Reading Reviews for This is Angelina
69 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dreamgazer220 Blood and Defiance

21st May 2016:
Hey Gabbie! Here with your requested review ♥

So I really love the idea behind this story. I love that we get to see parts of Hogwarts from a minor character's POV, especially Angelina, who I feel like isn't written about that much. I like how you tackle her, though - she's strong and loyal, but she's still scared and vulnerable. I think that's really relatable, especially at a time like this.

I love the dynamics between all of the friends here. Angelina and Alicia are especially close, and I love seeing strong female friendships. I like that they encourage each other but still tease each other, right along with Katie. It seems like they each have a special bloke in their lives and I'm curious to see how the dynamics play out!

Then, of course, there's the relationship suspense with George. I really like that Ang didn't tell George before the battle, but it's so heartbreaking, knowing what's coming next for the Weasley twins. Though there's a part of me that's oddly excited to see how you're going to tackle the aftermath and all of the angst with the effects of battle and the scars.

I really liked your dialogue. I felt like it was realistic and I loved that you didn't rush into the action; you just kind of slowly built it up, providing more suspense that way. I feel like some parts of the descriptions did bog it down a little, like with Professor McGonagall, but parts like that are necessary so I'm not sure what to suggest to fix it. The overall pace of the chapter was fine, though.

Overall I really enjoyed this! You know I love the way you write George and Angelina, so I'm sure I will eventually be back to see what you end up doing with this.

Thank you for another request! I really enjoy your writing.


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Review #2, by Owlpost68 Aftermath

6th November 2015:
Ahh!! Oh my gosh I felt horrible for Angie!! How could you make her go through that?! I mean, really it was well done, but Natasha was horrible!! Plus, I'm so angry at George for leaving her alone so long, but annoyed at Angie for not trying to see him herself before that too. Okay, I know, grief does things, but I guess it's just hard to see people who fight so hard for each other during battle, not fight for each other outside of battle. I've always been someone who is forthright about my feelings and never understand when others can't. But that's me and I have to accept that :P lol That all being said, I at least like how it ended. He came back. Whew. I guess I just need to see them with a happy ending. Good job keeping me up all night, but don't worry I have off tomorrow and can sleep.
I don't know if you know, but I have a short story about george and angie too, feel free to check it out :) it's much fluffier though lol. not all the way, but I don't do drama as much as others. Good job!

Author's Response: Hello!

This chapter causes a lot of fussing! I am so sorry about that but I love writing angst and I couldn't just make everything a happy ending for anyone. Especially her. Muahahahahaha. Natasha is awful and in a way, is everything that Angelina isn't.

I never know why Angelina didn't visit George sooner but I think she was waiting for him. He explains why he didn't see her but you do get a little angry at them for being so stubborn with one another. I'm not a very blunt person but if it were someone I loved, nothing would stop me from being with them so I totally get what you're saying.

Thanks for staying up all night and the happy ending takes a minutes to happen but you'll be glad when you read it! :D


Much love,


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Review #3, by Owlpost68 It All Ends

6th November 2015:
I was so surprised that he wasn't next to her when she woke up, but it was because the battle restarted. You definitely have an amazing way for the story to continue while we learn about hers at the same time. Again, her strength from her love for him is amazing. His patronus a lion and hers a lioness was adorable. Truly, great job through these few chapters. It was obviously difficult but you showed how strong they all are and how devoted they are. Really brought out their inner Gryffindors.

Author's Response: Hello!

You know, I thought about having George next to her when she woke up but I don't know why I didn't go through with it. I have no idea where he was, actually but the battle happening the moment she wakes up was super stressful. I didn't have a lot of time for her to hesitate much.

You are the only person to notice the thing with their Patronus's before the Epilogue. I am so impressed! George's lion and her lioness is pretty much just my way of saying that they're soulmates. :3

I tried to make everyone strong in their own way and I'm glad that it worked out! ;)

Much love,


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Review #4, by Owlpost68 Hell and Back

5th November 2015:
That was such a sweet memory. The mix of emotions between the two of them and a little peak into what this group of friends are like. Really, I love this generation of Hogwarts. There was so much more going on at the time other than Harry's story. It's interesting and fun to see it from another point of view. I'm so glad that when she wakes up she won't quite be in Hell, not that losing Fred won't be hard, but a little less hard than losing George obviously. One more chapter and I'll be done for the night lol. I just have to see her know that George is ok.

Author's Response: Hello!

I don't exactly remember what I was going to put in this chapter but I'm always happy with how it turned out. Angelina's worst fear is living without George and this was just the worst possible thing for her to remember.

It was fun though, being able to show what she and the others were like before everything started going bad. I think a few people were scared that she was dead but I couldn't do something like that to her and so she wakes up, thinking that George is gone.

See you again!

Much love,


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Review #5, by Owlpost68 Memories

5th November 2015:
wow, this was so intense. I don't know how you were able to capture all the horror of war and death, and the blind adrenaline that keeps you going and fighting. One thing that strikes me most is that I didn't expect this kind of strength from her. She was able to endure anything but the thought of losing George (though we know it's Fred) is too much. The interactions with Lavender and Parvati was really good. How it had seemed like they won to have lost later on. Then the bits of cannon with Ron, Hermione and Harry, it was all really weaved together well. The dialogue still needs their own lines, but other than that, it was so detailed. The flashback was a great idea and the line Fred says about Percy joking was like a punch in the gut. I've always thought of a similar scenario actually. Also the bits about her and George were so cute and adorable. Because of that one mention of how she first started to love him, it makes me realize that's where she gets her strength. So well done.

Author's Response: Hello!

Battle scenes are what I live for and I hardly get a chance to write them lately. I honestly love the scene in DH2 when Hogwarts gets attacked and used a lot of images from that to inspire this entire chapter. The thing with the giants in particular was taken from how darn scary those things were when they were fighting the kids. Gives me shivers thinking about it.

Ihonestly don't understand how a lot of people skimp over the brutality of war when they write the Battle. People died and I'm sure it was a horrible mess but when it comes to just keeping Angelina going, I think I've heard that people near death or faced in that kind of situation get a strong burst of adrenaline.

