Reading Reviews for This is Angelina
  
69 Reviews Found

Review #1, by cherry_pop94 Blood and Defiance

18th August 2015:
Hello Gabbie!

I'm here for the review you requested. I really like where you've started off this story. Right before the unspeakable evil that is Fred's death. It's really heartbreaking to read about him here all fired up and ready to go, not knowing what's to come.

There were some really good moments here. I really liked George's comment about Percy. It came across in a really serious tone, really unlike the George Weasley we know, but still, so perfect and captures his feelings about the whole ordeal very well. It's just a small detail, one line of dialogue, but to me, it really stood out.

Though I see what you mean about this chapter. It is a bit of a slow burner, but that's necessary I think for the first chapter. You've got to set things up. To be honest, Philosopher's Stone was a slow burner at the beginning too. It took me months to make it past chapter one, though I was six or maybe seven.

Anyway, I think where it sorts of bogs you down is around the middle. I sort of got caught up in a lot of dialogue around the middle, I think that slows down the overall pacing a bit. I would suggest perhaps making the first chapter a little bit shorter, condensing some of the conversations here, and really zeroing in on a few key moments.

Still, I thought this was an enjoyable read and I'll be back to read the next chapter!

Stefanie

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Review #2, by Shinicha Memories

5th August 2015:
Hi! I'm here for the review swap - sorry I took so long!

First of all, you really managed to surprise me. When I read the synopsis, I imagined the story to start after the war - but you plunged right into the last scene. I have big respect for you doing this; I imagine it to be incredibly difficult to think of everything that the book describes and fit it a story of your own.

With this you did a really good job - in all this time that we follow Harry running around the castle, others are fighting. The horror of the war - especially in the second chapter - are crazily well decribed. It really made me shiver. You used a richness of words to convey the huge things happening around Angelina and in her mind too. Even more than in the original can we feel what it would mean to be in the middle of death happening!

The flashback of Angelina's childhood was also very well written and you fleshed out the different characters of George and Fred very well and gave Alicia a very shining personality that I immediately took to (although I felt that you were very harsh with Percy :D haha)

In between there are the love stories woven in. I honestly thought it was very interesting to have such a daring teenie-action mix. Mostly, I liked how you wrote it, although I can't help but think the discussions about love confessions would maybe not take place in a setting like this. But who knows?

The only things that I thought could be improved were, on one hand,
- punctuation (many sentences are too long and commas would ease the read immensely; also the usage of punctuation marks before and after direct speech is somewhat irregular)

- and on the other hand the introduction of canon characters. I feel here you rely too much on "the Trio" to explain how Angelina would know them or think about them. For example, it is very easy to imagine that Angelina knows Eloise without mentioning Hermione!

Other than that I think your story is really gripping and well written. I noticed some smaller mistakes that you might want to change:

Chapter 1:
* "Angelina nodded in understanding before pulling playfully on the hood of her cloak, knowing that on any other day, she would have hated hiding her blonde hair." - in this sentence it is not clear that "her" referrs to Alicia, so I got confused when suddenly blonde hair was mentioned!


*"Angelina walked a ways with Alicia in the warm night air, she had lit the fireplace earlier for something to do and to warm her cold hands." This part of the sentence doesn't very well connect to its beginning; also I don't really understand the reference to the fireplace?

*"Only, Harry doesn't want us to fight for him, he wants to handle this on his own, but we can't do that, we can't let him win.” Neville said fiercely." - here, it reads as if "him" refers to Harry, so maybe you could say "Voldemort" (don't know if Neville uses the name at the end) or any other name to clarify.

Chapter 2:
"The Quidditch supply room had been broken into only a few minutes before and she was surprised by just how heavy it was" - this usage of passive made me wonder who broke in (it was her and Angelina right?), and also "how heavy IT was" grammatically would mean the supply room, so the box should be mentioned again!

- “are you sure that they'll know what to do?”
“Of course. Until I tell them to,” ... - Written like this it would mean that the Bludgers know what to do up to the point where she tells them to (what?) - so I think it would make more sense to change "until" to "When"

*"undiluted Bubotuber puss that they were going to lug it over the walls." - pus (one s), and the "it" is not needed :)

*"darted away into the fray before Angelina could determine that he was all right - "whether he was alright"

- In the memory of first year, Katie Bell is mentioned, however I think she is one year younger than Alicia and Angelina!

*"but it was only when they were going to their separate dorms did she realize why" - "that she realized" would be correct

*"Percy and Clearwater, the two happy little Prefects" - I got a bit confused as the two weren't actually Prefects at that time. Is it meant that they behave like ones? Maybe another word would be better!

* "Its been a really good day" - change to "It's"

* "she realized that she was still disoriented and thought that they were still outside of their dorms, back in first year." - this part is kind of a contradiction of how you started the paragraph! Because you first wrote that she isn't surprised at all to find herself in the middle of the war.

*"The sight was more devastating than a lie" I think this is meant as an allegory, but it seems a bit random to me as I unvoluntarily thought it referred to a specific lie ("did I miss something??")

I hope it's okay to point these things out!

Cheers
Shinicha

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thank you a thousand times for this review and stopping by! I'm sorry that I'm just now responding to it though. D':

I think a few people have commented on the fact that I didn't start this story after the War was over. This is pretty short but the first four chapters actually focus on the Battle of Hogwarts. The remaining chapters focus on the aftermath of it (That's actually the name of my favorite chapter in this entire story) and I thought that it was a good balance.

I made sure that I did my research while I was writing the Battle. I didn't want to focus on Harry and his friends because we already KNOW what they're going through. It was easier for me to shape what Angelina was seeing around other events that you all would recognize, forcing her to be in the middle of everything that she couldn't stop. It was a kind of exhausting writing so much angst though but your reaction to it was just what I needed! I wanted you all to feel every single thing and one person left me a review a long time ago saying that she nearly tasted the blood in the air. Now THAT was a compliment that made me feel so amazed and even a little scared by!

I really liked the flashback because not only do you get a sense of what Angelina's relationship with George will be like in the future, you get a good idea of who he is without Fred. That was essential. I shall not apologize about making Percy into a git, although I do love him more than any other Weasley sometimes.

Punctuation is not my strongest suit.

The thing about Angelina being introduced to canon characters through the Trio is simply to show that she was everywhere and nowhere. I wanted to give you all the idea that she didn't really hang around the twins and the others ALL the time. I'm sure that she talked to Hermione and the others a little here and there too but there's also this thing that I wanted to play around with. You know who these people are already but to someone like Angelina, who doesn't have the closest relationship to them, seeing those same people dead or in danger just creates a whole different emotion.

Or something like that.

THe CC's that you pointed out are the same ones that get me every time. It's weird how that happens AFTER the chapter is posted, right? Hahahaha.

Thanks so much for the review!

Gabbie


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Review #3, by AdinaPuff Blood and Defiance

6th June 2015:
Review swap!

Wow. This just gave me every feel in the book. Now I want to read and write everything Fred/Angelina/George you can possibly imagine. Oh my gosh. I loved this!

War fics are the best when they're through the eyes of a minor character. I love seeing the other perspectives, the different situations and conflicts that occurred during the war that didn't revolve around Harry. I love reading fics about these guys, and I particularly look for Oliver fics, but now I want to read every Angelina I can find. You did a great job showing the closeness of these friends, how the war was making them realize things and act upon feelings they normally wouldn't. Poor Angelina, these feelings for George. She doesn't want to say anything but she does. Oh, the feels.

