Reading Reviews for A Green-Eyed Monster
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by a christmas nymph! A Green-Eyed Monster

17th December 2013:
Hi darling! Secret Santa's back again with another review :P

Wow, what an interesting and incredible read this was. I have never read Fleur/Krum fic before, but after reading this, I am just wondering why there isn't more of it about! This was a gorgeous look into these two characters lives and love.

I honestly just loved reading this. The way it flowed and grew was beautiful, and watching their relationship develop really touched me. I really liked how they were both slight outsiders - because they were both from different countries, partly, but also because neither of them seemed to really connect with anyone else at the ball. It really showed their own connection very strongly.

Something I find truly amazing is how you managed to maintain both their accents without making it seem awkward or annoying. The strange intonations to their words were utterly part of each character and it worked perfectly. Well done with that, truly, because that's a really really hard thing to pull off!

Your description and use of metaphors was especially lovely. These lines really stood out to me:

A lonely elephant stamped its way through his stomach, butterflies beating restlessly above it

dreaming fitfully of her rejecting him with a cold word and a perfect spin on her foot, her hair swinging round like a silver waterfall, trailing that delicate perfume she wore through the air.

Opposites attract, yes, but similarities keep you together.

The kiss was fierce, demanding; he couldn't stop, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. She had conquered him completely, every sense he had was now geared towards her and only her. Hermione's shadow, present for so long, vanished; Harry Potter's looming figure crumbled into dust.

Overall I LOVED reading this. I always love encountering a new and interesting pairing, especially when it's written as beautifully as you have written this. Well done!

Christmas hugs from your Ravenclaw Secret Santa!

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Review #2, by academica A Green-Eyed Monster

14th March 2013:
Hey Aph! Thanks for the swap :)

I don't think I've ever read a Viktor/Fleur before, but I really like this! They almost seemed like they were in a fairytale, with Fleur as the pristine princess and Viktor as her charming, chivalrous prince. The language you used was so graceful, like when Fleur glided over to Viktor, and I really think that added to the effect.

It was interesting to see how insecure Viktor was throughout this piece. The symbolism with the butterflies in his stomach and the green-eyed monster definitely amplified it, but I think you accomplished it with just the little references to his jealousy and the way he was so possessive of Fleur. It was also quite the contrast to the seemingly light, luxurious atmosphere of the party.

The universe here is interesting and satisfying. I like the idea of Viktor being happy with someone after, as he pointed out, losing just about every girl he ever liked to someone else, usually someone affiliated with Harry. I also liked the characterization of the others in the story, particularly Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. They especially seemed really perfect and on point.

Very nice! I've paused at this story during several past visits to your page and never stopped, but I'm glad I did this time. You did a really great job :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Amanda! Thank you so much for the swap - I really enjoyed it! :)

Yeah, it's a really unusual pairing - I've never seen one either - but it was so much fun to write, so I'm glad you like it! I didn't really intend to have a fairytale effect, but it kinda makes sense thinking about it :P Thanks for that - I like the idea of a fairytale :)

I like Viktor as a character, but we don't see much of him in the books, so I tried to work off what we know from that and just extend it. I'm glad you liked it, since I was a bit nervous about him; I found him surprisingly difficult to write.

Yeah, I didn't really realise until I got to that point, and then I sort of had an 'oh, yeah' moment, haha. Hermione, Ginny... he does kinda lose out to Harry, really, poor boy.

Thank you so much for the lovely, lovely review, and I'm glad you liked it - it isn't something I normally write, tending to avoid fluff with a barge pole :P - so it was a little strange for me. Thank you again! :)

Aph xx


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Review #3, by dreamer21 A Green-Eyed Monster

6th March 2013:
This have to be my fav Victor Krum story. You have described the scene perfectly, It was like I was watching it.
And what he said to Ron about breaking his head was hilarious. I laughed and let me tell you that is very rare.
I've already said before, your writing is amazing. I just don't get why Ginny was being so bitchy?
Nevertheless, this story was totally worth the read.
Thankyou for the Swap.
Em!

