WOW! I loved this story. It's one of my favorites now.
This is a wonderful and wonderfully delightful story. What a brilliant idea. And you wrote it so well.
Great job. Report Review
So cute!!! I loved reading this! I agree with the other reviewers who expressed interest in seeing more goings-on with Amatis and Cariad in future stories. There might not be enough mishaps to write about for all the other couples in individual one-shots, but maybe you can do a one-shot on all the others combined. Poor Ron & Hermione having enough to warrant their own story! :-)
I loved how you put little hints throughout the story about what was going on in each scene. I had to really think back about those seven bottles of potion in the 1st year, especially since this was never mentioned in the movie, which I've seen more often than the number of times I read the book I'm afraid to admit. But it brought back good memories of all the little secrets the books contained that only us "readers" would know about. :-) Putting Luna into the story and having her interact with the cupids was spot on as well. I could tell you were talking about her after the first couple of sentences. I also think that's fine that she was outside the room as the DA meeting wrapped up - nothing wrong with that.
I loved how they finally got into the Room of Requirement too. Like so many before them, they really didn't know how to get in, they just paced back & forth wishing and pleading for it, and that was the trick!
Well done! I can't wait to read more of your wonderful works! Report Review
This is such a cute story! I never would have thought of cupids. Report Review
This was adorable. :) And so wonderfully original! I mean, I never imagined a Ron/Hermione story could be written this way. And that's what endeared most to me in this story. Your narrative style, is very..erm..(I don't know how to say it) different ? What I mean is, it comes off very strongly as a /style/. I mean, if I read anything else written by you, I would most probably recognise that you wrote it. Gah..I must sound silly...but I think that's how much I must love your brilliant writing style :P
Reading this story was refreshing to say the least; if I thought being recapped the entire relationship of Ron and Hermione would be redundant, I was wrong; your fresh take made me absolutely hooked. :)
The ending made me go 'awww', even though I knew what was coming :P All in all, I really enjoyed this one-shot! I was wondering if you could write more? The characters of Cariad and Amatis are very intriguing, and I really loved the way you fleshed out their friendship. :) So, yeah, I'd love to read about more couples from their point of view :P
But it was a fantastic one-shot in itself and I'm glad I read it :D (and sad that I don't have any constructive criticism to offer :P)
~vanya Report Review
Wow this was so awesome! Really creative and original, and being the Romione shipper I am, I simply loved it. :)Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, I'm so pleased you enjoyed the story. Report Review
I love how this story basically sums up the relationship of Ron and Hermione over their time at Hogwarts. Great job, and congrats on second place! You totally deserved it. 10/10Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, I'm so pleased you enjoyed the story. Report Review
I'm not a huge fan of Trio era stories. I often times feel like we have gotten enough of the story from canon that I find fanfiction to simply be a retelling of events that we have already read. That being said, I really enjoyed this story. Mostly because we can see the blossoming relationship of Ron/Hermione from an onlooker's POV, one who has invested an interest in their relationship from the start.
Your narrative of Ron and Hermione's seven years of missed chances is wonderful. I think my only complaint is that I wished there was a bit more detail. I know that it would make the story even longer than it was, but sometimes I felt like you just skimmed over scenes and I would have enjoyed a bit more of it. Or maybe that's just me wishing there was more Amatis and Cariad. :) They were fantastic together. They have a natural friendship and I love that they make these challenges every year. It warms my heart, though, that Amatis felt deeply connected to Ron and Hermione to see them through until the end. I enjoyed Cariad's attempts at thwarting Amatis, but I'm happy that she realized they belonged to each other and stayed out of the way at the end.
There were a few grammatical errors that I noticed, but nothing that was too obvious to detract from my enjoyment. Another read-through might help clear some of that up. I should mention that at one point you referred to Amatis as a 'her', so that confused me a bit. "when Amatis found her friend sitting with an unconscious Ron" Just so you know.
You have a really wonderful, unique story and I'm glad I got the chance to read it. I would like to read more of Amatis and Cariad, should you ever decide to expand upon this story or do an off-shoot. :)Author's Response: Hi, Santa!
I'm so pleased you enjoyed Hearts and Arrows. I wrote it incredibly quickly one weekend, one of those times when the story just seems to flood out of your fingertips, and I've always been proud of it.
