32 Reviews Found

Review #1, by greenbubble A Portrait Existence

4th July 2014:
I really like this! I've never read anything based around one of the portraits which is why I chose this one of your stories to read. It was an enjoyable read and very well written.

Isn't it weird realising that some of the portraits actually lived as a solid, real person? I think so. I liked how you told us that he used to like thrills and adventures because it makes you realise how bored he must be living in his portrait.

Your speech was very well written out and there were no grammatical errors that I could spot. I like a good, realistic bit of dialogue.

Whenever Dumbledore is in a bad mood, you know that something is wrong. I makes me feel worried when Dumbledore is angry because something bad must be going on. I love how you have described Dumbledore as speaking 'coldly' because it suited the text very well. Good word choice is one of your strengths in my opinion.

Phineas is not a very likeable character in this one shot. I do not like the way he is outspoken infront of Dumbledore. He is the Headmaster! Phineas should listen to Dumbledore. He does, as Dilys Derwent says, shy away from his responsiblilities. Hmmm ... I don't know why Dumbledore picked him.

I like how being a portrait is described as being imprisoned too. It's as I said earlier, good word choice and it makes you think how bad it must be to live as a portrait and you almost feel sorry for Phineas like Sirius. I'm glad that I'm not a portrait.

Overall, I loved this little one - shot! It was great!

- Emma

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Review #2, by Lady of Tears A Portrait Existence

19th August 2013:
Very brilliant! I thought this was unique and interesting. Your characterization was spot on; I really thought I was reading something straight from the books.

I really wanted this to be longer; my greatest critique is that I felt it was cut short just as we were getting to a lot of good reflection on Phineas' part. I thought you really could have delved deeper into a comparison between Sirius and Phineas, and put a little bit more into what the elder thought about the wild young Black in his family line.

But outside of that, I thought this was spot on! I'm glad I found it.

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked this. I am sorry this was too short for you though, I just don't like to go too deep in one-shots, and honestly I don't think I could have written further. But thanks a ton for your comments. They mean a lot to me.


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Review #3, by marauder5 A Portrait Existence

26th June 2013:
Hi! I'm here for the review tag.

I must say, I think that you have captured Phineas' character perfectly in this! He's such an interesting and amusing character, and I think you've portrayed that absolutely perfectly! I enjoyed reading how the other portraits were shocked at his disrespect for Dumbledore! Even though I agree with them a little bit, I'm glad that Phineas had at least one friend. :)

Also, you've included something else in this, which is the tragedy of being half-alive. I think that it's something that many ghosts would experience and the reason that most witches and wizards choose to move on after their death instead. While this Phineas isn't the actual Phineas Black, merely a portrait of the living man, it might not be exactly the same, but still. Imagine having to watch people live, day after day, and be stuck in that half-alive state forever. It was an interesting aspect that I really, really liked about this chapter. Also, comparing it to Sirius' situation was perect, and without doubt the perfect ending to a very good one-shot.

The only criticism I have is about the spacing between your paragraphs - sometimes you skip one line, sometimes three. When you skip three lines, I automatically think that you're jumping forwards in time etc., so that was a little confusing. But it's a very minor thing that can be easily fixed. Over all, this was very good! :)

Author's Response: hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked Phineas' character, along with the other portraits'. Yes, he should have at least one person to turn to, shouldn't he? xP

Indeed, I always wondered what it would feel to be 'half alive' - like the ghosts and portraits and that became my source for much of the writing in this story. I am glad you found it interesting, and also that you liked the ending.

Ah, when I post the chapters sometimes the spacing gets messy for some unknown reason =/ I'll go back to it when I can and edit it though. Thanks for the tip!

Thank you.


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Review #4, by Lululuna A Portrait Existence

12th June 2013:
Hello, review tag! :)

This is very different from your work I've read, but I really enjoyed it! I've never seen Phineas Nigellus in a story before, especially not in his portrait form. He's such a hilarious and interesting character, and I think you captured his snarky and self-important essence very nicely. The formal tone matched the way the old-fashioned Headmaster would probably speak and think, so the form and style complemented the story very well.

I like the short time frame of the story, and how you managed to say a lot in a short one-shot. The brevity of the story mirrors in a way the constraints and limits of Phineas' life as a portrait. I enjoyed listening to his complaining, and it actually made sense considering what kind of a person he was.