Author's Response: Ooh, wow, thanks! I tend to write too much description, but I'm glad you thought there was enough - and wow, watching it? Really? :) Thanks!

Mahaha... can you believe I actually didn't intend for that line to be humorous? Viktor is being totally serious... but yeah, it's ended up being pretty funny, lol. Odd how things happen like that...

Ginny wasn't really being mean, she was just amused by the situation, since as Hermione's closest girl friend, she would know all about Hermione and Viktor and everything. And she doesn't like Fleur, as in canon. So yeah, it's a bit mean but not totally ;)

Thank you so much for the review and the swap - I really enjoyed both!

Aph xx


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Review #4, by adluvshp A Green-Eyed Monster

26th February 2013:
Review tag!

Haha this was such a fun read! I absolutely enjoyed this AU version of Fleur and Krum being together. I love the Bill/Fleur pairing so I was wary when I started reading this, but I liked the way you presented Krum/Fleur and was pleased. The entire idea of the Ball (assuming Post-War) was great, and of Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny being there too was a nice touch. I enjoyed the concept of the "green eyed monster". I loved how you managed all the dialogues (especially Fleur and Krum's) so well - it was very realistic.

All in all, this made for an enjoyable read, and I liked it a lot. The plot, pace, flow, and characterisation was all nicely done. Good work!

9/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks for stopping by! :)

Thanks so much! I'm a huge Bill/Fleur fan myself as well, so it was a little odd to write, but it was definitely a fun opportunity! I've always imagined awards ceremonies to be a bit more like the Oscars than anything else, so that was sort of what I went with, with the ball, even though the awards are nothing like the Oscars themselves... Fleur and Krum.. yeah, the dialogue was a bit of a pain and took quite a long time, but hey... :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #5, by ScarletEye158 A Green-Eyed Monster

6th December 2012:
Aw this was adorable :) I've never read a Viktor/Fleur story before (I'm more of a cannon lover) but I really liked this! You had some wonderful characterization is this story between Viktor and Fleur and it was nice to see how you envisioned their personalities because I don't read many fanfictions about them at all!

You also did really well with all the rest of the characters, especially Hermione and Ginny :) Ginny's sarcastic comment was just perfect and totally her :p I liked how you had Hermione still being friends with Viktor even though it was obvious Ron didn't like it. Don't get me wrong, I'm a die-hard Ron/Hermione shipper, but Hermione definitely should be able to decide her own friends and I'm glad you stuck to that (:

Also, another thing I wanted to tell you was that I loved all of your description! Right from the get-go I was met with lovely descriptions of Viktor's nerves and how he compared them to Quidditich. That was definitely a perfect way to describe what he was feeling! I also really liked the description you put into the kiss scene. I was a little disappointed when Harry interrupted them, being like, "Could you have any worse of timing, Harry?" but then Fleur came in and saved the day and made me all happy(:

Anyways, I really liked this and I'm glad I went to your review swap and decided to read it! Keep writing, you're really good at it! :D

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thanks! :) I'm a huge canon lover myself, so it was a bit of a weird one to write (It was a present for someone, as well, so more nerve-racking than usual), but Fleur and Viktor are such lovely characters. I always wanted to know more about them... we don't see nearly enough of them in books, in my opinion!

I was so worried about Hermione and Ginny so thank you so much for saying that! I'm always nervous writing the trio et al, because they're such established characters, you know? And yes, Hermione has every right to choose her friends, and Ron is a bit of an idiot about it, haha.

Thank you! I've always loved writing description (usually too much of it, tbh...) and it was a bit weird since Viktor in the books is pretty stoic and scowls at lot, lol. Yeah, Harry really is the King of Bad Timing, I think. I thought about making it someone else... like Hermione or Roger Davies or someone.. but Harry just suited it so well... poor Harry. Fleur is just a boss. 'Nuff said ;)

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it and thank you for reviewing (sorry for the incredibly late response!)!

