Okay, so every single one of your summaries is amazing and I had no idea where to start. I'm glad I picked this one, however, as it made me laugh out loud multiple times and was very cleverly written. In fact, I was almost feeling sorry for poor Voldy by the end of it!
"The Room of Convenient Plot Twists" was pure gold, I absolutely love the sarcasm you've played around with here. The mentions of pop culture are so, so perfect. Movie deals? Excessive consumerism and branding? Death Eater reality show competition? Unpaid taxes? Vampire Cedric?!?!
Anyway, as you can tell I absolutely loved this story!!! I will definitely have to check out some of your other Voldy stories. Hopefully his luck picks up and he isn't forever a victim of the neoliberal economy!! Thank you for writing this masterpiece. :)Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
While I loved book 7, it kind of bothered me just how much she used the room of requirement for, especially when it was supposed to be some great revelation that the diadem was hidden in the same room as all the other plot twists.
The two things that really crack me up to imagine are Voldemort in everyday life situations (like how does he eat, sleep or bathe?) and if the characters were completely self-aware of their images in pop culture.
Glad you enjoyed it! And as for Voldy's luck, I can't say it gets better, but it does get interesting. Report Review
I love the idea that Voldemort is working at a Tescos!
"Room of Convenient Plot Twists" as he had taken to calling it'- That line was so funny!
I love that Voldemort realises his mistake was due to his need for dramatics and big climaxes like many other villains.
I can't stop laughing at this story! Voldemort not getting a book deal, Harry getting a movie deal, Cedric turning up again as a vampire!
Although I think that George has a right to dump his sandwich in the store for Voldemort to clean up. I would have done that too!
I love that the unemployment office don't seem to care that he's clearly got a warrant for his arrest but let him leave anyway :D
This is brilliantly funny!
Especially Voldemort doing stand up! I loved that guy that yelled that Voldemort sucked.
This was so funny! I can't wait to read your other Voldemort stories!Author's Response: Thanks for such a great review, and sorry for taking so long to respond!
For some reason picturing Voldemort in every day people situations just cracks me up. Like did he ever brush his teeth? What did he eat? Did he need to shower? So I just couldn't resist forcing to to try to cope with joining normal society.
And I agree with you about George, I would have done it as well!
Thanks again! Report Review
Oh I loved this, it was so much fun! I wouldn't have thought of an unemployed Dark Lord in a world full of Harry Potter fans.
I especially enjoyed the part where they told him that he was wanted on murder, kidnapping etc. That was hilarious.
I see you have a lot of interesting stories here, especially those set during the Cold War, so I'm going to bookmark your author page and expect to hear from me soon! :DAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing this!
As you can imagine, this was a pretty fun one to write, and I was glad that the totally random ideas could work as a story. Glad you liked it! Report Review
Lol! That was pretty funny!! I could totally see Voldemort working in retailAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot! Report Review
Aw, poor Voldy. Almost enough to tug at your heart strings and generate sympathy. Almost. If I did sympathy I might have felt for Jim Furyk or Steve Stricker at Medinah tonight.
Again, I liked the balance between canon and accepted reality, and the interactions on the boundary that aren't far away from a Dr Who script in terms of observational humour. Just with added cynicism.
I look forward to another swap in due course!
SheriffAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review and the swap, and we yanks need all the sympathy we can get after that horrendous collapse. Report Review
This is parody at it's best! I laughed so hard that I got tears in my eyes and my stomach started aching! But it was totally worth it! And that Twilight reference! The whole thing is just ingenious! Poor Voldy, I almost feel sorry for him!Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Really funny, I wish it was longer.Author's Response: Thanks a lot! Report Review
How did you came up with this? Whahaha. Him not being dead but working for Tesco and one top of that being fired. I loved that Cedric/Edward reference btw ! Whahaha You are so hilarious. There's something about hilarious about him going through the trials of everyday people that is just funny. And the funny thing is that I donít feel sorry for him. Too bad for him he didnít take up on Slughorns offer.Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! I had a lot of fun trying to picture Voldy in normal life situations. Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Oh my God, Voldy working at (and being sacked from... oh the humiliation) Tesco. That is such a brilliant idea; I don't know how you do it, I really don't.