I also enjoyed the backstories of Phineas' acquaintances! Peeves as his former assistant? Too funny! I never would have predicted that, but it made sense in a strange way that Phineas' incessant demands would have driven poor Peeves wonky. The relationships he has with the other headmaster portraits, like his tentative friendship with Edgy, was very detailed and created a full picture of his existence - so to speak. :P

Anyway, good job with this, as you can tell I really enjoyed it! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing again =)

I am glad you enjoyed this, it is something different from what I usually write as well! I am pleased that you think I captured Phineas' personality well, and you liked the form and style of the story over all.

Yeah I think if it had been longer it would have become slightly boring so I tried to do as much as I could in these few words. Ah I like the comparison you've made between the brevity of the story and Phineas' life. Glad it all made sense!

Haha I decided on the Peeves thing as a whim so happy to know you enjoyed it. And it is quite fun to think that Peeves became wonky thanks to Phineas' ordering around. I am also glad you liked the relationships I showed between others.

Thanks a ton!


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Review #5, by marauderfan A Portrait Existence

30th May 2013:
Hello! Here for review tag.

This is such a neat and original idea for a story. I really liked that it was told from a portrait's POV. I'd never really considered what portraits thought of their existence, so this was a nice insight.

I loved the scene with him bickering with Dilys Derwent. Interesting back story on Peeves too - it's hard to imagine him being a "faithful assistant" who did Phineas Nigellus Black's bidding, after knowing what he is now, haha. And I really liked the comparison of Phineas' imprisonment in a portrait to Sirius being trapped inside Grimmauld Place. That was really well done.

The only thing that seemed a bit off was Dumbledore - a bit too forceful/irritable at Phineas (unless you intended it that way because maybe Dumbledore just gets tired of Phineas's attitude all the time, haha). But I know it's SO difficult to write Dumbledore! Anyway, that was really just a small thing - other than that I thought it was great. Excellent job on this :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Sorry for the delay in responding.

I am glad you liked the idea and the POV of this. I had never considered it before the challenge either!

I am pleased you liked the bickering scene. The backstory of Peeves was something I included on a whim so I am glad you enjoyed it. The imprisonment comparison was one of the main themes of the story so I am pleased you liked it.

Ah, I am not too good when it comes to writing Dumbledore. He is a very tricky character to write but I'll try to polish his bit when I edit. Thanks for the tip off.

Thank you!


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Review #6, by AlexFan A Portrait Existence

7th May 2013:
I seem to be working my way through your written works slowly but I'm getting there (this is the sixth story I've reviewed, nine more to go).

I've never read a story that was told from the point of view of a portrait (I once read one that was told from the point of view of a wall) so this was definitely something new for me.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it, I love how you portrayed Phineas, I found him a fellow sort of character despite the fact that he sounded an awful lot like Percy.

I love how sassy Madame Derwent was, she was probably my favourite person in this one-shot. Anyway, I enjoyed this so good job on it!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Haha take your time through my stories ;)

A story from the POV of a wall? Sounds interesting haha. I am glad you found this something new though.

I am pleased you enjoyed it and liked my portrayal of Phineas. He was very pompous yeah haha.

I liked writing Madame Derwent too so its good to know you liked her. Thanks a lot!


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Review #7, by fauxthefox A Portrait Existence

4th March 2013:
I've always wanted to read about a portrait! :D

Phineas seems very Phineas, which I appreciate. He's snarky and lazy as he is in the novels, but you've also given a good sense of the psychology behind the sass, if you will. :) It's interesting that he mirrors Sirius in that they're both trapped/restless.

I think Dumbledore must be a difficult character to write (I'm too scared to try). His dialogue in this chapter seems almost a bit too proper. I suggest this to literally everyone I leave a review for and it might be getting old - but I think it really helps if you read your characters' lines aloud. That way you can actually hear each line and detect any awkward/unnatural phrasing.

So original! I love it.
10/10
Faux

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked Phineas' characterisation and liked the analogy with Sirius.

Yes, Dumbledore is way too difficut to write and I was really wary of writing the few dialogues I did, so I'll try to make his lines fit in better with canon. Thanks for the tip, and the review, and the 10/10!


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Review #8, by Celtic_Dreamer7 A Portrait Existence

3rd March 2013:
Awww. . . that was cute!! I, too, wrote a portrait piece for MyMyMiss' challenge and haven't had the opportunity until now to read any of the other submissions.