I love how this follows along with what happens in the books. You keep in canon as you approach another's perspective, and I love that. Everything that happens pre-war fits. I also love the bit about them being surprised that Neville's in charge of a lot. He's definitely changed :p Aberforth was written well too :D

And oh, oh, my heart just shattered. Their promise! FRED PROMISED TO COME BACK! It's so sad that he doesn't. Poor Angelina. Poor George. Poor Fred. Oh, this war...

I loved this! I'll be reading on! :D

- Leigh xx

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thank you so much for the lovely review and stopping by to read this story! It means a lot, I was unsure if anyone would be able to get into it. ;__;

Well, I have This is Angelina completed so you can read the remainder of this story anytime you like! Hahah. I'm going through an editing process for "Memories" though and my one-shot, "Again" features Georgie if you haven't read that already. :D

Anyhoo, I really LOVE writing from minor character's POV and I agree that we don't see them much. We never see what they felt or experienced during the battle and I just had to do something different for this, especially since this is Angelina's story.

The stress of the moment is pushing people to do things that they normally wouldn't do or say. It's scary and freeing at the same time and I'm glad that you were able to see how close the friendships were. Angelina will regret not saying anything to George when the time comes. ;__;

I tried to stay as much with canon as I could and I actually had DH on my lap while I was typing. I didn't want to stray too far from it so I'm glad that you enjoyed how Neville was portrayed. I was always a little nervous about Aberforth though...

That promise! Oh, the feels...I'm really sorry for that. >:D

It only gets worse as you go.

Hahaha.

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #4, by pointless_proclamations Blood and Defiance

3rd June 2015:
GABBY!!

In the first paragraph, we see Angelina and Alicia's Gryffindor qualities right away: they're loyal to Hogwarts and brave enough to sneak back in. From the way these two talk, the dialogue that you've written, it is evident that these two ladies really care for each other—almost like sisters, actually. They're so adorable!

I think you've set the mood of the story wonderfully. There is a sense of a constant looming darkness that makes hearts heavy and eyes more wide and alert.

The fight scene was properly tense. It's always really interesting to see Hogwarts through the eyes of someone outside of the golden trio. They're experiencing different but similar things in different ways with different people and I think you do really well in exploring that.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team especially seems like an actual family, what with Fred and George adopting Lee almost to make a triplet and this beautiful dynamic between Alicia, Angelina, Oliver, and Katie. What amazes me most about your writing is the interpersonal connections between the characters. You don't have to say that they're close explicitly, and you don't, but from the way you've written them, you know that they are as good as family.

I held my breath there when they were expressing their astonishment over Neville because of what they think of him. Thinking back to the novels, this is a reasonable reaction.

"I hate thinking, I try to leave that all to Percy" Bahaha!! Gabby!! Your sense of humour is brilliant. Oh! We have two ships here already! Geroge/Angelina and Katie/Oliver. They're amazing and you make my heart almost melt for them, Gabby! War makes the perfect catalyst for confessions of love, don't you think?

Wow you know how to write a scene that just rushes! The moment before the battle, you wrote it starting slowly, then slowly increasing in pace and it was magnificent!

Thank you so much for the swap! I cannot wait to continue on reading this story!!

Cheers,
Em ♥

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks a bunch for stopping by! This is one of my favorite stories that I've written and it's been awhile since anyone has stopped by. ;__;

I think that I wanted to show Angie and Alicia being brave right from the beginning, since so much of their actions relied on their courage. The girls have known each other for years so I wanted their conversation to feel natural and the sisterly vibe you get is exactly what I intended. :D

The constant feeling of doom hovering over their heads was intentional as well. A few people didn't like this first chapter and said that it was boring and didn't have much action but I didn't want to start the battle off right away. We never get to see how the other characters were dealing with the upcoming fight and I wanted to at least hint at how they were feeling here.

Strangely, I couldn't imagine the Gryffindor Quidditch team any other way. I imagine that they didn't just spend their time together on the pitch and their bond actually plays a crucial point later on in this story. They're very close and so what happens to George, Angelina and the others is important for them to hold onto that bond. At least, that was what I was going for. Hahaha.

Oh, Neville...I adore him. :D

Hahah, I try to add a little humor into my stories. If I wrote a story that was filled to the brim with angst, you guys would never forgive me! And I'll take all the laughter I can get right now, to be honest...especially when the next three chapters have made people cry in the past. You have been warned.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I really appreciate it! ;___;

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by HappyMollyWeasley Blood and Defiance

22nd May 2015:
Hi! This is Molly with the review for our swap. I've not read many Angelina stories, but she's a great character, and I like her in canon.

The friendship between her and Alicia is well-written, and I can really tell that they like each other much. The same goes for the rest of the group of friends, they really seem to love each other all of them.

Poor Aberforth, no peace and quiet at all.! ;)

I like the way your characters speak to each other, but the way the dialogue is written it's sometimes a little hard to follow. That, and a few typos and missing commas and apostrophes and such draw my attention from the story itself. But the plot is good, and it's always interesting to see the battle from a different POV.

The romance in this story is sweet, and I'm one of those who can't have enough of fluff and romance... But - because of the setting in the middle of a battle - I think it's a little too much focus on who's in love with whom. My advise would be to focus on Angelina's own feelings here instead. The interaction between her and George is beautifully done!

I liked the inclusion of why she was going to the Yule ball with Fred. There are so many of us who think that Angelina and Fred were in love, with makes the Angelina/George ship so much harder... This was an explanation which was needed in that way.

The sweet kiss from George, and saying good bye to him and Fred... Oh, it breaks my heart with its beauty!


Molly

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this lovely review, I really appreciate it. Angelina hardly gets any love on the archives and I can't understand why. She's fantastic!

Alicia and Angie have known each other for years and I really wanted their friendship to seem real. They all have a close bond with one another though and with what's about to happen, they're going to need it to survive.

I had meant to go through and edit this once again but things got piled on me and I forgot but thanks for the CC.

I got the entire "Too much love" in another review but because I kind of go right into the action in the next chapter, I hope all is forgiven. Who is in love with whom actually plays a significant part in the later chapters. I think. Hahaha.

I never saw Fred/Angelina as a couple (Although JK said that they DID date at one point) so I wanted to stray away from that. It's clear in my story that Angelina has loved George for years and her heart didn't have it in her to love anyone else.

Anyway, thanks so much for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by Ribbons Blood and Defiance

17th September 2014:
Hello!

So, recently I've been noticing a lot of things OTHER than plot and characterization, and this review will reflect that. I'm mostly going to be zeroing in on your actual writing (sentence structure, flow etc.). For that, I apologize. If you would like me to review you on the plot and characters, I will definitely do that in another chapter. Just ask.

First of all, sentences.

My dear friend, sentences are a difficult thing, because they're always so determined to be the same. It's so easy to fall into the hole of doing the same sentence, the same structure and the same rhythm over and over and over again.

Sometimes, they have to be short and snappy.

BAM!

