Okay...so this is actually DarkRose from the forums...and you're getting this review MONTHS late for your win in the One-Shot, Title, Ship, Rating Challenge. I can't believe that I forgot, but I'm going to make it up to you by doing this review now! :]
Okay! Well...I thought this was a brilliant one-shot. It was very well-written and incredibly impressive for the gravity of what you were taking on.
I don't read much slash, but this is probably one of the better ones I've seen. You wrote all the characters beautifully. I was especially impressed with Pansy. She seemed incredibly realistic and I love the twist that you took, making her just pretend to be stupid and really quite aware of the situation she's in.
I love the different dream sequences you worked with. I think they each enhanced the story in a different way and made it believable to readers. I think your descriptions of everything really brought the characters and story to life and I admit myself impressed.
The line, "I may be hard on the outside, but when it comes down to it, Iím just like her. Just a girl who wants someone who doesnít want her back." was absolutely brilliant. It really shook me. I think you did a terrific job summing up the story there. That could even be a summary! It's quite well-done. :]
So, great, great job! I loved it. I think you did wonderfully.
--Emily Report Review
I like how you've given a disliked character a voice and made her feel somewhat sympathetic. Your narrative in her voice is really good, and definitely has a personality that works well in the story. We don't know much about Pansy and what she's like, but I feel like you've kinda got her here (though it's not my concept of Pansy, it still works well for this story, which is what counts with minor characters). You've done a really good job with the conflicting emotions and confusion that Pansy is feeling. You handle Pansy's relationships with Draco and Hermione very well, and how her feelings are complicated. Good job.
Thanks for entering the Femslash Challenge!
-HoulestarAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! (incredibly delayed response!)
The challenge was fun because I've never done femslash before! And I love writing about characters that we don't know much about because there's so much more room to explore. I tried to stay as true to Pansy as possible while having her have this sort of...double life. I'm glad you enjoyed! Report Review
I really liked this story. I think you did a really good job of portraying Pansy and her relationship with Draco and her newfound feelings for Hermione. And Hermione may go on and marry Ron, but we don't know what Pansy will do. Will she end things with Draco? Will she continue falling for girls? And how will she handle it all? What'll happen when it comes out that she does like girls? There is so much that could happen. And this story is just the beginning of it. Overall, I think you did a really good job. Pansy/Hermione is strange couple, but I have seen it at least once before and I found it a very intriguing possibility.
Good luck in the challenge!
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Thanks so much! I definitely think Pansy/Hermione is a strange pairing but I was like hmmm, which two girls are totally unbelievable, and how could I try and make it at least slightly believable? Ha ha, but I'm glad you liked and and realized all the possibilities that could happen! I ended it where I did because I wanted there to be so many directions for Pansy's future to go in. Report Review
Wow that was really weird! Pansy and Hermione? Never thought of that one before! It was different and I liked it because of that! :) Report Review
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