I found this to be a great insight to several characters from the stories. Back story of Peeves and a look at Sirius, that was a great touch. It really draws the reader in, making it even more believable to be part of the real books. I didn't see any misspellings or grammatical errors. Forgive me for not knowing, but were those actual names of former Headmasters? If not, they certainly sounded like it. My only recommendation/c.c., I would have loved to read more of the actual journey from one portrait to another is like. Is it a like a dark tunnel or hallway or something entirely different? I know we will never know for sure, but its nice to hear what other people think as well. Great job.

~Celtic~

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I won't exactly call it cute, but haha thanks!

I am pleased you liked the backstory of Peeves and a glimpse into Sirius. I was a little worried whether it was believable or not but this eased my worries. Yes, these were all actual names of Headmasters - according to the Harry Potter wiki at least =) I wanted to include the actual journey too, but honestly speaking, I'd no idea what it'd be like. However, if one day I suddenly get the creative idea of how the journey is, I'll definitely come back and edit it in. Thank you for your kind words once again!


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Review #9, by HollyStone73 A Portrait Existence

24th February 2013:
I think this was incredibly clever! I definitely enjoyed reading this!! :) I especially loved how Peeves was incorporated into it! Great job!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you enjoyed this and liked the Peeves aspect. Thank you.

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Review #10, by patronus_charm A Portrait Existence

11th February 2013:
Tag!

I always rather enjoyed it when Phineas Black made an appearance in the stories, as I liked his cynical humour, and reluctance to help, as though he was a Black he seemed to be a nicer one of the family.

I think you captured his personality really well, which is a rather hard thing to do considering he's a painting, and I thought it was really cool and unique that you decided to write about him, as I've never come across a story about him before.

I really liked his cynical thoughts, as they were rather funny, as they were so cynical, and it was nice to compare his current life, to the one that he had at Hogwarts.

For some CC's, I felt that the paragraph size was odd, this may just be me going OCD, but I like uniform paragraph sizes, but these varies greatly in size. And another point on the paragraphs the gaps between them differed as well.

Sorry for me going OCD, it can't be helped! I thought it was a great one-shot though and I really loved the cynical humour!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.

I enjoyed Phineas' appearance in the books too, and so I decided to give him some more show time in my own story!

His personality was indeed very difficult to capture and I am not sure if I got it right enough, but I am pleased you found him well-written. I give the credit for the idea to MyMyMiss (or karni) =)

I wanted to show a parallel between his current 'life' as a painting and his before, so I am glad you liked that too.

Oh, thanks for pointing that out. My formatting seems to get messed up a lot on here, I'll try putting the paragraphs and spacing right.

Thanks again!


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Review #11, by 800 words of heaven A Portrait Existence

14th January 2013:
Hola from the review tag!

I've never read a story about Phineas Nigellus Black before, simply because he annoyed me to no end in the book. However, I think you have done a commendable job here!

I really loved the way you described him! His personality became evident in degrees, starting out just like I remember him and becoming something far more complicated and interesting. Whilst it hasn't convinced me to like the character, I think you've achieved something far greater here, by making me think harder and more critically about him - not just what he did, but how he did it, and why.

By weaving such a personality for Phineas, I think the Black Family link with Sirius was very well done. We all know Sirius didn't enjoy being stuck, but the way you described his "incarceration" through the thoughts of Phineas, really highlighted to me that Sirius was running away from a part of himself all his life, and that was part of the reason why he was so miserable, stuck as he was.

Peeves' story was just inspired, in my opinion, and raised interesting and complex questions about what one was and what one wanted to be, and how, when given the chance, they achieved their perceived goals.

Overall, a wonderful story!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Haha, I always found Phineas to be amusing rather than annoying so took up a chance to write him!

I am glad you liked how I described him, my main aim wasnt for you to like him, it was just to give you an insight into him, so I am glad I achieved that in a way.

I always ponder over Sirius' "incarceration" in OoTP so I liked to link it here, and glad you liked it :)

Wow, that was very well said! I added Peeves' story on a whim so good to know it gave you something to think about.

Thanks!


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Review #12, by slytherinchica08 A Portrait Existence

3rd January 2013:
A very interesting and fun concept! I loved seeing a story told from a portraits pov that really adds to your story and makes it original! I also love how you continued to keep his characterization even though he is a protrait and only a shadow of himself, he was still very much himself and that was just wonderful. The plot line was great as well. Him being bored of being a portrait but then realizing that he really doesn't have it so bad after all in the end. I felt the flow of the story was rather nice as well! Altogether, I really enjoyed this oneshot! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I am glad you liked this concept, I found it to be something particularly difficult to write. Thanks for all your reflective comments!


