I loved how though all the characters were interlinked, they were all different and that showed in which house they were placed, and the most important thing was that they were happy with their choice!
One CC British people wouldn't really say Momma, it would probably be mummy or mum:D
Other than that I thought this story was great, as I've always loved the sorting, as it shows the characters true identity! Kiana:DAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter too!!
I am glad you liked the idea of interlinking the characters but keeping them all different =)
I always think that ultimately everyone should be happy with the Hat's choice.
Oh since I am not British I didn't know, but thanks =) I'll make that change to mummy when I edit!
Thank you once more! Report Review
Hello, it's patronus_charm from the review tag!
I liked how Narcissa Black's true emotions were hidden, as that's an important part of being Black, never reveal your true emotions! You say she had strawberry blonde hair, I thought it was platinum, I guess it could go lighter as she gets older though:)
The way you described her upbringing is exactly how I imagined it to be, and it made me feel rather sorry for Narcissa, as it doesn't sound very pleasant having to remain 'proper' all of the time. I thought it was a good idea to include where her infamous nose wrinkling comes from!
It's interesting to ponder how much would have changed if Narcissa would have been sorted into Ravenclaw, as it could have resulted in no Draco possibly.
It was nice to how caring Andromeda was, as I'm always interested to see how people make all three sisters interact with one another, and I think you did a really believable job!
Overall I thought it was a great chapter, and a really interesting perspective to explore! I loved the last line about Narcissa only being free in dreams, I thought it was great! I'm off to read the next chapters now, Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!
I am glad you liked my characterisation of Narcissa, her emotions, and her upbringing.
Oh I always thought she had strawberry blonde hair, but yeah it could get lighter as she grows up.
I wanted to invent something of my own regarding the nose wrinkling to amuse my readers, and at the same time show her innocence, so I am glad you found it a good idea.
Hmm that's very true. I always think the houses people get sorted into define a lot of their future courses in life.
I am glad you liked Andromeda's portrayal too, and found the interaction between the three sisters believable.
Thanks again for reading! Report Review
Well, the thing that stood out the most for me in this chapter, was Narcissa and her characterisation. I thought it was really well done!
In the first few lines, you managed to describe the quintessential pre-Sorting experience, with the sweaty palms and fast heartbeat, and all that, but what I really liked was that in those first lines, you also gave us an insight into the mind of eleven-year-old Narcissa in such a way that you could see her becoming the Narcissa we first meet in the books.
As the piece went on, I think you revealed different aspects of Narcissa's character as an adult through the mind of an eleven-year-old girl very skillfully. The line, “…she closed her eyes for a fleeting moment, wrinkled her nose like Bella had taught her,” really showed (to me, at least) that part of Narcissa that was nervous and afraid, and also that part of Narcissa that looked up to Bella. I think, these two parts of Narcissa war within her for a while during the series, and suggesting those aspects were already warring within her at such a young age, is quite insightful - it kind of makes you think that perhaps young Sirius might have felt the same way, at some point.
I also really enjoyed the ironic foreshadowing by the Hat at the end of this chapter - very clever, indeed!
A unique take on quite an intriguing character!Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I am glad that you liked my characterisation of Narcissa!
Its good to know that you think I made the eleven-year-old Narcissa align with the one we see in the books.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I tried to reveal as much as I could about Narcissa, trying to foreshadow her future actions which we see in the books, so I am glad it worked!
The Hat's dialogues were a struggle to write so its great to know that you enjoyed it!
Thank you! Report Review
Hello! I'm here from Review Tag!
I've always found Narcissa a fascinating character and this was a great little look into her mind! It really fitted with the Narcissa we know in canon, but gave an insight into her mind which you don't really get in the books.
I really admire how you brought across her nervousness with her desire to hide it: her childishness is definitely there, but you can also see how she will evolve into the inscrutable Black lady one day. Her nagging worries about the reactions of her family are subtle but pervasive. I thought that she seemed extremely realistic.
