51 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Karou_Marauder Voldy's New Job

10th July 2014:
I think i just died of laughter.


Okay, just the idea of Voldemort working in Tesco's is priceless. And the fact that people come in and laugh at him, and George makes him clean up the prawn and potato salad is hilarious!

Haha, Voldemort tried to get a book deal and a film. But you have to feel for the guy. I mean, he went from famous and feared almost-ruler of the wizarding world, to Tesco's worker unable to even get a book or film. Harry keeps stealing his opportunities. Maybe this is the new plan to keep the Dark lord down.

"Mr. Riddle, you are wanted by the authorities on over five hundred counts of murder, kidnapping, fraud, extortion, theft, assault, and money laundering, and you also owe over 2 million pounds in unpaid taxes, so I'm afraid you are not eligible for unemployment benefits. Have a nice day."

I died on this bit. Just the frank tone she used to list his felonies, and the fact she just sends him off without calling the police or anyone is hilarious. The whole thing is hilarious!

-Karou, 2014 House Cup Review

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I find great amusement in picturing Voldemort doing mundane everyday things. Like, can imagine him waiting at a bus stop? Or walking a dog?

I loved writing that line, I wanted to sum up the total absurdity of the situation.

Thanks a lot!

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Review #2, by TidalDragon Voldy's New Job

9th July 2014:

I always shy away from humor pieces, I don't know why really, but here I am nevertheless.

I actually thought you did a good job with this. While it didn't make me laugh out loud, it was definitely amusing. Taking Voldemort and planting him in "our" world post-defeat along with actual introspection and poking fun at both acting career arcs and the commercial success of the HP franchise brought a smile to my face. After all, who better to take a walk down reality road than a defeated and disgraced (but somehow NOT dead) Voldemort.

My favorite part was perhaps the comparison between the Cruciatus Curse and a taser. Those things are no laughing matter, but it was funny and it was nice that in a manner of speaking, Voldemort got some of what he dished out (and that from a Muggle bouncer as well). Perhaps his ability to inflict pain is not as unique as he thought.

Thanks for sharing this!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey there!

One of the themes I wanted to play around with here were the idea of Voldemort having to do regular everyday things in the real world (like what does he even eat?) And also the idea of the characters becoming self-aware of the commercial success that the franchise has achieved.

Oh yes, the taser scene was meant to be a bit of poetic justice.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #3, by 1917farmgirl Voldy's New Job

22nd August 2013:
Okay, first off, I think you may have been accidentally skipped in review tag the other day. I got two lovely reviews, but I'm not sure you got one in return. Thought I'd try and fix it.

Second of all, HOLY FREAKING HILARIOUS! I LOVE parodies! No one writes them. Everyone, me included, takes our lovely Harry Potter world just too seriously sometimes, and we forget how much fun it can be to laugh at it!

Poor Voldy. He will have to find a support group. Displaced Evil Villians in Limbo (DEViL for short) or something.

Oh, and my favorite part? George coming round to harass him every day. GO GEORGE!

Great stuff! Thanks for making me laugh!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, these things tend to even out over time:)

I just have so much fun imagining Voldemort in everyday situations, like really, what did he eat?

That is a brilliant acronym, I may have to steal it.

And I wouldn't expect anything less from good old George. Thanks again!

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Review #4, by randomwriter Voldy's New Job

17th July 2013:
I've read this story many many times, and I'm ashamed that I've never reviewed it before. THIS IS AMAZING :D I think you could possibly be one of the best Humour writer on HPFF. Your stories (The Voldemort series) are simply brilliant, and they always manage to brighten up my day.
Like this one! The idea of Voldy roaming through the streets, looking for employment during the recession is hilarious! And the way he speaks about Diggory, with bitterness, if funny because you've managed to take a dig at twilight again! :D
And Voldy as a stand up comedian? Omigosh. I havent laughed so hard in a loonngg while! Thanks for this :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I hope we can all share a laugh at Voldemort's imagined predicament

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Review #5, by marauder5 Voldy's New Job

14th June 2013:
Review tag!!

Okay, so the very first image you give us made me laugh out loud! Voldemort, working as a cashier... that's priceless! I'm so glad that I got a chance to come back and read another one of your hilarious stories (I'm sure the rest of this one-shot will be just as funny, given the awesome start you've got here.)

I don't even know where to start, haha! Well, I'll just tell you that these things are absolutely amazing and I loved these details: Voldemort's book being declined. Harry getting the movie deal. Cedric reappearing as a vampire. Voldemort dreaming of a holiday home in Spain.

Also, the theme of Harry's face haunting him worked really well! I loved imagining little kids buying Harry Potter stuff, and how it would annoy Voldemort, how his face was on the bus, and then how you beautifully tied it together with that ending: what movie is playing at the cinema? Harry Potter. What else, right?

