Reading Reviews for Life's No Fairytale
  
84 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jonathanitb Freckles, Crups and Too Many Weasleys

3rd September 2012:
Just read from the beginning to here (so I'm reviewing the book so far), THE STORY IS EXCELLENT! I generally am not someone who reads much, but this has really made me want to carry on reading :)

Can't wait for more!

~Jon

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Review #2, by TimeSeer Freckles, Crups and Too Many Weasleys

22nd August 2012:
This is an amazing chapter! Please update soon!

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Review #3, by ginerva_molly_weasley Unexpected Visitor

5th August 2012:
Oh now this really is intriguing. I like this chapter as it quickly links on from the cliff hanger you left in the last chapter!

Kestrel doesn't seem to recover very quickly and I think that is very interesting since it is rather realistic that after passing out, the person would be quite disorientated, confused and embarrassed in a way as she fainted in front of the whole school.

I like the idea of Kestral having a thinking tree. It just gives her the opportunity to get away from everyone and just think about what has happened. I can see that being a very useful plot device in the few weeks to come. I also like how out of the way it is because the ministry officials couldn't find her. I like the fact that James found her on a whim during quidditch practice although I think in reality he probably went out looking for her?

Harry is an interesting character. I understand he's sceptical about the triwizard tournament and starting it up again, it just seems like a way to start up the old times of terror when Voldemort was around and I think that's what Harry's trying to say! I hope James doesn't do anything stupid!

Feel free to rerequest!

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Review #4, by Emely Unexpected Visitor

21st July 2012:
Hey,
I really like yor writting. Your style is pretty awesome and I like the Idea of somebody completely out of the HP series being at Hogwarts. But the whole story is not really plausible... Why would Prof. McGonnagall have a Competition that is not save? And who would want to hurt who? And why is Harry talking to her and not McGonnagall? She seems pretty stupid in the story and not as wise as we know she is... Yeah, I really love your style but the story does not really make sence and has not enough magic in it... sorry...

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Review #5, by Juicey_Moosey Freckles, Crups and Too Many Weasleys

21st July 2012:
Sweetie, an amazing chapter as usual!
Sorry this is short, I'm just about to leave for Buller :D
I'm liking her and James...They has chemistry init bruv ;)
Thanks for the shout out hun :) xxx

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Review #6, by Ravenclaw_Charm Unexpected Visitor

18th June 2012:
Hey, Ravenclaw_Charm here with your requested review. I cannot say how terribly sorry I am about how long this took. RL has been busy for the past few months, but I've finally found some free time! :) Anyway, on to the review.

CHARACTERIZATION:
I love all your characters, especially Kestrel. She's such a unique OC, and I feel like I really relate to her. She's very complex, and I enjoy reading her thoughts. You've written her very well - awesome job! In addition, I'm very curious to find out what happened to her, why she doesn't like getting close to people. Harry was also written well; I thought he was quite close to canon but in a more adult sense. I love how Kestrel respects him; that was my favorite line in this chapter. (I've always respected Harry Potter - and that's about as close to emotion that I get - because he never cared what others thought of him. He carried on doing what he knew was right, even when people were calling him a liar and a lunatic.) I also can't wait to see more of James; he seems very sweet and definitely his father's son, so it will be interesting to see how you write him and his interactions with Kestrel.

DESCRIPTIONS:
I love your descriptions! I really felt like I was there, so good job!

EMOTIONS:
The emotions at the beginning of the chapter were a real high point here. I could really feel Kestrel's anxiety, and it really helped me get into the chapter.

GRAMMAR:
I didn't find anything - yay!

PACE/FLOW:
All good here :) I want to add that I loved the stomach and throat face, and the transition from this to words being a weapon was great.

I'm really interested to read what happens next! Keep writing! Good job :)

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Review #7, by skycat17tws I Meet New People

5th June 2012:
hee hee hee rosy posy!
p.s. is richard fit or what...

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Review #8, by skycat17tws The Locket

5th June 2012:
hee hee lol. very dramatic... what will happen to her... well i already know coz i read ur notebook...lolz

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Review #9, by skycat17tws The Task

5th June 2012:
ooh, dramatic... love ya, from ur sis

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Review #10, by skycat17tws Letters from Home

5th June 2012:
heehee love u. was finn named after our dog? just a question... love this chappie!