Before reading this, I'd never considered that Narcissa has Ravenclaw qualities, but I can really see it now... I liked the Hat's parting words to her about being a Slytherin. It's often a house represented as very two-dimensional so it's good to see it being given more depth!
I also liked the way you characterised Bellatrix and Andromeda, even though they were only directly mentioned at the end. Their reactions to Narcissa's Sorting seemed very telling...
All in all, a really great study of a character and of the Sorting process itself! I really enjoyed reading this!
-BethanyAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I am glad you liked this, and found my Narcissa in tie with canon, and found her eleven-year-old self realistic.
I always thought of Narcissa having some Ravenclaw qualities (look at her cleverness and pride) so I wanted the Hat to take that into consideration.
Thanks again for your sweet review :)
Oh this was so cute and sweet and I just loved it! That ending was just such an awe moment. I loved the way you described Scorpius, how you made him a nervous first year and a momma's boy but still yet he still loved and looked up to his dad. And speaking of his dad I thought his characterization was great as well! The way he shyly gave a huge in front of all those people and was still loving to his son, I thought it was great. I wanted to let you know that there is a slight misspelling in your chapter summary part. It says stood instead of stool, and its also in the actual story itself. Other than this one small mistake though, I didn't notice any others. I enjoyed this collection of sorting oneshots very much! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I am glad you found this cute and sweet and liked the ending. I was a little worried about Scorpius' and Draco's characterisations, so its a relief to know you found them good!
Oh, thanks for pointing out that misspelling, I shall correct it :)
Thanks again! Report Review
I do love how you put your own twist on this and had her in Hufflepuff instead of Slytherin. It makes it your own and unique! I thought Astoria was just a sweet little girl, and so nice for helping out this other girl to get out of the boat. The chapter flowed very nicely and I couldn't spot any errors floating about. I'm hoping that her friend made it into Hufflepuff as well so she at least had someone to talk to! I did enjoy the fact that you also have her family as one that doesn't care what house you are going to be in, it really added to the characters and made Astoria's characterization and placement fitting. A very enjoyable read. Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I wanted Astoria to be different than what most people imagine, and for some reason, my head canon is her being a very non-slytherin person. I am glad you found her being Hufflepuff unique and nice.
Its good to know that you found the chapter flowing nicely, and didnt see any errors (thank Merlin), and that you enjoyed her family's characterisation too.
Thank you! Report Review
Oh this was a very nice and wonderful chapter! I very much enjoyed the look into Narcissa Malfoy and how she was as an eleven year old. I thought you did a great job with her thoughts about her family and trying not to do anything to upset them and how she had to be the perfect daughter and couldn't act like any normal eleven year old. I just want to say that your writing has improved so much and you are doing such a wonderful job with it now. I honestly couldn't find any mistakes in this chapter and the discription and flow were both done really well! I enjoyed this very much! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Hey! thanks for reading and reviewing!
I am glad you enjoyed this and think I did a fine job with Narcissa. Thanks again for your nice review :) Report Review
My goodness. You are a VERY talented and gifted writer.Author's Response: Really? Thank you so much! Report Review
Not as good as the one on Astoria, but still pretty goodAuthor's Response: thank you! Report Review
Wow. There are a few grammatical errors, but you have real talent. Well done.Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am glad you liked it thanks! Report Review
Aw, that was cute. Maybe it was because Scorpius seemed a lot more uncertain than either his mother or grandmother did in their sorting stories, so I just wanted to hug him and comfort him. The scene on the platform reminded me strongly of the epilogue scene between Harry and Albus. Like Albus (and countless other kids, I'm sure), Scorpius was worried about which house he'd be put in, and then his parent reassures him with some surprise news about her own sorting.
Draco I think only had two lines, but you did well with it. I'm not talking about the dialogue itself, although it was just fine. Just the way you described his behavior seemed in character with the way I imagine him. He's not all that affectionate, but I think he's trying to be a good dad.
