Reading Reviews for Untainted
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp Victorious

13th January 2013:
Slytherin review tag!

Aw this was such a sweet sweet sweet story, its put this sweet little smile on my face. I absolutely LOVED it, just like I mostly love all your stories - seriously how are you such a brilliant writer! *hats off*

Coming back to the story, I think you've written this in the most beautiful manner ever. I really, really liked reading it. Your writing style was really smooth and very engrossing. I liked how you showed Teddy and Victoire's relationship grown from little strangers to parents.

The characters of Teddy and Vic were crafted very well too. I liked how you portrayed Victoire as this quiet, shy, Ravenclaw, instead of the usually cliche bold and proud Gryffindor we see her as in fanfiction. I also loved Teddy, he really seemed so sweet and caring and in a way, broken (so different from the selfish needy Teddy I write in my stories :P ). I loved how he was haunted by the truth of his parents, and how Victoire was able to provide him comfort so well. The graveyard scene was so beautifully written, it broke my heart.

My favourite quote was certainly this: "He prefers Teddy, which is fine by me because hes as soft and comforting as any stuffed animal." This just shows Victoire's innocence and how much she values Teddy and I really loved it.

The ending was really very sweet too and I went all "Awww" =)

I think this is such a lovely story that you've here and I am so glad that I came across it and decided to read it. Truly one of the best Victoire/Teddy fics I have read, and so I am off to the Story Recommendations - Ships section on the HPFF forums now to recommend this lovely story for Victoire/Teddy =)

Great job! 10/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. If I haven't said so before, I am a big fan of your writing, and I really wish I could write the way you do. *hugs*

Author's Response: AD! I can't thank you enough for your high praise on this story, not only here but also on the forums. It really means a lot to me, though I'm sure I don't deserve all of your kind words. Just don't sell your own writing short--you're very talented and, as I've said, I love your work!

I'm glad the flow and characterization worked well for you. I see a lot of very loud, flashy Victoire and I wanted to try something different with this story--which is, as I'm sure I've told you, something I do quite a bit. I guess my Teddy is really different from yours, hah! I wanted to play up the fact that he's still a little broken up about not having his parents around and that dealing with the truth of what he could become scares him. The graveyard scene you mentioned was really the catalyst for this whole story, and with the exception of the last scene, it was my favorite part to write.

Yeah, I wanted to play up that innocence between Teddy and Victoire. I wanted them both to come across as a little uncertain and human and in mutual need of each other. This was definitely meant to have a soft feel to it, on top of the darker themes that are present.

Thanks so much for your lovely review :)

-Amanda


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Review #2, by slytherinchica08 Victorious

1st January 2013:
Oh Amanda! This is another really sweet and cute oneshot! This just had me gushing the whole time about how cute it was! I loved all the different looks into different periods of their lives! Though one thing I was wondering was if you had intended for the story to be all centered as i found it a little distracting for me to have everything centered but than again I've never really been one to like anything centered unless its like the title or stating a change. I just wanted to point it out in case you hadn't intended the whole thing to be centered though. I do enjoy reading about these two and how they get together and I think that this oneshot about them did a great job of not only explaining how they got together but their whole relationship! I really enjoyed this! From your Slytherin Secret Santa!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi Erica, nice to see you again!

I don't write a lot of fluff, and even this one was pretty dark in places, but I enjoyed toying with next-gen. I like the ship of Teddy and Victoire a lot. Sorry the centered text distracted you--some others have mentioned it, so I might go back and change it, but at the time I wanted to play with a different style.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful review :)

-Amanda


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Review #3, by tangledconstellations Victorious

1st September 2012:
Hey lovely!

Thought I'd leave you a little review! :D

I really enjoyed reading this - short and sweet! I loved the way you set up each section in the same way, and you carried us through their relationship so gently. It was so lovely, too, to have Teddy's worries interwoven between each section, as well. It reinforced the fact that the two of them know each other inside out. I felt like their relationship was so rock-solid throughout this.