Aph xx


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Review #6, by Veritaserum_Girl A Green-Eyed Monster

20th October 2012:
I really like this! I think that you pit a nice spin on things. I never thought of the idea of Fleur and Viktor being together, but I like it. I'm also really glad that Ron still doesn't like Viktor. Ive always felt like Viktor had some sort of resentment for Harry, and I'm glad I saw a bit of that in this one-shot.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! It's a kinda sweet idea to contemplate, I think.. I've always thought they'd still be friends in canon... I mean, they're the only two who can understand what the other went through during the Tournament (Harry was a whole different sphere, lol). Fame is a fickle friend, as they say, lol, and yeah it fits...

Thanks so much for stopping by and for the lovely review!

Aph xx


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Review #7, by Jchrissy A Green-Eyed Monster

21st August 2012:
I think this was a really well written one shot! You had some seriously amazing characterizations, though I couldn't help but wonder where this leaves Bill and Fleur. Unless I missed something...

Anyway, the way you created these characters and imagery felt very real and alive, I especially liked seeing Ginny, Ron, Harry, Hermione.. all through Viktor's eyes! I see Fleur in a different way, so part of me feels like you could have gone deeper with her - but that's because I love that girl and I reminded myself that this is Viktor's story, not hers ;).

I really felt in touch with your story, like you were walking around this room and kept diffing into Viktor. You did an amazing job with kiss scene! I LOVE well done kisses and you blew that one out of the water!!!

Okay, sorry if this review felt a bit chaotic, that's kind of how my brain is right now - haha!

Wonderful story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for that! Yeah, this is kinda AU, I guess (it was a present for someone who wanted to see it done, so... I did it :P). Bill and Fleur in this universe would never have happened. Dunno who Bill would have ended up with... didn't think too much about it, lol.

Characterisation was so difficult! Hermione and Ron were easier, but Ginny was so difficult because Viktor never really met her... I'm glad you think I did all right with them, though! Yeah, Fleur could be a lot deeper, definitely, but it's a fairly frivolous one-shot, so I wanted to keep her like that to match ;)

Gosh, I hate writing kiss scenes. I don't know why I include them in things... honestly, they drive me mad trying to get them right... thanks so much for that! :)

Haha, it's fine, don't worry about it - it didn't seem chaotic at all!

Aph xx


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Review #8, by Cavell A Green-Eyed Monster

13th May 2012:
I love reading your stories. I never, ever no regret reading them, and this was no exception. I love the idea of Fleur and Viktor going to a ball together, and Viktor's thoughts were very interesting, and the fact that you put in his accent made things just seem a little bit more real. You write him very well and realistically, and all in all I just quite loved the idea of this, no criticism needed at all. Well done.

Author's Response: Aw, gosh, thanks! :D I love reading your reviews (if that any way manages to compare, lol). It was quite a weird idea for me, the idea of Fleur and Viktor, since I adore Bill/Fleur, but it turned out all right in the end, I think. Accents! They were so annoying! I had to keep going back and checking I hadn't missed out a 'ze' or anything like that :D Totally worth the effort, though :P

Thank you very very much!

Aph xx


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Review #9, by RosieQueen A Green-Eyed Monster

1st May 2012:
It's Rosie from the blue vs bronze review battle! :)

This was so well-written! I've honestly never read a Viktor/Fleur story before, so this was definitely very refreshing.

You did an amazing job with the accents. I try to avoid writing Fleur and Krum as much as I can, because those accents are very difficult to write. But you put BOTH of their accents in the same story! For that, I congratulate you! :D

I loved the concept of this one-shot, and how Krum finally got over Hermione but by reading I know that he still cares about her, just not in the same way.

I also find it interesting that in Viktor's mind he's actually very well-spoken, but when he actually speaks he isn't. But I'm glad you wrote it that way. It's realistic; nobody thinks in an accent. I actually ran across a Krum story once, and they wrote it so that it seemed Krum thought in accent, which was really, really weird.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this. Lots of fluff and a good amount of romance- just the way I like it. I really love your writing style, it has a wonderful flow to it. Keep on writing! And sorry if I rambled...