Do you see all that space? Did you notice how that bam really solidified and anchored the sentences before it? Rambling is so easy to do, and I find that a great way to break the habit and nail down that rambling is varying your sentences. 7

Readers WANT to be fed the stuff they read. They can't help it. If stuff starts to get boring, my eyes wander, I tend to skip. But what there's super important plot info in that chunky paragraph I just skimmed? Characterization? Hidden messages and foreshadowing? What you need to do is set it up in such a way that the reader reads that stuff without being bored, and therefore picks up a LOT more of your story.

It's actually quite simple.

Put in different sentence lengths to keep them awake and interested, don't overuse certain bits of punctuation, make important things that you're trying to say INTERESTING, or at least hide them between layers of simple, alluring text like quotation marks. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, right?

If that made any sense, then bravo. You're one smart cookie. If it didn't, don't worry about it because I'm a bit crazy.

The important thing is that you have a good story to tell here, you just have to set it up so that everyone will be drawn in, hooked and willing to give you a chance to tell this tale.

That all starts with the sentences.

If you can get that important element down, you will be on the road to success. First you have to get them to COME to your booth, then you can try and sell them your goods.

I hope this was helpful.

Much, much, much love,

Alena

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with your review, I'm glad that you finally made it but I'm going to be honest here and say that this didn't really come off as helpful to me at all. I'm not sure if it was the way that you worded your sentences or not but it this review kind of came off as more sarcastic to me more than anything else. I wasn't grateful to receive this review and I can take constructive criticism just fine but I think that your tone sort of rubbed me the wrong way. I can understand from this review that you didn't like the chapter and probably not the story and the bits of compliments that I managed to find (Not that I expect them from all of my stories, mind you) felt kind of obligatory. It sort of read off to me as, "Well, this was really bad but at least you tried." And I think that I would have appreciated that a lot more than whatever you were trying to say.

I feel like you kind of struggled to even get this review done and I sort of feel like you might have been better off if you had just skipped it? I'm glad that you read it and was kind enough to leave a review but it didn't really come off that way to me. Uhm, I guess I can hope for you to find better stories elsewhere? Or at least find a story that you don't find so boring and uninteresting.

Gabbie


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Review #7, by TidalDragon Blood and Defiance

8th September 2014:
Howdy! I've not disappeared after all!

Well...this story seems to be in a far different style than the others I've reviewed for you. For starters it's much more literal. I can't decide whether that was deliberate or not, but I think it came across as a bit more mechanical than your other pieces as a result.

The biggest thing that shocked me about this piece was how much dialogue there is in it. I get it in the build-up, but we're talking about the Battle of Hogwarts and Angelina, Alicia & company being relatively late arrivals (who encounter and fell a Death Eater before even making it inside), and they spend loads of time talking. Including romantic gossip about guys. It's certainly a different perspective on the battle, I grant you that, but I didn't get as much authenticity out of the scenes or characters as a result.

I was pleased with the way you handled most of Angelina's emotions throughout though. She has a realistic on-again-off-again fear/bravado tandem going which was nice. I also thought your discussion of Fred vs. George (while it felt like a bit of a forced insertion) to be welcome in its novelty. Most people take the approach of them coming together through their grief, so it was nice for you to eschew that here.

I only noticed one typo: "the shudders of many stores". I think you meant "shutters" :P

Your quest to have me review your collected works draws ever nearer to completion! Hope you found this one helpful. As always, feel free to PM or re-request.

Author's Response: Hello!

I was wondering when you were going to be stopping by, I'd just about gave up that you'd been taken back to your home world! Its good to see you again, as always. :)

This is the second fanfic that I ever wrote and also the first one that I'm going back and revising so I'm certain that it doesn't necessarily have that same "feel" that you're talking about. To be honest, I always hope that none of my stories have the same general emotion so this sort of makes me happy but then again, whenever you start off your reviews with "Well..." I know I'm in for a dissatisfied review. Hahahhaha.

I started this story with a much more literal feeling on purpose, I didn't want to drag on about what was going to happen. I hadn't thought of actually pacing this a lot slower because when I was reading DH I got this feeling that time was just running out, which is something that I'd wanted to try hear.

Well, you fuss at me a lot for dragging on and on so I'm surprised that you were surprised by how much dialogue there was! How..how dare you! Hahaha. This chapter is mostly just setting things up here and I personally liked it so your words mean nothing human! All joking aside, I wanted to really play on what was important at that moment because there was the possibility that someone or something could be taken away. Hence all the girls talking about love and the ones they fancy so often--I'm not exactly subtle either about the people that might die so there you go. :p Actually, most of the people that are mentioned in that scene end up killed or injured.

I'm just evil that way.

Anyhoo, Angelina is the sort of person that tries not to show her fear but I had to think about how the situation would really bother her. If I'd been in her position, I would have been scared beyond belief but I think I wrote her decently enough.

Eh, I never liked the thought of George and Angie coming together through grief. Why is it so hard to imagine that they may have already been in love with each other? That just boggles my mind...

I have taken note of the "Shutters" Haha.

Well...I have two more stories that you haven't tried yet and I just know that you're not going to like them. *Sigh* That isn't going to stop me from requesting though and I'll probably just stick with "Transparent" for you, you fuss at me a lot with that story but you seem to like it all right. Hahaha.

Thanks again, you're always a treat!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #8, by Roisin Blood and Defiance

8th September 2014:
Hello!

I'm sorry it took me a while to get to this, I had a challenge to wrap up, and much RL work. But I'm glad I'm finally here!

I definitely really liked all of the characters. Angelina was fantastic, and you did a wonderful job with the twins. And I was consistently impressed by how you so seamlessly wove in the canon.

I also loved that you managed to bring levity and comedy and romance into such an otherwise tense chapter. Angelina and Fred drinking Firewhiskey and harassing Percy was brilliant! Also, that everyone is battling with whether or not to confess their loves was great--they were all so young to be fighting! It was such a nice thing to add!

The tone of this chapter was also great--it was so tense and electric, and the perfect way to build up to the battle. The very last lines were masterful in the same sense. There's so much anxiety, excitement, uncertainty. You wrote them all psyching themselves up so well!

My only suggestion is that some of the dialog is embedded in other sentences, and I felt like it should have been set off into its own sentence. And at one point you referred to window "shudders." "Shutters," I think? But that was it :)

Great job with this! I always really liked Angelina's character, and I think your take on her was just flawless!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for stopping by and no worries about being a little late considering that I usually am with you!Hahahaha.

This story is going through a revision so I'm glad that you liked Angelina, I thought that I hadn't made her relatable enough in the original. Phew! The twins are hard to write, though! It took a long time to get them just right. I read the Deathly Hallows at least three times while I was writing this entire story so I'm glad that you liked the canon bits, I wanted to make it feel as real as possible.

Comedy and Angst are two things that belong together. Hahaaha. I think that you can write a story with just angst just fine but you have to give your readers a break every now and then or else they'll expire. Trust me, you'll thank me for the bits of humor that I added in this story if you continue on. Hahahah. Bring tissues, you'll need them.

Also, the confessions of love were just painful for me to write but also important. You're not at all certain if you'll make it out and making that important connection can make a big difference in the long run!

Those last lines always make people upset in some sense. The tears begin and never quite stop until after the fourth chapter, I'm glad that you liked them so much! They're my favorite as well!

Thanks for pointing out those problems, I always spot them AFTER the story is updated, which is a major pain. >:(

Thank you so much for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie

P.S.: This has nothing at all to do with this particular story but if you read "This is Audrey Tang" again, try listening to The Weeknd's "Wicked Games" while you do and let me know what you think. It fits Percy so well.