Anyway, you certainly got this humor thing down. If someone would have asked me before if I'd like to read a story in which Voldemort survives and end up working at Tesco and then struggling with unemployment, I probably would have said no. But man, would I have been wrong! I normally don't read AU, but I really, really enjoy reading yours, so I hope you know how good you are! Hopefully, I'll find time soon to come back and read your other Voldy one-shots, as I'm sure they're just as funny as this one! :D Good job, and keep it up!!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!

Voldemort is such a uniquely evil character that I get a real kick out of imagining him in mundane situations. Like think about it, what does he eat? does he ever shower? does he shop for clothes?

I also amusing myself picturing the characters being self-aware of the fame they have in our world, and those two things kind of combine to make this series. Thanks again!

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Review #6, by 800 words of heaven Voldy's New Job

10th June 2013:

So I think this is the third story I'm reading in the Voldemort saga, and I must say, I am enjoying myself immensely!

I love the way you make fun of the Harry Potter hype, yet make Voldemort so immensely loveable. He's just one of those characters whose luck has changed for the worse, and enjoys being angry and bitter about it - I love it!

I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter in poor Voldemort's saga!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #7, by Lululuna Voldy's New Job

20th April 2013:
Review tag!!

Okay, so every single one of your summaries is amazing and I had no idea where to start. I'm glad I picked this one, however, as it made me laugh out loud multiple times and was very cleverly written. In fact, I was almost feeling sorry for poor Voldy by the end of it!

"The Room of Convenient Plot Twists" was pure gold, I absolutely love the sarcasm you've played around with here. The mentions of pop culture are so, so perfect. Movie deals? Excessive consumerism and branding? Death Eater reality show competition? Unpaid taxes? Vampire Cedric?!?!

Anyway, as you can tell I absolutely loved this story!!! I will definitely have to check out some of your other Voldy stories. Hopefully his luck picks up and he isn't forever a victim of the neoliberal economy!! Thank you for writing this masterpiece. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

While I loved book 7, it kind of bothered me just how much she used the room of requirement for, especially when it was supposed to be some great revelation that the diadem was hidden in the same room as all the other plot twists.

The two things that really crack me up to imagine are Voldemort in everyday life situations (like how does he eat, sleep or bathe?) and if the characters were completely self-aware of their images in pop culture.

Glad you enjoyed it! And as for Voldy's luck, I can't say it gets better, but it does get interesting.

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Review #8, by alicia and anne Voldy's New Job

11th March 2013:
I love the idea that Voldemort is working at a Tescos!
"Room of Convenient Plot Twists" as he had taken to calling it'- That line was so funny!
I love that Voldemort realises his mistake was due to his need for dramatics and big climaxes like many other villains.
I can't stop laughing at this story! Voldemort not getting a book deal, Harry getting a movie deal, Cedric turning up again as a vampire!
Although I think that George has a right to dump his sandwich in the store for Voldemort to clean up. I would have done that too!
I love that the unemployment office don't seem to care that he's clearly got a warrant for his arrest but let him leave anyway :D
This is brilliantly funny!
Especially Voldemort doing stand up! I loved that guy that yelled that Voldemort sucked.
This was so funny! I can't wait to read your other Voldemort stories!

Author's Response: Thanks for such a great review, and sorry for taking so long to respond!

For some reason picturing Voldemort in every day people situations just cracks me up. Like did he ever brush his teeth? What did he eat? Did he need to shower? So I just couldn't resist forcing to to try to cope with joining normal society.

And I agree with you about George, I would have done it as well!

Thanks again!

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Review #9, by MissMdsty Voldy's New Job

28th November 2012:
Hey there!

Oh I loved this, it was so much fun! I wouldn't have thought of an unemployed Dark Lord in a world full of Harry Potter fans.

I especially enjoyed the part where they told him that he was wanted on murder, kidnapping etc. That was hilarious.

I see you have a lot of interesting stories here, especially those set during the Cold War, so I'm going to bookmark your author page and expect to hear from me soon! :D

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing this!

As you can imagine, this was a pretty fun one to write, and I was glad that the totally random ideas could work as a story. Glad you liked it!

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Review #10, by someone___1 Voldy's New Job

18th November 2012:
Lol! That was pretty funny!! I could totally see Voldemort working in retail

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!

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Review #11, by Sheriff Voldy's New Job

30th September 2012:
Aw, poor Voldy. Almost enough to tug at your heart strings and generate sympathy. Almost. If I did sympathy I might have felt for Jim Furyk or Steve Stricker at Medinah tonight.

Again, I liked the balance between canon and accepted reality, and the interactions on the boundary that aren't far away from a Dr Who script in terms of observational humour. Just with added cynicism.

I look forward to another swap in due course!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review and the swap, and we yanks need all the sympathy we can get after that horrendous collapse.