I also really liked the way Victoire was much more humble and gentle in this. Almost, a bit less sure of herself. Normally, people characterise her to be this loud boisterous character, but I really like your Victoire. She's so genuine :)

I really enjoyed this! I'm so sorry this review is so short, but I thought I would scatter some happiness as I floated through! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura, and thank you! I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to post a response for you!

This piece was my first foray into next-gen, and it was kind of interesting to write because it's got this surface-level fluff that seems to hide some darker undertones. I'm glad you felt like it flowed nicely and that you got a good sense of Teddy and Victoire's relationship.

Something I like to do a lot in my fics is try to turn stereotypical characterizations on their heads. With canon characters, that usually means looking at a canon trait in a different light. With next-gen, though, we don't know much about any of the characters, so I wanted to challenge the portrayal you mentioned and try a softer Victoire here :) I'm glad you felt like it worked well stylistically.

Thanks so much for your sweet review!

-Amanda


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Review #4, by Beeezie Victorious

22nd April 2012:
Have I ever told you that you are one of the best writers on the archives? Best if I haven't, I am now.

I adore this story. I'm a huge Teddy/Victoire fan, and I love the way you've written them. You did a great job at changing Victoire's voice as you went along and she grew up, which really helped pull me into the story. I also felt like you really managed to give Victoire and Teddy very distinct and interesting personalities in a very short amount of space. I fell in love with them as characters, and the story was just 1500 words long. I'm not surprised that you managed it, though - see "best writer" comment. :P

Victoire at eleven was absolutely believable, and, as importantly, she was distinctive. I've often found that when people write about a student's first trip to Hogwarts, it comes off as fairly formulaic, but this wasn't. Yes, you talked about her feeling nervous, which was important, because realistically, she should be feeling nervous, but between her comments ("I am the blind leading the blind") and her wishing they'd gotten there later than they did so she wouldn't have to choose where to sit, this came off beautifully, and utterly and completely your own.

I was a bit confused by something in this first section, though. I'm assuming that the boy with brown hair was Teddy, but from the way the section is written, it doesn't seem like Victoire knows who he is. That seemed a little strange to me - I don't necessarily think that they were best!friends!ever before Hogwarts, but I would think that they'd have at least met each other enough for Victoire to recognise him, you know?

The little scene of the two of them in the CR was just such an adorable portrayal of the start of their relationship. I love the idea of a teenage Teddy sneaking the girl he has a crush on into his CR, and their first kiss was one of the cutest things ever, and perfect considering their ages. I also loved that you kept some of the shyness that was there in the first section when you mentioned her not liking parties very much. (I loved everything. Let's just say that.)

I felt like you continued on in the same vein while still clearly showing that they've grown since the last section. I absolutely loved her thinking about a prince to sweep her off her feet and thinking that Teddy's the only one who can do it. It was just so perfect for a teenager who's clearly deeply in love, and there was something really nice about her thinking that she's never felt so victorious at the end - it fit the scene so well, and I think in that little sentence, you really showed so much character development from when she was younger. Her thinking that Fleur would be proud of her was also a great addition, because once I thought about it, I decided, "Yeah, I can see that."

Only one tiny issue: the dialogue isn't properly punctuated. It should be, "Did you hear me?" he says and "I love you," I call back softly. Otherwise, though, this is amazing.

The scene in the graveyard was probably my favourite section, because this was such an interesting take on how Teddy might have felt about Remus being a werewolf. The worries he has about who his father really was worked so well here. I can understand why he'd be so unsure and why those thoughts would go through his head, despite being told by many people that his father was a good person. I also loved the way you presented Remus's being a werewolf as causally related to his and Tonks's deaths - I can see how for him, years later, that leap might make sense. Nice parallel with Bill as well - you manage to say so much with so little!

The last two sections flow together really well. There was a natural progression from the proposal to her having Isabelle - I don't just mean that in the "after people get married they have children" sense. It's more about the themes, and the way you reference back to the graveyard and talk about the flecks in his eyes, and show that his and Victoire's relationship continued to change and grow. It's beautifully done.