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Review #11, by skycat17tws Unexpected Visitor

5th June 2012:
love u sis! this is a suprise for when u get back to england! gr8 story love u! like i love freddy inj wildchild which mum finally let me watch! ;)

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Review #12, by patroni I Meet New People

28th May 2012:
I am intrigued by this story and you've done a good job of creating a complex and intricate world. I particularly like the small glimpses you've given us of Kestrel's family (I really like Finn!)- just enough and not too much. I'm looking forward to the rest of it. I think Kestrel's past has to do with the death of her mother, and with her being involved with it in some way (albeit unintentionally). There are two things I'm not entirely convinced by, though. Firstly, given that McGonagall is known for her sound judgement and integrity, why would she introduce and endorse the Hogwarts Cup when there are- as Harry has said- serious problems with it and a not-so-honourable agenda? Or is it someone else's decision and not hers? The second, and this the only constructive (I hope!) criticism I have for your otherwise engaging story: why Kestrel should have been chosen to compete. She does seem to be a gifted witch to be creating her own spells, but there's no other reference to any prowess, apart from her obvious agility in climbing trees. And you haven't really shown us the reaction of other students to her selection so I'm confused as to whether she was an obvious choice (the evidence suggests otherwise) and, if she wasn't, why there wasn't more of an outcry, and why McGonagall chose her in the first place.

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Review #13, by RosieQueen The Task

28th May 2012:
It's Rosie with your requested review! :)

Another amazing chapter! I keep getting more and more excited over this tournament! I especially loved all the detail and description in this chapter.

Ugh...Rita Skeeter. Do you hate your OC or something? Because you keep torturing her! (Even though it's very amusing to read about Kestrel's troubles, hehe.) I mean, "Potter's Girl?" That is nation-wide attention and humiliation for Kestrel! She deserves cookies. *Nods*

As much as I hate Rita Skeeter, I have to admit you characterized her perfectly. Humiliating Kestrel for the sake of a news headline definitely seems like something she would do.

As I mentioned above, I loved the detail and description in this chapter. I also like your way of telling the story- you build up suspense for later chapters with all the reporters and the interviews (not to mention the house champion bonding time!)

This was, by far, the most amusing chapter so far. Who doesn't enjoy reading about meddling reporters? And the bits of James/Kestrel romance. Great job!

~Rosie

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Review #14, by CloakAuror9 The Locket

19th May 2012:
Hey there!

Why is Kestrel so mean to James? No offence or anything, but I feel like she's just being unfair to him now without even much of a reason. but then again, maybe there is a reason, but I'm not just spotting it. Meh.

I really love the closeness of Finna and Kestrel! I wish I had that kind of relationship with my brother *sigh*.

I think as we progress more and more into the story more things make sense and I'm always going 'Ahhh! Interesting!" Believe it or not. I just can't wait for the whole actual Games (oh wow. look at that, Games. Hunger Games. ahahah!) to start.

I'm also wondering how James feels about all of this? I mean, what does he think about Kestrel just hating on him? Gah! So many questions left unanswered, update update! hahaha!

Anywho, I thought you wrote another awesome chapter and keep up the good work! :D

Ta,
CloakAuror9 xx
Recenseo 2012

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Review #15, by HappyMollyWeasley Letters from Home

18th May 2012:
Hello there! This is HappyMollyWeasley here with your long time delayed review... Thank you for re-requesting! :-)

This chapter brings your story forwards, which is good, I think. I thought the letter from Finn was far too long, though. I found myself skimming it instead of reading it properly. Maybe because Finn is writing about OC's that we don't know anyting about (yet?).

I like the interaction with James. That's where the chapter becomes interesting and enjoyable.

I have to say that I find Kestrel a bit too sulking and grumpy. It makes it hard for me to feel conncted to her. Maybe you could show some of her positive sides too?

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Review #16, by apocalypse Letters from Home

17th May 2012:
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your review!

Let's start off with areas of concern, shall we?

Plot: I like how you didn't spend time on building up the background, working on irrelevant details but instead you hit the topic instantly. It proved to be a plus point for your story since its sure going to help attract the readers and make them stick to it for a long time; depending on the upcoming chapters and the twists and turns. =) The plot is quite fresh and I like the slight modifications in the competition and the fact that the Hogwarts administration has decided to resume with these sort of activities. So over all, your plot's developing on just the right pace you're right on track. =) good job!