~Rosie

Author's Response: Thank you! Honestly, I've never read one either - this was a present for maskedmuggle on the forums because I found a post where she said she'd like to see one, so... I wrote one :D

The accents killed me, gosh! They were so annoying! I kept forgetting to include them, or skipping the odd word or so... thanks! (I'm never doing it again, though - ever!)

I knew when I wrote it that I was always going to have to at least mention Hermione, so I actually planned out how her and Viktor's relationship would have gone, kinda thing. You know, when she'd have stopped liking him, when he'd have stopped liking her, etc. Plus, I'm a huge canon fan, so I couldn't have Hermione pining after him or anything (and I'm a secret romantic, so I couldn't have him pining after her either!)

Oh gosh no, I could never do that! That would break my brain! O.o To be honest, we don't know how fluidly he speaks in Bulgarian, so he could be very well-spoken in his mother tongue, just not in English :P Who knows?

Thank you so much - this review was really lovely!

Aph xx


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Review #10, by charlottetrips A Green-Eyed Monster

5th February 2012:
Adorable, it really was. I had to get over the accent thing (I find it admirable that you took the time to do that but it's personally something I found annoying from the books) and then over the incredulity of Fleur and Krum and then we were golden!

avoiding to look at the mirror-Viktor the lights had produced, - this sentence didn't quite make sense to me.

And onto the good stuff - this was a nice moment to witness, the moment when Viktor fully got over Hermione and moved on. It as funny reading it as Viktor is actually pretty well spoken in his head and then he opens his mouth and sounds like a foreigner. He's also a romantic and it's so adorable to look at the character, who's a sports celebrity, a burly man, and realize that he's squishy and cuddly.

His parting line to Ron had me actually laughing out loud. It's awesome that while he isn't all tied up about Hermione anymore, he still cares for her and wants her to do well (as well as him being able to verbally slap Ron with something).

This was well-written.

Author's Response: Thanks! I know the accents are a bit irritating - but it's part of their characters, you know? Like Hagrid - it's weird to see them written without it.
Ah, right. 'mirror-Viktor' = reflection, that's all! I think that should clear it up for you... :S
I wanted to include Hermione, because he had obviously liked her and liked her quite a bit and it was important to recognise that, I think. Especially since he doesn't seem the type to like loads of girls. But yes, he's adorable. Like a teddy-bear, really :D
Haha, thanks! I wasn't sure about that line when I wrote it, but people seem to like it, so it's grown on me!

Thanks for the lovely review!
Aph xx


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Review #11, by ginerva_molly_weasley A Green-Eyed Monster

29th October 2011:
This is one of the better written Krum and Fleur fics i've read.
It's interesting as I wanted to know how they ended up getting together but I agree that you made them to be a really compatible couple who could work together.
Also Krum's hankering over Hermione seems to fit in well with canon as he always liked her when Ron was jealous, you made the story really come alive with the setting of a ball.
You really make Krum's personality come across with him trying not to argue with Ron but also very attentive to Fleur.

GinevraMollyPotter

Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I haven't read any others, so it was a bit of a step into the dark for me.
Viktor's so protective of Hermione, lol, it's kinda cute in an awkward way. His personality... oh gosh, it was so hard, so I'm so happy you find it comes across well!

Thanks very much for your review!
Aph xx


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Review #12, by Happy Hedwig A Green-Eyed Monster

29th October 2011:
Wow! The first four paragraphs are certainly filled with an air of suspense, so much so that one just has to keep reading. The description is perfect, not too much yet not too little.

Also, you have mastered the reactions and personalities of the characters, they are exactly as I would imagine them to be. Your summary is spot on as well, full of mystery yet not giving the plot away.

Regarding the plot, I think a ball is perfect for this sort of situation, and I especially love Viktor's attitude towards it.

The grammar and punctuation has no errors as far as I can see, which also assists in helping the story flow.

My opinion on your concern over turning this into a short story would probably be that I would absolutely love to read more! I feel that the ball is a great setting to reunite all the characters, yet I would be excited to read a different plot or setting altogether. I appreciate as it is a one-shot, it is difficult to include everything in such a short context.

Great story- well done!

