This story has a fantastic idea behind it, and the way that you've shown Rose as a ghost is really well-done. I love how she finally finds a way to communicate, especially to Lily, as they were so close as cousins and friends, even as surrogate sisters, seeing that both only had brothers. There's a deep connection between them, and that isn't always the case in next-gen stories, so I was very glad to see it so well played out here.
It's not often that one gets to read from the point of view of a ghost, even in fanfiction, but especially not in next-gen stories. What stands out to me is that you don't go into detail about Rose's death - the hows and whys. It doesn't at all matter what happened, only that she's dead and has remained because she still connected to her family; she loves them that much. At first, I thought she was in some version of the afterlife just like the way that Harry found himself in King's Cross. But the dream-like qualities of Rose's descriptions instead reflected her ghostliness, and I liked that better, actually.
The one thing that this story lacks, though, is emotion. She's dreamy and distant, in an appropriately spectral sense, but she doesn't seem upset enough - she's too distant, almost clinical. One main example is when she states so simply that her parents wouldn't get to see their own daughter walk down the aisle like that - that should be a breaking point for Rose, but instead she passes over that comment without any feeling behind it. Maybe it's just part of her personality, but I think that adding more emotion to this story would give it more depth. It's got the potential to be incredibly moving with it's combination of humour and drama.
Otherwise, great work with this story! It's very creative and I'm glad that I got the chance to read it. :DAuthor's Response: I am really glad that you liked this one, because it is probably my favorite of my own stories especially to write. Surprisingly I didn't really know who was the main character was until I wrote her name halfway through the story. (it was between Lily and Rose to be honest) But once I established them it was easier to develop from there.
I had initially just started writing it for a challenge, but I decided not to make it so much about her death, but her 'life' after death because it seemed at least a bit more interesting.
I think maybe she doesn't show so much emotion because being dead that part of her had passed on, mostly because she can't do much about it. It might also be her personality amplified... I'm not sure lol.
Thank you so much for reviewing! It means a lot. :D Report Review
This was a really interesting story. I liked how you wrote her as someone no one could see and not an actual ghost. It sort of made me think of this book I'd read. I also liked that when she was living she was determined not to miss the wedding and even in death she wouldn't miss it. The ending was especially sweet, I liked the part about popping rose petals and how it was their thing. This was beautifully written and very cute. Good job!
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Thank you! This one was a weird one to write because for the majority of it I had no idea who she was going to be until I had Lily come down the stairs. Lol. I needed a good reason for her to stay on earth rather than moving on, and I'm glad that the wedding was good enough. And the petal thing has been a reoccuring thing in some of my stories that I love to do. Thank you so much for the sweet review, and sorry it took me forever to respond! :D Report Review
Wow. I thought it was Rose at first, but then I was like "maybe it's Lily" then Lily came down. LOL.
It was so emotional, but without being really intense, you know? Just emotional. It was amazing to read. I especially loved the end, when lily knew she was there because of what Rose did with the flower. Simple but beautiful.
Thank you for participating in my challenge. I'm glad I had this to read. :)
Sam.Author's Response: Hehe, I think the reason everyone was kept guessing for so long about who it was, was because I didn't know who I wanted it to be until then, and it was kind of a tough choice.
Anyway I am really glad you liked it, thank you so much. Also thank you for having this challenge, that was actually a challenge for me. Thank you so much again! :D Report Review
Here for review tag!
I enjoyed reading this story and I think that you came up with a really nice, unique reason for Rose to have to stay behind after she died. Many people would have immediately thought of murder, or other sorts of violent acts so it's nice to see (and be reminded) that there are other, gentler reasons to stay behind on Earth after death.
As well, I liked how you included background information on her past life smoothly into the story. It helped to give life to Rose. The rest of the Weasley family was nicely characterized and I enjoyed reading your interpretations of them.
There were a few places where the punctuation was a little messy or the sentence structure was a little odd but nothing that distracted from the reading of the story, especially since this story is composed of Rose's thoughts put directly onto paper (or, in this case, website).
I also liked the way you had her interact with the living world- unable to speak with them but capable of touching solid objects, of writing things. It seemed to fit in with the things we know about the Hogwarts' ghosts, though I was surprised when Lily rolled right through Rose in her bed.
All in all I enjoyed reading your story and I think you did a great job with this challenge!Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! I'm glad you liked it, and I know that a lot of things seemed rather odd in the way they were presented or how they happened, but it was the only way I could write it. :D Report Review
You almost made me cry, when Lily came down the stairs with a box of tissues. So sad but very good story :)Author's Response: Aww, you are the second to say that about crying! I'm very glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading! :D Report Review
Wow! It was so beautifully done! It did make me cry, but at the same time, I feel a sense of happiness. I love the ending. And I love how you've brought characters we know nearly nothing about to life and made them have depth to them. Great work!Author's Response: Really, like no joke? That is like an amazing thing to hear about it. Very unexpected, Yay! Thank you for the review! :D Report Review
It's me, here with your review :)
That was very moving and sweet, I really liked it. My favourite part just has to be the end, it's so sweet. You have nailed the split between depressing and bitter-sweet. There was a couple of typos but apart from that I can't find a grammar or spelling error. I also like the way it was nicely split into sections. Your characterisation of the Weasley-Potters is really good as well, especially Molly and Dom, Lily and Rosie were portrayed very well too.
(10/10 :) )
-Lizzfizz :DAuthor's Response: Awww thank you so much! I was very unsure about how the portrayal of it all would come across to the readers. Its good to know that I can actually pull off something like depression, instead of my usual humor. :D Yay! I'm glad you liked the characters too! This review makes me very happy, and if I weren't sick right now I would do my normal good review happy dance! Thank you so much! :D Report Review
i loved it ^_^ especially the ending...i felt so bad for rose but at the same i understood the emotions you put for her... it all fitAuthor's Response: That is really good to hear! I was very unsure about how it would all be received. Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it. :D Report Review
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