Characterization: I LOVED Finn's letter. Seriously! It tells so much about her character, I actually enjoyed reading it and was laughing out loud at some points. Her letter wasn't monotonous at all! She jumped from topic to topic and didn't look awkward. The speed, pace, material was just too good! I could totally understand what Kestrel meant when she said that she liked long letters it helped her escape the present setting or whatever; you get
my point! =) Well done!

I liked the idea of the whole team bonding session and Kestrel's sarcastic comments on it. Very entertaining! However Kestrel was a bit mean to James, I mean he was just trying to be nice or seem interested. James' character is still in the developing process so I choose not to comment on it in this review. I hope you don't mind that. =)

You're handling Kestrel's characterization pretty well. She seemed like a very interesting character. However it's hard to imagine someone like her falling for James or taking part in something as bold and daring as the competition. It's going to be fun seeing you pair her up with someone like James. =) I am so looking forward to the whole drama, resentment and romance. =p

Flow: It was pretty good. The paragraphs were linked pretty well. =) However the part during the team bonding session: the page break was unnecessary and Kestrel's thoughts weren't paragraphed correctly. I mean one properly lined, detailed paragraph would have been better than those tiny two lines. It would've given a better impression. I hope you know what I mean.

Anyway, a very good chapter! I really liked it. I'm sorry for being late and I'm sorry that I'll only be able to review one chapter for this request of yours. I have a lot workload and so I'll review the next chapter when you re-request again. Sorry for the inconvenience. =) Hope you don't mind. Until next time, Good Luck and Happy Writing! =D

~Recenseo '12

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
Plot has been the thing I have struggled most with - whether it's believable, whether it's interesting etc - so what you said really encouraged me. Thank you :)
I'm so glad you liked Finn's letter. I enjoyed writing it a LOT :D I get what you mean about Kestrel being rude to James. I guess that's who she is, but she will get better as the story continues.
I'll try to fix the paragraphing. Re-reading it, I realise how choppy it seems, so thank you for that :)
I'll make sure to re-request!
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #17, by RosieQueen Letters from Home

16th May 2012:
It's Rosie with your requested review! :)

Poor Kestrel. When will I ever stop feeling sorry for her? I know how she feels- I hate attention. Anyway, I love how you incorporate more depth to Kestrel's character. She's so interesting to read about- her thoughts are interesting, and her actions, too. I've honestly never read a fic about a socially awkward person. :P

I loved Finn's letter- so interesting, and random! Suddenly, I like Finn. :)

This was a really funny chapter. Especially with the "James and Kestrel bonding time." Very amusing; especially when James wasn't surprised by Kestrel's huge family because his own family was bigger than hers. :D

One thing I'm noticing when you're writing Kestrel's thoughts is that you separate each thought. For example:

"This is fun.

Yup. Iím having the time of my life here. Canít wait to do more of this in the future.

Hang on a minute. This has to be some abuse of human rights. Itís got to be."

^You don't need to separate each thought. You can simply have each of these thoughts in one paragraph. It makes it easier to read. It's definitely not a big deal, though. I still really enjoyed this chapter!

This keeps getting more and more interesting! :D
*Cough* re-request *Cough*

~Rosie

Author's Response: Thank you for another lovely review.
I had a lot of fun with Finn's letter, so I'm glad you liked it :) I think she's one of my favourite characters to write, because she's just so uncomplicated. She's Finn and there's nothing more to it, if you get what I mean.
And thank you for the point out - I'll edit that soon.
I've re-requested and I can't wait for the next review!
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #18, by anon I Meet New People

12th May 2012:
likelikelike, keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #19, by CloakAuror9 The Task

12th May 2012:
Hey there!

Aww! I feel so so sad for Kestrel. I can only imagine what she is going through and I do feel bad for her. Even when no one has written something about me for hundreds and hundreds of people to see, something similar did happen and it was tough. Very tough. So yeah, I feel like I relate to Kestrel a lot right now.

Skeeter, psh! I bet I can count the many good articles they had written about people with one hand. They are like the nasty paparazzi of the Wizarding World.

I did like the article though, despite what it had contain. I thought you were very creative of it. Spinning Kestrel's answers into something more lively. Fantastic!

Overall, a very enjoyable and interesting chapter, I really love where the story is going and how you are summing things up! I just can't wait to see what the two of them will get on too once the championship has begun! (For some reason, I am imagining Kestrel running around the Forbidden Forest with a bow and arrows...)