Amatis and Cariad are such a lot of fun to write. I will absolutely be revisiting them at some point. They have a very different POV on life in the castle, which I find interesting. Plus - as a fluff and romance addict, I love the opportunity it gives me to indulge my pink side!
Thanks so much for all your reviews, it really has made my Christmas! Report Review
I don't believe in Cupid or 'greater forces' in any form of any part of life. But I have left that aside while I read this and I found this really adorable and endearing.
Ron/Hermione has been done to death. But never like this. Your idea is original and fresh and that is why I really like this. You have taken a story that we all know inside out and turned it into something new. That's really clever. And I loved how you had us look at their relationship from an onlooker's point of view. It was a different way of viewing it but, again, a refreshing one and you did really well.
I think you had both Ron and Hermione's characterisation spot on which is interesting since you had them both from another person's POV. But you did well with both of them. You also did well with Amatis and Cariad. I found some of their interactions funny but always heartfelt and I really loved the way they interacted with each other throughout the story.
Your flow was well done and pace was good, however I think you did try to pack a lot into this. I don't think that you should try and break it up into a few chapters because it works brilliantly as a one-shot, but you could perhaps try and expand on it a little bit more? I know it's hard, particularly given from whose POV you are writing, but there is room for expansion and I think that would round this off perfectly.
This is really well done despite that, though. It's new, it's interesting and just fluffy enough to make my heart melt. You did well!
I don't know what else to say! I normally can go on for ages in a review but this was just really lovely and I can't think of anything else to compliment you on other to say that this is just a really sweet story that I am definitely going to re-read every now and then. It's exactly the type of story that you would want to read after having a bad day or while you're stressed and I really did love reading it.
Joop.Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for your lovely review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for suspending your disbelief - although I guess we need to do that for pretty much everything in the Potterverse:-)
I love Ron and Hermione, and I was so pleased to draw their kiss for the 're-write a scene challenge'. Thinking of a new way to do it was very difficult, and it's great to know I came up with something fresh and original.
I'm very proud of Amatis and Cariad. They were lots of fun to write, and I'm glad the dynamic between them works. I'm pleased that you think there is enough here to expand, and I think that the way I will do this is possibly to revisit them as characters in the future. I can see them having a pretty tough time with Cho, and also maybe Ginny.
It's lovely to know you might come back and read again.
Thanks once more for taking the time to provide such a thorough and helpful review!
Hi! I'm here for the BvB review battle (Go team Blue!). Firstly, I adore your idea. It's a really lovely one!! I'm the most valiant Romione shipper around so I love this story, it's so adorable, and I love the way you present it, with all the key moments in their relationship. It's a really sweet story.
Two things that I think you could perhaps improve on a bit would be the individuality of your technique, and the format of your story. Firstly, I love this story, and the idea is so wonderfully unique, but I think that you could make the way you write a bit more original. Maybe include some good descriptions occasionally, and think about similie and metaphor etc. That would just add another dimension to the story and make it perfect!
The second thing, which isn't so much to do with faults in your writing, because I love it, but more to do with how you could have layed this out a little better. As I said before, I adore your ideas and the way you've written this, but I think that cramming it all into a one-shot took away some of it's potential. I think that you could make this truly amazing by simply extending it, providing a more continuous, flowing narrative and more details and humour. I think that you could prevent the story seeming to jump around a bit and make it all come together perfectly by dividing it into five or six chapters and including some more scenes and perhaps some snapshots of the cupids other cases. Cho and Cedric perhaps? Or Harry and Ginny?
Otherwise, I love this story and I think you've done an absolutely fantastic job, well done!Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad you enjoyed my story. I had a lot of fun writing it.
I'm so pleased you think there is enough material here to warrant a longer story. I think I'm happy with this as a one shot, but I am very attached to Amatis and Cariad, and I like the idea of maybe building them out in other short stories. I would love to write them again. That's certainly something for me to think about! Report Review
So this was possibly the most adorably wonderful thing I've read in a while. I don't really even know exactly how to articulate how much I enjoyed it. The idea actually makes perfect sense! A place as magical as Hogwarts, teaming with teenage hormones, there could very well be Cupids flying around!
