This story made me feel like I was daydreaming. It was so poetic and was such a beautiful and heartwarming piece. It was very well-written and I really enjoyed reading this! It was a job well done!Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much! You have no idea how much this review made my day, really, I didn't know people were still reading it. Just, thanks! :D Report Review
Awesome! Very descriptive and abstract. This was an original idea that was brilliantly executed! Congrats : )Author's Response: Naww, thanks so much! xoxo Report Review
Hi there! I'm here with your review as requested. First, I just want to apologize for the extremely long wait. I'm so sorry about that. I've been pretty busy with school work and such, and my queue has just been huge these days. So it gook me longer than I would have hoped, but I finally made time for this. Thank you for being so patient! And I'm glad you requested!
And this was a great little piece! It was wonderful and I enjoyed every bit of it. So glad you requested from me because I got to read this great piece.
In such little time, you really set up a great story and dove into the plot right off the bat.
I loved how you separated everything into sections with the verbs of dreaming, etc. And your descriptions. I liked that they were vague, actually. You used short and abrupt descriptions, and I actually feel like that did a lot for your piece It really said a lot about what was going on and what was to be felt in so few words. It had a lot of meaning and emotion to it and really captured your reader. You definitely pulled me in.
With that technique, it almost felt poetic to me, you know? Kinda like I was floating on a cloud or something. :P
Anyways, this was brilliant. And so unique and such a creative plot. And also just such a different and wonderful way to go about expressing the story! Just marvelous all around!
I can't recall any mistakes, so that's wonderful! Really great job, and I wish I had something more to say, but I don't. This was just fantastic.
Wonderful job, and I'm so glad you requested. I hope this was somewhat helpful to you! Thanks! I loved it!Author's Response: It's alright, I took forever responding to this anyway. :)
I am so glad you enjoyed this little piece, it was the first time I have ever wrote something like this and it is rather special to me.
I wanted the reader to feel as if they were reading a form of twisted poem, if you get what I mean.
Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing this! It means so much to me. xoxo Report Review
I love this! the writing is so smooth and gentle and i love how it's chunked up into sections, very classy and understandable :)
I like the mysterious beginning and how the plot seems to unravel it self, it has a smooth flow and everything folds into each other well! I always have trouble writing One-shots and it's great the way you've basically discribed half a lifetime in such short sentences :)
Im so sorry this is a short review but im trying to clear out my thread :) re-request any time!
Good luck, bella xAuthor's Response: Hiya Bella!
Thanks so much for leaving this kind review, I'm so glad you like this, It's one of my favorite pieces.
xoxo Report Review
That is a truly beautiful idea...
I used to have loads of dreamcatchers when I was little and this story reminds me of them :)
Elphias xxAuthor's Response: Dream catchers are absolutely beautiful. Thanks so much for your kind review!
xoxo Report Review
I really liked it, the way it was so fairytale. Some of the sections were a little short but it's a one-shot and not meant to be really really long. I liked the way you cleverly weaved the Weasleys into the story and the dreamcatcher idea was really clever. The description at the beginning was beautiful and the selfish girl called Sophie was quite realistic as a character. Really liked the sort-of bitter/happy ending thing like in those old fairytales. Really nice one-shot! :)
-Lizzfizz xAuthor's Response: Hello Lizzie!
I wanted it to seem like a romantic form of fairy tale without the romance, If you get that. XD
My original idea was to not do names until the very end, but I guess Lily really wanted to tell. Sophie is a favorite of mine, because even though you barely know her she is the most realistic. Thank you so much for your review! : ) xx Report Review
Cassius Alcinder here with your review.
Your use of descriptive language was excellent; the story seemed to have an ephemeral dream-like feel to it. The flow between paragraphs and sections was overall very smooth.
My only minor complaint is that it didn't seem quite clear who the protaganist was until the last section, but maybe that's just me.
Overall its a very well written story. Thanks for requesting!Author's Response: Hello Cassius Alcinder! :D
Aww! Thank you! I really wanted people to see that as time went by nothing really changed between Lily and Sophie.
Thanks for the review! : ) Report Review
First of all very well done on writing your first one shot like this. I found it very enthrawling.
The story drew me in because even without a name the person in the story seemed to have an identity which made me want to read on.
My only critisism is that the seperate subtitles for each little bit make it a little confusing as its disjointed but thats only my opinion
Ginerva_molly_weasleyAuthor's Response: Thanks so much!
I do rather love this piece at the moment, so thank you so much!
That's alright, I wasn't sure how people would take the subtitles but I'm happy with them. For now... : ) Report Review
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review. And can I just say - I loved it.
Your descriptions were lovely! Some of my favorites:
- "A world threaded full of dreams."
- "The beauty of the the forest that she lived in was fraying around the edges."
- "She stole them from the owner, pressing them into the threads of the catcher and using them to make her own perfect world."
- "The fraying of the edges were slowly turning into big gaping holes of guilt."
There were a couple awkward points: in the fourth paragraph of the first section, I think that "ribbon" should be plural because "winds" is, and "sea of rainbow" felt a bit awkward to me. I also didn't love "strong nostalgic feelings of yearning" - it just felt like it was a bit too wordy. In the third section, fourth paragraph, "red heads" should really be one word, and it should be possessive. Other than those, though, your descriptions were just so poetic and haunting - your prose is really quite outstanding.
I thought that the pace was perfect up until the last two sections. I wish you'd spent a little more time on the significance of discovering that she has a name for the dream catcher girl, and how she feels about Lily tossing the dream catcher into the fire. I also wanted to see a little more - not much more, but a little more, maybe a sentence of two - of how Lily came to realize that the dream catcher was stealing her dreams.
Before that, however, I saw no faults; the progression from dreaming to stealing to guilt was flawless and natural, and even "realization" and "burning" sections were nicely laid out and went from one to the next naturally - they just felt a little rushed.
This is really a lovely piece. Thank you so much for requesting.Author's Response: Hello Beeezie!
Aww, I love some of those. My brain seemed to have been working when I wrote them. XD
I think sometime in the future I will come back to this and re-write those last two paragraphs. They don't make me want to cry... yet. I will look over them in a year and possibly run away screaming but for now I shall leave them. I wrote this all in one go and haven't changed much since. I guess that's why they call them one-shots yeah? ;)
Hehe, thank you for some of those amazing complements, you just made my day/year. Report Review
I liked it. I'm not usually into these types of one-shots, but it kept me interested and I enjoyed it.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you understood it and it kept you interested. I was so freaked that I would be the only one to have some form of idea what it was about. : ) Report Review
Hello there :)
This was such a sweet little one-shot! I wish I could write one-shots like this, but I'm not very confident with the mysterious qualitly like this one had. You did this wonderfully, for being the first time you wrote something like this. Great job! It had a very dreamy quality to it-very fitting xD
~Sara (puppyluv242)Author's Response: Hello!
Aww, thank you! It's alright, you have no idea how freaked I was when this came out of validation. Just keep trying. : )
Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
That was great! So different from anything else I've read on here. I like how you did it as well great job jess :)Author's Response: Thanks Hun! : ) Report Review
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