So yeah. This was absolutely brilliant. Sorry for the meandering review that overused the word 'love.' :P

Adding it to my favourites now. :)

Author's Response: I'm pretty sure you have, but it means so much to hear it from you once again :) I'm so unbelievably sorry that this response has taken so long. School invaded my life in early April and really only just moved out, so I'm trying to make up for lost time as quickly as I can.

I'm so happy you like the characterization, because I know how much you love Teddy/Victoire. I had so much fun navigating Victoire's life with her and watching her and Teddy fall in love over the years. I'm glad the opening scene didn't come across as cliche, because I know what you mean about those Hogwarts Express scenes ending up a little "formulaic". I think you make an excellent point about Victoire knowing Teddy -- if I had to think about it, the only way I can think of that she wouldn't know him is if they played when they were really little, so she might not remember him, and then didn't see each other for several years. However, considering the family, I think your point is very much valid.

I definitely didn't want to go over the top with the romance here, just so I could keep things light, and so I wanted the whole piece to have a simple, innocent feel. I'm glad you felt like the common room scene fit that, and that you could identify with Victoire's girlish tendencies later on.

You're absolutely right about the dialogue tags. I wrote and published this piece before I had properly learned to use them, and so while my new work reflects the improvement, my older pieces are still incorrect. I may go back and edit them all later, but it probably won't happen until I'm out of new ideas :) Still, though, I appreciate you pointing it out.

The graveyard scene was the one that inspired this whole piece; it was a little bunny that related to the theme of lycanthropy that tied Victoire and Teddy together, and I felt like it hadn't yet been written, so I wanted to do it. It's great that you felt like Teddy's thoughts were realistic and liked the connections I made.

It's so lovely that you liked this and enjoyed following the progression, but even more that you were kind enough to leave such a comprehensive review. It really is a treasure to get one from you :)

Thanks again! I appreciate it so much! :)

-Amanda


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Review #5, by SilentConfession Victorious

24th March 2012:
Hi! I'm here for my end of the TGS review exchange! :D

For starters, I really liked this piece. I'm not a huge nextgen reader and I don't particularly like Teddy/Victoire. So I was pleasantly surprised that when I finished reading this I actually found myself liking them, so I suppose a thank you is in order. I think. =D

I really loved how you began this story. In the mind of an 11 year old and i feel like you captured that mind frame beautifully. Many authors sort of skip the mind frame and write it as if it was an older person speaking. But i love how it really reflected her own maturity and how that progressed as the story went on.

I've always really liked how narrative take this snapshot look at life and i think you did a lovely job choosing those moments that really helped define their relationship. I also liked that small moment of canon and how that moment seemed to be a huge moment of change for this shy girl. I never really imagined Victoire as you've written her but it's so refreshing to see her written this way and I think she fits perfectly with Teddy.

It was interesting take on Teddy as well, thinking that it might be a sin and perhaps it could have invaded him as well. I think that was my favourite bit, that and his eyes that changed with his moods. I liked the idea of his emotions being so open and how easily Victoire could read him and quiet his insecurities. You've made them seem like the perfect pair because they both know what it's like to have lycanthropy in the family (well, not fully, Bill obviously just got his scars) but not that many authors highlight that similarity and i think it's that that makes them work so well together.

Also, the fact that this very short one-shot spanned many years and i never felt like you were going too fast or skipping over anything important. It just flowed so well together and each moment just seemed to come naturally after the last. I've very jealous of the style here and this is honestly a very lovely take on this pairing. Great job, i enjoyed reading this immensely!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for coming by! :)

I'll take a thank you! Err -- thank you and you're welcome? Haha. I'm also not particularly inclined toward next gen, but I couldn't ignore this plunny, and I think the pairing is sweet.

It's nice to hear that the voice worked well. It was tough to write like an eleven-year-old, but I'm glad that I pulled it off for you!

I love that you found my portrayal of Victoire refreshing and could appreciate the way I tried to weave a moment from canon in with moments that might "fill in the gaps" in her life, as I've imagined it. I agree that we don't usually see her as shy, but I felt like she would work better with Teddy that way, and I definitely wanted to try something new. I'm also pleased that you could appreciate Teddy's vulnerability. He was tough, but I felt like a kid who lost his parents might be a little sensitive and complicated, and I tried to map it out from that mindset.