I think my favorite bits were when Cariad tried to get Hermione to have a crush on Harry (I laughed at that a lot) and the Lavender part (poor poor LavLav, it wasn't even her fault in the end). You did a great job of following this through the books and keeping me interested with the little details even though I already knew the story.
Great job with a really cute and inventive idea!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Aw - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm very proud of this little story, it seemed to work out really well.
Thanks so much for the lovely feedback, it means a lot to me to know that people are enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Report Review
Hi! magnolia_magic here with your requested review! :)
I really enjoyed reading this one-shot. It was so fun and adorable, and I liked seeing Ron and Hermione's romance in a new, creative way.
I think the strongest point of this story is your writing style. You have a great narrative voice...it's very light and funny, and it works well with the story you're telling. I also love the dialogue between Amatis and Cariad. Their banter never seemed forced, and it always felt real to me. So basically, I thought it was extremely well-written :)
I also really liked your characterization of Amatis, and the way he develops throughout the story. His growing affection for the couple was one of my favorite elements of this story--he started taking Ron and Hermione under his wing, not because he had something to gain, but because it was the right thing to do. I also loved that Cariad teamed up with Amatis at the end. Very adorable and heartwarming :)
Another nice touch I noticed: I thought it was fitting that Luna was the only student who could see the cupids. That seems very true to her character.
I think this is an adorable story that will make people smile when they read it. It's very well-written, has great flow, and shows a lighthearted side to Ron and Hermione's story. If that's what you set out to accomplish, then you definitely nailed it! I loved reading this, and thanks so much for requesting!
--MaggieAuthor's Response: Hi, Maggie - thanks so much for the lovely review. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it so much.
I had great fun writing it, and I became really fond of Amatis and Cariad. They mean well, even if they don't always quite get it right!
Thanks again for offering your reviewing services, and taking the time to be so thoughtful and helpful. Report Review
Hey there! LionsRule here from the forums with your requested review! ^_^
The first thing I noticed was that this story was very original. I’ve never seen a take on a Ron/Hermione like this, so I thought it was excellent that you added your own twist on the story. I know you were supposed to rewrite the scene, but you really though outside-of-the-box with Amatis and Cariad picking the couples. So good job with your originality! :D
I also loved the characters you created. Amatis and Cariad are absolutely hilarious, and their funny banter really made me want to keep reading. I also loved how you added them into scenes from the books. Adding an extra twist onto some of my favorite HP scenes really made the story very original while also familiar at the same time.
I would also like to compliment you on your sentence flow, word choice, grammar, and punctuation. Your story flowed really well, and that made it even nicer to read. You picked really good words and the dialogue was seamless. Your story was virtually free of any technical errors.
Your story is so original, and what I love is that it might of actually happened. You stuck to the book very well, and you added the cupids into the perfect scenes. I honestly couldn’t find ANYTHING to critique on. So congrats on such an excellent story!
I would recommend getting a banner for your story, though. It will definitely help draw in more readers and get more attention for this awesome story. You can go make an account over at the-dark-arts and request a banner; they’re always excellent in making story graphics.
Bravo! Feel free to request another review for any other stories you might want reviewed. I will definitely be adding this story to my favorites and I would love to see more of your work in the future. ^_^
-JacquelineAuthor's Response: Aw - thanks so much! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It's always great to get good feedback, and this really did make my day. I'm very proud of this story, and it's nice to know I did a good job.
Thanks for the idea about the banner, I hadn't really thought about it before. I shall check out TDA and see what I can do
Sophie x Report Review
Here comes the review!!!
Honestly, I don't normally read Ron/Hermione because they either 1) to cliche - i have a thing against cliche stories - and 2) they are really typical.
Your story on the other hand has a breath of fresh air because it wasn't told from a canon characters POV but from a OC character. I really enjoyed this story and it has kind of made me start to ship Ronmione again... *nervous laugh*
The characterisation of Ron & Hermione were really good even though they were told from an onlookers POV.
The pace of the story was really good. You made it really obvious when a new year had started - other than having the subtitle 'the next year' or something and the progression of the characters coming-of-age (in a way) and falling in love was really well paced as well :)
Overall, really good story :) 8/10
*JazAuthor's Response: Hello! Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you set up the topic:-)
I'm so glad you enjoyed my story, and didn't find it too cliche. It was lots of fun to write. I'm also really pleased that it's made you think again about Ron and Hermione. I absolutely love them:-) Report Review
It's me from the forums with your review! So Ron/ Hermione may not be underappreciated, but its my favorite ship and I love how you portrayed it here. This story was absolutely adorable.