Oh, Freddie. ;___;

I tried to add as much canon as possible and one of my favorite scenes is actually the fight with Lavender, Angelina and Parvati. I'm glad that all the other bits weaved together okay though, I really struggled with that.

i debated taking the flashback out but I like how it really shows how much Angelina really cares about George. That line that Fred says about Percy gets me a lot of fussy readers and I am so sorry. Hahahaha.

My one-shot "Instantly" is from George's POV about the first time they met if you were curious about reading it. Hahaha. If you haven't already.

I'm so happy that you liked this! ;__;

Much love,


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Review #6, by Owlpost68 Blood and Defiance

5th November 2015:
I love the idea of this story, very different than any "Post Hogwarts" story I've read. I've never seen a during battle from different POV before, and I love that it's Angelina. We get to know more about her and her group of friends, which I've always loved the idea of. Also, I haven't thought she had a thing for George in the first place, it's always been about both being heartbroken over Fred, but this makes so much more sense! Everyone else's relationships and interactions are so cute and very intimate. It's nice to see that she has a connection with both twins.
That being said, it was a little confusing to read the dialogue. There was just a little too much description in between. Also, there were times it felt you were repeating yourself more than emphasizing the feelings. I understand there's a lot of similar emotion for a lot of different people, but it might be something to look at and see if you can word things differently. It happens to me too and the more I write it out differently, the more things get brought to light that I hadn't thought of before. Just something to think about.
I'll go on and read the rest :) it's so interesting!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for stopping by and leaving all of these great reviews! We should really do a multi-chapter swap but there are only three chapters left for this story if that's okay. :D

I love writing Post-War stories and I'm curious about how other people write them. I thought that it wouldn't make much sense to write this from someone else's POV since this was Angelina's story and plus, we've read all of that before. It's great getting a different angle on things.

I wanted to make it clear that Angelina loved George way before the War ever happened. I never liked the idea of them falling in love after Fred died, a lot of people hate this pairing because of how unrealistic it is (Because apparently Angelina was supposed to marry Fred of course) and I tried to make their relationship more authentic. I did want to make this chapter more about the relationship with everyone because the actual battle doesn't happen until later. It was important to show how much they loved onea nother.

Dialogue is my enemy, I'm never very good at it and I'm going to try and improve! Sorry about the confusion! I always repeat words too and it's such a pain. Hahaha.

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,


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Review #7, by MuggleMaybe Blood and Defiance

16th October 2015:
Hi Gabby! I'm here for the swap!

This opening chapter is phenomenal! I mean... where has this story been all my life?!? I actually just wrote an Angelina/George story, and I really enjoyed writing her so I was immediately drawn to this novel. You haven't disappointed me!

I absolutely love the way you've written Angelina. She's smart and strong, but also vulnerable and compassionate. When she thinks about Harry and her memory is of his kindness, I was really touched. I think that says a lot about her.

You've also done an incredible job of showing the relationships between the different characters. Particularly the relationship between Angie and George, of course, but also with Fred, Katie, Alicia, and Oliver.

There is a lot happening around them, but the focus on Angelina's specific perspective helps eliminate some of the distractions. You also have some nice asides to keep us anchored, like the reference to Percy, and Ron talking about fangs.

Really, I just loved this so much! Thanks for a great swap!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by and sorry that this took a minute! I really loved your Georgelina too, let me know when you want to swap again! This story is pretty old but it's not really reviewed much but it's one of my favorites.

I think that Angelina is such a great character to write. I tweaked her a little bit from my original version but I wanted to show that she's not invulnerable. I think that George mentions that she's actually very sensitive and although she doesn't show it all the time, she's a real sweetheart. I think a lot of people don't pay much attention to the fact that the Gryffindor Quidditch team were friends too, I'm sure that Angelina cared about Harry even though they weren't super close.

The main thing though that I wanted to emphasize in this first chapter was love and friendship. The second chapter is all about the blood so here, I just wanted everyone to see that Angelina and her friends were very close and like family. Of course, there's that special something with her and George but I didn't want to get too caught up in that just yet.

I wanted to keep all of the events that happened in DH relevant too. Angelina is seeing things from a different perspective so she doesn't understand a lot but she sees things and it was just my way of tying it all together.

Thanks a ton for the swap!

Much love,


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Review #8, by Veritaserum27 Blood and Defiance

12th October 2015:
Hi there Gabbie!

I'm here for our review swap. I looked on your author's page, but I decided that, because of your blog post from yesterday, I'd review this one. I'm a huge George and Angelina shipper and I was actually surprised by your post that not very many people ship them too. They are an amazing couple and I agree - not explored very much in fanfic. There's so much to write about - she's a fierce, but kind woman and he's going to be so lost without his other half. It will take someone strong and brave and patient to bring him back.

I love where you started this - and I love that it's from Angelina's point of view. They are still kids, but not naive in any way and they know that there's a strong possibility that they will lose some of their friends or loved ones tonight. The girls (Alicia, Katie and Angelina) seem to be a strong, tight-knit group and I really enjoyed reading about that.

I found one typo here:

the shudders of many stores were closed,

I think you mean "shutters" not "shudders."

I like the drama you've built up between George and Angelina and you gave us just a little taste that EVERYONE knows he likes her too. I can't wait to see how dealing with the war, and its aftermath affects this couple.

Great start - and thanks for doing a swap!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and reading this story.It really means a lot and also, thank you for reading my blog from the other day! You guys were very supportive and kind.

There are a lot of people who don't like like this pairing and I think it's a shame. I love them together. Angelina is a lot more grounded and firm, which is something that I think that George would need. She wouldn't let him just go out on a whim without taking care of his responsibilities first.

I never thought about starting this from anyone else's POV for some reason. I loved being able to get into Angelina's head and because she's still a teen, I wanted to make it clear that she wasn't immature. They know the risks for what they're getting into, which is pretty much what this first chapter is about. Alicia, Katie and Angelina are very close, I wish that I had written more scenes with them but I never got around to it. I might do it in the future since I love them so much. I hope you stop by again to see what happens!

Thanks for the CC too. People keep pointing that out to me and I never go in and edit it.