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Review #9, by mymischiefmanaged Memories

22nd July 2014:
Again, this is brilliantly written. I have so much I want to say and I'm sure I won't remember to put all of it in this review so I'll try to start from the beginning.

I love the creativity of enchanting the bludgers. It so fits in with Angelina's crazy Quidditch obsession when she was Captain and I'm sure it would be a very effective attack. Also the bubotuber puss is a good idea. It's very believable that the students would use things they could find around the school to fight in the same way that Trelawney uses her crystal balls so kudos for that.

Angelina's anger shows a new side to her that I'm sure would come out of lots of people in war. It's interesting to see her blinded by how cross she is and really trying to hurt people rather than just protect herself and others, but I like that you've explored this side of her.

I really like the series of different people you have Angie fighting beside, showing how strong alliances and friendships become in wartime. It's something that provides contrast with the death eaters as well, this willingness to work together rather than work for personal glory.

The flashback to first year was sweet as well. I like how Fred and George's mischief was much less sophisticated but their enthusiasm was exactly the same. The only thing you might want to change is that you have Katie Bell there with them at the feast. She's the year below so wouldn't have been at Hogwarts yet. It's only a small point though and doesn't interfere with the rest of the narrative.

This sentence: 'a horror unlike anything she had ever seen broke over her and her mind, her soul, burst into flame and agonising pain' - just, well, I'm not sure what I can say to comment on it but it's wonderful.

The only other thing is that you have Alicia saying her and Seamus will be fine, where last chapter I thought she was interested in Lee? I know she said she had a boyfriend but it doesn't quite seem to fit together. If she liked Lee you'd think her thoughts would turn to him when she's about to risk her life rather than to Seamus. It's just a tiny thing that could maybe do with being clarified.

Anyway, I really loved this chapter. It's beautifully written and I'm loving Angelina more and more as I read on.

Emma x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again! Angelina's thing of enchanting the Bludgers was such a random idea in my mind and I never thought it would come across well at the time. Hahah. Violence and Quidditch work very well together! I think the students had to work together with Hogwarts and there wasn't a lot of time to really get them prepared before the Death Eater's arrived so I think it worked out better than they thought.

Angelina's fear had dissolved into rage by this point and I think it shows how different a person can become after they've encountered such trauma. She's not looking for glory, she's just trying to do what's right and that's something I wanted every character to feel at that moment.

You see more flashbacks! I loved writing them! Young Fred and George were fun to put together, their pranks matured over time and I really liked that you enjoyed that.

Oh, the thing about Katie is that at the time I had NO idea that she was a year younger than my main group but after I figured it out, I never went back to change it. Hahah.

That sentence you quoted is my favorite too! It makes me want to cry...

I did some recent editing of the first chapter, this story is going through a reboot so that's why you might have gotten a bit confused by what Alicia was saying. I hadn't made it quite so obvious that she liked Lee in my original draft so I'm going to have to go in and change that bit so there's not a lot of confusion later on.

Thanks so much for reading! Hope to see you soon!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by mymischiefmanaged Blood and Defiance

22nd July 2014:
Hey Gabbie,

I really loved this chapter (as much as I can love something that I know is going to make me cry). I really enjoy stories where Angelina has been with Fred and her and George find eachother in their grief, but it's also hard to reconcile that with who George is in the books. I like that here you've made George the one for Angie from the start and not taken Fred asking her to the ball too seriously. I wish she'd told him how she feels but I can see how that would be frightening.

You've really shown the true horror of war with Angelina's protecting her parents despite the fact that they're both wizards and would be able to fight. Her bravery in leaving for the battle while trying to keep her parents safe is really touching and says a lot about her character. Likewise Alicia's determination to fight when she clearly doesn't want to demonstrates how awful everything really is.

I like Katie and Oliver. You know I put them together in my story so I definitely support them here, and Katie running to tell him her feelings is sweet. I'd love to hear what he had to say but I'm guessing we won't get that in this story (maybe a one shot? just an idea...).

A big part of me is reluctant to read on because I know what's going to have to happen, but I'm also looking forward to the next chapter. You're writing Angelina really well and I'm happy to have found this story.

Emma x

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by, this story hasn't been reviewed in almost two years so this means a lot to me! :)

I have read a lot of George/Angelina where they use Angelina's previous love for Fred as a basis for their relationship but I didn't want to go in that direction. I thought that twisting it up and having them already loving each other, even if they never said it, would work better. Angelina is scared that George only sees her as a friend and plus, she didn't want to tell him right before the battle. I think I would have but she was probably thinking of what would work best for him.

Angelina is the sort of person who doesn't like to fight and she would do anything to protect the people she loves. She would rather have her parents on the sidelines than risk them being injured in any way and Alicia's determination to fight shows how much things have changed. You really have to buckle down and do what you have to do or you'll miss your chance.

I LOVE Katie and Oliver. I was thinking of making a companion one-shot for this story and I've oddly enough never gotten around to it so its still an option! Oliver liked Katie but I wonder what he said to her too? Hahah.

I'm glad that you enjoyed this first chapter and I hope you continue on! You might want to bring tissues...

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #11, by BookDinosaur Blood and Defiance

28th June 2013:
Hey Gabbie! It's -BookDinosaur- here with your review request! Sorry it took so long! :(

So anyway. The first thing I want to say is that I loved your characterisation of Angie. She's portrayed as such a strong, caring person, I really loved her here. I've always liked Angie, but there are very few stories about her, and even less from her POV, so I was really happy to find out that this story was not only focusing on her, but narrated by her as well. :)

Okay, so I also felt that the twins were slightly mellowed down here, as if they're showing their softer side to Angie, and I really liked that little detail. I don't know why, but I did.

I liked the relationship between George and Angelina as well, it was sweet and there but didn't take too much centre stage, which I enjoyed because when relationships are too focused on even when the story is about something else, it just detracts from the story. They both like each other but are too afraid to show it. Please say that the kiss at the end as from George?

That comment about Fred being fine hit me right in the feels, it really did. We know he's not going to be fine, but he says "see you then" and we know he's not going to... That was just heartbreaking for me. It was a really strong way to end the chapter, so well done there.

I think my CC for you would be to develop your minor chracters a bit more - they all seem a bit bland at the moment - and your long sentences. I'm not saying cut all your sentences in half, but in this story it was the norm to see sentences three lines long, and they sounded a bit too run-on, if you know what I mean.

Other than those small issues, this was a great story that I really enjoyed reading. :)

Author's Response: HellO!

I just answered your message on the forums too but am just now getting to answering your review. Seems sort of backwards...
Anyway, thanks for stopping by with this lovely review, it made my day! :)
I don't understand why there aren't alot of stories with Angelina on teh archives, I think its a real shame. She's the sort of character that I think is just great to write, she's strong and passionate and she's got a great sense of humor.
I hadn't thought of having anyone else narrate this story aside from her either, I think her voice was too powerful to switch away from so I kept it the same. After all, the story is called "This is Angelina," heheheheh.
Everyone has commented on the twins being a little mellowed down here but I think when I first wrote them I wasn't too good at how I wanted the twins. But considering that the battle is about to begin, I think the pair of them being a bit lighter is a better contrast.
George and Angie's relationship is hinted at a little in this first chapter! I didn't want to put too much detail into it because there was no time and like you said, it would distract readers from the real issue later on.
Oh, it was George that kissed her, I'm not going to play with your emotions! Hahahaha.
That last little bit with Fred just...oh, the feels! You have no idea how much i just sobbed writing this scene and the eventual death scene with him. I sobbed for an hour or more! D':
I haven't edited this story since I posted it up but I know the mistakes you're talking about. I'll most likely update the edited version sometime down the line when I'm not too busy but until then I've got other stories and I'm really lazy. Hahahah.
But thanks for reading! Come back whenever and I'll most likely re-request!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #12, by soapman333 Aftermath

24th February 2013:
You made me cry! No joke, I cried!! Some fairy is going to rush in and take my man-card away, I just know it.