Finally, it's lovely that the flow and style worked for you. I was a little worried that it would be too "skippy", but that doesn't seem to be the case, which is wonderful!

Thanks so much for your awesome review :)

-Amanda


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Review #6, by In The Shadows I Dwell Victorious

20th March 2012:
Hi,
I have to start by saying I love how you decided to tell this in parts, it's always been one of my favorite techniques that any writer could use and I really love how you've used it here, showing how their relationship as it is progressing and how each of the characters and the events in their lives changes over time. I also like how you started it with their meeting and ended it with the birth of a child, because it really gave me as a reader a sense of the life they have lived together, I also have to admit I love how you managed to bring the Epilogue into this as well.

I'm going to talk about Victoire, because I really love how you've characterized her, I never actually saw her as possibly being a Ravenclaw until I read this, and I really think you added something unique to her character by making her shy. I also love how Teddy was there for her right from the very beginning and how she too is there for him when he needs her most, at the graveyard, it's easy to see what makes their relationship so strong. I also like how the story is told from her perspective because it's always interesting to see how each of the characters from the next generation is written. I also loved the similar lines which opened each section, which immediately showed what stage of her life she was in, and where Teddy was during it within the space of a single line. They worked really well, as did the rest of the story.

If there was one thing I noticed that really stood out, it was the fact that this was so short, well it's not really, but when reading the time just seems to vanish, and I was left wishing that it was over a few chapters or just was a little longer. Other than that the writing was wonderful, the descriptions and detail that you've given are really great and really add to the relationship you are showing over the span of 17 years, and was a really great insight into their relationship which you've managed to show in this one-shot so wonderfully!

Keep up the great work!
~ In The Shadows I Dwell

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm glad you liked the "stage" format of this piece. I wanted to try to jump between the important points in Teddy and Victoire's relationship without things seeming too disjointed. It's good that you thought I included all of the valuable pieces with appropriate detail.

I agree that Victoire as a shy girl seems somewhat unusual. I always see people write her as being vivacious and extravagant, and as with most of my work, I wanted to take a different direction. I think her quiet nature and sweetness makes the relationship seem more innocent and serves to bring her closer to Teddy, who is obviously hurting a lot. I'm happy that the similar formatting of each section helped you acquaint yourself with their relationship in a pleasing way.

It sounds like what you're saying is that the flow was good, but it was a little short for your taste. I can understand that -- this was my first foray into next-gen, really, and I didn't want to get too ambitious. I'm sure I'll revisit this relationship in a future story, if that helps.

Thanks so much for your kind review! :)

-Amanda


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Review #7, by EnigmaticEyes16 Victorious

16th March 2012:
Aw, this was a really sweet, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, and then back to happy, one-shot. I liked the way you set it up too by centering it, it made your story look a lot more poignant and neat. I really enjoyed it and it was so well written with no mistakes, and so easy to read. You did a wonderful job with this.

xxEnigmaticEyes16

~green with envy 2012~

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy that you could appreciate the shifting emotions, and that the centered text worked for you. It was just something I wanted to experiment with a little bit.

I'm sorry this response took so long! :)

-Amanda


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Review #8, by Selene Victorious

8th March 2012:
First of all, let me just say I don't read many next-gens outside of validating. So this will be interesting! :) Also I like to type up the review as I read, so if it sounds odd... -laugh-

I enjoy how you portray her as an eleven year old, and you convey the feelings very well. We've all been in that unsure spot at some point in our life, afraid to let go of what we know to face the future but willing to go at the same time.

Aww they're so cute together!! Why haven't I read more of this ship before now? I know you have one of the genres labelled as fluff, but you keep it at the right level so its just enough. Not too mushy to make the ready just stare at it as though they've just drank pure sugar, but enough to make us smile at their cuteness. Very good!

This is a touching story, academica. I enjoy how you portrayed many important moments in their life. Having the whole chapter centered made it read a little wonky at times but that might just be my preference of things. Thank you for the enjoyable read!

