Reading Reviews for Whispers
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp Shh

13th March 2013:
Wow. This was just brilliant. I envy your writing Annie!

Honestly speaking, I didn't understand this right away and I was even confused enough to re-read the first two paragraphs twice. But after that, it started making more sense and I simply lost myself in the beauty of your writing. The ending of course tied everything together and all of it fell into place with a resounding click in my mind xP

I really loved your writing style. The way you managed to balance the use of "you", "I", and "she" was very well done. I can never attempt it because I am scared of confusing myself as well as the reader, so I applaud you for attempting it and doing it so well. I admit I got confused in the beginning but it was all fine as I continued reading, so good job. I also enjoyed your use of the short sentences. Sometimes, they can disrupt the flow of writing but here it was all done very well - they even matched the theme of the one-shot.

I liked your portrayal of Draco, and the comparisons he made between his wife and Pansy. I also felt a little sad for him as he wondered about how things would be (sort of) if he was marrying Pansy and not the OC, and if Pansy was not almost in love with the other man (that was what happened right).

Your imagery was simply amazing by the way. I was totally engrossed while reading. I could visualize Pansy as this delicate flower (which is something) and all that, and it was just mind-blowing. I was really lost in all your words and descriptions, and that is all I have to say =)

This was over all a great piece of writing. It had a very smooth flow, with beautiful imagery, awesome descriptions, and amazing theme and writing style.

10/10

Cheers!
Angie
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #2, by NataliieW Shh

10th February 2013:
Omg that was... A M A Z I N G

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it. :)

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Review #3, by The Last Marauder Shh

18th July 2012:
Wow just wow! This was absolutely fantastic! I loved all your short sentences, it really made the story. I also love how it was all in the third person, with no names used, until the end when the words My Pansy appear.

I don't even know what do say, this has just left me speechless. You've conveyed so much in 900 words, it's amazing! Usually I don't like stories this short, but this is the exception. It was brilliant.

I love the refrain of Shh they'll hear you - it has a poetic ring to do, and it, along with the short sentences, and the third person gives it the effect of a prose poem.

I just can't get over how fantastic this is. You write so elequantly. 10/10 BRILLIANT STUFF

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Review #4, by littlemissmb Shh

8th March 2012:
This story highly confused me.

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Review #5, by accioHPFF Shh

8th December 2011:
This was really quite different from anything I've ever read before and I think you've done a good job.

Although it is slightly confusing, I love how you approached it. I think the way that you wrote it was great - I loved the closing paragraph.

It felt very deep and intense as I read it, and the imagery you used was fantastic.

I don't really know what I can say! I loved it, but maybe to improve this, try to make it slightly clearer. I wish I could read more stories written in this style, because I think overall, this is a job well done. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, and I'm glad you liked it. I'm currently working on making it more clear, as I agree with you that it is confusing. Thanks so much! :D

Annie


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Review #6, by Perelandra Shh

11th October 2011:
Hey, its Perelandra here with your review.

While you had a good idea to have short sentences and the questions I think it wasn't executed that well. Because you're limiting yourself to explaining this story through one POV and short sentences, the details and description not only get confusing but also lost. In the beginning, is the 'you' Pansy? Who is the 'he' you're referring to? Pansy's boyfriend? Is this happening in a social gathering or Draco's wedding?

I do like, however, how you portrayed the other girl. Draco's wife. She seems manipulative, in a way, what what little you told us. She wanted Draco and she got him. The last two paragraph you can really tell Malfoy's agony of not being with Pansy, and I liked that.

Anyway, that is it. I hope you don't think I'm being too mean. Sorry if I do cross that way. Just my honest opinion.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, and I'm going to try to iron it out after NaNo. I really appreciate the time you took to review my story, and the constructive criticism is very helpful in improving my writing. :)
Annie


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Review #7, by academica Shh

11th October 2011:
This was wonderful. Hauntingly beautiful and very sad, and so well-written. I really love your use of second person here. It makes Draco's words very personal, and they really cut into me, almost as if he were speaking directly to me, except I was Pansy. Anyway, this just goes to show that you wrote very effectively. You instilled authentic feelings in the reader.

The imagery was fantastic. I have this mental juxtaposition of Pansy as a delicate, pretty flower and then as a powerful woman, all grown up and facing the tragedies of life. The inclusion of the little girls' game adds another layer to the effect you've created. That is, the thing reads with a superficial layer of innocence and a deeper darkness underneath. Your words had me dizzy, and I loved it!

So simple, yet so effective. Very well done! :)

academica

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the amazing review! Not only is your writing amazing, but your reviews just make me sit in awe. Thanks for the swap! :)

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Review #8, by forsakenphoenix Shh

11th October 2011:
I really liked the way that you wrote this. The short sentences, the questions, the wondering. I think sometimes short sentences are awkward and the story is read at a faster pace than intended but I think it fit the flow of the story. I thought it was more...secretive, I guess? Short messages passed along in a whisper.

I loved your descriptions in this, especially the comparison between the two girls and the role Draco has and will be playing in each of their lives. I liked this line too: But she is hardly a girl anymore. I think it says a lot about Draco's wife without actually saying it in so many words. I love when authors do that and do it well. :)

Okay, I'm sorry if I get this wrong but I'm going to try and work out what exactly is going on because while I love the flow, the characters and the descriptions, I'm still a bit lost in the plot. So...Draco is marrying an OC, yes? But he still has feelings for Pansy, who is almost in love with another man, and he wonders how his life would have been had it been Pansy he was marrying rather than this OC though he knows that their relationship ended long ago? I'm sorry if I'm completely off but I THINK that's what was going on. Can you clarify if I'm totally dumb and don't get it?

So yeah, aside from me being slightly confused, I really enjoyed this one-shot. I don't read much Draco so I can't really comment too much on his characterization but I enjoyed what I read - the contemplation about his failed and current relationship, the comparison to a butterfly pinned with no wings to fly away anyway - it's all very lovely. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much and you've got the story right, so don't worry. I'm going to have to edit it into something more understandable, since I had trouble figuring out what was happening upon rereading it, and I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the review!

Annie


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Review #9, by Levana Shh

9th October 2011:
This was so good! I thought the descriptions were really good. I could really imagine the scene in the story.

"And you will never be mine. Except in the flowers. My Pansy. You will watch me from the flowers." these were my favorite lines in the story I thought they were really sad, but sweet at the same time

Overall great great great job! 10/10 :D

~Levana

Author's Response: *squish* Thanks so much for the review and I'm glad you liked it! :D
(h) Annie


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