Hi Summer! Here's Aditi dropping by to random review you ;)
Ooh I loved this! I chose this story because I hardly read any Molly/Arthur's, and I was quite intrigued by the summary. This is a very different aspect of their relationship that you have explored, and its great. We get to see the insecurities and doubt that Molly went through in the initial stages of her relation with Arthur, which is definitely something new, since most stories I've come across don't pick such moments.
I liked how you maintained a kind of suspense throughout to know what she was so worried about, and all. It was good. The little "back then" descriptions also added a nice touch to the story. I do wish though that you had ended this with Arthur's reaction rather than the news though, but anyways, this made for a nice read!
(AditiDraco95) Report Review
I loved this too! You had me in so much suspense all the way through! I never tend to look at who stories are about before I read them, so I was so convinced all the way through that this was Ginny and Harry! And then when I reached the end and found that it was Molly and Arthur I just sat there in shock! When Molly was saying that he had left her before, that's when my mind switched to Ginny because of Harry leaving her before he went horcrux hunting! The similarities you showed between the two (whether intentional or not) give the story that extra bit of confusion.
All the way through I also wanted to know what she had done. I was literally fighting with myself not to read past where I was so that I could find out. I wasn't expecting her to be pregnant though! I thought she had done something wrong or quit her job or something. The way she thought about it and thought he would hate her; I just couldn't imagine anyone doing what she was expecting when given the news. But when I think about it now, people do over think things and she could easily have thought the worst, especially if he had done it before!
Again, I loved this! Amazing job!!!Author's Response: More Amy reviews :D
I'm glad you liked it and if you havent guessed I like suspense and angst!
It's not Ginny and Harry, I kind of edged towards them a little bit before deciding Molly and Arthur would be more interesting.
She hadn't done anything, she was only pregnant but she was still young and naieve. She did overthink it a lot but hey it worked!
I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
It's Ash from the forums here with your review. I initially chose this story this because it's actually pretty rare for me to read Arthur/Molly despite it being pretty much the most canon of all pairings in existence. What I really liked about this was the fact that you captured such a different side to their relationship, one that we don't necessarily see, or even really imagine when reading about them in the books. I know when I read about them I think they have these little arguments, but then they also have this incredibly strong relationship as well so I really liked the situation you've put them in here because it really did explore a different side to them.
I did notice a couple of little spelling/grammar issues in the story but they were fairly small so it's nothing really to worry about, perhaps the biggest one I noticed was in the following line: "I'd been in love with him for 6 years and it weren't about to stop now." 'Weren't' sounds a little awkward when reading and would perhaps be better as 'wasn't' but aside from that nothing else really actually stopped the flow of the story when I was reading. Overall, the story flows pretty well, and the narration being from Molly's perspective was great and showed not only a lot about herself but about the Arthur you have written in this piece.
I also liked how you've written in a bit of their history at Hogwarts and what their lives have been like after leaving school, it's interesting because the couple you're portraying seems so different to the one I recognize from the books, but it's so easy to see how they became the characters/pairing I know and love from this situation. It's really just a great insight into their characters.
Overall it's a great little one-shot and it was really interesting to see what their lives might have been like before the books began! Keep up the great work!
~ InTheShadowsIDwellAuthor's Response: Hey :)
Thank you for the review. I rarely read Molly and Arthur either because I love their story in canon and they are just simply too wonderful to ignore but I love writing them together.
I tried to capture a different side of them because not much is really said about them before they have their children so I like to explore that side of them and I'm glad you liked it.
Haha the whole 'wasn't' 'weren't' that I can never seem to get right. I shall go and have a look over that and change it because that is the one think. I'm glad you like the flow and the narration between them.
The couple is very different from the one they have developed into especially Molly but as they grew and had more children they would have obviously developed more and become the people in the books.
Thank you again for the review Report Review
I really enjoyed this. You don't see a lot of Molly/Arthur so this was very refreshing to read!
