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Reading Reviews for A Forgotten Savior
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dojh167 Forget Me. Pretend I never existed.

24th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

Ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch.

This was already a really hard moment, just hearing about what Hermione did in the books secondhand, but now you go and make it even harder. My poor heart. Of course, I always knew that there was a risk in what Hermione did and that she may not be able to properly remedy it, and she knew that too.

It was really disorienting to go from the dialogue in the past between Hermione and her mother to the present between Hermione and Ron, but thatís not necessarily a bad thing - it is disorienting for Hermione, and youíve recreated that same sense in the reader.

I really like that the memories Hermione focuses on here are so domestic or simple. Nothing big happening, just getting dinner ready. That is really evocative, since it contrasts so heavily with the action filled life she gave them up for and now regrets.

Iím confused about Hermione saying she hugged her grandparents and then obliviated them. I had thought she had only done this to her parents - I hadnít considered that she had to obliviate her extended family as well.

I really really like how rapidly you mix past with present here. At first it was confusing, but like I said, it works really well to make the reader feel like Hermione does.

And somehow you manage to add extra sads in something so simple as Ron falling asleep.

At least you end on a somewhat positive note, with Hermione making up her mind to find her parents. Has she tried before? I had assumed that she had found them but had been unable to reverse her spell, but the fact that they moved somewhere else of their own initiative also is possible. I am curious which (or both) it is and if Hermione is able to integrate them back into her life.

This is truly heartbreaking and very good.

Sam.

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Review #2, by Ron 4 Hermione Forget Me. Pretend I never existed.

24th April 2017:
Hey there, here for CTF!

Well how could I not read a Ron/Hermione :p

Aw, this is always the saddest thing to read. I canít imagine how Hermione must have coped knowing that her parents didnít even remember her. Or how hard it was to do that.

I love how youíve incorporated her being with Ron and her getting rid of her parentís memory, I think it works really well. I love how you can clearly see Ron cares for her, even at this point. I love the little glimpse into the word of Hermioneís parents and what they think of her daughter because we donít see them very often in the books, especially not with Hermione.

Oh, well thatís cute. I wasnít sure if this was set before they left to go look for horcruxes but I guess now itís not lol. Itís a cute moment between Ron and Hermione, and I suppose after the war it makes sense that heíd be the first person to tell. Iím trying to figure out how they get there sleeping arrangement past Molly though aha, although maybe she would have been okay with it, I suppose they are adults and after everything theyíve been through they probably need each other.

This was a really well written I love how you portray those two,especially Hermione! Great job.

Shaza :)

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Review #3, by Pretense Of Perfection Forget Me. Pretend I never existed.

9th July 2014:
This really made me sad. You did a wonderful job keeping Hermione in character, and I imagine this could technically even be possible, considering I don't think we ever found out what happened with Hermione and her parents. I imagine it could've gone either way, but this was a very unique perspective. Hermione would definitely have dreams about her family, and her nostalgia and pain is tangible. I can see Ron being very supportive throughout the whole process, even though he typically doesn't know what to say. I really like that you ended this on a happier note, what with her deciding to go and find her family and have them remember. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, so great job there! I think the pace was perfect and moved along quite nicely. The plot was definitely something I haven't read before, and was very enjoyable. My only real suggestion would be to change the formatting a bit, as I didn't know until halfway through some of the flashbacks that they were flashbacks, and not actually happening in the now of the story.

--house cup 2014 review--
pretense of perfection, gryffindor

Author's Response: Thanks for another wonderful review! After writing this I wrote a few for Hermione at major points in her life when she wishes her parents were there and hope to eventually expand on this to further encompass some of those points. I'm glad that you enjoyed and while it's not my typical writing style it was fun to write (And it's my first story I wrote where no one died! So that's exciting for me)

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Review #4, by CambAngst Forget Me. Pretend I never existed.

11th March 2013:
Hi, there! Making a stop on your author's page for the Review Battle!

For some reason, I had never considered the possibility that Hermione might have waited for many years to go find her parents after the war. To me, it seemed like something she would have done straight away if she was ever going to do it. But the way that you built her up in this piece, the incredible guilt that she carried for the act of erasing herself from their lives, made it make sense. She understands the reasons why she did it, but that only seems to assuage half of her guilty conscience.

I loved the way that you set the scene for the piece and showed the various reasons why this hurts her so much. The comment about their grandchildren -- who I assume are Rose and Hugo -- makes it sting even a bit more. If she's able to bring them back, I can't imagine how difficult it's going to be to help them recover what they've lost.

You have a real knack for writing Hermione. This really sounded like her, with all of the preparation and planning that went into sending her parents away her precise memories of doing what she felt like she had to do.

I thought your writing was excellent in this. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems and everything flowed really nicely. Well done!

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you like this piece. I reworked it so many times to try to get it read right. I am really happy with where it ended up. I approached this piece as though, she had tried in the past to get them back but for some reason she couldn't reverse the spell. I'm not sure that comes through very clear though. I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for the review!

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Review #5, by TyrannicFeenix Forget Me. Pretend I never existed.

21st January 2013:
Quite an improvement over the original text (though I did enjoy it that way too :P) So I'll try to give you a comparative review rather than a fresh perspective.

I liked the new perspective of the story, Hermione looking back on it, it seems more fluid than before. It feels smoother too. It felt a little juddery originally but it runs better now.

Don't like that she's with Ron. I don't care if it's canon, I just don't buy it :P

I like the emotion Hermione goes through, and you can clearly feel the pain in her actions. She has to make the choice between what is right, and what is easy.

I think my favourite part though is the ending line, I want to find them. So good, I almost can't believe she left them there so long before going back, but it adds so much depth to the overall story.

I think its a very good change from the original and I know at least one person who prefers it this way. A very good job, Kalkay.

~TyrannicFeenix~

Author's Response: I'm sorry that you don't like the canon but I'm fairly stern when it comes to that and I don't see her with Harry. Sorry bud.

I really like this change and am happy with it. I wanted to set it in the future because I wanted to have her look back on it with a different sense than she would've directly after the war. I think that she would've found them much sooner than this though.

Thank you for reviewing the changes! I'm glad that you enjoyed it (mostly).


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Review #6, by TyrannicFeenix Forget Me. Pretend I never existed.

17th August 2012:
Quite an interesting tale you weave there young miss. Full of intrigue and suspense. But also a good look at a scared little girls (possible) last moments with her parents. Also knowing that should she never return, it was she who deprived them of their little girl, not whoever pulled the trigger.

I quite liked it, the first time I read it (a few days back, sorry can't not review it now) and it was still a delightful read the second time through.

Two minor mistakes I noticed:
I whipped away the stray tear" sounds like it should be wiped to me, though maybe I'm wrong there
"getting everything ready for dinner" not read
"as my parents met my eyes" rather than meet

Overall, not as disastrous as you seem to want to make it out to be. I think it is quite good. Now off to the tea then the other chapters before you rise.

TyrannicFeenix

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed it and took your time to review.

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Review #7, by xxFlutterStutterBOOMBOOMxx Forget Me. Pretend I never existed.

1st October 2011:
This was such a perfect use of the phrase! Excellent job! Thanks for your participation, sorry this took awhile, but the winners will be posted in the Hall of Fame soon.

Author's Response: Can't wait! I'm glad you enjoyed it, this was a fun challenge. I just wish I would've found it sooner. :)

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