Freak it was so sad! I just wanted to give Angelina a big hug :(.

Oh and I like how she has tremors in her hand, it makes the trauma of the war more believable :)

I'm going to watch some intense action flicks after this, geez. I feel all girly right now,

Jack

Author's Response: Hello!

*Snatches man-card and burns it* Oh, god, I've sunk to a new low, I've made MEN cry now! Should that make me happy? I'm not sure but I'm grinning and laughing at your pain...
This chapter was really sad but its my fault, I love angst. :D
Oh, yeah, I had to add in that there was something wrong with her after the War. Then again, all the characters have their issues and I'm glad that it was believable. :D
Watch Taken with Liam Neeson, you can get your man-card's ashes back if you do. :D
HAHAHA.
YES.
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #13, by soapman333 It All Ends

24th February 2013:
Gah, this chapter was sad.

The pink bra and panties? Priceless.

Sorry that this review is so short, I just want to keep reading :P

Jack

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and I'm very sorry that this chapter was so sad, it actually took me a while to write. I suppose you didn't want to cry even more because you skipped the third chapter! Bwhahahha. Or did you? I actually mention bras and panties more often than I should...
In like, all of my stories.
Pitiful. HAHAHAH.
Anyhoo, thanks for coming back!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #14, by soapman333 Memories

24th February 2013:
This is no "girly" novel, well, it is, but come on! So much violence, action, suspense, and, well, blood!

This is definitely a war.

Jack

Author's Response: HellO!

Hahaha, I have never seen all that in just one sentence! Hahaha. Hey there, Jack! I will admit that I love alot of action and blood and where else to throw all of this together than in the Battle of Hogwarts? I mean, honestly, how can you not read a story with all that stuff thrown in together?! And plus, it was more fun for me to write. :D
And why its rated "Mature" hahahahaha.
Thanks for reading again! So soon, I might add!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #15, by soapman333 Blood and Defiance

24th February 2013:
Wow, I'm completely invested in this story already.

Hmmm, I don't really anything else to say besides: Angelina just made my "date" list, even though I know she'll get together with one of the twins.

Onto the next chapter!
soapman333 (Jack)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, welcome back! Hahaha. This honestly wouldn't have been the story I thought you would have personally attacked but thanks! :D
Its my second-ever fanfic!
Bwhahaha, Angelina is on my fantasy list too but I'm much too in love with George to give him up. :D
Thanks for reading, hope to see you back!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #16, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing It All Ends

16th February 2013:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review!

Please keep requesting all your stories by the way, I try and get round to them when I can but I usually try and do the requested ones first. If you request though I can fill them out without feeling guilty about the others I should be doing! You don't bug me at all - I love reading these stories!

I loved the start of this story with Angelina waking back up in the middle of the fighting. Her Alicia and Katie have a really strong bond and I really liked the way you showed that at the beginning.

Again, you showed how strong Angelina is, she's in the middle of her worst nightmare, she thinks the love of her life is dead and she continually keeps going and surviving. She must pretty much be running on adrenaline at this point. It's a wonder she can produce the patronus but it was nice that it was the thoughts of George that did that.

Then when George saves her and she just holds on to him and then saves him right back. Even though I'm still guttered about Fred I really loved this bit and think it works well for the two of them. I know it must be hard for her to watch George murder someone but in the situation their in I hope she doesn't let it get in the way of anything.

Oh god the ending. It absolutely broke my heart. Poor George! I think you got this section perfectly. Not many words but George just breaking down at losing his twin. Yeah - I'll just go fetch the tissues!

Amazing chapter as always, you write this story so well!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I shall keep on requesting my stories for you then since you can get to them any time you like! :)
I had went through alot of different ideas for this chapter and this entire story but settled on this one. I wanted the battle to be going out of control and Angelina waking up in the middle of it was just my way of saying that everything was about to either go right or go wrong. She, Alicia and Katie are like sisters, I think with them fighting together the way they did really showed that. :)
I tried to keep Angelina going by pushing and pushing her. She's the sort of girl that never givese up and is too stubborn to allow herself any amount of weakness. Its pretty true that she was running on nothing but adrenaline though, she was too far gone emotionally to really know what she was doing.
I think it took all of her power to conjure that patronus but George gave her what she needed. :)
Ah, that moment with the two of them is actually my favorite. I loved writing it and despite everything being so dark around them, there was that love between them. :D
Oh, the feels!
Thank you for picking up on the fact that Angelina watched him kill someone! That issue actually comes up later on, but there are going to be so many things between them by that point that it won't be the first thing they fight about.
I mean, talk about. >:D
That ending always makes people sad! Hahaha. I actually couldn't come up with any words for this last section, I just sort of relied on their actions. George breaking down over Fred was enough though and I'm so glad that you liked this! :D
Thank you so much! *Blush*
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #17, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Hell and Back

12th February 2013:
Hello again :)

This chapter was really great. It starts off so dark of course but then has a happier tone to it, even though I know she's remembering all this because she's sad about George, it still was nice to read the memories.

I thought the relationship between Angie/George was really cute in the past. Although, that boy is confusing. Can't he just say whether he likes her as a sister or as a potential girlfriend? He was making my head spin as much as he was Angelina's. They obviously care deeply for each other though. I did enjoy George's jealousy that Fred kissed her first. They are really sweet together.

You've kept the twins really different in this, and there isn't so much banter between them but I think for the story it does work.

So poor Angie, coming back to the real world again. This chapter was a nice break from the fighting though, it was lovely to see them when they were at school! I look forward to reading more soon!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, lovely, thanks for coming back with this review! Can my ego survive it?!
Anyway, this is a really light chapter compared to the first two and I think I wanted to do that on purpose. After all, memories of George aren't really all that dark, they're really special for Angelina and she thinks that he's dead so it adds an extra kick.
Right?
I dunno.
Hahha.
I loved writing this entire scene with George and Angie, its great to see them younger and during a much nicer time. Though, do OWLs really count as nice? Hhaha.
But anyway, yes. George is sooo confusing and I think that was the foreshadowing for the later bits in this story. He can't just say what's on his mind because he over thinks and goes all weird once he gets an idea in his head.
Which, of course, has Angelina calling him "Georgia" cause he acts like a girl. HAHAH.
I think the fact that they care about each other so much really makes it fun to see, as they won't admit to how they feel. Angelina would if she knew how George felt but.he's not going to give any hints of that. -_-
Haha.
George does not like it that Fred kissed her first! But why should he care, hm? Heheheh.
Oh, yeah, I've gotten comments about my twins. I didn't really want to focus so much on them being together all the time like that, I sort of wanted this to be with just George and Angelina. Fred and George's relationship is loving of course but I didn't go in the direction of them being extremely close like some fanfics. It just didn't work that way for this story. Hm.
Yep, Angelina's coming back into the real world and all the fighting is coming back! Beware! Hehehehe.
I shall re-request then!
Thanks for coming back!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #18, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Memories

8th February 2013:
Hello lovely!