I loved all the little references to George's sandwiches and Cedward, but my favourite line was the inimitable one explaining why he's ineligible from the dole. You are a genius. You should write sketch comedy or something, honestly.
I only have one tiny little critique for you: the spacing's a little off putting at first. Like, there's this huge expanse of grey between the paragraphs, which is... weird.
Overall - 10/10, and I will R&R the rest of your Voldy series 'cause you're just that awesome.Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
It was so much fun picturing Voldy having to adjust to normal society, I hope you like the rest of the series! Report Review
Love it! Loved it loved it loved it! Voldy's not dead, but rather he has a fate worse than death: living a mundane life, spiraling downwards, while Harry is famous and everywhere. Oh, I also loved that whole Cedric/Edward reference! Brilliant!
It seems that with Voldemort in our world, his magic has no effect. Must be because his 1/128th of a soul isn't into the evil business anymore.
Line that cracked me up the most? The woman at the unemployment office saying "have a nice day" after reading his list of crimes and telling him he's not eligible for benefits. How can he have a nice day after that?!
Awesome story, kept me grinning the entire time!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! It was very fun to imagine Voldy being stuck in the real world being forced to do everday tasks.
Like Bellatrix said, you really have to mean it for the unforgiveable curses to work, and at this point his heart just isn't in it anymore.
Thanks a lot for the review! Report Review
Sorry, I still can't feel sorry for Riddle!
This was very funny, and I giggled all the way through. It would have been kinder just to kill him! Sacked from Tesco... oh the humiliation.
Actually, I totally agree with the beginning- Voldemort had plenty of opportunities to kill Harry! 'his flair for the dramatic'- tell me about it!
It was quite sad that none of Voldemort's spells worked (why is this?), he must be so lonely. I can imagine him turning into a cat-lady.
"Mr. Riddle, . Iím afraid you are not eligible for unemployment benefits. Have a nice day." -this bit was bloody genius! Why isn't he in prison?! Kill with kindness? Although, I suppose nicking his book deal and movies/chat shows/balloons is punishment enough... nah, still don't pity him.
Overall, this was fantastic. Very original, superbly funny and I actually think Voldemort in my local Tesco would cheer the place up a bit!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
I have a fun time just picturing Voldemort in normal everyday situations, so this was a fun one to write.
As for his magic, as Bellatrix informed Harry, for the dark spells you have to really mean it, and at this point his heart just isn't in it anymore.
Thanks again! Report Review
Hahahahaha! This actually made me laugh so much and sort of, a bit, feel sorry for poor old Voldy.
I absolutely loved how you included the whole HP franchise and that little Twilight reference in there too.
Loved this! Adding to favourites.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
I had a lot of fun imagining how the characters would react to the real life success of the HP franchise. Report Review
Most. hilarious. Story. Ever. Literally cried with laugher the first time, got a stitch the second time I read it. I've lost count now. OMG it was just sooo funny! lol troll etc.
You should be a comedian instead of poor Voldy. I feel well sorry for him now! hahaAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! This was definetely a fun one to write. Report Review
Dude! Dude! I am DYING here! LOL, LMFAO, ROFL and all the acronyms I can think of! I am actually clandestinely reading this at work and drawing undue attention to myself with my snorts and laughter! :) :P
Voldy's weary bitterness and pathetic attempts to reestablish his evil awesomeness is too much. I can totally see George doing all he can to make his life miserable. Oh god, too much!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope it didn't get you into trouble! Report Review
I've heard a LOT of really excellent things about your Voldemort stories, and I thought it was high time that I headed this way and checked them out for myself. I decided to start with the first one -- I'm a bit particular about things like that -- and now I'm just sitting here, crying of laughter and trying to express my love for this story.
Oh my Rowling, I loved this. ♥ YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS. It's got to be an art form, and it's definitely one I'd like to master. This is parody in its most flawless form. I sort of feel bad for Voldemort, just a little bit -- he's not going to make those two million pounds at Tesco, you know -- and, of course, the evil villain market's sort of bust right now. Poor guy.
