Reading Reviews for The First Year
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Romania

15th January 2013:
Hello, it's patronus_charm from the review tag again ;)

I think you captured Charlie's thoughts really well, and it could really imagine that it was him. Just the little things such as, him being secretly pleased to escape his many siblings, and his lack of girlfriends! (That's still a mystery to me!)

I thought that Charlie and Nicole's relationship was a little rushed, as you didn't leave much time to introduce her, or let the reader adjust to the fact that a girl liked Charlie.

I did enjoy that last scene with both of them though. Who knew Charlie could be such a romantic? I thought it was nice that you portrayed that side of him, showing that he's not just a tough dragon keeping guy, that he can be a softy at heart.

Overall, I thought though it felt a little rushed and lacking in description at times, it was a nice story on how Charlie settled into Romania, as I had never thought what the inital stage must have been like for him! Kiana :)

Author's Response: Yeah this oneshot was pretty rushed and I think it probably would have been better suited as a short story to really get to know my oc character but I wanted to explore Charlies character and this was for a challenge and I didn't have long to get this story up. I'm glad you like the idea of him and what it was like for him to get settled into his new job away from the chaos that is his rather large family. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #2, by Miriel Romania

14th April 2012:
Hi there! It's Miriel with your swapped review!

I chose this story from you Page because I didn't read too much about Charlie Weasley until now.

I liked the way you pictured his character, and everything you wrote about him was very believable. I especially liked the part about him missing home, although he was glad at first that he wasn't around so many people anymore.

I noticed a grammar error, there's that line in which you write:
" My first actual day on the job is tomorrow and my nerves were going a kilometer a minute." I would change "is" into "was", since the whole story is written in past tense.

But that's just a minor detail, and nothing that disturbed the flow of the story.

Nicole is an interesting character, too. I like the fact that she works with dragons. Mostly you would think that dragon training is a job for males. She seems to be strong, and I loved it when she started to leave and waited until Charlie asked her to stay.

All in all, I enjoyed this story a lot! great job!

Miriel

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful! I'm so glad that you liked Charlies character and that of Nicole! Ah thank you for pointing out that small error I will try and fix it sometime. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #3, by adluvshp Romania

12th February 2012:
Tag :D

Well this was a nice little story. I think you gave an insight into Charlie which was quite different. I would have appreciated some more description on Nicole and her relationship with Charlie though. Over all it was a good story, though I kind of think it was a little rushed.

Rest, everything's nice.

7/10

Cheers!
AD
(aditidraco95)

Author's Response: Yeah I know the bit with Nicole is a bit rushed and needs some work but I needed to get it finished for a challenge due date. I'm really glad that you liked it though! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #4, by WitnesstoitAll Romania

7th January 2012:
Gotta love a good charlie weasley story.

I like the structure of this -- the random mini scenes showing Charlie's first year away from his family -- and I loved the voice you gave to him. My only (very small) critique would be that when you introduce Nicole into this story, the entire theme seems to shift from the family to her almost immediately. I think this is fantastic... eventually, love and relationships take priority over immediate family, I just think the change in priority in Charlie's mind could have been a bit more gradual. Otherwise, this was a very effective one shot.

Perhaps one more edit would help to polish up a few faulty verb tenses here and there... but really, nothing too serious.

Great one shot!

Author's Response: this really was something new for me to try, the bits of times here and there usually i have only done a story in one day if its a oneshot rather then showing multiple days so i'm glad you liked that. I know I need to work on the bit with Nicole but i had needed to get this into the queue right away because of a deadline for the challenge entry. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #5, by academica Romania

5th January 2012:
Hey! Thanks for the swap :) I never see anyone write Charlie, so I thought I'd come by and check this out.

I thought the first part was really sweet. I can imagine that it would be hard to have to do everything around the house on your own when you're used to Molly Weasley cooking and cleaning up after you all the time. The book was a nice touch!

I feel so sorry for Charlie, what with his loneliness. I can definitely understand where he's coming from, because I work long days and hardly ever have the energy to go out at night. I'm glad his friends came through on his birthday, though.

The only critique I have is that this seemed a little rushed to me. I would have liked to see a little bit of a connection between the broad jumps in time and action, though I understand not wanting to ramble on and on about insignificant events. Still, this was a very interesting story!

