Fantastic :D x
Love it :D x
Post soon :D xAuthor's Response: Thanks. I will try my hardest to please the readers :D Report Review
This story is amazing so far! I'm eager for the next chapter! Keep it up!! :)Author's Response: Thanks Molly! :) Report Review
Oh my god. This whole argument. Itís so Ron, Hermione and Harry. But sad at the same time. Iím kind of mad at Ron though. The girl just lost her parents for crying out loud! Get over yourself just a little and let her chill!
Again, Harry is so Harry here. He doesnít want to have to deal with their drama but he is because he cares. And, Harry, of course Ginny would take her brotherís side as well as be jealous if it looked like you were with another girl.
Not much else to say here as youíve again got the characterization down pretty well. I didnít expect for you to take the advice in this way, itís a bit more serious than I intended, but Iím not opposed to your result! In fact, itís interesting to see how this spat gets sorted out.Author's Response: It was the first thing I thought of when if got that piece of advice really. Thanks again for creating a great challenge! Report Review
Ahhh! RJ!! Iím so sorry it too me a gazillion years to get to this story! I see that youíve gone on to add to it which is great! Iím here to review now! I only had to entries to the Challenge so you can definitely consider yourself a winner! :)
That first paragraph, man, you simplify grief into just one line so simply.
You might want to reword this: ď Hermioneís Aunt Helenís living roomĒ into ďthe living room of Hermioneís Aunt HelenĒ because it flows a bit better.
ďHermione looked at me, giving me a look which made me feel so stupid. Of course she wasnít okay. How could I even ask?Ē Oh Ron, youíre always going to have at least one foot in your mouth, but thatís why youíre so good for Hermione. I like that in the middle of all this sadness, you remind us that Ron is Ron, a simple yet loyal guy.
Youíve even got the guilty!Harry in this! Spot on! And now heís meddling! Itís actually adorable that Ron is feeling embarrassed over this and that Harry is trying to make it better. Iím also thinking itís kind of inappropriate, but honestly, Iím leaning more towards cute.
OK so I hadnít finished reading the entire thing before I said the above. Hermioneís doing the normal thing, grieving rather than jumping into any other thing. Also, whatís with the Harry hugging?!?
I did notice a tendency for run-on sentences (I do that too but it was a little noticeable here) and some minor misspellings which I think you could iron out with a beta rather easily. Overall, the interaction and inner monologue of Ron was very well done. Harryís Harry but Hermione, donít quite get her, but that may be because sheís grieving.Author's Response: thanks for reading. I did kind of rush the chapter to get it up in time but I will be editing it :) Report Review
PLEASE CONTINUE! lol thats all i can say ^.^Author's Response: I will get on it. As you can see I have so many stories plus studying etc so I will try my best to update :) Report Review
You start Harry's POV with a "holy crap" moment, one that will define the dark tone of the whole chapter. One that will only add to the tension between the three.
Harry, again, handles the situation extremely well, albeit with some healthy frustration caused by Ron's daftness.They way how I see it: every rudeness, every false accusation he speaks drives an additional nail into the R/Hr coffin, so to say. No woman will endlessly bear with this crap and neither will Hermione. She will, ultimately, flee to the one person that understands and supports her.
And if Ron's idiocy weren't enough, now Ginny also starts being an idiot?
Side remark bordering a rhetoric question and concerning not only your text, but the whole of the books as well: why DRAG a heavy trunk when you are a wizard/witch and you can use a Locomotor charm to animate it???
I enjoyed this chapter even more that the first one. The continuation, please!Author's Response: well i just wanted an excuse to ask the question. also, in the castle, they always just pull their trunks :)
i'm making ginny give snide comments because she loves Harry.
tension ... tension ...
glad you liked it :D Report Review
This is one of the best stories i have ever read! I just can't wait to read more!Author's Response: oh thanks Harmoni. I tried to make it subtle. I'm glad you liked it Report Review
What happens next? You leave us hanging? :-0Author's Response: you are my favourite reviewer and thanks for reading every single story of mine. it must have taken forever!! i like to have a cliffhanger at the end of every chapter so people want to read more and i guess it worked :) Report Review
This is really good. Most of the stories where I have read about Harry being written by someone either in the first or second person, it felt really weird reading. Though here it's easy to read. You seem to really get him. I can't wait for the next chapter! Definitely in my faves! 10/10 Report Review
oh wow, i absolutely loved this!!! i actually read it twice it was so good! you portrayed all the characters exactly right and it was gorgeous writing
when are you posting a new chapter?Author's Response: the next chapter is in the queue and should be up in a few hours.
glad you liked it Report Review
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