I really enjoyed the way you seemlessly integrated the cupids into the familiar scenes from the books, giving us a whole new perspective on them. Putting it in this perspective really shows us just how challenging it was for Ron and Hermione, and how satisfying it was when they finally got togteher.
Great job!Author's Response: Hello! What a happy coincidence that you love Ron and Hermione!
Thanks so much for the lovely review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story - it was so much fun writing it, and imagining what Amatis and Cariad might have been watching. Plus, it was a great excuse to read some of my favourite bits from the books again!
Thanks again - Sophie x Report Review
Cally recommended this to me and I am so glad I came to take a look. It is brilliant, although previous reviewers may have already said so. For one, you managed to make the bunch of cupids totally believable. The plot was great, we managed to watch them grow through the years along with a little behind the scenes work.
I didn't find anything wrong with spelling and grammar since I was too lost in the story to look for it. :P There are a few unnecessary gaps though or a space before the beginning of a paragraph, but that can happen a lot with some site bugs. :P
Your characterisation was mostly perfect and true to canon. I loved every bit of it. I especially like the scene with Luna, that was brilliant how she talked to Amatis. It was like I found out something new and was surprised at the behind the scenes work there.
I also liked the beginning part where they played rock-paper-scissors to see who does what, for a minute there I thought they were talking about something more serious. :D I joined this challenge a few days back and now I'm worried I may not be able to top it. :P
My only problem I guess would be I would've wanted to see more on how they tried to mend Lavender's poor broken heart, hahah. The way you explained how she fell for Ron was brilliant too, it's as though everything makes sense now. :D Also, I find it odd how Ametis talked to Luna about Ron and Hermione being in the Room of Requirement since if I'm not mistaken, they were there in the first place for the secret DADA classes and thus, Luna should've been with them.
Again, it was a good read and I really enjoyed. Not too short, not too long, just the exact good size. Great job!
~ SevvyAuthor's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for reviewing Hearts and Arrows! I'm really proud of it, and it's so nice that it's getting some love:-)
I'm very fond of Amatis and Cariad, and I'm glad you liked them too. Who knows, perhaps they will pop up again some time!
I know what you mean about me leaving Lavender hanging. I did think about including it, but in the end I decided not to, because the my scene for the challenge was Ron and Hermione's kiss, so I felt like too much focus on Lavender would have pushed me too far away from that - I was already taking a quite a step away from the challenge subject by including so many other scenes:-)
Re: Ron and Hermione being in the Room while Luna isn't. Your correct that they are at a DADA meeting. I struggled with that myself for a while, but if you read that section again, you'll see that Luna says that she has 'just come from' the room. I was trying to suggest that the meeting is breaking up, Luna has already left, but Ron and Hermione are still there. Perhaps I need to labour that point a bit more, and I'll have a think about that for the next round of edits.
Anyway, once again, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! Report Review
Hey, I just found this through the challenges and I wanted to tell you how much I absolutely loved it! It was entertaining, I felt the emotions and it was something new and interesting and short enough to read in one go. Absolutely brilliant! :)Author's Response: Hi, Cal!
Thanks so much for not only reading, but also taking the time to review and recommend. It means a lot because I'm quite proud of this story and it's so nice to know others are enjoying it too.
Sophie x Report Review
Hi! Thank you so much for entering my challenge, it means a lot!
I really loved this, the little love cupids of Hogwarts! Ronmione is my favourite HP pairing, and I thought it would be hard to top the kiss, but this was brilliant! I especially liked how we journeyed through their years together, their ups and their downs. It was brilliant, so well planned out, lovely plot, I can't believe who sweet. I didn't spot any spelling or grammar errors, so that was great!
Once again, thank you so much for entering, I love you for doing it! Love Livvy x :)Author's Response: Really glad you liked it. I know it's pretty fluffy but it was great fun to write and I'm actually pretty proud of it.
Who knows - Amatis and Cariad might make cameo appearances in some of my other stuff in future!
Thanks for setting the challenge, as I never would have thought of it otherwise. Report Review
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