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Review #13, by GingeredTea A Portrait Existence

2nd January 2013:
I thought it was a very good mixture of humor and sadness. I wish there wasn't so much space between paragraphs...but that's just one of my things and has nothing to do with the story. For such an obscure character (and writing about him only as a portrait) I think you did a good job of making his character seem realistically 2D (hehe).

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I am glad you liked this. Haha xD

I'll see what I can do about the spacing! Thanks!


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Review #14, by CambAngst A Portrait Existence

28th November 2012:
Tagging you from the Review Tag thread.

I have to admit, I never stopped to think very much about what it would be like to spend all eternity as a portrait. The glimpse inside the existence of Phineas Nigellus that you give us in this one-shot was insightful and pretty clever. You did a good job of building up his personality in a way that was really believable and consistent with both his family legacy and his Hogwarts house and position. The other headmasters and headmistresses were a nice touch, as well. Their disapproval of his attitude and reluctance to help Dumbledore seemed perfectly in line with the way that they're described in the books. Dumbledore, himself, was very well written. His patience and charm came through really well.

I found myself hoping that Phineas would attempt to converse with Sirius when he was visiting Grimmauld Place. That certainly would have been an interesting conversation. I'm torn between thinking that Sirius would have been too annoyed with his ancestor to be civil and thinking that Sirius would have enjoyed just having somebody to talk to, even if the chat did degrade into an argument. At any rate, his thoughts on how his own existence isn't quite so horrible seemed like a sensible reaction to seeing his great-great-grandson struggle with isolation and depression.

Your writing was very good in this. Everything flowed nicely and the mix of narrative and dialog was good. Your descriptions were crisp and vivid and nothing felt overly formal or sing-songy. Nicely done!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading & reviewing!

I am glad you think that this was insightful, and clever, and that Phineas' personality was believable. And that Dumbledore and the other portraits were written well!

Hmm, a lot of people had asked that Phineas conversed with Sirius, but I just didn't know how to put it in.

I am glad you found my writing good, over all. Thanks!


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Review #15, by Jchrissy A Portrait Existence

27th November 2012:
Hi there! What a creative idea. I've always wondered what the Portraits are like. If they do feel things, like tired, what they're existence is like, and how the actually work. One of those mysteries JKR just never got around to solving..

I've never really thought much about Phineas, but this ties in perfectly to what we've witnessed in his books. His obvious pride and distaste for doing anything helpful, being on the level of a servant almost. The arguments between him and his portraits were also amusing, and I have to say I think listening in on them all chat together would be a blast.

I think the inclusion of Sirius and Phineas's thoughts regarding there similarities was also a creative and entertaining idea. Poor Sirius pouting all alone in that house :(.

This was a really enjoyable one shot, but I did wish there was a little more explaining when it comes to being a portrait. Just things like how exactly he travels, does he ever feel anything? Like when the other portrait comes in, could he actually touch them? But this is all just because I'm a curious person :P. Obviously this story wasn't designed for you to make up all of these details, so I'm just being greedy over here ;)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading & reviewing!

Yep, I had always wondered about the portraits too, and this challenge gave me a chance to explore my own little musings :)

I am glad you think that the Phineas in my story ties well with the one in the books, and that you found the arguments with other portraits amusing, and that you liked the whole Sirius & Phineas parallel.

Haha I never really thought about those details, since this was mostly about Phineas' point of view, and I doubt he'd think of how he feels when he travels or when other portraits come in, etc.

Anyway, thanks for the review! Glad you enjoyed this!


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Review #16, by Cleopatraa A Portrait Existence

3rd September 2012:
Well so far I know I havenít read an one-shot solely from the point of view from a portrait so this seemed interesting to read. Especially because itís from the point of view of this so called character. He was rather interesting in the books and I have a soft spot for minor characters.

I liked the comparision you made between the two Blacks and the fact that Sirius id have some Black tendency. I agree with Phineas atleast he had some freedom when compared to Sirius. I never thought about it but a portraitís life is rather boring. You are stuck and a former shade of yourself and in Phineasí case are forced to do the bidding of others for eternity.

I liked that little part about Peeves, him being an assistant and being quite responsible. A very unique idea if I may say.