I loved how you had us as readers waiting with Molly as she waited for Arthur to come home. I think that me personally I could really feel Molly's nerves and her emotions in this :)
Even though that as readers, we obviously know that Arthur ends up with Molly I still thought it was a great way to end the one-shot with her telling him that she was pregnant :)
Overall it was a very nice one-shot! Well done!Author's Response: Hey :)
Thank you for your review and I agree that you don't see much Molly and Arthur which is why I loved to write it!
I know we all know how it ends up which is why I liked to leave it quite open ended as I felt it needed no further explanation!
Thank you! Report Review
I'm so glad I picked this one to review, I've never read a Arthur/Molly and I think you've nailed them perfectly. You must write another chapter because this story is really quite awesome! :)Author's Response: Hey thank you for the review!
Arthur and Molly for me was very difficult to write because in canon they've always been the 'perfect' couple with them being so close and the couple that everyone aspires to be like.
This was originally meant to be just a one-shot but more people are asking me to write another chapter so we shall see how it goes! Report Review
This was so much fun to read! I've never ever read an Arthur/Molly fic, and now that I've read yours that surprises me, because it's such a wonderful pairing. I guess not a lot of thought goes into how those two got together because you always picture them together. Always.
So this was really different and really lovely. I like that Molly is stressing over the fact she's pregnant but only because she's concerned about Arthur's reaction.
Also, the insight into all her worries and her plans to leave him if he takes it badly is just so great. You portrayed this extra layer to Molly and her relationship with Arthur, which fits in really well, but is also a bit of a surprise.
I love that you left the ending open ended, it added way more emphasis to the last line. (Plus we all know how it ends anyway!)
You write wonderfully and for such a small one shot, it was certainly a great one!Author's Response: Hey thanks for the review!
I'm glad you liked it and I agree that it is just a wonderful pairing. They have always been seen as one of the most perfect couples which is what I like about the couple.
Molly is just a stresshead who thinks that Arthur is a different man to who he actually is so she just worries about what will happen and if he will leave her.
I'm glad you liked this being open ended as I think it gave people more of an opportunity to make their own ending. Report Review
Reading this story made me want to get up in dance. Haha, just kidding, but this one-shot was incredible. Writing is something you're amazing at, and I'm in awe of your beautiful talent. Oh, Arthur, I can imagine his reaction to the last line. If I were him, I'd say something like: "Are you sure I'm the father?" Haha. A couple of mistakes here and there, but that didn't change my view of this story at all because it was just too good. I'm sorry if my review isn't good enough for your liking, but I tried my best and keep on writing. ;*Author's Response: Please don't worry about your reviews! They're amazing because you're commenting on peoples stories. People don't judge them on length, I'm just grateful for everyone I have!
Thank you for saying I have a talent. Most of the time I doubt it because I don't believe my writing is anywhere near the standard of most of the wonderful authors on here so it's nice to think that.
I liked leaving this a little open ended as people could imagine their own ending.
Thank you again :) Report Review
Oh I liked this, it seems so real. Did you base it on someone? if you don't mind me asking. I really liked it, it felt like a true and real feelings. It holds something great and amazing, and I think you wrote it brilliantly!
I actually was just sitting looking out the review box, wondering what I should write because I have no idea, anything I say will not even be close enough to how much I like this story, and that is just sad because it is amazing.
Amazing job, amazing, amazing job.
LizzieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review!
I'm glad you liked it and nope I didn't base it on anyone! It was one of my first challenge entries so I found it really hard to write so I'm glad it came across well.
That is really sweet that you are wondering what to write. I'm just glad you liked it! Report Review
Hey! Here from review tag :) I've always found this ship kind of interesting to explore and so I thought I'd come check this out.
I think this is a really neat take! I remember something Molly said about she and Arthur tying the knot fairly quickly while they were still young because of the war, and this ties in perfectly with that. I really like how you haven't written them as being totally perfect and happy, and I also like how this piece foreshadows the many children to come of their relationship and eventual marriage. I think you did well with exploring Molly's complicated feelings and showing that she and Arthur did care about each other, even if times were hard.
Good job! :)
academicaAuthor's Response: Hey :) Thank you for the review.