Ta,
CloakAuror9 xx
Recenseo 2012
Cloak

Author's Response: Hello!
I did hate doing that to Kestrel, but it had to be done. Like you said, it is very tough to have something untrue spread about you. I'm sorry something similar happened to you :( Rumours suck.
That being said, I did have fun writing that article. I'm not really a reporter-y type, so that was something new to me. I'm glad you liked it!
Haha, now I can't get the Kestrel with bow and arrows picture out of my head. I blame the Hunger Games.
Thank you again!
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #20, by RosieQueen Unexpected Visitor

11th May 2012:
It's Rosie with your requested review! :)

I just love Kestrel. Her depth is just so wonderful! The description, the imagery, the characterization...it's just so incredibly real! I am in love with your writing style.

You provided, if possible, even more depth in Kestrel's character. She's definitely not your average next-gen OC. I like this story because it's just so unique! Kestrel is definitely socially awkward, haha. I remember being like her once, and it wasn't until later that I actually learned how to act around people.

I really enjoyed the part with Harry in it. I could totally understand why he wouldn't be okay with the competition. He's got a good point, it's like resurrecting the event in which Voldemort came back into power.

All in all, wonderful chapter. Can't wait to read more! This is why I have a review thread- I discover new stories that I might have never even given a chance at first! :D *Added to favorites.*

~Rosie

Author's Response: This review made me smile so much :D It means a lot to me when people say that they enjoy reading my stuff. I was worried about whether I got Harry's voice right, so I'm so glad you liked that part :)
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #21, by Ashling586 Unexpected Visitor

11th May 2012:
Here again with your review request. After reading this chapter I was left with a lot of unanswered questions. I thought that her reaction at the beginning of the chapter was very well written and as a reader I was able to connect with Kestrel's panic and emotions which is great. You mention that she was wearing a summery dress, but I was wondering why she was wearing such a dress when you also mention that the ground was frostbitten. If the ground was cold enough to be frost bitten wouldn't it had been too cold to wear a dress? I am not sure how I feel about the scene with Harry. It seemed a bit strange that he was warning her against the tournament.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. To answer your questions:
The reason Kestrel was wearing a summer dress is because that's what she normally wears. It's part of who she is, I guess. It's warm in the castle and normally when she goes outside she casts a heating spell. However, she was so panicked that she forgot this time.
In my mind, Harry would definitely not be ok with the resurrection of the Triwizard Tournament. He wants to make it clear to Kestrel how odd he finds the whole thing, considering it was originally what brought Voldemort back to power.
I hope that's cleared things up!
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #22, by Ashling586 I Watch The Sun Rise

11th May 2012:
Here with your review request. First of all I like the first person view point. It was very well done. Though I have to admit until you said that she was a fourth year, I had no clue as to how old the speaker was, and I was thinking she was older than fourth year. I like the idea of having a house cup competition but why only one task? Why only fourth years? Why not any of the older years? I think that the reason used is a bit weak and you might want to try making it clearer for the reader to understand.
The over all flow of the chapter was good, and I can see the characterizations of the main character Kestrel. It will be interesting to see how the next chapter goes.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review :) It was very helpful, especially what you said about her sounding older than fourth year. I'll try to look over that. Also, the questions you asked will hopefully be answered in later chapters.
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #23, by CloakAuror9 Letters from Home

11th May 2012:
Hey there! I am so sorry for taking days to do this. I just have so much things going on right now! I do hope you're okay with me being late...because better than never! :D (my late-reviewing mantra)

I love this chapter! It shows so much about Kestrel and her family (her sister, anyway!). I really like Kestrel, by far one of the best OCs I've ever read, because she's realistic. She's not perfect, she's sarcastic and I can relate to her. She's a very easy-to-relate character, but then you never know what's she's going to say next. It keeps things in balance and keeps me interested by a very long shot.

Finn seems like a lovely sister to Kestrel and I would love to see her in the story, beyond letters! I think she's a very funny and out-there type of character.

Compared to the previous chapter, I think you have made some great improvements. Your pace is more steadier and you go in much detail about things! Not to mention, you do them so well! I wish I could write like you, then I'd be happy!

Overall, a fantastic chapter written by a fantastic author! I love love love this story!