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you found this an interesting piece. And that you liked the whole two Blacks, being stuck, thing, and also found Peeves' idea unique.

Thanks a lot!


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Review #17, by pink_rook A Portrait Existence

27th July 2012:
I have a soft spot for minor characters, so I was immediately drawn by this story. :) I like how you portrayed (pardon the pun!) Phineas' personality: always mildly annoyed, not really helpful... The thing I loved most about your story is the detail about Peeves; it made me laugh so hard! LOL
I find the ending very appropriate and I like the paradox you worked into it: Phineas, even if he is only a portrait, is freer than Sirius. You had an awesome idea. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I am glad you liked my portrayal of Phineas (haha), and that Peeves' detail made you laugh. I am flattered to know you found my ideas awesome. Thank you!

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Review #18, by CherryBoom A Portrait Existence

26th July 2012:
Hi! I'm here for the Pass the Parcel!

This one-shot intrigued me immediately, since I've never before read any fanfics about Phineas Nigellus Black. You made an excellent comparison between his limited existence as a portrait and Sirius's not-so-voluntary stay at Grimmauld Place. And it was so sad to see Sirius locked in that musty old place.

Phineas felt very book-like and I really like his need to oppose anyone who isn't like him. The other portraits were nice addition to this fic.

Your flow was excellent and dialogue felt very natural. While I quite liked your ending, a part of me would have liked to see a talk between Sirius and Phineas. The idea of Phineas giving a pep talk to him (in his own crooked way) would have been the icing on top of the cake.

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. I am glad you liked it, and that you felt I made a nice comparison between Sirius and Phineas' existence.

I never thought about Phineas giving Sirius a pep talk, but now that you've mentioned it, I may just consider it :D

Thanks a lot for your input once again!


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Review #19, by Woodrow Rynne A Portrait Existence

16th December 2011:
Hey there! :D Sorry for the little late review; I had trouble signing in. :P

Anyway, this was wonderful! To write Phineas' point of view is a very courageous thing indeed, and just let me say that you pulled it off very well!

Characterisation was great- his snarky, arrogant attitude came out quite nicely, but you also managed to show a deeper side to it- how he hated existing as a portrait- how he longed for his adventurous life as an ...well, alive man.

That Peeves twist was fantastic and really original- I couldn't help giggling at the thought of Peeves as his assistant, and that he had been a responsible guy in his life. That's quite mind-boggling, isn't it? :P

I think you portrayed Dumbledore really well too. His persuasion powers are something nobody can emulate, because honestly, he doesn't have to /say/ anything, yet just his eyes make even the most stubborn (like Phineas) melt. :P

One point of critique, though- the formatting is a little messy, so that make it just teeny weeny bit difficult to read. Also, even though this was a brilliant one-shot, I felt as if something was missing. I think it was because you merely /told/ us how Phineas felt, rather than /showed/. Maybe if you could expand it a little more, (with more dialogue)...

I'm merely saying because I would love to read more :P However, this is your story, so..

And it is really good as it is. The description didn't distract from the story, rather added to the pleasantness of this read. And that's the best part about your writing. Some authors use so much description that it's difficult to keep reading, but you use it naturally and subtly, and I love that.

All in all, great writing, and keep it up! :D
Vanya

PS- I know I haven't read your challenge entry yet, but I will, I assure you XP. I didn't want to review it through tag, that's all. :P

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

I'm glad you think I pulled it off well, I was afraid I hadn't done justice to Phineas but your review has eased my worries (yours and some other reviews too :D)

I am also flattered that you find the Peeves thing fantastic, it was just a spur-on-the-moment decision I made on including him, and glad it turned out well! It sure is mind-boggling though :D

*sighs with relief and gratitude* I portrayed Dumbledore "really well"? OMG thank you! you don't know how happy you've made me! it took me a lot of rewrites and edits to finally think that I'd got him satisfactorily right (Dumbledore is a very hard character to pull off), and I'm so happy my hard work kinda paid off :)

Oh the formatting is messy? I never quite noticed that, it's been some time since the story has been up! I'll re-read and do the edits once I'm free from exams, thanks for pointing it out!

Well I actually wanted it to be more of a descriptive rather than a dialogue-oriented fic, because it was a portrait after all, but I'll see what I can do. I am flattered again to know you'd like to read more (though my muse is on vacation at the moment I'm afraid), but Thank you for the comments :)

Also nice to know that the description was moderate and that you didn't find it annoying or distracting.

