Hey there! It's DarkRose from the forums, here to review since you participated in the challenge. :]
First off, I really loved the basis of this story. I think you really delved into an important Next-Gen problem that not many authors consider.
I liked your characterization of Rose, though you know that Hermione is AU. :] I would have liked to see whether or not Dillon would be supportive of her. I wish I could've gotten more perspective on the interactions between the characters, you know?
I liked that Rose had so many internal issues though. I enjoyed figuring out her turmoil with her. And how she finally broke away at the end--great.
"Sun-sparkle" is one of the weirdest OC names I've ever come across...very Mary-Sue. Any particular reason you chose that name? Haha. Good job with her, though. She reminded me of Luna.
Well done, overall. I liked it quite a bit and I'll PM you on the forums soon with the results of the challenge. :]
--EmilyAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! The challenge was definitely...well...challenging!
The first thing that came to my mind when I saw that my title was "Prove It" was a boyfriend pronouncing their love to Rose or something, and her telling him to prove it. I tried to stray from that because that's one of the first things that readers would expect.
I'm not sure where Sun-sparkle came from, but she was 100% influenced by Luna. I wanted to take her to the next level though by having her parents be totally spaced out hippies (not unlike Luna's) and have Sun-sparkle have not a care in the world and be in her own little bubble.
I can't wait to see the results, all of the entries I've read have been great! Report Review
I liked this, you did a great job! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
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