Some of my favorite bits --
Cedric Diggory, who Voldemort was sure he had killed several years earlier, had suddenly reappeared posing as a vampire, which he had parlayed into a wildly successful movie career. (YES. I hoped there'd be a Twilight reference here!)
ďWe appreciate the fact that you suck!Ē replied the man. (I AM CRYING. THERE ARE TEARS ON MY FACE. You are /fantastic/.)
I am literally having such a hard time expressing how much I loved this story. You're a comedic genius and I cannot wait to check out your other stories (Kim Jong Il, you say?). EXCELLENT work -- you're just fabulous, James, and I take my hat off to you, good sir.Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
I find so much humor in picturing Voldemort in just about any normal person situation. Like what does he eat? Does he brush his teeth? Does he ever take a shower?
So naturally the idea of him working at Tesco was so funny to me I had to write a story about it. I also have fun imagining how the characters would react to the commerical success that they've achieved in the real world.
Thanks again for reviewing!
This was hilarious, especially the Cedric part. Anyways, very good.Author's Response: Thanks a lot! Report Review
How on earth do you expect to review this? This is an insane story. Can you lend me your imagination for a few days? Pretty please? This is one of the funniest stories I have read in a while. The Cedric Diggory/Vampire part was epic. Your ideas are so out of the box. I really can't leave any constructive criticisms for your story. Can I just say how awesome you are? :DAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, glad you snjoyed it! Report Review
This is one of the funniest things I've read in a while :D (And I spend half my life on HPFF) ;)
I've never really read anything about Voldy before and I love the irony of him working in the muggle world; and it doesn't really get anymore muggle than Tesco ;)
This is normally where I put 'Update Soon Please', but I can't can I? Nevermind.
Basically, I love this story and your writing style and I'm glad I went and did the 'Review the person above you' thingimy and found your story :) (Sorry if this is a rubbishy review, i'm just not very good at them!) Oh and 10/10 if I could go higher I would ;)
XAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
I definetely find a lot of humor in picturing voldemort in everyday situations that seem ridiculous. Although this story was a one-shot, I have written 3 follow up stories to it, so you could definetely check those out if you want to read more:) Report Review
This story totally brings all the lolz for me. I actually read it awhile ago but it was very worth a reread and it's about time I reviewed so alas. A review. I'll try to make it a somewhat decent review but it will probably end up with lots of capslock and incoherency. Ahem.
So I totally love parodies and crack fic. I've written a couple myself and reading them is almost always enjoyable but forreal, I had never read a Voldemort parody before this (that I can remember anyway) AND IT WAS BRUTALLY AWESOME. I mean, it's such a clever idea and then it's so funny and then I'm laughing and it's like wooah totally cool bro Voldemort is a cashier, where's my camera? I'd love a picture of that, mhmm mhmm.
This is my most favorite part: "Every once in a while he would visit Malfoy Manor and yell at everybody inside, but it just wasn't the same anymore." IT JUST TOTALLY GETS TO ME. I AM GIGGLING AS I TYPE. I'm just picturing Voldy like prancing into Malfoy Manor and like making crazy gestures and yelling and trying to be menacing meanwhile Draco is just like standing by with a detestful sneer and glasses (he has glasses in my vision) and trying to go through paperwork or something (because he always ends up at the Ministry somehow in fic and he does in this vision as well). And he's just like honestly bro, get a life.
Anyway. This series of Voldemort parodies you've got are absolute comedic gold. There's something about Voldy going through the trials of everyday people that is just classic.
Erica.Author's Response: Thanks a lot for this review! I just find so much humor picturing Voldy in everyday situations, even little things like what does he eat? Does he ever shower or brush his teeth? What does he do for entertainment?
That's pretty much exactly how I pictured the Malfoy manor scene too, glad you liked that part!
-James Report Review
Hey! Here from review tag :)
Oh my God, what a funny concept! You always have the best humor stories. I know exactly whose author page to visit whenever I'm feeling down!