"And that's the best part about your writing. Some authors use so much description that it's difficult to keep reading, but you use it naturally and subtly, and I love that." -- OMG I'm over the moon. thank you!!

You have no idea how happy and proud you've made me after your wonderful review!! Thanks a lottt!! :D And no problem about the challenge entry review, take your time!! :) {I'm afraid it's not as good though, but oh well}!

Thanks again!



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Review #20, by Cassius Alcinder A Portrait Existence

27th November 2011:
Review Tag!

This was a very enjoyable and original story, much different than any fics I've read so far!

The characterization was spot on. You really captured Phineas' pride and haughtiness, and how trapped and confined he would feel in his new form of existence. Making the comparison to Sirius and his situation was a very nice touch.

Dumbledore's brief appearance seemed just like the Dumbledore in the books, and its nice to see that from a different perspective.

Good job on an original story!

Author's Response: Hey!

Aww thank you so much! I am flattered! I am glad you found it original and the characters and everything good.

Thanks a lot for your kind review :)


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Review #21, by LionsRule A Portrait Existence

23rd November 2011:
Hi there! LionsRule here from the forums with your requested review! ^_^

First of all, your plot was well-structured. It was short and sweet, which was great, as it really just provided a snapshot of Phineasí life. I think it was great that it was only one scene of his life that was written, because if it had gone one any longer, it would have made it boring. So you chose well with your word length.

Also, I really enjoyed the opening scene. It was familiar to HP readers because it was in the book, so it definitely stuck to the books. Yet you didnít simply copy it out of the books, but you did your own spin on it. It was really refreshing to see it from Phineasí point of view.

The tone was very consistent, and you also stuck to the characters well. You really got into Phineasí character and you stuck to his true personality, which helped make the story very believable. You also explained some of the backstory, so it was easy for readers to follow along.

I also loved your word choice. You picked great vocabulary to make the story sophisticated, yet you didnít make it confusing. I canít tell you how annoying it is to read a fan fiction where it seems as though the author looked up every single word in a thesaurus and changed it! Yet your word choice was sophisticated enough, but still easy to understand. That really helped your sentence flow and provided a good addition to the piece.

Now- these are just suggestions, so don't take these too harshly. I always look for any critique when I review, so here are a few areas where you might be able to improve.

There were a few parts of the story that dragged a bit, so it might be a good idea to revise your flow. Some sentences were a bit choppy, while others had a bit too much detail. For example, the conversation between Phineas and Derwent in the beginning, as well as when Dumbledore asks Phineas for a favor tends to drag a little bit. The ending is a bit rushed in comparison.

However, overall, I think this was an excellent piece. It was very refreshing to read, and it was also very original. You are a fantastic writer! Feel free to request again from me in the future for any other stories you might want reviewed. Keep up the amazing work! ^_^

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks for such a nice review :)

Glad you liked my plot, word length, opening scene, the tone, Phineas's character, the backstory and the vocabulary. I really appreciate your comments, and feel flattered :) Thank you!

Don't worry, I don't take the suggestions harshly :)

I'll see what I can do about the flow to make it less draggy when I do an edit, and about the sentences too - thanks for pointing that out.

I am happy to know it made a refreshing read and you think I'm "fantastic". That puts a nice big smile on my face ^_^

Thanks a lot once again!! I'll surely request for some other story of mine soon!


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Review #22, by foreverfleur A Portrait Existence

19th November 2011:
This is was a really cute and succinct piece. I have for some reason been reading a lot of 'portrait' pieces lately just out of coincidence and must say I enjoyed this one immensely.

I especially liked the background you gave to Peeves--what an under explored character (like Phineas himself), it was just a really nice spin. Imagining the dynamic between the two of them--what a pair they would have been!

The only thing I wish you had developed a bit more was the scene Phineas was peeking in on as he traveled from Hogwarts to Grimmauld Place--though clearly your focus was Phineas' character/perspective as a portrait, I think bringing Dumbledore and Sirius out a bit more (their characterizations/that plot line) might strengthen your characterization of Phineas, giving you a bit more to compare and contrast with.

But otherwise, great job! Makes me want to incorporate Phineas into my stories somehow!