~ Happy Hedwig :D

Author's Response: I've come to quite enjoying writing summaries, as it happens, lol. They're still annoying and hard, but it's quite fun pretending that you're publishing/making a movie out of your story and you need a blurb/tagline-type-thing.
Fleur wasn't too difficult, but Viktor was impossible! He's such a private character that getting into his head was really hard. I'm glad, though, that you think they've turned out alright!
Haha, writing Viktor's attitude was so much fun! Also, because they're kinda similar people I wanted something to make them completely different and to sort of fill them out.
Hm... I'll think about it a little longer, but thanks for your opinion! It just depends on my other projects and what happens with those...

Thank you very much for your review!
Aph xx


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Review #13, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A Green-Eyed Monster

11th October 2011:
Hello! Dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap here with your requested review! Lets get reviewing! Just so you know I tend to start with a running review and then towards the middle/end I tend to give up because the stories become too interesting! Haha.

I can already tell you're writing about Viktor in the very beginning or maybe I'm wrong. But I don't think I am because he's thinking about Quidditch, then again Ron plays Quidditch. But the reason I think it's Viktor is because he's very intune with himself, he, to me anyway, has always been that person (even though he's really only in the fourth book) that wasn't flashy. He seemed the type to be nervous around Hermione and because of the way he speaks, his accent I would say, or the language barrier he has with the others at Hogwarts it makes sense that he would have a 'long-lasting relationship with nervousness.' Love the elephant stamping his stomach! Everyone usually uses butterflies, I know I do, but elephants seem manlier.

You said you were worried about characterization. I haven't gotten that far into this one-shot yet but just the small things that you add into the story make it believable. I mean Fleur is beautiful and Viktor is quite a delicious looking man and the small details you add in really make it seem like they are these two people that deserve all this attention. Which is what J.K.R was going for in the fourth book when she introduced them. These are two big characters and they need a powerful introduction but you did it in such a way where I'm smiling because the secretary, his mouth is open. Everyone is watching them. That's what I like, everyone is watching them but it isn't overly dramatic.

I can also see the green-eyed monster coming to play because Viktor wants to punch the secretary and the tiger in his chest---honestly these animals you add in are perfect metaphors to use---because another man is helping fleur? He is a typical man, thank you for making him a typical man and not a pansy!

Ah, you keep Fleur and Viktor in character so well! You've really got the spelling down which is hard! I'm impressed, I know I wouldn't be able to write them because thinking about how they would speak English, well, it brings a whole new meaning to the English language!

I'm sorry but that kiss was epic. Hands down, Fleur and Viktor a new favorite pairing of mine. Once I'm done writing this review I'm favoriting this one-shot because that was just too good! That one line: Now we can go. Made all the difference to it, it was a bit funny, a bit heart warming and perfect for their personalities.

You even had Ron and Ginny stay true to character as well. There wasn't much Hermione or Harry (even though the awkward nervousness was there when he went to interrupt the couple). Having Ron add in that he and Hermione are engaged made me shake my head because that is so Ron. He would add that in towards the end just to show Viktor that he won, Hermione is his.

I also really like how you have Viktor put Hermione on this pedestal. She's a great friend to him and you clarify that their relationship is just a friendship but you can tell in the books and I can tell in this that he really respects her.

This was my favorite part though of the entire thing, it was a perfect ending: In his stomach, the elephant settled down to sleep, the butterflies folded up their patterned wings and the green-eyed monster faded away, crumbling into dust.

I love when endings tie into the beginnings and sentences compliment each other.

You did a wonderful job writing this. The characters are true to heart and the entire concept, the green eyed monster is believable because jealously really can hinder us just like it did to Viktor.

The one thing I will say is you need to go over this one more time; there were two errors, nothing big, just a small word missing here and there but it didn't take away from the story.

Thank you so much for requesting a review!