Jeez, are you trying to kill me woman? This was a seriously seriously hard chapter for me to read, the build up to Fred's death, yeah it was tough. I think my heart stopped a little bit when I read the line: 'You're such a spoilsport, Perce. I swear, the day I see you crack a joke'll be the day I die, rotten git' I nearly started tearing then!

I thought you did an amazing job of describing the battle. I will admit it got a little confusing at times but then in the middle of a battle I'm pretty sure Angelina would be confused so I thought it kind of worked. I love that you tied in all the little bits we do know from the battle - the deaths of Colin Creevy and Lavender Brown for instance. You certainly got Angie's feelings across though and still kept her as a strong and very brave character. You wrote it amazingly well so go you!

I loved the little flash back to first year, I thought it worked really well in the middle of the battle. I also love that you bring the Quidditch team back together - I have a soft spot for Oliver Wood for sure. It's just cute when they're all together though.

The ending was so gut-wrenching. Cue me tearing up once more. I really felt for Angelina as she probably thinks it's George, although she'd be upset if it was either of them I know. Seriously though, I can't deal with this! 'she could only see his last smile, those freckles... the red, red hair' *sob sob sob* Poor Fred and George. I don't think I'll ever quite be able to forgive JK for that one.

So yes, amazingly good chapter as always! Can't wait to read more!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Ooh, hello there my dear! Thanks for coming back, its really nice seeing you again. :3
I know that this was a really hard chapter for you guys, but how do you think I felt writing it?! I had to pause and draw in some deep breaths of my own! D':
Oh, that line from Fred always gives people the feels! So many sad moments and that flashback doesn't help, you know? I was so sad writing it that I thought of actually changing it.
I tried my hardest writing the battle, I really did but I think I need to go and edit it. There are some bits that I know its confusing for you guys but its sort of hectic with what's goig on. But...an edit might work out all right too. Hahahah.
I tried to keep those moments with Colin and Lavender (You'll actually see her in my other stories, as I couldn't kill her) as canon as possible. They were two of the people I felt the most sorry for and I wanted the sight of familiar people dying to really get you guys. See how evil I am? :D
Angelina is the sort of girl that's hard to bend and I love that you enjoy her so much! She's a tough bit of woman! :D
The flashback is actually my favorite thing about this chapter to be honest. It was so fun to write and I'll always keep the Quidditch team together. :D
You'll be seeing them all together towards the middle of this story so keep reading? :3
Ah, that ending. How many people have told me that they got choked up? One reviewer that I really enjoyed cried through the whole story! I felt so sorry for her! Hahahahah.
Angelina does think its George but the truth doesn't come until later. *Hands a tissue* There, there.
I don't forgive JK for killing Fred off either! I thought it was a bit much, but you know this, don't you? Hahahha.
Anyhoo, thanks for coming back!! Means so much to me. This is my favorite story on my page. :3
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #19, by adluvshp Blood and Defiance

2nd February 2013:
Hi! Here for your requested review. I am sorry for the delay! Due to lack of time, I'll only be reviewing this one chapter but feel free to re-request for future chapters. Anyway, lets get on to the main review =)

Firstly, I'd like to say that I love your plot concept! There are very few stories out there that focus on Angelina, so this is a unique and interesting perspective. I like that you have started the story with the war scenario, and have highlighted Angelina's courageous attitude. I think you have portrayed her very aptly, and I loved reading her =)

I also like your depiction of Fred and George, they seem to be a little mellowed down as compared to canon, but I guess that's okay. The little something that you show between George and Angelina is really nicely done too - it doesn't come across as a main element just yet, but its there, and that's how it should be in first chapters of stories!

The ending was particularly powerfully moving (at least for me) since Fred says "see you then" when he'll actually die, and then Angelina being unable to smile back is so sad. It's a very brief moment, but its powerful, and I love powerful endings to chapters, so great job!

Although your main plot focuses on Angelina, and her relationship with George, and there is no doubt that you have captured both these things very well in this first chapter itself, I'd have liked to see a little more development in the other minor characters. Maybe some more detail and description on them would have added a nice touch to the overall scenario, that's the one CC I have.

The grammar was also quite off in a lot of places in the story, especially your sentence phrasing, so I'd suggest getting a beta to look through that for you, as many times choppy awkward sentences can disrupt the flow of the story.

But apart from that, this made for a very good read. I liked your over all plot, the way you introduced all your characters, the characterisations of George, Angelina, and Fred, and the glimpse we get into George/Angelina's relationship. I think it was all very well done. The pace also seemed to be fine, and except for the off-sentences here and there, the flow was more or less okay.

I enjoyed reading this, so good work! Keep writing!
Feel free to re-request!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. I hope the review didn't disappoint you. I usually would give more detailed reviews, but I am running short of time, so apologies once again.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by with this review, I'm glad that you were able to find the time. :D
I think its a shame that there aren't more stories that focus on Angelina. She's such a strong character and there are some great things you can do with her but thanks so much for enjoying her! :D She's pretty hard to get right and I struggled quite a bit so I'm glad that you were able to get into her personality and all that.
You know, I might have done Fred and George more mellow on purpose to contrast what was about to happen. They seemed like an optimistic pair to me so I didn't want them to be really dark, not just yet. :(
Oh, that ending! I'm so sorry! I know alot of people said that they got sad at that "See you then" but we all know what's going to happen to Fred! Oh, the feels! Angelina not being able to smile back also just made my stomach knot a little. :(
The feels! *Runs away*
Ooh, so many chops and such, eh? I'll have to go through and edit those! I'd been meaning to but I've been really busy so that's my fault. This is the second fanfic that I ever wrote and my style has changed so much and I've improved a bunch since this. But I'll go through and change the CC's you gave me, thanks for pointing them out, I really like to hear what I should do to make the flow and pace better. :p
I rush in my writing and sometimes it comes across! :(
But anyway, I will go into more detail on my minor characters, that always sort of bugged me. Thanks for reading this though, it means a bunch! I'll re-request soon-ish, I've got a butt load of stuff on my plate and I'm not quite full. :p
Thanks again!
No worries on this review, it was lovely regardless! Good luck with your busy life!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #20, by teh tarik Blood and Defiance

25th January 2013:
Hello Gabbie! First of all, I have to apologise for taking such an awful long time to respond to your review request :( There's this occasionally nasty little thing called Real Life which always gets in the way :p

Anyway. Anyway. I am loving this story so far. It's so unusual to have a fanfic from Angelina's POV, and Angelina is a character that I absolutely love (I remember her well as the feisty but grim Quidditch captain who stresses out way too easily...). I love your Angelina here! She's so courageous, has plenty of pluck and daring, is concerned and protective toward the other younger students, and yet is still nervous about her parents' finding out about her plans. My brain was doing a fist pump inside my skull when Angelina snarls "Fuck this. I'm not going to give up shit...". SO MUCH ADMIRATION FOR HER :D I also love your portrayal of the Weasley twins, and the way Angelina interacts with them. There's something so warm and affectionate between the three of them, and of course there's that something extra between her and George. The twins are a little gentler than they are in the books, but I like them a lot; I think you've written them very well - it feels like they're displaying their softer sides with Angelina. Although i love the George/Angelina ship to bits, I would also love to see the relationship between Angelina and Fred and how it differs from her relationship with George. I do hope this is explored in later chapters, maybe through Angelina's memories or something!