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Review #12, by inkwell Voldy's New Job

25th August 2012:
This is parody at it's best! I laughed so hard that I got tears in my eyes and my stomach started aching! But it was totally worth it! And that Twilight reference! The whole thing is just ingenious! Poor Voldy, I almost feel sorry for him!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #13, by Phoenix_feather123 Voldy's New Job

6th August 2012:
Really funny, I wish it was longer.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!

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Review #14, by Cleopatraa Voldy's New Job

9th July 2012:
How did you came up with this? Whahaha. Him not being dead but working for Tesco and one top of that being fired. I loved that Cedric/Edward reference btw ! Whahaha You are so hilarious. There's something about hilarious about him going through the trials of everyday people that is just funny. And the funny thing is that I donít feel sorry for him. Too bad for him he didnít take up on Slughorns offer.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! I had a lot of fun trying to picture Voldy in normal life situations. Glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #15, by caoty Voldy's New Job

19th June 2012:
Oh my God, Voldy working at (and being sacked from... oh the humiliation) Tesco. That is such a brilliant idea; I don't know how you do it, I really don't.

I loved all the little references to George's sandwiches and Cedward, but my favourite line was the inimitable one explaining why he's ineligible from the dole. You are a genius. You should write sketch comedy or something, honestly.

I only have one tiny little critique for you: the spacing's a little off putting at first. Like, there's this huge expanse of grey between the paragraphs, which is... weird.

Overall - 10/10, and I will R&R the rest of your Voldy series 'cause you're just that awesome.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!

It was so much fun picturing Voldy having to adjust to normal society, I hope you like the rest of the series!

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Review #16, by The Quiet Girl Voldy's New Job

7th June 2012:
Love it! Loved it loved it loved it! Voldy's not dead, but rather he has a fate worse than death: living a mundane life, spiraling downwards, while Harry is famous and everywhere. Oh, I also loved that whole Cedric/Edward reference! Brilliant!

It seems that with Voldemort in our world, his magic has no effect. Must be because his 1/128th of a soul isn't into the evil business anymore.

Line that cracked me up the most? The woman at the unemployment office saying "have a nice day" after reading his list of crimes and telling him he's not eligible for benefits. How can he have a nice day after that?!

Awesome story, kept me grinning the entire time!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! It was very fun to imagine Voldy being stuck in the real world being forced to do everday tasks.

Like Bellatrix said, you really have to mean it for the unforgiveable curses to work, and at this point his heart just isn't in it anymore.

Thanks a lot for the review!

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Review #17, by starryskies55 Voldy's New Job

9th April 2012:
Sorry, I still can't feel sorry for Riddle!

This was very funny, and I giggled all the way through. It would have been kinder just to kill him! Sacked from Tesco... oh the humiliation.

Actually, I totally agree with the beginning- Voldemort had plenty of opportunities to kill Harry! 'his flair for the dramatic'- tell me about it!

It was quite sad that none of Voldemort's spells worked (why is this?), he must be so lonely. I can imagine him turning into a cat-lady.

"Mr. Riddle, . Iím afraid you are not eligible for unemployment benefits. Have a nice day." -this bit was bloody genius! Why isn't he in prison?! Kill with kindness? Although, I suppose nicking his book deal and movies/chat shows/balloons is punishment enough... nah, still don't pity him.

Overall, this was fantastic. Very original, superbly funny and I actually think Voldemort in my local Tesco would cheer the place up a bit!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!

I have a fun time just picturing Voldemort in normal everyday situations, so this was a fun one to write.

As for his magic, as Bellatrix informed Harry, for the dark spells you have to really mean it, and at this point his heart just isn't in it anymore.

Thanks again!

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Review #18, by classicblack Voldy's New Job

20th March 2012:
Hahahahaha! This actually made me laugh so much and sort of, a bit, feel sorry for poor old Voldy.
I absolutely loved how you included the whole HP franchise and that little Twilight reference in there too.
Loved this! Adding to favourites.
Happy writing,

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!

I had a lot of fun imagining how the characters would react to the real life success of the HP franchise.

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Review #19, by Siriusly3 Voldy's New Job

19th March 2012:
Most. hilarious. Story. Ever. Literally cried with laugher the first time, got a stitch the second time I read it. I've lost count now. OMG it was just sooo funny! lol troll etc.
You should be a comedian instead of poor Voldy. I feel well sorry for him now! haha

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! This was definetely a fun one to write.

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Review #20, by charlottetrips Voldy's New Job

15th March 2012:
Dude! Dude! I am DYING here! LOL, LMFAO, ROFL and all the acronyms I can think of! I am actually clandestinely reading this at work and drawing undue attention to myself with my snorts and laughter! :) :P

Voldy's weary bitterness and pathetic attempts to reestablish his evil awesomeness is too much. I can totally see George doing all he can to make his life miserable. Oh god, too much!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope it didn't get you into trouble!

