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3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by RavenclawWayToBe Shooting Star

16th February 2012:
This was very well written. Probably my only critique would be to make the seperations between the moments a bit more distinguished. I got it but for the first while i was confused when you changed days and things like that. This was written very well, i think you had the perfect amount of description and narration in there. You had a wonderful plotline and your story flowed well. I liked that you put the little poem/paragraph thing at the end of your story, it was definitely a great way to sum up the story. I loved that you used the aspect of the wish on the star that kept them together and that though she regrets it, she is strangely okay with it at the end (or at least that's what i thought) . This was very well written! Keep writing :)
-RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I'm editing it now because everyone seems to say that.
It was originally suppose to be a short story but the chapters were only like 400 words each so they wouldn't have passed as a chapter which is why the gaps are so jolty and hard to find.
Hopefully when I edit it it'll look better and be easier to read.
Thank you again!!
Jaz


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Review #2, by HermionelovesRon24 Shooting Star

28th December 2011:
This is a brilliant story!! I love all of your stories!! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks :D Yay for 10/10! It was orignally meant to be a short story but I don't know what happened :/ I think it was too short
x


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Review #3, by SeverusSnape15 Shooting Star

8th October 2011:
Hello there, Cierra here with your review. Thanks for entering my challenge, first off.

I think this story has very good potential, but I did find it VERY confusing. The time changes just jumped at the wrong times, in my opinion. I'd love to have seen it smoother, and less abrupt.

It captured the meaning of the poem PERFECTLY, though. I love the ending, it was sweet. I didn't feel any emotion at all, though, because we didn't get to know Alexzander and Katerina at all. Sure, she got left a few times, but it didn't bring much emotion because I couldn't get to know her very well.

So, those are just the things that I think could use some work on. But, I do think you captured the poem perfectly. Thank you for entering my challenge.

Author's Response: HI! I just think I should let you know that this story was originally a short story but i realised that it as short enough to be a one-shot so i made it that instead but thanks for reading anyhow and i'm glad i got the poem right :)

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