Ta,
CloakAuror9 xx
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: I'm absolutely fine with you being late! 'Better late than never' is practically my life motto, so I'm hardly one to judge ;)
I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I love to write Kestrel, she's very different to all my other characters so it's quite interesting for me to test my writing abilities. That being said, I hardly ever know what she's going to say next either!
I had great fun with Finn. Don't worry - she will be making an official appearance soon. I'll have to re-request so you can meet her :D
Anyway, thank you for a lovely review *heads over to the forums to request another*
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #24, by academica I Watch The Sun Rise

9th May 2012:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review :)

First off, I think Kestrel is interesting. It can definitely be tough to write OCs, and I think a lot of people revert to creating someone who is super bubbly just because it's been done so much, and maybe it's easy (I don't know, never having done it that way). Kestrel definitely seems like she might have some depression going on, but even if she doesn't, I think it's gutsy to go in the opposite direction of the crowd and make her more withdrawn and cynical (without trying to make it over-the-top and humorous). Her negative attitude was definitely noticeable throughout the piece, and so I hope that a major theme you deal with will be helping Kestrel work out why she feels that way about everything and maybe even challenging it a little later on.

I liked the plot of the story, especially your ideas about bringing the Triwizard Tournament back in honor of Harry. I am a little wary about the fact that the competitors were chosen without giving prior consent, but since the competition isn't dangerous, and Harry was chosen without his consent, I suppose that makes sense. I do have to wonder if it's mere coincidence that this tournament was announced now, when Harry's eldest son is a fourth year :)

I noticed that this is the second version of this, and that you added in extra background details. The first part, which describes Kestrel's receipt of her letter and her family's reaction, was nicely done, but some of the other stuff did make the chapter drag for me a little bit. I think it might help if, in the future, you try to avoid having Kestrel comment on everything that happens, and also if you try to space out revealing her background. For example, instead of telling the story of her cat here, you could have set it up so that in a future scene she is playing with her cat in her dormitory, and that sparks her telling the reader about getting the cat.

Finally, one little technical nitpick -- in the first paragraph, when you mention that Finch is called Finn by a lot of people, it might be better to use dashes on either side of 'known as Finn to the rest of us' instead of using one dash and one comma. I didn't notice anything else major, though, so I wouldn't worry too much about the technical stuff.

Overall, very nice job! I hope this review was helpful. Of course, you can feel free to re-request later if you like.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
I liked what you said about Kestrel - it's certainly very true that she's pretty negative about life. I will be going into more detail about that in later chapters, and possibly getting her to review it a little more.
Quite a lot of people have commented on the fact that the competitors were chosen without prior consent. There is a reason for this, which will be addressed soon. And no, it's not a coincidence that it's James' year.
Reading back over that chapter, I agree that it does drag a bit. I'll try to fix that and the thing about the cat also seems like a good idea. Thank you!
~horseyrosyrb


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Review #25, by RosieQueen I Watch The Sun Rise

8th May 2012:
It's Rosie with your requested review! :)

I really, really, enjoyed this! The concept of Kestrel's family all being named after birds was so unique and interesting! This is definitely not your average next-gen fic. I love it because it's unique, which many next-gen fics lack. So wonderful job!

The reaction Kestrel's family had was so realistic- when people write OC's, they write it so that it seems as if it wasn't a shock. But if you had a witch come into your house uninvited, wouldn't you be surprised? So good job with the realistic element of the story! :D

I loved the characterization, too. Kestrel was a very uniqe and not to mention interesting OC. I fact, she reminds me of myself, so I can totally relate!

So far, I'm intrigued. This inter-school competition sounds so exciting! I'm glad you said in the story that the ministry banned the Triwizard tournament, because it makes sense.

I also adore your writing style- it's got good flow and everything you write is easy to understand. It kind of reminds me of JKR's writing style, and I've rarely seen that in a story.

I have no complaints with this story. No punctuation/grammar mistakes that I could find, so all in all, this was a fantastic start to your story! Loved this. :)

~Rosie

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! This has been so encouraging and has motivated me to write the next chapter, which I must say I have been putting off.
Haha, lots of people are saying they can relate to Kestrel. I'm so glad, 'cause I based her a little on me but with a few major changes, so I wasn't sure how realistic she was. It's a relief to know that she works!
Anyway, thanks again and I'll be sure to re-request :)
~Rosie


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