Poor Voldemort. Haha. (Words I thought I would never say.) I love the comment about George and his "late night supper" and Cedric Diggory's transition into Edward Cullen. I also really liked this line: "Every once in a while he would visit Malfoy Manor and yell at everybody inside, but it just wasn't the same anymore." Envisioning that made me laugh. I also liked the part where he sees Harry "mocking" him from the side of a bus. He really should have taken Slughorn's offer! The woman's rundown of his crimes at the unemployment office was also amusing, as was the ending scene. This whole piece was really quite impressive :)
There's just one thing I'm unsure of -- are you implying that his defeat stripped him of magic? I can definitely understand him retreating to Muggle life after his humiliation in front of pretty much the entire wizarding world. Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems like as long as he was still living and in possession of a wand that he'd be able to do magic, including Dark curses. That's my only area of confusion.
Nicely done, as usual :)Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, and I'm relaly glad that people seem to ejnoy my humor.
I had a really fun time picturing Voldemort in all these scenarios he wouldn't normally be in, and also trying to imagine his reactions to popular culture's perceptions of Harry Potter. I initially thought this story would be a one time thing, but I kept having more ideas and there is now 3 more just like it. (Voldemort and the Tell All Interview is probably my personal favorite)
The way I envision it, Voldemort is still capable of doing magic, but he struggles with the dark arts now because, like Bellatrix said, you have to really mean it, and at this point he's demoralized and his heart really isnt in it anymore.
Thanks again for the great review! Report Review
It's your Secret Santa back with another review! :) Yet again you've managed to surprise me in a genre I'm not all that familiar with and I have to say I'm very impressed with your abilities to write humour! You just write it so well and it reads as though it comes so effortlessly which is certainly a nice thing as the laughs are genuine and the jokes and references are certainly hilarious, and I'd also have to say that you write Voldemort as victim of this epic recession you have placed him in extremely well.
I love how you managed to tie in subtle references which connect not only the stories and the series as we know them, but real life evens such as Robert Pattinson's rise to fame as Edward Cullen into this story, it certainly gave it a more realistic and humorous side considering the situation Voldemort found himself in alone was very AU and his actions very OOC. Despite this, I managed to love this, and found myself laughing the entire way through at what can only be described as one of the worst possible outcomes for the Dark Lord.
I think what I loved most was Voldemort's reactions to everything, they were believable in most cases, although I can never see him working or actually giving up let alone going to an unemployment office or trying stand up comedy, the situations themselves had me laughing, just imagining George purposely coming through the store to make a mess was enough to have me laughing! I don't know what it was, but something about this and the way you've written just made it seem so possible in an AU world and I loved it. I have no issues with the spelling or grammar once again, it was perfect, and the story itself was highly original and enjoyable to read!
Well done on another wonderful story, and Happy Holidays!
~ Secret Santa~Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I know its totally OOC, but I love picturing Voldemort in situations where he really doesn't belong. I also think it funny to picture him in our actual world with Harry's commercial success. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
The summary alone convinced me I would love this story. The idea of an unemployed Voldemort is just brilliant. I really love how you had Voldy try to find a place in the world after his defeat and end up being awful at everything (especially stand up comedy haha) One of my favorite lines was the Cedric reference, I laughed out loud. Oh Robert Pattinson.
-ronsgirl29Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I definetley think its hilarious to picture Voldemort in random situations where he doesn't belong. Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Haha I love that Cedric is back, posing as a vampire. This is a really funny story!Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked that reference! Report Review
Haha, oh my god, I have seen this around and heard good things, but this was so funny! You've got this perfect dry wit, it works so well with your idea. Superb honestly.
I feel almost sorry for Voldemort, because he seems like such a sorry character. He can't even get on benefits! The poor lamb.
This was actually hilarious, well done! I'll be reading the others in this series very soon.Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
I love this so much :D
It's hilarious and so different to the Voldermort fics I've read before :D
Giving a different point of view on how the battle ended but also giving the perspective of how muggles view Voldermort is amazing
Well done for the original idea
GinevraMollyPotterAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review, glad you liked it! Report Review
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