Author's Response: That doesn't sound odd at all, considering that I use the same method when composing reviews, at least for the most part :)

It's great to hear that Victoire's eleven-year-old self came across well. I find it's harder for me to write young students as compared to young adults, so I'm always happy to hear that I've done it correctly.

I also don't read or write a lot of next-gen, but I'm trying to open myself up to it more, and this story was a first step. I really like Teddy and Victoire, and I do think they're cute :) It's good to hear that I effectively toed the line between fluff and romance. I definitely wouldn't want it to be nauseatingly mushy.

The centered text works for some people and not for others. I don't usually do it, but I wanted to try it out for this piece. I'm glad it didn't impede your enjoyment too much :)

Thanks for your lovely review! I apologize that the response took so long.

Amanda


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Review #9, by MoonLily_ Victorious

9th January 2012:
You made me cry! Out of hope sort of. This is beautiful! Very well written, easy to read. I love it :)

ML_ for Slytherin Review Tag :)

Author's Response: Hey! I'm sorry that I made you cry, but then again, this was a pretty emotional one-shot, wasn't it? I'm happy to hear that it was both easy to read and enjoyable for you.

Thanks for your kind review! :)

Amanda


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Review #10, by Jenna822 Victorious

3rd January 2012:
(Prize Review #2)

*wipes away tear*
This was beautiful. The scenes from her life were chosen perfectly, you seemed to capture the appropriate emotions and reactions for them, and you wrote it with such a delicate pen. Even though you invoked some heavy emotions, you never had to force them. It just...happened. Very poetic layout and your choice of using first person and present tense were great assets to the story. :) --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! You said it well -- I wanted this piece to explore serious themes but still keep a very fragile hold on things, never falling too deeply into one scene or another. I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! :)

Thanks for your kind review!

Amanda


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Review #11, by Roots in Water Victorious

29th December 2011:
Tag!

This was beautifully written- I really enjoyed reading it. I particularly enjoyed how you chose key moments in their lives to tell their story, not depending on one single moment to define them. The repetition of her age at the beginning of each section really helped to cement the flow of the story.

I really enjoyed how you showed their lives. It never occurred to me that Victoire wouldn't have met Teddy until they went to Hogwarts together or that she wouldn't have known that his father was a werewolf but I liked the way you framed those scenes. I also liked how you included the one canon reference to their relationship that we have- their kiss at the train station in Albus' first year.

I noticed that you said that the green colour of his eyes shows his father's eyes- for a moment as I was reading I interpreted it as a reference to Harry's role in Teddy's life but since the books never mentioned Remus' exact eye colouring, I suppose that his eyes could have been green as well. Did you mean anything special by the reference to green eyes?

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and I think that you did a wonderful job with it. I'm glad that I chose this story to read.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so happy you chose this one! For some reason, this piece doesn't seem to get as much exposure as some of my others, though I'm sort of proud of it, being next-gen and all. (I'm slightly reluctant to engage in next-gen because it's riddled with cliches, though I've come to appreciate it more since the time in which I wrote this.) To the point, though, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

Yes, I like to stick to canon for the most part, and so I wanted to include the train station scene as a way of anchoring the story. I also wanted to explore some possible "missing" moments. The graveyard scene was actually the inspiration for the entire story, because it kind of showed that they had the werewolf thing in common - Bill was attacked by one, but didn't turn into a full werewolf, and obviously we know the story of Remus. I'm also glad that the age worked well as a way of encouraging the flow of the story. That was entirely the point of that literary device.

It's interesting that the green eyes made you think of Harry. I think at the time I just chose a color, so that they could have been brown or green or blue or whatever. I only wanted the eyes to work as a sort of "mood ring" for Teddy, so that the gray was more significant than any other hue. It's always interesting when readers find things that you missed as an author, to echo one of your review responses :)

Thanks so much for coming by!

Amanda


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Review #12, by BambiScott Victorious

19th December 2011:
aw so wonderful loved it.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

I appreciate your kind review!

academica


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Review #13, by ImagineHarmony Victorious

19th October 2011:
This is really beautiful! I would normally be neutral to these time lapse stories but you've written it in such a fantastic way. It is really believable, and I think you portrayed Teddy and Victoire very nicely.