I didn't want to get TOO into George/Angelina in this first chapter because the next few are going to be such a rollercoaster but it's clear that he likes her. You never really see how much until much later though but I just wanted to make it clear that the feelings were there, even when he doesn't want to bring it up.

Thanks again!

Much love,


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Review #9, by Northbound24 Blood and Defiance

6th October 2015:
Very strong opening salvo to this story. Giving in-depth characterisation to a character we see very little of in canon like Angelina Johnson could be difficult and you've managed it believably. She's still a strong young woman as she was in canon and it a way helped you because I find the stronger a person appears to be in public they are more privately nervous than their friends believe they would be.

The scene with the collective disbelief concerning Neville Longbottom being the main man beside Harry Potter was great because you truly believe that happening in canon and Neville's cameo was hysterical as he sounded so offended in it.

This was a well written piece and has hooked me already.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for actually stopping by and reading this chapter! A lot of people kind of skimp over this so I'm so happy!

I always thought that Angelina had a lot of potential as a character. I think that she's strong willed and determined but at the same time, she's very vulnerable. I think in later chapters or in another story I mentioned that she's actually quite shy. I think that her being on the pitch was a way for her to break out of her shell a little but for some reason, it wasn't hard writing her. We don't get a lot of detail about her from canon but I just kind of fell in love with her while I was originally writing this.

Hahaha, the thing with Neville is kind of funny because we all know that he turns into quite the hero!

Thank you so much!

Gabbie. :D

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Review #10, by cherry_pop94 Blood and Defiance

18th August 2015:
Hello Gabbie!

I'm here for the review you requested. I really like where you've started off this story. Right before the unspeakable evil that is Fred's death. It's really heartbreaking to read about him here all fired up and ready to go, not knowing what's to come.

There were some really good moments here. I really liked George's comment about Percy. It came across in a really serious tone, really unlike the George Weasley we know, but still, so perfect and captures his feelings about the whole ordeal very well. It's just a small detail, one line of dialogue, but to me, it really stood out.

Though I see what you mean about this chapter. It is a bit of a slow burner, but that's necessary I think for the first chapter. You've got to set things up. To be honest, Philosopher's Stone was a slow burner at the beginning too. It took me months to make it past chapter one, though I was six or maybe seven.

Anyway, I think where it sorts of bogs you down is around the middle. I sort of got caught up in a lot of dialogue around the middle, I think that slows down the overall pacing a bit. I would suggest perhaps making the first chapter a little bit shorter, condensing some of the conversations here, and really zeroing in on a few key moments.

Still, I thought this was an enjoyable read and I'll be back to read the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this great review and I'm so sorry that this response is so late, real life has been a pain.

I could never really picture writing this story after the battle was over. I tried to show what would happen before the blood was spilled and sadly, we all know what happens to Fred.

I think that George is a pretty mature guy, we just never really saw any sign of it in the HP books. I've written him before so I was able to get into his head more so I'm glad that he came across as a bit more serious. If you kept reading, you'd see that there's a whole other side to this prankster. :D

I mean, I tried to build up to the actual Battle. I was trying to get people invested in the characters and whatnot because the next three or four chapters are pure bloodshed and tears. I mean, I made people cry and everything but I know what you mean. It would be nice if people came back for more though. ;__;


Thanks for the review!

Much love,


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Review #11, by Shinicha Memories

5th August 2015:
Hi! I'm here for the review swap - sorry I took so long!

First of all, you really managed to surprise me. When I read the synopsis, I imagined the story to start after the war - but you plunged right into the last scene. I have big respect for you doing this; I imagine it to be incredibly difficult to think of everything that the book describes and fit it a story of your own.

With this you did a really good job - in all this time that we follow Harry running around the castle, others are fighting. The horror of the war - especially in the second chapter - are crazily well decribed. It really made me shiver. You used a richness of words to convey the huge things happening around Angelina and in her mind too. Even more than in the original can we feel what it would mean to be in the middle of death happening!

The flashback of Angelina's childhood was also very well written and you fleshed out the different characters of George and Fred very well and gave Alicia a very shining personality that I immediately took to (although I felt that you were very harsh with Percy :D haha)

In between there are the love stories woven in. I honestly thought it was very interesting to have such a daring teenie-action mix. Mostly, I liked how you wrote it, although I can't help but think the discussions about love confessions would maybe not take place in a setting like this. But who knows?

The only things that I thought could be improved were, on one hand,
- punctuation (many sentences are too long and commas would ease the read immensely; also the usage of punctuation marks before and after direct speech is somewhat irregular)

- and on the other hand the introduction of canon characters. I feel here you rely too much on "the Trio" to explain how Angelina would know them or think about them. For example, it is very easy to imagine that Angelina knows Eloise without mentioning Hermione!

Other than that I think your story is really gripping and well written. I noticed some smaller mistakes that you might want to change:

Chapter 1:
* "Angelina nodded in understanding before pulling playfully on the hood of her cloak, knowing that on any other day, she would have hated hiding her blonde hair." - in this sentence it is not clear that "her" referrs to Alicia, so I got confused when suddenly blonde hair was mentioned!

*"Angelina walked a ways with Alicia in the warm night air, she had lit the fireplace earlier for something to do and to warm her cold hands." This part of the sentence doesn't very well connect to its beginning; also I don't really understand the reference to the fireplace?

*"Only, Harry doesn't want us to fight for him, he wants to handle this on his own, but we can't do that, we can't let him win.” Neville said fiercely." - here, it reads as if "him" refers to Harry, so maybe you could say "Voldemort" (don't know if Neville uses the name at the end) or any other name to clarify.

Chapter 2:
"The Quidditch supply room had been broken into only a few minutes before and she was surprised by just how heavy it was" - this usage of passive made me wonder who broke in (it was her and Angelina right?), and also "how heavy IT was" grammatically would mean the supply room, so the box should be mentioned again!

- “are you sure that they'll know what to do?”
“Of course. Until I tell them to,” ... - Written like this it would mean that the Bludgers know what to do up to the point where she tells them to (what?) - so I think it would make more sense to change "until" to "When"

*"undiluted Bubotuber puss that they were going to lug it over the walls." - pus (one s), and the "it" is not needed :)

*"darted away into the fray before Angelina could determine that he was all right - "whether he was alright"

- In the memory of first year, Katie Bell is mentioned, however I think she is one year younger than Alicia and Angelina!