This was actually my first one shot I ever wrote so I haven't looked at it for a long time although it's nice to know people are still reading it.
No relationship is ever completely perfect and I felt I needed to show some of the worries that normal couples actually have. I thought I needed to foreshadow their marriage and show Molly really as being young because that side of her has never been seen in the actual books.
I'm glad you liked it Report Review
And another Secret Santa Pressie :)
Another great idea, I never thought of the way they'd confront first getting pregnant, it probably had been scary, considering that there was also Voldemort at large at the time.
You really did well conveying how nervous she was, and it's so unfair we can't know his reaction!! It'd be really neat if you did another chapter in his point of view of what happened, maybe what he'd done earlier and it completely threw him off, or maybe he'd had a feeling there was something going on with her, and he was just elated, but still stressed?
I'd love to know, but also this was a great ending, I'm torn :)
great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!
I'm glad you think it's quite a thought provoking story as this was my first challenge entry when I started posting my stories on here.
I thought it made it more effective if I didn't show his reaction as I hoped people would want to read on and be intrigued. I'm glad you thought it was a great ending.
Thank you Report Review
Very good story :)
I have never read Arthur/Molly as a main pairing before, I mean, sure, it's been a backup pairing but I've never seen a whole story dedicated to them, so congrats for doing something different!
I picked up the occasional typo but nothing grammatical and nothing too big to turn me off the story :)
I liked it how you didn't give us their names until Molly began to talk; gives the reader a bit to wander. Just a suggestion, maybe you could go back and put some of the flashbacks she's thinking about in the story? Just a suggestion because it will add more emotion when Molly tells Arthur she's pregnant? That's just my opinion, you don't have to do it :)
All in all, great story!
*jaz, 9/10Author's Response: Thank you for the review! This was my first ever story so I'm contemplating editing it although I may just leave it so it shows how much I've progressed as a writer after doing this.
The flash backs would be a good idea, I'll be sure to think about that if I do decide to edit it.
Thankyou for reviewing this story... it's my neglected baby :D Report Review
Hi :) tmwtti here from the review tag thread at the forums.
First of all, I just want to mention some spelling mistakes I saw that you might want to correct:
"concience" should be "conscience"
"My mind wondered" should be "wandered"
"i'd" should be "I'd"
"reminice" should be "reminisce"
"what if's" should be "ifs"
"I needed him, what if he decided he didn't want me anymore" needs a "?" at the end
"it weren't about to stop now." - did you mean "I wasn't about to stop now"?
"i'm about to do." should be "I'm".
So, I think you managed to achieve a lot in so few words. You showed all Molly's insecurities about Arthur very well, and how it was eating at her. I always think it's very easy for one worry to nag at you until it's blown really out of proportion, so that was really realistic. I thought she was really believable. It's also quite sad, because Arthur probably wasn't going to leave her but she's convinced herself he is because of what happened when they were at Hogwarts. Poor Molly!
One thing - I'm a bit confused about the ending. Is she lying about being pregnant to make him stay with her? Or is she actually pregnant and just chose that moment to tell him? I'm thinking it's the former, but it would have been nice to see his reaction to that or at least, how she expects him to react. From the Molly I'm familiar with, I'm not sure she would trick him into marrying her, but I think you have all the ingredients in this fic already to make it believable. Just a few more thoughts at the end would have made it more believable.
I hope that helped, I love Molly/Arthur and I really loved how far you took Molly's character here :)Author's Response: Thankyou for your review and your help with the little bit of spelling and grammar.
This was actually my first one shot so it's not one of my better ones but I really do like it a lot. Molly is actually pregnant and just thought of this moment to tell him which was why she was so nervous.
Thank you again for the review :D Report Review
Its me for your review for entering the challenge! And I really like this story! I love how you make it so simple and end it with a confession at the end and left it like that. It makes the reader satisfied but inturiged to the Authurs reaction which is good. Your language is great too and I like how you describe Molly's anxiousness, well done!Author's Response: Thank you for the review.
I'm glad you liked it for the challenge as it was my first challenge entry. I enjoyed writing it quite a lot
Thanks again for the review x Report Review
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