I think you've gone into a great deal of detail describing the moments leading up to the Battle of Hogwarts. There's so much action and energy and activity and tension that it makes this quite an exciting chapter to read, and I like the way you've mentioned so many other characters in Angelina's observations - the Creevey brothers, Lavender, Ginny, Luna, Oliver, Katie, Alicia, Neville, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle...this chapter is a blur of names and characters, and it's really fitting because it does reflect on the chaotic nature of battle. Sigh. And of course the twins. I am already feeling tragic for poor Fred. AND poor George, having to lose his brother. It's such an ominous note this chapter ends on.

One thing to watch out for would be your sentences: some of them are a little awkward e.g. Angelina wondered where he had gone as well but she hoped that he was going to be okay but she didn't have time to worry about it. It's a little clunky, with the word 'but' used twice in the same line, and I think it would sound much better if you'd broken it up. Another example would be: All because they had decided to say no to the cruelty, to the evil and the wrongness that You-Know-Who thrived on, all because they were all going to say no. I don't really think the repetition of "all because they were going to say no" is needed in the same sentence. The sentence is very strong already; I don't think there's any need for further emphasis.

There are other instances of awkward sentence structures here and there; it would be great if you could go through the chapter and read it out aloud to identify these parts so they can be rephrased / edited. This will definitely improve the flow of your story :)

Also, I know Angelina is the main character of the story, but it would be great to see some level of development of your other minor characters e.g. Katie and Alicia and Oliver. Perhaps there might be certain characteristics or character traits that make each one unique? Well, I know this is a completed story and all, but perhaps in your future fics you could give a little thought to some background characters :)

Well, anyway, I've really really enjoyed this story. I read the second chapter as well, and I'll definitely come back and leave a review for that! I think Angelina's POV is unique and her character is very well-developed...and I would just love to see her and how she copes in the aftermath of the war. Great work! Lovely writing :) I'm certainly coming back!

And apologies once again for the late review.

-teh

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, darling, no worries at all. I've been sort of busy myself lately with pesky real life issues and I figured that you were really busy.
It sucks! Hahaha.
So, first of all, thanks for coming to check out this story. It was my second fanfic! Its also my favorite out of my collection so far so I'm always so pleased when people respond so nicely to it. I mean, later on, I think I've been told by four people that I made them cry. T-T
You know, its strange how there aren't many fanfics from Angelina's POV. I think its sort of a waste because she's such a strong character to write for and we do know a bit about her from the books. She's fierce and determined and that's the sort of girl I like writing about. No wussy little girls for my fanfics! Hahaha. Or something.
I think Angelina is the sort of girl to be as strong as she needs to be but still very vulnerable on the other. She's the sort that worries too much and is always putting other people ahead of herself. In a way I guess she's sort of like a mother hen and its nice seeing how soft she can be while also talking about kicking booty! :D
I had no idea how I was going to write the twins in this. I knew that by the end of the second chapter that Freddie is gone but I didn't want to show them being so dark. They were joking around like there was nothing wrong and that's something that I always liked about them. They're very optimistic in their own way! And Angelina and the boys are really close, which makes Fred's loss all the more painful later on. Fred regards Angelina like he would Ginny I think and George, well we all know how he feels about her! ;)
I think I play on Angelina's relationship with Fred later on in the story, though the memories are sort of brief. I sort of feel bad about that and might play on it more in "Memories" instead to give you guys more of an idea of what their relationship was like.
Yes, that ending. We all know what's going to happen, don't we? It always makes me squirm a little because I just want to pluck poor Fred out of this story and into my bosom.
He'd like that! ;)
Phew. I always think I didn't do the chaos before the Battle right! There was so much going on and so many people that I felt swamped. I thought I didn't do too hot on that because aside from what Harry saw when he got there, we don't know WHAT everyone else was feeling/doing. So thank you so much! :*)
Oh, goodness. For a while, this was actually gone from my flashdrive and I just recently got it back on my computer (Thanks to the manage stories link on the site of course) and I was reading and going, "Merlin, these sentences are so bad!" D':
I most likely will go through this whole story again and edit it with a passion. I have so much stuff to update and type though so it might be going by very, very slowly. But thanks for pointing them out to me, they really do sort of mess up the flow of this and I can't have that! :D
I know just what you mean about the other characters. I think in one of Angelina's memories you get a sense of Katie and the rest a bit more but I could have put more detail into it. With what happens after the War, you get more of a sense of how everyone changed. But, still, I could have developed them more but if you had the time, you might want to read "Again". Its a one-shot from George's POV that gives alot more detail on how everyone changed after the War. More so than this story actually. T-T
Phew, thanks so much for liking Angelina! Her character changes so much after the War that you might be surprised in the direction that I go. But I think I just like hurting my female leads. I'm evil that way. :3
But thank you so much, you made my day with this review. It was lovely. :D
No worries on the late review!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #21, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Blood and Defiance

6th January 2013:
Hello lovely!!

So after reading your George one-shot I had to come and check out this story also and this chapter hasn't disappointed at all!!

I thought you built up the suspense really well. You obviously never get to read how things lead up for any characters other than the trio and I just love what you did here! Leaving her parents the note to keep them safe; my heart went out to her and it was just well written!!

You also built up the George and angelina relationship well - both if them obviously like each other but are reluctant to show it. Please say the kiss at the end was George? I like that you had the uncertainty in it for both of them. It was a nice touch that she was disappointed Fred asked her to the ball in the end although I was a bit sad for him, bless!

Oh the comment about Fred and George being fine broke my heart! I know Fred's not going to be fine and it's just horrible and I don't like it. Any chance your not going to make this canon and make my day? Please? Hmm I have a feeling the answer will be no I'll hope anyway :)

I liked how you mentioned about some of the characters beeing too young... Colin, Ginny, Luna etc. I think it's an important point to bring up and I'm sure a lot of the older students would be thinking the same and worrying like Angelina. I also like that you brought in how scared she was; Even though she was trying not to show it. I think this would be accurate of Angelina :)

I was just as amused as the twins by her line to Voldemort. Made me laugh anyway :)

Great chapter anyway hun and I will certainly be coming back for more soon!

Lauren

Author's Response: HELLO!