*"but it was only when they were going to their separate dorms did she realize why" - "that she realized" would be correct

*"Percy and Clearwater, the two happy little Prefects" - I got a bit confused as the two weren't actually Prefects at that time. Is it meant that they behave like ones? Maybe another word would be better!

* "Its been a really good day" - change to "It's"

* "she realized that she was still disoriented and thought that they were still outside of their dorms, back in first year." - this part is kind of a contradiction of how you started the paragraph! Because you first wrote that she isn't surprised at all to find herself in the middle of the war.

*"The sight was more devastating than a lie" I think this is meant as an allegory, but it seems a bit random to me as I unvoluntarily thought it referred to a specific lie ("did I miss something??")

I hope it's okay to point these things out!


Author's Response: HELLO!

Thank you a thousand times for this review and stopping by! I'm sorry that I'm just now responding to it though. D':

I think a few people have commented on the fact that I didn't start this story after the War was over. This is pretty short but the first four chapters actually focus on the Battle of Hogwarts. The remaining chapters focus on the aftermath of it (That's actually the name of my favorite chapter in this entire story) and I thought that it was a good balance.

I made sure that I did my research while I was writing the Battle. I didn't want to focus on Harry and his friends because we already KNOW what they're going through. It was easier for me to shape what Angelina was seeing around other events that you all would recognize, forcing her to be in the middle of everything that she couldn't stop. It was a kind of exhausting writing so much angst though but your reaction to it was just what I needed! I wanted you all to feel every single thing and one person left me a review a long time ago saying that she nearly tasted the blood in the air. Now THAT was a compliment that made me feel so amazed and even a little scared by!

I really liked the flashback because not only do you get a sense of what Angelina's relationship with George will be like in the future, you get a good idea of who he is without Fred. That was essential. I shall not apologize about making Percy into a git, although I do love him more than any other Weasley sometimes.

Punctuation is not my strongest suit.

The thing about Angelina being introduced to canon characters through the Trio is simply to show that she was everywhere and nowhere. I wanted to give you all the idea that she didn't really hang around the twins and the others ALL the time. I'm sure that she talked to Hermione and the others a little here and there too but there's also this thing that I wanted to play around with. You know who these people are already but to someone like Angelina, who doesn't have the closest relationship to them, seeing those same people dead or in danger just creates a whole different emotion.

Or something like that.

THe CC's that you pointed out are the same ones that get me every time. It's weird how that happens AFTER the chapter is posted, right? Hahahaha.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #12, by AdinaPuff Blood and Defiance

6th June 2015:
Review swap!

Wow. This just gave me every feel in the book. Now I want to read and write everything Fred/Angelina/George you can possibly imagine. Oh my gosh. I loved this!

War fics are the best when they're through the eyes of a minor character. I love seeing the other perspectives, the different situations and conflicts that occurred during the war that didn't revolve around Harry. I love reading fics about these guys, and I particularly look for Oliver fics, but now I want to read every Angelina I can find. You did a great job showing the closeness of these friends, how the war was making them realize things and act upon feelings they normally wouldn't. Poor Angelina, these feelings for George. She doesn't want to say anything but she does. Oh, the feels.

I love how this follows along with what happens in the books. You keep in canon as you approach another's perspective, and I love that. Everything that happens pre-war fits. I also love the bit about them being surprised that Neville's in charge of a lot. He's definitely changed :p Aberforth was written well too :D

And oh, oh, my heart just shattered. Their promise! FRED PROMISED TO COME BACK! It's so sad that he doesn't. Poor Angelina. Poor George. Poor Fred. Oh, this war...

I loved this! I'll be reading on! :D

- Leigh xx

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thank you so much for the lovely review and stopping by to read this story! It means a lot, I was unsure if anyone would be able to get into it. ;__;

Well, I have This is Angelina completed so you can read the remainder of this story anytime you like! Hahah. I'm going through an editing process for "Memories" though and my one-shot, "Again" features Georgie if you haven't read that already. :D

Anyhoo, I really LOVE writing from minor character's POV and I agree that we don't see them much. We never see what they felt or experienced during the battle and I just had to do something different for this, especially since this is Angelina's story.

The stress of the moment is pushing people to do things that they normally wouldn't do or say. It's scary and freeing at the same time and I'm glad that you were able to see how close the friendships were. Angelina will regret not saying anything to George when the time comes. ;__;

I tried to stay as much with canon as I could and I actually had DH on my lap while I was typing. I didn't want to stray too far from it so I'm glad that you enjoyed how Neville was portrayed. I was always a little nervous about Aberforth though...

That promise! Oh, the feels...I'm really sorry for that. >:D

It only gets worse as you go.


Thanks again!

Much love,


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Review #13, by pointless_proclamations Blood and Defiance

3rd June 2015:

In the first paragraph, we see Angelina and Alicia's Gryffindor qualities right away: they're loyal to Hogwarts and brave enough to sneak back in. From the way these two talk, the dialogue that you've written, it is evident that these two ladies really care for each other—almost like sisters, actually. They're so adorable!

I think you've set the mood of the story wonderfully. There is a sense of a constant looming darkness that makes hearts heavy and eyes more wide and alert.

The fight scene was properly tense. It's always really interesting to see Hogwarts through the eyes of someone outside of the golden trio. They're experiencing different but similar things in different ways with different people and I think you do really well in exploring that.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team especially seems like an actual family, what with Fred and George adopting Lee almost to make a triplet and this beautiful dynamic between Alicia, Angelina, Oliver, and Katie. What amazes me most about your writing is the interpersonal connections between the characters. You don't have to say that they're close explicitly, and you don't, but from the way you've written them, you know that they are as good as family.

I held my breath there when they were expressing their astonishment over Neville because of what they think of him. Thinking back to the novels, this is a reasonable reaction.

"I hate thinking, I try to leave that all to Percy" Bahaha!! Gabby!! Your sense of humour is brilliant. Oh! We have two ships here already! Geroge/Angelina and Katie/Oliver. They're amazing and you make my heart almost melt for them, Gabby! War makes the perfect catalyst for confessions of love, don't you think?