Great job :)

Amanda

Author's Response: Yeah I dont think Charlie is written much so I wanted to take a stab at it. I'm glad that you like the way i have him. I felt that being away from such a big and close family for the first time would be really hard and lonely and wanted to include that in here but also how he became friends with people. It is a bit rushed especially towards the end since i was doing it for a challenge and the deadline was coming up so i needed to get it in. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #6, by SilentConfession Romania

6th November 2011:
Hi hi chica!!

It's SilentConfession for our swap :D

Alrigh my first impression of this was that it's super sweet and i really loved reading about Charlie. There is hardy anything about him on the archive so i'm so pleased that you took him on. I really adored this line "I never knew how alone, alone felt." Ah! It was perfect and i think it was perfect in describing how it must have felt for him after always being around people. Especially after the novelty of have his own space wears off. Also i loved how you described his independance because i feel that was who Charlie was. Someone who could take care of himself.

I think you also captured the emotions he must have felt though when you move to a new place and are still trying to find you place in it. And i adored the relationship with Molly, so sweet and i felt she was SO in character!

I'm a little curious about his reationship with Nicole, i felt like they were make-out buddies or something. I know they weren't but maybe a scene where we learn why they worked so well together. But everyone needs some love at some point and i'm curious to know what happened to them! Great job! :D

Author's Response: Wow! thanks I will get to your review here in a moment hopefully (had to work). Thanks so much for the wonderful review! I'm really glad you liked it and thought I did a good job protraying his emotions. I tried to keep them in character are as much as i could so I'm glad you think that Molly is in character. Yeah the relationship bit.. I'm not really sure but I might do a sequal to this about those two because I actually dont see them having the happy ending and would like to expand on their relationship but I needed to get this in for the deadline for a challenge. Thanks so much for your time and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #7, by ariellem Romania

27th October 2011:
Ariellem from the review swap!

I picked this one because there aren't that many stories out there about Charlie (or if there are I haven't seen them). This one didn't disappoint, I would have liked to seen a sequel about Nicole and Charlie though. They are pretty cute. :)

Author's Response: glad you enjoyed my oneshot about Charlie! and I'm glad you liked Charlie and Nicole together!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #8, by CloakAuror9 Romania

14th October 2011:
Hello! It is I! From the forums.

Okay, I have never ever read a Charlie story. So... I don't know what to say really, I'll just base on what I see. Well first, the story does make sense even if you had little snippets. You put enough information to make the story flow quiet easily. The emotions Charlie or you out in the story was really great, I mean the homesick thing was great. And I loved it!

Goodluck on your challenge!
CloakAuror9 xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed my oneshot and liked how I had Charlie!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #9, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Romania

13th October 2011:
I've never read a Charlie fic before. I really don't think I have so this was interesting! Charlie needs love. I enjoyed this, the writing style was different because I felt like you really got into his head and thought about every emotion he would have felt. For instance you talk about the way he felt moving, leaving his family and how lonely he was. The loneliness I could really feel! I was really sad for him because it just seemed like too much (which makes it entirely believable). I think the only thing I could critique is his relationship with Nicole. There wasn't really an explanation behind it, it seems it just sort of happened and I think I would have like them to have an actual conversation. But I suppose since the entire focus is on him it's not entirely necessary. I chuckled at the letters he was getting from Molly, you didn't even have to add her in the story and I got a sense of who she is (and it stayed to canon). Great job!

Author's Response: Wow! I'm so glad that you think I did a good job with the emotions and that they were believable. I will try and fix that part about their relationship if i ever decide to go back and redo the oneshot. I'm glad you enjoyed my letters from Molly and that you think I kept her in canon. Thank you so much for your review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #10, by Owlpost68 Romania

11th October 2011:
I really like the idea for this story, that you went into what it was like for him to first leave the burrow. What I don't quite understand is how him and Nicole started talking. I know she's good with dragons, but I'd have liked to see them have a conversation or something to show more about her. Maybe about her family. Also I'd love to know how he got the job there, who gave it to him? what did he do to get there? I'd also like to know more about his friends, how did they find out it was his birthday to just come over like that?
These were just a few questions that came to mind, it was nice to see Charlie as a little unsure of himself since it was his first time out of the burrow, you portrayed that very well :)
Good luck on your challenge!

Author's Response: I will keep that in mind if i ever decide to fix the oneshot to add in them talking or something so that their relationship isn't just out of the blue. I'm glad you liked my oneshot and that I portrayed his first year away from the burrow well. Thank you so much for the review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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