Author's Response: Haha, that's fine! It seems a perfectly sensible way to go about it!
I honestly have no idea why I used an elephant. I used a tiger in another piece and butterflies really are a bit girly :P
I've never written either of them before and I was really unsure about his characterisation (I re-read the bits in GoF with him in specifically for this) so I'm so glad that you think it's alright. And they are big characters, and actually quite fun to write. I may have to write more about them...
Well, Viktor in the books is quite jealous, so I kinda based the beginning off that, really.
The spelling killed me, lol! It was so infuriating! I was forever deleting words and editing 'the' to 'ze', etc.
The bit with the kiss was my favourite part to write :D
I adore Ron and the way he's so funny and protective and... well, Ron. I debated about putting more Hermione in, but thought that it might detract from the Viktor/Fleur, due to GoF.
I've always imagined the Hermione/Viktor relationship to be more under Hermione's control, in a way since I've always thought of him as being really shy.
Ooh, typos! I do that all the time; thanks for pointing it out!

Thanks so much for the wonderful review!
Aph xx


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Review #14, by makemeover A Green-Eyed Monster

9th October 2011:
This was definitely a believable one-shot! I think their characterizations were spot-on, this is how I picture both Viktor and Fleur to act.

I love how Fleur is so care-free and oblivious to everyone around her being so impressed by her. She doesn't even notice when people practically drool over her. And I love how Viktor is sort of the opposite - really shy and doesn't say much. He doesn't need to fill silences at all, he's content to just sit in the silence.

Even Ron was written well. I like his interaction with Viktor at the end, and how when he's talking about Hermione, he says, "We're engaged." That's so Ron to have to tack that on at the end - just to let Viktor know like, yeah, you know, she's still mine. I'm the man, I have Hermione, not you.

The only questionable part was in the beginning when Viktor was thinking about how nervous he'd been to ask Fleur out. I can see him being a little nervous, but he reflects on his anxiety during multiple nights and how he couldn't stop thinking about it. He was such a huge Quidditch star though and everyone knew who he was. He had girls following him around at Hogwarts and he had previously been friendly with Fleur, so I don't know that I can see him being that nervous about asking her.

Other than that - it was great! I love the descriptions and this was definitely enjoyable to read!

Author's Response: Thanks - it was really hard to write Viktor, since we don't see that much of him in the books. Fleur was pretty fun and interesting :D

I love Ron, he's hilarious! I tried to keep him true to the books, because it really annoys me when he's OOC and it would be hypocritical of me not to, you know?

Hm... I wasn't too sure about the beginning, but he never seemed to me particularly good with girls, like in GoF when he spends all the time in the Library just to ask Hermione, but at the same time perhaps it was a little OOT. I'll probably take another look at this after NaNo's over, so thanks for mentioning that!

Thanks for the lovely review!
Aph xx


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Review #15, by silverstarletworld89 A Green-Eyed Monster

1st October 2011:
Ok LOL!! I know Fleur and Viktor speak like that (kudos by the way, for keeping it up throughout the one-shot and keeping it realistic) I just find it really funny when I see it written *chukles to self* . And “You vill be good to her, no? Othervise I vill come over from Bulgaria and break your head.” LMAO, I seriously could not stop laughing. I am unsure if you wanted it to be funny, but I just love the way that you have written them.

Fantastic Job!!

Silverstarletworld

Author's Response: It is really funny when it's written, but it's also a pain to write. It's all the little words you don't think about! Grr. I didn't quite mean it to be as funny as it's turned about, but it wasn't intended to be particularly serious or anything, so it's all good!

Thanks for the lovely review!
Aph xx


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Review #16, by maskedmuggle A Green-Eyed Monster

1st October 2011:
WOW. Gahhh! I loved this so, so, SO much! :) Thank you so much for writing it! :D I definitely LOVED Fleur/Krum in this, and even more, I loved how you wrote this fic! You are a very talented writer! I'm definitely going to go check out your other fics this week because you really write wonderfully! Ooh, and I loved how you came up with a situation/plot where Fleur/Krum was so amazingly believable and real!

So I meant to review yesterday, then my dad pulled me away from the computer, but I'm here now! Gosh, from the beginning, you got my attention straightaway, and had me fully hooked all the way through. I LOVED the plot, it is so brilliant and I just really enjoyed how you told the story.

