Emma and Remus were really cute :) The last 2 lines there seemed a bit repetitive though, I think that cutting it down to just one of them would be fine. I think it'd be a good idea to add some food from the kitchens, maybe some music. You did seem to make the truth or dare game slightly less cliche by adding the secret about being a black, but having something else to do might have helped too. Just some thoughts :) Report Review
That was really good! I can't wait to find out more! There was only one part I didn't get though, what is Bella's animagus, a cat named tiger or a tiger that is able to hang around in train stations without scaring people? Other than that though, it was awesome. Please post a new chapters soon!Author's Response: Oh, sorry about the confusion. (Sorry aboout my spelling!) She's the first one on the platform and James and Sirius know she's an animagus.
I will try to post more chapters soon. Please hang in there!
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Aw, don't worry I have the same problem with tense. I still haven't figured out if I want to keep things present tense like I've been trying to do, or just do past tense and keep things simple... I don't know.
Anyway, I do love this idea of having a few people close to them in the Heads' Room! Plus people seem to forget that the Heads even get their own room, so good job :)
The one thing that made the end a bit awkward was the messaging back and forth with her Owl, I get you wanted to have people know she can see incredibly far away, 'cause there's something different about her we don't entirely know yet, I'm just not sure that was the way to go about it. Maybe one or 2 messages but 10 was a bit much. Either way, I really love this story :) great job! I can't wait for the next chapter :)Author's Response: Yeah. In fact, I didn't realize there were Head Dorms until I started reading HPFF. I've been rushing to put out chapters that I sort of add more than I need to. Sorry about that! I will definatly be working on that. (And my spelling skills without first checking Word. Sorry 'bout spelling errors!)
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I really like this idea a lot! You seem to have really gotten inside all the characters already so the story's opened like we all already know them. Even the characters you've made up :)
There was one typo that's easily fixed, and that is just putting an 'e' at the end of Dumbledore :) you kept leaving it off by accident. Anyway, it's a great start of the story and I can't wait to see where you go with it :)Author's Response: I have to be the world's worst speller! So sorry about any spelling errors.
Many of my characters I base of realy people in my life, so it makes it easier to place them in stories.
The character, Emma, is based of my best friend, btw. :)
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Hey, Fawks! Love this chapter, really well done!!! Yay! I love Emma (heehee) and Lily and Alice! Great job! Can't wait to see what you come up with next! I'm waiting for validation on a new story, so keep an out for it! It's a Marauder fanfic.
PS- I'm sticking by what I said about Stripes and Sirius. : )Author's Response: Thanks Moony!
I still don't know 'bout Stripes and Sirius... Report Review
A very nice start. I loved the Tiger bit, I've never come across anything like that (or close to) before. This story really sounds interesting so far. So update soon adding to favs and 10/10.Author's Response: Yeah, I love tigers, so that's where I got the idea. If you continue to look for chapters and stories by me, you might just find some of my deepest desires and secrets.
Thanks for your review,
Fawks5 Report Review
Wow! This is pretty good! The grammar is a bit awkward, but it's a very good plot. I like that the relationship between Sirius and Stripes isn't moving too quickly, and that it's not comeplete fluff. It's very well-written. Overall, nicely done!Author's Response: Sorry about the late response, but thanks for the review! Thanks for the heads up on grammar, I'll try to work on it in future chapters.
Again, thanks so much for the review! :) Report Review
Oh my, great job! Really, it was fantastic! It seems really realistic, and I love James and all the others too! Stripes is so cool, and I love her point of view! Great job, and upload soon!! Or else... : )Author's Response: Thanks Moony. I know I can always count on you for reviews. I hope to review soon, so, keep watching! Report Review
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