Wow you know how to write a scene that just rushes! The moment before the battle, you wrote it starting slowly, then slowly increasing in pace and it was magnificent!

Thank you so much for the swap! I cannot wait to continue on reading this story!!

Em ♥

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks a bunch for stopping by! This is one of my favorite stories that I've written and it's been awhile since anyone has stopped by. ;__;

I think that I wanted to show Angie and Alicia being brave right from the beginning, since so much of their actions relied on their courage. The girls have known each other for years so I wanted their conversation to feel natural and the sisterly vibe you get is exactly what I intended. :D

The constant feeling of doom hovering over their heads was intentional as well. A few people didn't like this first chapter and said that it was boring and didn't have much action but I didn't want to start the battle off right away. We never get to see how the other characters were dealing with the upcoming fight and I wanted to at least hint at how they were feeling here.

Strangely, I couldn't imagine the Gryffindor Quidditch team any other way. I imagine that they didn't just spend their time together on the pitch and their bond actually plays a crucial point later on in this story. They're very close and so what happens to George, Angelina and the others is important for them to hold onto that bond. At least, that was what I was going for. Hahaha.

Oh, Neville...I adore him. :D

Hahah, I try to add a little humor into my stories. If I wrote a story that was filled to the brim with angst, you guys would never forgive me! And I'll take all the laughter I can get right now, to be honest...especially when the next three chapters have made people cry in the past. You have been warned.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I really appreciate it! ;___;

Much love,


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Review #14, by Ribbons Blood and Defiance

17th September 2014:

So, recently I've been noticing a lot of things OTHER than plot and characterization, and this review will reflect that. I'm mostly going to be zeroing in on your actual writing (sentence structure, flow etc.). For that, I apologize. If you would like me to review you on the plot and characters, I will definitely do that in another chapter. Just ask.

First of all, sentences.

My dear friend, sentences are a difficult thing, because they're always so determined to be the same. It's so easy to fall into the hole of doing the same sentence, the same structure and the same rhythm over and over and over again.

Sometimes, they have to be short and snappy.


Do you see all that space? Did you notice how that bam really solidified and anchored the sentences before it? Rambling is so easy to do, and I find that a great way to break the habit and nail down that rambling is varying your sentences. 7

Readers WANT to be fed the stuff they read. They can't help it. If stuff starts to get boring, my eyes wander, I tend to skip. But what there's super important plot info in that chunky paragraph I just skimmed? Characterization? Hidden messages and foreshadowing? What you need to do is set it up in such a way that the reader reads that stuff without being bored, and therefore picks up a LOT more of your story.

It's actually quite simple.

Put in different sentence lengths to keep them awake and interested, don't overuse certain bits of punctuation, make important things that you're trying to say INTERESTING, or at least hide them between layers of simple, alluring text like quotation marks. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, right?

If that made any sense, then bravo. You're one smart cookie. If it didn't, don't worry about it because I'm a bit crazy.

The important thing is that you have a good story to tell here, you just have to set it up so that everyone will be drawn in, hooked and willing to give you a chance to tell this tale.

That all starts with the sentences.

If you can get that important element down, you will be on the road to success. First you have to get them to COME to your booth, then you can try and sell them your goods.

I hope this was helpful.

Much, much, much love,


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with your review, I'm glad that you finally made it but I'm going to be honest here and say that this didn't really come off as helpful to me at all. I'm not sure if it was the way that you worded your sentences or not but it this review kind of came off as more sarcastic to me more than anything else. I wasn't grateful to receive this review and I can take constructive criticism just fine but I think that your tone sort of rubbed me the wrong way. I can understand from this review that you didn't like the chapter and probably not the story and the bits of compliments that I managed to find (Not that I expect them from all of my stories, mind you) felt kind of obligatory. It sort of read off to me as, "Well, this was really bad but at least you tried." And I think that I would have appreciated that a lot more than whatever you were trying to say.

I feel like you kind of struggled to even get this review done and I sort of feel like you might have been better off if you had just skipped it? I'm glad that you read it and was kind enough to leave a review but it didn't really come off that way to me. Uhm, I guess I can hope for you to find better stories elsewhere? Or at least find a story that you don't find so boring and uninteresting.


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Review #15, by TidalDragon Blood and Defiance

8th September 2014:
Howdy! I've not disappeared after all!

Well...this story seems to be in a far different style than the others I've reviewed for you. For starters it's much more literal. I can't decide whether that was deliberate or not, but I think it came across as a bit more mechanical than your other pieces as a result.

The biggest thing that shocked me about this piece was how much dialogue there is in it. I get it in the build-up, but we're talking about the Battle of Hogwarts and Angelina, Alicia & company being relatively late arrivals (who encounter and fell a Death Eater before even making it inside), and they spend loads of time talking. Including romantic gossip about guys. It's certainly a different perspective on the battle, I grant you that, but I didn't get as much authenticity out of the scenes or characters as a result.

I was pleased with the way you handled most of Angelina's emotions throughout though. She has a realistic on-again-off-again fear/bravado tandem going which was nice. I also thought your discussion of Fred vs. George (while it felt like a bit of a forced insertion) to be welcome in its novelty. Most people take the approach of them coming together through their grief, so it was nice for you to eschew that here.

I only noticed one typo: "the shudders of many stores". I think you meant "shutters" :P

Your quest to have me review your collected works draws ever nearer to completion! Hope you found this one helpful. As always, feel free to PM or re-request.

Author's Response: Hello!

I was wondering when you were going to be stopping by, I'd just about gave up that you'd been taken back to your home world! Its good to see you again, as always. :)

This is the second fanfic that I ever wrote and also the first one that I'm going back and revising so I'm certain that it doesn't necessarily have that same "feel" that you're talking about. To be honest, I always hope that none of my stories have the same general emotion so this sort of makes me happy but then again, whenever you start off your reviews with "Well..." I know I'm in for a dissatisfied review. Hahahhaha.

I started this story with a much more literal feeling on purpose, I didn't want to drag on about what was going to happen. I hadn't thought of actually pacing this a lot slower because when I was reading DH I got this feeling that time was just running out, which is something that I'd wanted to try hear.