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Review #21, by TenthWeasley Voldy's New Job

14th March 2012:
I've heard a LOT of really excellent things about your Voldemort stories, and I thought it was high time that I headed this way and checked them out for myself. I decided to start with the first one -- I'm a bit particular about things like that -- and now I'm just sitting here, crying of laughter and trying to express my love for this story.

Oh my Rowling, I loved this. ♥ YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS. It's got to be an art form, and it's definitely one I'd like to master. This is parody in its most flawless form. I sort of feel bad for Voldemort, just a little bit -- he's not going to make those two million pounds at Tesco, you know -- and, of course, the evil villain market's sort of bust right now. Poor guy.

Some of my favorite bits --

Cedric Diggory, who Voldemort was sure he had killed several years earlier, had suddenly reappeared posing as a vampire, which he had parlayed into a wildly successful movie career. (YES. I hoped there'd be a Twilight reference here!)

ďWe appreciate the fact that you suck!Ē replied the man. (I AM CRYING. THERE ARE TEARS ON MY FACE. You are /fantastic/.)

I am literally having such a hard time expressing how much I loved this story. You're a comedic genius and I cannot wait to check out your other stories (Kim Jong Il, you say?). EXCELLENT work -- you're just fabulous, James, and I take my hat off to you, good sir.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

I find so much humor in picturing Voldemort in just about any normal person situation. Like what does he eat? Does he brush his teeth? Does he ever take a shower?

So naturally the idea of him working at Tesco was so funny to me I had to write a story about it. I also have fun imagining how the characters would react to the commerical success that they've achieved in the real world.

Thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #22, by KatnissMalfoy Voldy's New Job

4th February 2012:
This was hilarious, especially the Cedric part. Anyways, very good.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!

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Review #23, by shadowcat2 Voldy's New Job

1st February 2012:
How on earth do you expect to review this? This is an insane story. Can you lend me your imagination for a few days? Pretty please? This is one of the funniest stories I have read in a while. The Cedric Diggory/Vampire part was epic. Your ideas are so out of the box. I really can't leave any constructive criticisms for your story. Can I just say how awesome you are? :D

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, glad you snjoyed it!

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Review #24, by Juicey_Moosey Voldy's New Job

16th January 2012:
This is one of the funniest things I've read in a while :D (And I spend half my life on HPFF) ;)
I've never really read anything about Voldy before and I love the irony of him working in the muggle world; and it doesn't really get anymore muggle than Tesco ;)
This is normally where I put 'Update Soon Please', but I can't can I? Nevermind.
Basically, I love this story and your writing style and I'm glad I went and did the 'Review the person above you' thingimy and found your story :) (Sorry if this is a rubbishy review, i'm just not very good at them!) Oh and 10/10 if I could go higher I would ;)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!

I definetely find a lot of humor in picturing voldemort in everyday situations that seem ridiculous. Although this story was a one-shot, I have written 3 follow up stories to it, so you could definetely check those out if you want to read more:)

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Review #25, by ericajen Voldy's New Job

11th January 2012:
This story totally brings all the lolz for me. I actually read it awhile ago but it was very worth a reread and it's about time I reviewed so alas. A review. I'll try to make it a somewhat decent review but it will probably end up with lots of capslock and incoherency. Ahem.

So I totally love parodies and crack fic. I've written a couple myself and reading them is almost always enjoyable but forreal, I had never read a Voldemort parody before this (that I can remember anyway) AND IT WAS BRUTALLY AWESOME. I mean, it's such a clever idea and then it's so funny and then I'm laughing and it's like wooah totally cool bro Voldemort is a cashier, where's my camera? I'd love a picture of that, mhmm mhmm.

This is my most favorite part: "Every once in a while he would visit Malfoy Manor and yell at everybody inside, but it just wasn't the same anymore." IT JUST TOTALLY GETS TO ME. I AM GIGGLING AS I TYPE. I'm just picturing Voldy like prancing into Malfoy Manor and like making crazy gestures and yelling and trying to be menacing meanwhile Draco is just like standing by with a detestful sneer and glasses (he has glasses in my vision) and trying to go through paperwork or something (because he always ends up at the Ministry somehow in fic and he does in this vision as well). And he's just like honestly bro, get a life.

Anyway. This series of Voldemort parodies you've got are absolute comedic gold. There's something about Voldy going through the trials of everyday people that is just classic.

Great story!


Author's Response: Thanks a lot for this review! I just find so much humor picturing Voldy in everyday situations, even little things like what does he eat? Does he ever shower or brush his teeth? What does he do for entertainment?

That's pretty much exactly how I pictured the Malfoy manor scene too, glad you liked that part!

Thanks again

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