Author's Response: Hi there!! Thank you so much for reading && reviewing :)

I am glad you found it cute and succinct :D That makes me smile. I'm happy to know you liked the Peeves' part I squeezed in there; I initially planned to write him as a separate one-shot (his life before a poltergeist) but then I didn't seem to be able to get it right, but the plot bunny just wouldn't go so I incorporated it here :D Glad you appreciated it!

About the building up of Sirius and Dumbledore, I see what you mean but I actually wrote this for a challenge and the sole focus was supposed to be on Phineas. However, If I do an edit in the future, I'll surely keep your comments in mind :D

Thanks once again for the review! I am thrilled that it inspired you to write Phineas too!!

kudos!


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Review #23, by DracoFerret11 A Portrait Existence

18th November 2011:
Hey there! Me again! :D

Well! I really liked this story too! :D You're a wonderful writer, unsurprisingly.

I like the fact that this was written about a minor character, but you stayed true to his characterization and I really liked that. Well done!

The story was short, sweet, simple. Again. :] I like that. It made me smile. The one thing I might change is at the beginning where you say, "Mr. Dumbledore requires your assistance Phineas!" I think it should be "Professor Dumbledore," but I suppose that's personal opinion.

Random sidenote: I loved the line, "Since a young age he had been one to enjoy adventure and thrills, to bask in the glory of being correct and ordering around his minions." That was hilarious. :D

So, overall, very well-written. I liked it a lot. :D

--Emily

Author's Response: Heyy!! thanks once again for your sweet review!

I am flattered you liked it so much and it made you smile :) I love writing about Minor characters so yeah :D ...

Haha glad you found that line hilarious. It took me a couple of shots before I think I got phineas right xD

thanks again!!! :)


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Review #24, by Roots in Water A Portrait Existence

28th September 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I really enjoyed how you started this story, using a scene that we've seen in the books and making it your own.

I think you characterized Phineas very well using what we've seen in the books. He was very proud of being a Black and so of course he wouldn't stoop to being someone else's servant, not when he was the master when he was alive. The line "his dignity was still intact and he desired to keep it so" is a great way to describe his character in a few words.

Why did you use "Nigellus" in the line "what persuaded Nigellus"? All the other times you wrote "Phineas" and I think to switch in that line (unless you had a deeper meaning behind the switch) is a little disconcerting. I thought for a moment that I was reading the same character until I remembered that "Nigellus" was his last name.

I liked the way you linked Peeves and Phineas together. It's nice to read little details that help to make the story come alive, the history to seem more real.

Your ending was really well done. It showed that this story did have some sort of "point" or "place" that it was going and it got there realistically. I do think that seeing Sirius all cooped up would change his mind- after all, as you said, at least he had freedom when he was alive. The last few words really pulled it together, showing one the famous Black pride.

Overall I enjoyed reading this story and I found it interesting. I've never read a story from the point of view of a portrait before and I think you really pulled it off. Thanks so much for requesting a review and I hope my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review!! I am glad you liked it! oh that was my slip I guess, I'll change it to Phineas :)

Thanks once again. I am thrilled that you found it in-character overall and interesting!


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Review #25, by TheGoldenKneazle A Portrait Existence

28th September 2011:
Hi there, it's me with your request :)

I loved this piece! The way you had not really put in much action but just had Phineas describing his lifestyle was really interesting to read, because I've really never thought about it before! I think the way you described each of the aspects of Phineas's life was very clever because they all had a proper reason behind it, and overall was described really well.

I love how you characterised Phineas too! He was such an old codger, and I love how you made him so scathing of the other portraits except for one - his views on headmasters and headmistresses were funny to see, and he was such a pureblood Slytherin snob the way you wrote him ;)

I love your idea of Peeves being a Headmaster's assisstant before he was a poltergeist too, and all of Phineas's noticing little details about Dumbledore. I thought the way you brought Dilys Derwent into it was very clever too!

But I loved the ending the most in this. It was so sad to see Sirius like that, and I love the conclusion Phineas gathered from it, because it was so true for both him and Sirius. I felt so sorry for both of them :(

Overall, I loved this! It's a really great descriptive and detail-rich piece which is so different from anything I've ever read :) Great job!
~TGK

Author's Response: Hi TGK!

Oh I am absolutely flattered! This review totally made my day - possibly my week :P

Haha I am glad I got Phineas' characterization correct - I'm a slytherin snob myself so it wasn't too hard to write :P

I really appreciate such a sweet review hitting on all aspects. Thank you so much!!! I am glad you really liked this!!


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