*Blush* I didn't expect to see you soon! What a nice surprise! I'm happy that you actually stopped by to read "This is Angelina" though because what happens to George in his one-shot actually stems from this. :D
So, whoo!
I always thought it was sad that we never got to see how the other students felt about the upcoming battle. I knew that they were nervous of course but I still wanted more so I tried to get Angelina's thoughts as realistic as possible. She has to be afraid to show how she's feeling about fighting, possibly losing friends who are like family to her.
She had such a hard time deciding what to do with her parents though, I felt my heart twist a little when I wrote it.
Hahah, oh, George and Angelina. You can tell that they have feelings for one another but its actually an issue that I don't delve too deeply with, at least on George's side anyway. I think Angelina goes into why she hadn't said anything about how she felt in a later chapter but by then, you'll be hating me too much to pay attention. >:D
For whatever reason, I never thought that Fred had wanted to go with Angelina to the Ball just because he liked her. I'd always figured he'd just done it so he wouldn't go alone or something. But he's known about her feelings for George for years so of course, he knew how she really felt. ;)
OH my goodness, that line always makes people flinch! We all know what's going to happen to Freddie and if this were an AU, he wouldn't have died. And yet...this is going to be tough for you if you come back. :(
Angelina worries alot, this is a character trait of hers that won't go away. So seeing Colin, Ginny and Luna at the Battle? She is terrified for them and I love that you picked up on that. She's like an old lady. Haahhaa.
And she isn't shy about talking about Voldemort either! My girl is a strong one! And she has a potty mouth. :D
Hopefully, I'll see you soon and I'll pop over to your work soon!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #22, by wytchkitty13 Epilogue: Time

4th December 2012:
That was a nice way to end it all and it was good to see that Draco wasn't all snarky and somewhat polite. There's hope for him yaay (btw I am a huge Draco fan so was nice to see a glimpse of him in the future)

Well all that I have to say is that your story was absolutely amazing!

Let's see if I can name individual parts that I liked.

-The beginning, preparing for battle and the war beginning pulled me into the story quickly. A Great way to open it.
-I was an emotional wreck from the first four chapters, then the last few but more with happy tears instead of sad ones. Still I had tears through this whole story.

-all those memories when Fred was still alive and they were all still in school together

-at the party when George and Angelina had those very close moments but he was taken- it felt like it gutted me. There he was, there she was and he was already taken.

-when they were arguing and got into that fight in her flat then ended up at St Mungo's and she was falling apart emotionally, I liked the part where Mrs. Weasley was hugging her and she was able to let out some of her emotion.
-At one point George was treating Angelina so badly that I was ready for her to just move on. I mean it was heart breaking that she was trying to show all that love and care and he was being a jerk (i know why but still...)
- then the chapter where he chased after her and they FINALLY were able to talk and cry it out. I especially liked that part where it showed the influence of the war on their current lives such as worrying about being out at night and having paranoia about Death Eaters

-I really enjoyed the whole story, I mean it's hard to pick certain parts because they all just blend together so nicely. If I mentioned everything I loved, I'd be pretty much retelling the whole story in a review xD. I would highly recommend everyone give this story a read. It's so amazing!

I think the only thing I hated in the story-not really hated but wanted to slap- was Natasha Orion. Oh that girl just wow...she's quit a nasty work lol.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story, it was truly a great read and sad to see it over. But I saw you have other stories and so I will take a look at them. Great Job on writing this!! :)

Author's Response: Hey!

So you came to the end. Sigh. I really didn't want to let it go because I had fallen in love with it, the gang and just the feel of it. It was the hardest thing I'd ever written, emotion wise and it still sort of is, next to...well, my other story, A Force of Wills. (Shameful promotion right there)
Most of the scenes that you liked so much were my favorites too! I think my utmost favorite has to be that ending though. I liked that I did put in a bit more information on Percy, Draco and George/Angie. They all sort of revolve around one another for a while so I thought it'd be neat to put in a bit more for them
Also! I had thought of making Angelina move on from George because he was starting to get on my nerves. But then I thought, "Well, this is a Georgelina! They must become ONE!" so I plowed through it and tried to explain his antics. It was not easy. T-T
Also, their ticks. I had to put in there that they had their issues with the War, I sort of hate where characters don't. Its a traumatizing thing to go through! I also think that it showed a bit more depth to both of them and those issues, if they worked together, will leave them. Hopefully. My poor dears.
But I'm so happy that you read through all of this story, it really means alot to me. I hadn't thought anyone liked this because it was barely noticed and I hadn't gotten many reviews after it was finished. But you've got me really happy and I can't thank you enough!
If you wanted to check out more of my stories and if you liked George/Angelina, you might want to try "Abandon", it was currently known as "Growth".
But! Since you like Draco Malfoy, then "A Force of Wills" might be your thing.
And if you like the idea of Percy with a stripper then try reading "This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste". AND...you could read "Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince" if you like dark comedies. Its pretty hilarious.
Hahaha.
Anyway, thanks so much!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #23, by wytchkitty13 In the End

4th December 2012:
I was wondering if Percy was going to come back and I guess he did. I loved how this chapter was filled with everyone and yaay they are having a baby!

I found it so funny when they were teasing Ron and when Ron walked in on them getting kinky! Wow I loved this chapter. So heart warming :)
Oh no...it's the end! Wow! Ah there's an epilogue well time to see how you wrap all of this up. I loved reading this story. You are brilliant!

Author's Response: Hello!

Percy did show up!!! The nerve of him, interrupting Angie and George's alone time. Poor Ron, he's just seen way too much. He has my sympathies. Hahahah.
Thanks for reading again! I couldn't help but stuff all the Weasley's into one chapter, it was hard to get it right but I managed to do it! :D
Phew!
Crap, my headphones are starting to die! Not relevant to this at all but I'm listening to sexy music. :p
Yep. Epilogue time! Enjoy that! Hahahaha.
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #24, by wytchkitty13 Everything

4th December 2012:
Ohh finally! They finally got all those feelings and thoughts out! Of course the war was hard on them, and losing Fred, really devastated George. He was holding in a lot of pain.

Oh Wow...That was so touching. LOL Natasha yaay she's gone!
What a great story, I'm really enjoying it and happy for them to be able to talk and cry things out. Whew...you've really got a talent for writing these two. Amazing job!

Author's Response: Hello!

One of my other reviewers sort of said the same thing! I'd really put her through it though and she was like, "ARGH! Finally they love each other!!!" hahahaha.
This was a particularly hard chapter to write because I wasn't sure if I'd put their emotions right but it blended well. And yes, Natasha is GONE. Gone, Gone, Gone. Forever? Well. You see her sometime later but just for a second and her kid deals with Roxanne (George and Angie's daughter) in her story. But yeah, just shamelessly promoting over here. Hahahhaa.
Thanks so much for the compliments doll! You're too sweet to me. I'm just blushing like crazy!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #25, by wytchkitty13 Floodgate

4th December 2012:
Hey when a girl tells you to leave, you either leave or get blasted lol! I really don't blame Angelina. I mean she loves George yet he insulted her, and made her feel like her love for him was sickening! He should appreciate that she loves him that much. Annoying git, so many men seem to think that way.

Argh! Alright Now I REALLY want to just slap the you know what out of Natasha. The very little bit I'm getting to know her still just makes me go grrr. lol!

At least Mrs. Weasley is understanding and comforting. Poor Angelina. I feel so bad for her but she is strong and I hope that she can find strength in herself to push on.

Author's Response: Hello!

George was asking for it. I know. I had another chapter up but it didn't work out as well and this is my second attempt. I mean, honestly, George was really, really begging for Angelina to attack him and how dare he treat her love so nastily! The prat. My poor, loveable prat. Hahaha.
Men are stupid in general.
Women shall inherit the earth!
How many people wanted to smack the crap out of Natasha? I think alot did. She's the most hated character I have, next to the deliciously wicked Draco Malfoy in my other story. Hehehe.
Mrs. Weasley! Ah, how I love her. She really comforted Angelina and what she said to her then really helped her. She'll be all right but she needed the kind words.
And a pregnant Katie.
Hahaha.
Much love,
Gabbie


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