Well, you fuss at me a lot for dragging on and on so I'm surprised that you were surprised by how much dialogue there was! dare you! Hahaha. This chapter is mostly just setting things up here and I personally liked it so your words mean nothing human! All joking aside, I wanted to really play on what was important at that moment because there was the possibility that someone or something could be taken away. Hence all the girls talking about love and the ones they fancy so often--I'm not exactly subtle either about the people that might die so there you go. :p Actually, most of the people that are mentioned in that scene end up killed or injured.

I'm just evil that way.

Anyhoo, Angelina is the sort of person that tries not to show her fear but I had to think about how the situation would really bother her. If I'd been in her position, I would have been scared beyond belief but I think I wrote her decently enough.

Eh, I never liked the thought of George and Angie coming together through grief. Why is it so hard to imagine that they may have already been in love with each other? That just boggles my mind...

I have taken note of the "Shutters" Haha.

Well...I have two more stories that you haven't tried yet and I just know that you're not going to like them. *Sigh* That isn't going to stop me from requesting though and I'll probably just stick with "Transparent" for you, you fuss at me a lot with that story but you seem to like it all right. Hahaha.

Thanks again, you're always a treat!

Much love,


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Review #16, by Roisin Blood and Defiance

8th September 2014:

I'm sorry it took me a while to get to this, I had a challenge to wrap up, and much RL work. But I'm glad I'm finally here!

I definitely really liked all of the characters. Angelina was fantastic, and you did a wonderful job with the twins. And I was consistently impressed by how you so seamlessly wove in the canon.

I also loved that you managed to bring levity and comedy and romance into such an otherwise tense chapter. Angelina and Fred drinking Firewhiskey and harassing Percy was brilliant! Also, that everyone is battling with whether or not to confess their loves was great--they were all so young to be fighting! It was such a nice thing to add!

The tone of this chapter was also great--it was so tense and electric, and the perfect way to build up to the battle. The very last lines were masterful in the same sense. There's so much anxiety, excitement, uncertainty. You wrote them all psyching themselves up so well!

My only suggestion is that some of the dialog is embedded in other sentences, and I felt like it should have been set off into its own sentence. And at one point you referred to window "shudders." "Shutters," I think? But that was it :)

Great job with this! I always really liked Angelina's character, and I think your take on her was just flawless!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for stopping by and no worries about being a little late considering that I usually am with you!Hahahaha.

This story is going through a revision so I'm glad that you liked Angelina, I thought that I hadn't made her relatable enough in the original. Phew! The twins are hard to write, though! It took a long time to get them just right. I read the Deathly Hallows at least three times while I was writing this entire story so I'm glad that you liked the canon bits, I wanted to make it feel as real as possible.

Comedy and Angst are two things that belong together. Hahaaha. I think that you can write a story with just angst just fine but you have to give your readers a break every now and then or else they'll expire. Trust me, you'll thank me for the bits of humor that I added in this story if you continue on. Hahahah. Bring tissues, you'll need them.

Also, the confessions of love were just painful for me to write but also important. You're not at all certain if you'll make it out and making that important connection can make a big difference in the long run!

Those last lines always make people upset in some sense. The tears begin and never quite stop until after the fourth chapter, I'm glad that you liked them so much! They're my favorite as well!

Thanks for pointing out those problems, I always spot them AFTER the story is updated, which is a major pain. >:(

Thank you so much for the review!

Much love,


P.S.: This has nothing at all to do with this particular story but if you read "This is Audrey Tang" again, try listening to The Weeknd's "Wicked Games" while you do and let me know what you think. It fits Percy so well.

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Review #17, by mymischiefmanaged Memories

22nd July 2014:
Again, this is brilliantly written. I have so much I want to say and I'm sure I won't remember to put all of it in this review so I'll try to start from the beginning.

I love the creativity of enchanting the bludgers. It so fits in with Angelina's crazy Quidditch obsession when she was Captain and I'm sure it would be a very effective attack. Also the bubotuber puss is a good idea. It's very believable that the students would use things they could find around the school to fight in the same way that Trelawney uses her crystal balls so kudos for that.

Angelina's anger shows a new side to her that I'm sure would come out of lots of people in war. It's interesting to see her blinded by how cross she is and really trying to hurt people rather than just protect herself and others, but I like that you've explored this side of her.

I really like the series of different people you have Angie fighting beside, showing how strong alliances and friendships become in wartime. It's something that provides contrast with the death eaters as well, this willingness to work together rather than work for personal glory.

The flashback to first year was sweet as well. I like how Fred and George's mischief was much less sophisticated but their enthusiasm was exactly the same. The only thing you might want to change is that you have Katie Bell there with them at the feast. She's the year below so wouldn't have been at Hogwarts yet. It's only a small point though and doesn't interfere with the rest of the narrative.

This sentence: 'a horror unlike anything she had ever seen broke over her and her mind, her soul, burst into flame and agonising pain' - just, well, I'm not sure what I can say to comment on it but it's wonderful.

The only other thing is that you have Alicia saying her and Seamus will be fine, where last chapter I thought she was interested in Lee? I know she said she had a boyfriend but it doesn't quite seem to fit together. If she liked Lee you'd think her thoughts would turn to him when she's about to risk her life rather than to Seamus. It's just a tiny thing that could maybe do with being clarified.

Anyway, I really loved this chapter. It's beautifully written and I'm loving Angelina more and more as I read on.

Emma x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again! Angelina's thing of enchanting the Bludgers was such a random idea in my mind and I never thought it would come across well at the time. Hahah. Violence and Quidditch work very well together! I think the students had to work together with Hogwarts and there wasn't a lot of time to really get them prepared before the Death Eater's arrived so I think it worked out better than they thought.

Angelina's fear had dissolved into rage by this point and I think it shows how different a person can become after they've encountered such trauma. She's not looking for glory, she's just trying to do what's right and that's something I wanted every character to feel at that moment.

You see more flashbacks! I loved writing them! Young Fred and George were fun to put together, their pranks matured over time and I really liked that you enjoyed that.

Oh, the thing about Katie is that at the time I had NO idea that she was a year younger than my main group but after I figured it out, I never went back to change it. Hahah.

That sentence you quoted is my favorite too! It makes me want to cry...