Your writing is so amazing. I really loved how you used more original phrases to convey Viktor's feelings - "A lonely elephant stamped its way through his stomach, butterflies beating restlessly above it" Butterflies are used by quite a few people, but I actually haven't heard of elephants stamping through someone's stomach, which is a brilliant metaphor! The dialogue was all entertaining to read and so in character as well! I loved how you wrote both Viktor and Fleur with accents! I actually didn't think about that, but that is certainly a similarity they have! You did a really great job with the accents, and I liked the few french words thrown in as well - it made it feel even more authentic. So I loved that bit where Viktor reflected about Fleur on their similarities and polar differences and that "Opposites attract, yes, but similarities keep you together." Great line!

I just loved the plot! All the descriptions and dialogue worked so well together. Ooh, I loved the characterisation of the trio, Ginny as well! I really liked how you also wrote about Viktor's emotions and feelings throughout the story! I like how Harry interrupts them, and then that moment when Fleur kisses Viktor is so sweet!

I LOVED this part as well, when Ginny says the paragraph about "Zat girl ees so annoying," and Viktor thinks it's Hermione, but no, it's Ginny! Haha. And of course, this line by Viktor made me laugh as well, "Othervise I vill come over from Bulgaria and break your head." Hehe.

I suppose if I had to find something to critique about it, I'd say the ending. I mean, the ending is beautiful, finishing it with a line that connects it to the beginning, but it did feel just a little abrupt. I would have loved to see the complete ending of the night ;) if that makes sense! But really minor detail because..

Wow~ I just honestly really loved and really enjoyed this story. Not only do you write absolutely wonderfully with the plot, all the characterisation.. but the basically perfect grammar, spelling and punctuation really made this a flawless story. Absolutely brilliant! Again, thanks so much for writing this. It's definitely a really unique story, and to reiterate - you are a fantastic writer and I loved this!

- charlotte :)

Author's Response: Aww, thanks! *hugs* I actually wrote it and then scrapped the entire thing because I hated it... and then wrote this, lol. Took me so long to be happy with it.
I debated about what metaphor to use coz butterflies are always used, I used tiger in another fic and decided (somehow) on elephant. It was completely random, but I'm glad you like it. The accents were murder to write! Gosh, I can't remember how many times I had to go back and change a 'the' or 'we' to something else, lol.
Viktor's emotions... grr... it was so hard! The plot, on the other hand, was the second one and I felt it kinda gave me more of a chance to show everything, rather than tell everything.
Of course he thinks it's Hermione, lol! He's so oblivious, it's cute. I tried to find a better threat, but thought that it kinda worked. It made me giggle too.
I debated about continuing it, but had no idea what else to write, lol. It kinda finished itself...

Thanks so much for all the wonderful compliments! I enjoyed writing it (even though at times I wanted to hit my head on a wall :D) and it was definitely a new experience for me. I'm really glad you like it!
Aph xx


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Review #17, by NaidatheRavenclaw A Green-Eyed Monster

1st October 2011:
That was adorable! And I loved the end. Krum, I think, was always affected by jealousy, so that last line was just perfect. It closed off the one shot so nicely.

Now that I read this, I'm actually surprised to not have stumbled across Viktor/Fleur before. The way you wrote them actually made it a really sweet ship! I thought it was really believable, and I like how they just did little things. Your Viktor was characterized perfectly, and good job with the accents!

The one thing I would have liked to see was a mention of Bill, somewhere. They didn't necessarily have to get married, but they were together for a few years, and I would have loved to see a small mention of that.

Really though, great story! :D
-Naida

Author's Response: I was really worried about the end, if it was too much or too little (I'm really bad at this kinda thing) so it's good to know you liked it!
I've never seen them before either, but the potential is interesting. Writing Viktor killed me, though - it was unbelievably hard - and the accents were so frustrating. I can't count the number of times I typed 'we' and then had to change it...
I did think about mentioning him, at one point, instead of Roger Davies, but thought that perhaps it might not be the best move in this one-shot, given the title.

Thanks for the review and I'm so glad you like it!
Aph xx


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