Very believable, this actually summarizes my view on Teddy & Victoire ship and how it might go! The imagery is great (like always) ;)

This was very refreshing, different from the previous Teddy/Victoire I've read and because of this, I might start reading/liking the ship/stories more! Continue with epic writing!

I know I am about a few weeks late, but oh well!

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm glad that you liked how I portrayed the pairing. I've gotten a few compliments on my treatment of Victoire, but it's good to know that readers also like the pairing as a whole. I can sympathize with you; I normally stay far, far away from Next-Gen, but a bunny pulled me in, and now I kind of like this pairing.

Thanks for your very kind review! :)

academica


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Review #14, by CambAngst Victorious

13th October 2011:
This is very nice. Technically, your writing is completely solid. Grammar, spelling, it's all spot on.

I like the characterization of Teddy and Victoire. The progression of her feelings for him reads very naturally.

The only thing I found a little odd was the idea that Victoire wouldn't have known about Teddy's father's lycanthropy. Once she started dating Teddy, it seems likely that her father or one of her aunts or uncles would have mentioned it.

Aside from that, well done!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review!

I took the perspective here that Victoire didn't know because her family would have wanted Teddy to discuss it with her if and when he wanted to do so. In addition, I think you could make the argument that maybe she did know vaguely but he didn't know that she was aware of it, or that it had just never been directly addressed between the two of them prior to that point. I haven't looked at this in a while, so maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, you make a valid point. I just think there are a number of ways that the issue could have come up in their relationship, and this is the one I chose.

I'm glad you liked the characterization and pacing of the story. I also appreciate your compliments on my writing style.

Thanks again for the kind review! :)

academica


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Review #15, by makemeover Victorious

2nd October 2011:
I loved this! I'm usually not a HUGE fan of Teddy/Victoire because they seem to get played out in the same exact way every single time, but this had a freshness to it. They have personalities similar to what we would imagine (and what most writers do give them) but it wasn't shoved down my throat, which I love. You didn't have to have a paragraph explaining how shy yet caring Victoire is or how romantic but frightened Teddy is, we were just able to gather that, which is great in a story. I like seeing the characters in action and acting on their actual traits instead of having to be told about them.

The imagery was great. I got goosebumps during the graveyard scene! I'm an obsessive Harry Potter fan and while I knew what had happened to both of them, I never put together how Teddy and Victoire both had fathers who were victims of a werewolf. I also loved that he wasn't afraid to cry in front of her.

The flow of this story was great. You wrote just the perfect amount for each age. I really like how you started out with them meeting on the train when she was 11. Most next gen stories don't go into detail about how they met, and I'm also guilty of just assuming they'd known each other since they were babies because of the closeness of all the families. I never took into consideration that they actually never met until Hogwarts which is beyond endearing for some reason.

I thought this was a very sweet one-shot and refreshing to read such a different Teddy/Victoire than the rest. Great job and I hope this was helpful!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for reviewing so quickly! :)

I'm so happy that you liked this even without being hugely into T/V, and I'm also pleased that you felt that I effectively "showed" rather than "told" about their characters. It's a serious pet peeve of mine when people just tell me everything and then "really" start the story, and I'm happy that you think so too!

I'm glad that you liked the graveyard scene, as it was the bunny that sparked this fic, and I'm pleased that you liked how I had their characters "meet". I thought little eleven-year-old Victoire was pretty adorable :)

Thanks again for such a kind review! I had kind of a rough, stressful day, and coming home to such a thoughtful review was really nice. I definitely appreciate your comments!

academica


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Review #16, by forsakenphoenix Victorious

1st October 2011:
Amanda! I'm not going to lie, I think this might be my favorite story that you've written so far. There's something quiet and beautiful in the way this story is told. I love how Victoire ages throughout the story - how you start each section with her age. I think it's a clever way to pass the time and allow us to see how her thoughts and actions mirror that maturity.

Our first introduction of Teddy is sweet. That smile that kind of freezes Victoire in her place - and it isn't just that first time either, but throughout their friendship and their relationship, it seems she is kind of taken aback whenever he smiles at her. It's precious.