I did some recent editing of the first chapter, this story is going through a reboot so that's why you might have gotten a bit confused by what Alicia was saying. I hadn't made it quite so obvious that she liked Lee in my original draft so I'm going to have to go in and change that bit so there's not a lot of confusion later on.

Thanks so much for reading! Hope to see you soon!

Much love,


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Review #18, by mymischiefmanaged Blood and Defiance

22nd July 2014:
Hey Gabbie,

I really loved this chapter (as much as I can love something that I know is going to make me cry). I really enjoy stories where Angelina has been with Fred and her and George find eachother in their grief, but it's also hard to reconcile that with who George is in the books. I like that here you've made George the one for Angie from the start and not taken Fred asking her to the ball too seriously. I wish she'd told him how she feels but I can see how that would be frightening.

You've really shown the true horror of war with Angelina's protecting her parents despite the fact that they're both wizards and would be able to fight. Her bravery in leaving for the battle while trying to keep her parents safe is really touching and says a lot about her character. Likewise Alicia's determination to fight when she clearly doesn't want to demonstrates how awful everything really is.

I like Katie and Oliver. You know I put them together in my story so I definitely support them here, and Katie running to tell him her feelings is sweet. I'd love to hear what he had to say but I'm guessing we won't get that in this story (maybe a one shot? just an idea...).

A big part of me is reluctant to read on because I know what's going to have to happen, but I'm also looking forward to the next chapter. You're writing Angelina really well and I'm happy to have found this story.

Emma x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by, this story hasn't been reviewed in almost two years so this means a lot to me! :)

I have read a lot of George/Angelina where they use Angelina's previous love for Fred as a basis for their relationship but I didn't want to go in that direction. I thought that twisting it up and having them already loving each other, even if they never said it, would work better. Angelina is scared that George only sees her as a friend and plus, she didn't want to tell him right before the battle. I think I would have but she was probably thinking of what would work best for him.

Angelina is the sort of person who doesn't like to fight and she would do anything to protect the people she loves. She would rather have her parents on the sidelines than risk them being injured in any way and Alicia's determination to fight shows how much things have changed. You really have to buckle down and do what you have to do or you'll miss your chance.

I LOVE Katie and Oliver. I was thinking of making a companion one-shot for this story and I've oddly enough never gotten around to it so its still an option! Oliver liked Katie but I wonder what he said to her too? Hahah.

I'm glad that you enjoyed this first chapter and I hope you continue on! You might want to bring tissues...

Much love,


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Review #19, by BookDinosaur Blood and Defiance

28th June 2013:
Hey Gabbie! It's -BookDinosaur- here with your review request! Sorry it took so long! :(

So anyway. The first thing I want to say is that I loved your characterisation of Angie. She's portrayed as such a strong, caring person, I really loved her here. I've always liked Angie, but there are very few stories about her, and even less from her POV, so I was really happy to find out that this story was not only focusing on her, but narrated by her as well. :)

Okay, so I also felt that the twins were slightly mellowed down here, as if they're showing their softer side to Angie, and I really liked that little detail. I don't know why, but I did.

I liked the relationship between George and Angelina as well, it was sweet and there but didn't take too much centre stage, which I enjoyed because when relationships are too focused on even when the story is about something else, it just detracts from the story. They both like each other but are too afraid to show it. Please say that the kiss at the end as from George?

That comment about Fred being fine hit me right in the feels, it really did. We know he's not going to be fine, but he says "see you then" and we know he's not going to... That was just heartbreaking for me. It was a really strong way to end the chapter, so well done there.

I think my CC for you would be to develop your minor chracters a bit more - they all seem a bit bland at the moment - and your long sentences. I'm not saying cut all your sentences in half, but in this story it was the norm to see sentences three lines long, and they sounded a bit too run-on, if you know what I mean.

Other than those small issues, this was a great story that I really enjoyed reading. :)

Author's Response: HellO!

I just answered your message on the forums too but am just now getting to answering your review. Seems sort of backwards...
Anyway, thanks for stopping by with this lovely review, it made my day! :)
I don't understand why there aren't alot of stories with Angelina on teh archives, I think its a real shame. She's the sort of character that I think is just great to write, she's strong and passionate and she's got a great sense of humor.
I hadn't thought of having anyone else narrate this story aside from her either, I think her voice was too powerful to switch away from so I kept it the same. After all, the story is called "This is Angelina," heheheheh.
Everyone has commented on the twins being a little mellowed down here but I think when I first wrote them I wasn't too good at how I wanted the twins. But considering that the battle is about to begin, I think the pair of them being a bit lighter is a better contrast.
George and Angie's relationship is hinted at a little in this first chapter! I didn't want to put too much detail into it because there was no time and like you said, it would distract readers from the real issue later on.
Oh, it was George that kissed her, I'm not going to play with your emotions! Hahahaha.
That last little bit with Fred just...oh, the feels! You have no idea how much i just sobbed writing this scene and the eventual death scene with him. I sobbed for an hour or more! D':
I haven't edited this story since I posted it up but I know the mistakes you're talking about. I'll most likely update the edited version sometime down the line when I'm not too busy but until then I've got other stories and I'm really lazy. Hahahah.
But thanks for reading! Come back whenever and I'll most likely re-request!
Much love,

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Review #20, by soapman333 Aftermath

24th February 2013:
You made me cry! No joke, I cried!! Some fairy is going to rush in and take my man-card away, I just know it.

Freak it was so sad! I just wanted to give Angelina a big hug :(.

Oh and I like how she has tremors in her hand, it makes the trauma of the war more believable :)

I'm going to watch some intense action flicks after this, geez. I feel all girly right now,


Author's Response: Hello!

*Snatches man-card and burns it* Oh, god, I've sunk to a new low, I've made MEN cry now! Should that make me happy? I'm not sure but I'm grinning and laughing at your pain...
This chapter was really sad but its my fault, I love angst. :D
Oh, yeah, I had to add in that there was something wrong with her after the War. Then again, all the characters have their issues and I'm glad that it was believable. :D
Watch Taken with Liam Neeson, you can get your man-card's ashes back if you do. :D
Much love,

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Review #21, by soapman333 It All Ends

24th February 2013:
Gah, this chapter was sad.