I do have one little math and/or typo bone to pick with you, though. :P In the first sentence, you mostly use numbers to write out Platform 9 and 3/4. However, you also stick the word "quarters" in there, so it's Platform 9 and 3/4 quarters. Technically, 3/4 quarters is 3/16. :P Of course, this is a pretty minor detail.Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Aw, 11-year-old Scorp is definitely cute, and I loved writing him, so glad you liked him here!
I was worried about how to go about writing Draco, even in the little bit he had in the story, so its good that he seemed in character to you.
Lol, I didn't realise that typo! Thanks for pointing it out! I'll edit it :)
Thanks again! Report Review
I too typically assume that Astoria was probably in Slytherin, but since she's essentially a blank slate, authors are free to to what they like with her, as you have done here. By the time the end of the story rolled around, I was not surprised that the Sorting Hat put her in Hufflepuff. Even though this chapter was also quite short, you did manage to infuse it with a sense of Astoria's personality. She just didn't feel like a Slytherin, and Hufflepuff did seem like the best fit the way you chose to portray her here.
I do have to admit that I am not the hugest fan of the boat scene, where Astoria helps the other girl. The scene served its purpose, being an obvious way of showing Astoria's non-Slytherin tendencies. It just didn't seem to flow as naturally as I would have liked. I think that's partly due to the length of the chapter. The focus was on the sorting, not the boat, so developing the scene to a larger extent would have been distracting. At the same time, it takes up enough of the chapter that it's not just a passing thing. I don't know if that makes sense. :P
Something I find interesting is that you chose Astoria instead of Draco for the middle generation of this collection. However, I do think you made the more interesting choice. I suppose it might be interesting to know more about Draco's sorting, but I think writing about him is more limiting (since we know more about him). I also suspect it would have been easy or tempting to sort of echo Narcissa's sorting, in a way, if you had decided to write about Draco.Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I wanted to try something different for her, definitely not Slytherin, so I wrote this. I am glad that within the short chapter you could see her fit into Hufflepuff.
Hmm, I wasn't sure how to fit it in the flow, I did try my best, but I'll see what more I can do about it. As you said, after all, the focus was the sorting and not developing other scenes largely. It definitely makes sense xP
I did think about writing Draco, but then as you said it would have been quite limiting. Plus, I wanted to explore Astoria :)
Thanks! Report Review
Hi, Aditi! Alopex here with your HPPC Secret Santa reviews! I just hope you are sleeping in your part of the world, rather than obsessively checking reviews, so that you won't see these before I get them all posted. :P
All right, with that little intro out of the way, I'll get down to the actual story. I rather like short story collections, which is why I chose to read these. The three generations idea is interesting as well, so I'm looking forward to see what sort of connections (if any) you make between the three chapters.
This chapter was fairly short, so I guess I don't have a huge amount to say about it. Narcissa doesn't get a lot of face time in the books, but I did always think of her as rather cold and distant in some respects. Here you're showing the roots of that behavior as training to be aloof and haughty--a proper Black family lady. I think here too we see the roots of Narcissa's commitment to family, or at least the importance she places on it.
This reminded me a bit of Harry's sorting, just because the hat suggested a different house as a possibility, but then allowed Narcissa to choose.
I think in fanfiction, we often see characters who are slightly older, so it was nice to read about the Sorting ceremony, to see the uncertainty and fear (even if suppressed/hidden) of leaving home and having to adjust to a new situation.Author's Response: Hi Alopex! Sorry for the delay in responding to your awesome reviews, I was quite lazy xP
I am glad you like short-story collections, this was my first attempt at doing one.
Its good to know that you see the semblances of the Narcissa we see in the books with the one in my story. I haven't ever written 11-year-olds before so I wasn't sure how to go about setting the whole character.
I am glad you liked this. Thanks! Report Review
Though this was short, it was very cute and I could definitely picture little eleven year old Narcissa and all of her emotions-you write her very well.
Courtney:)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you found this cute & think Narcissa was written well :) Report Review
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