I think the personality you've given Victoire in this - a studious, quiet Ravenclaw is something I haven't seen before. I feel like I've usually seen her portrayed as more outgoing and popular. But I like this characterization. I think she meshes very well with the Teddy that you've written. And their first kiss! I love first kisses. :)

I like how the next section fits in with what canon we do know. It's a definite change in Victoire's personality, to kiss him back - but I'm happy he brings that out in her. And oh my gosh, their 'I love you's' are so sweet! And that last name about feeling victorious - I loved that because of her name, obviously.

I think the next part is my absolute favorite. That Teddy thinks of his father's affliction as a sin and wondering if it will affect him. Then Victoire still standing by his side, still loyal to him, reminiscent of her mother when Bill was attacked by Greyback. Very nice touch.

When Teddy proposed and Victoire felt like a princess - I kind of squee'd a bit. I am always happy when a woman feels so loved and cherished and the way you've written the two of them, have me totally shipping this pair (but don't tell anyone else I said that...)

I love how Victoire sees them at the end, untainted and perfect. I know that was Teddy's biggest concern and Victoire has such a big heart and an unbending loyalty, that she makes the perfect match for him - to help soothe his worries and realize how loved he is.

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE STORY and like I said, it's definitely my favorite of yours so far. You're definitely doing a wonderful job experimenting with writing the fluff. Nicely done!

Author's Response: OhohOH! MISSY! This is so sweet :)

Oh, I'm so glad you liked it. I really am not sure where the idea to split the thing by age came from. It was one of those stories that just wouldn't stop when it started, like a dam broke in my head and poured the words out.

They are sweet, aren't they? I, too, agree that I usually see Victoire written as boisterous and outgoing and I wanted to do something different with her here. I wasn't sure if I saw a son of Remus being interested in a girl who was the life of every party (not that Tonks was quiet or anything, haha).

I tried to write a good mix of fluff and angst here. The graveyard scene was actually the bunny that launched the whole thing. I loved the commonality they had with werewolves and I wanted to construct a plot around that.

Oh, go ahead, ship them. I can no longer claim to hate Next-Gen either, I suppose ;)

Thank you so much for such a kind review!

Amanda


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Review #17, by Violet Gryfindor Victorious

29th September 2011:
Oh you are unfair! I don't like Teddy/Victoire normally, but this is so cute and touching that it tempts meto like that ship. You make them so perfect for each other, through thick and thin. I love how you make Victoire like her mother in that way, remaining furiously loyal and loving even when she learns that he is "marked" by lycanthropy. Even though Teddy isn't physically marked as Bill was, that parallel is still very meaningful and adds depth to your characterization of Victoire.

The structure of this is fantastic - so simple, but that's what makes it moving for me I can hear that child-like voice at the beginning change to the woman at the end - your language and imagery mature throughout this story, and that would be something too many authors would forget to take into account (I certainly would!).

There are a great many wonderful little details you included that I could also discuss, but I'll just say in conclusion that this one-shot was beautifully written - it's an album of snapshots of Victoire's life, artfully arranged - and it made me tear up to read. Fluff doesn't get me this way, so I don't know whether to thank you or not. I'll go with yes. ;) Excellent work!

Author's Response: Susan! :)

Oh, I'm so glad you liked it :) I am usually very annoyed by Next-Gen, seeing as it tends to be very cliche-filled, but I got a little bunny for the graveyard scene and just had to write this. I really wanted to draw in elements of the Bill/Fleur and Remus/Tonks werewolf conflict and I'm so glad that worked for you. I also wanted to change the typical characterization of Victoire that I've seen; here she is a little more careful and unsure, whereas typically I find her portrayed as vivacious and wild compared to her sister.

It is quite simple, and I'm happy to see that the effect came across well. I'm honestly not sure if I did the shifting maturity on purpose. I'd like to think I did, but regardless, I'm pleased that you were impressed by it :)

Oh, dear, my fluff made you tear up! Well, I'll take that as a compliment. I'm so, so happy that you liked it. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :)

Amanda


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