awh, this was a really cute story! definately never read one writtin from arianna's point of view when she was in her portrait! ;)
it was written really well so congratulations! would love to read more! :D x Report Review
Hi *hides* So I uh, yes, well, Do not hate me *hugs nd love* I am here, I love everything onwards ^_^
This my dear was so unbelaivbly well written - you have no idea how much I actually wanted to cry with Ariana. Her emotions where so raw that just by reading this littleone shot about her made me tear up. You have a way of writting about sadness.
Your descriptions and everything flowed really well. When I first issued this challenge, everyone assumed it would be really hard to write a story about such a thing. A Portrait? Does it have a life? who painted them? How is it they stay so young and have a soul?
I wanted people to explore the potential behind what a portrait has. There are so many questions, and you nailed it on the head. For example, in a sentence you said she sat on the grund and starred at the door - you explored the questions of why does she sit on the floor, you made people think how big is her portrait? what else can she do ^_^
You wonderful, wonderful person you!!
This was very, very enlightening story, filled with emotion and everything I wanted to see!! :)
Thank you soo much for a wonderfull little tale and be sure too look out for the winners shortly :D
~Karni. xx Report Review
This is a really interesting and creative idea for a story, and though I read this last night, I had to think it over before reviewing, just to work out the details of how this would work. Maybe I've missed seeing stories about Ariana as a portrait, which is possible, but it's something that hasn't been explored very well in fanfiction - that scene in DH was fascinating in how Ariana was able to become more than just a sad story, she had an important role of her own to play. So, what I'm trying to say is that it's great to see you exploring more about her life as a portrait.
It must have been very difficult for her to watch the world going on around her, to see her brothers aging, while being trapped in the confines of that frame. Even going between Hogwarts and the Hog's Head isn't the same - it's still within a set frame. I like how you portray her frustration at not being answered, at being helpless because she has to rely so much on what her brothers tell her. In reality, being a portrait is no different from her situation when still alive - always trapped, always isolated. And that last comment of hers - heartbreaking. She's still a child, and will always be a child, even while her brothers age, even after they're dead. Wow. I never thought about it in that way before. It's so sad!
If I may offer a bit of critique, I almost think that you could go on with this - the ending seems cut off. It's not that she ended with feeling sorry for Aberforth - that's an amazing twist because he's the one who always remained loyal to her while Albus was constantly atoning for his mistakes - it's that you could have drawn out the gravity of the situation. She's going to tell Aberforth, but does she hesitate? Does she worry about how she's going to find the right words, and even more, how he'll react? Maybe I'm being greedy and want to read more about Ariana's situation, both as portrait and as caught between her still-feuding brothers. ;)
Anyway, this was great work! You should definitely be proud of what you've done here. It's much too bad that no one else has reviewed (as yet), as it deserves a lot more attention. :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm sorry it took this long to reply, my computer swallowed my last reply >.< It's really lovely for you to say that you thought it was really interesting and creative, you have no idea how happy that makes me to read. I don't think that you have because if you've missed it so have I... it was a challenge and Ariana seemed really interesting as a character so I snagged her as my particular portrait. I'm glad you think it's great that I tried exploring more about her life as a portrait.
Exactly! She is still trapped within the girl she was even though she's now a portrait and doesn't have to be as helpless as she was when she was alive because she's no longer dangerous, in the way that she at least seemed to be when she was alive.
Yeah, I was having a bit of a problem with that but I am really grateful that you pointed it out. I'll definitely look into drawing it out and adding on to the story. Those are all great ideas to use and it's wonderful that you asked about it because if you hadn't have I wouldn't really have thought any more than I already had about the situation so thank you very much for that. I'll definitely keep them in mind and look over the story again.
Thank you very much! That means so much that you say that, and thank you so much for your lovely and very kind review. ^_^ Report Review
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