The pink bra and panties? Priceless.

Sorry that this review is so short, I just want to keep reading :P


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and I'm very sorry that this chapter was so sad, it actually took me a while to write. I suppose you didn't want to cry even more because you skipped the third chapter! Bwhahahha. Or did you? I actually mention bras and panties more often than I should...
In like, all of my stories.
Pitiful. HAHAHAH.
Anyhoo, thanks for coming back!
Much love,

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Review #22, by soapman333 Memories

24th February 2013:
This is no "girly" novel, well, it is, but come on! So much violence, action, suspense, and, well, blood!

This is definitely a war.


Author's Response: HellO!

Hahaha, I have never seen all that in just one sentence! Hahaha. Hey there, Jack! I will admit that I love alot of action and blood and where else to throw all of this together than in the Battle of Hogwarts? I mean, honestly, how can you not read a story with all that stuff thrown in together?! And plus, it was more fun for me to write. :D
And why its rated "Mature" hahahahaha.
Thanks for reading again! So soon, I might add!
Much love,

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Review #23, by soapman333 Blood and Defiance

24th February 2013:
Wow, I'm completely invested in this story already.

Hmmm, I don't really anything else to say besides: Angelina just made my "date" list, even though I know she'll get together with one of the twins.

Onto the next chapter!
soapman333 (Jack)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, welcome back! Hahaha. This honestly wouldn't have been the story I thought you would have personally attacked but thanks! :D
Its my second-ever fanfic!
Bwhahaha, Angelina is on my fantasy list too but I'm much too in love with George to give him up. :D
Thanks for reading, hope to see you back!
Much love,

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Review #24, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing It All Ends

16th February 2013:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review!

Please keep requesting all your stories by the way, I try and get round to them when I can but I usually try and do the requested ones first. If you request though I can fill them out without feeling guilty about the others I should be doing! You don't bug me at all - I love reading these stories!

I loved the start of this story with Angelina waking back up in the middle of the fighting. Her Alicia and Katie have a really strong bond and I really liked the way you showed that at the beginning.

Again, you showed how strong Angelina is, she's in the middle of her worst nightmare, she thinks the love of her life is dead and she continually keeps going and surviving. She must pretty much be running on adrenaline at this point. It's a wonder she can produce the patronus but it was nice that it was the thoughts of George that did that.

Then when George saves her and she just holds on to him and then saves him right back. Even though I'm still guttered about Fred I really loved this bit and think it works well for the two of them. I know it must be hard for her to watch George murder someone but in the situation their in I hope she doesn't let it get in the way of anything.

Oh god the ending. It absolutely broke my heart. Poor George! I think you got this section perfectly. Not many words but George just breaking down at losing his twin. Yeah - I'll just go fetch the tissues!

Amazing chapter as always, you write this story so well!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I shall keep on requesting my stories for you then since you can get to them any time you like! :)
I had went through alot of different ideas for this chapter and this entire story but settled on this one. I wanted the battle to be going out of control and Angelina waking up in the middle of it was just my way of saying that everything was about to either go right or go wrong. She, Alicia and Katie are like sisters, I think with them fighting together the way they did really showed that. :)
I tried to keep Angelina going by pushing and pushing her. She's the sort of girl that never givese up and is too stubborn to allow herself any amount of weakness. Its pretty true that she was running on nothing but adrenaline though, she was too far gone emotionally to really know what she was doing.
I think it took all of her power to conjure that patronus but George gave her what she needed. :)
Ah, that moment with the two of them is actually my favorite. I loved writing it and despite everything being so dark around them, there was that love between them. :D
Oh, the feels!
Thank you for picking up on the fact that Angelina watched him kill someone! That issue actually comes up later on, but there are going to be so many things between them by that point that it won't be the first thing they fight about.
I mean, talk about. >:D
That ending always makes people sad! Hahaha. I actually couldn't come up with any words for this last section, I just sort of relied on their actions. George breaking down over Fred was enough though and I'm so glad that you liked this! :D
Thank you so much! *Blush*
Much love,

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Review #25, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Hell and Back

12th February 2013:
Hello again :)

This chapter was really great. It starts off so dark of course but then has a happier tone to it, even though I know she's remembering all this because she's sad about George, it still was nice to read the memories.

I thought the relationship between Angie/George was really cute in the past. Although, that boy is confusing. Can't he just say whether he likes her as a sister or as a potential girlfriend? He was making my head spin as much as he was Angelina's. They obviously care deeply for each other though. I did enjoy George's jealousy that Fred kissed her first. They are really sweet together.

You've kept the twins really different in this, and there isn't so much banter between them but I think for the story it does work.

So poor Angie, coming back to the real world again. This chapter was a nice break from the fighting though, it was lovely to see them when they were at school! I look forward to reading more soon!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, lovely, thanks for coming back with this review! Can my ego survive it?!
Anyway, this is a really light chapter compared to the first two and I think I wanted to do that on purpose. After all, memories of George aren't really all that dark, they're really special for Angelina and she thinks that he's dead so it adds an extra kick.
I dunno.
I loved writing this entire scene with George and Angie, its great to see them younger and during a much nicer time. Though, do OWLs really count as nice? Hhaha.
But anyway, yes. George is sooo confusing and I think that was the foreshadowing for the later bits in this story. He can't just say what's on his mind because he over thinks and goes all weird once he gets an idea in his head.
Which, of course, has Angelina calling him "Georgia" cause he acts like a girl. HAHAH.
I think the fact that they care about each other so much really makes it fun to see, as they won't admit to how they feel. Angelina would if she knew how George felt but.he's not going to give any hints of that. -_-
George does not like it that Fred kissed her first! But why should he care, hm? Heheheh.
Oh, yeah, I've gotten comments about my twins. I didn't really want to focus so much on them being together all the time like that, I sort of wanted this to be with just George and Angelina. Fred and George's relationship is loving of course but I didn't go in the direction of them being extremely close like some fanfics. It just didn't work that way for this story. Hm.
Yep, Angelina's coming back into the real world and all the fighting is coming back! Beware! Hehehehe.
I shall re-request then!
Thanks for coming back!
Much love,

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