This was very creative- the fact that he can't say it to his first love, which makes it that much important to say to his second. Great job and thanks for participating!Author's Response: Thank you! I enjoyed the challenge. Report Review
Hi! :) I've come with your review. I'm really sorry it took so long; RL got way busy all of a sudden! But I'm so glad you dropped another of your stories into my review queue :)
This isn't a surprise, but I definitely felt for poor Snape here. It had to be awful witnessing that exchange in the Great Hall. I love how you made the point about how James continually told Lily all the things that Snape was afraid to tell her. I also liked how you used the incident to transition to the scene from Snape's Worst Memory -- no wonder he chose that one! I don't fully understand the Sekhmet storyline because I haven't read the pairing before, but I appreciated this anyway because you did a good job of explaining it enough that it fit within this story. It was sweet how Snape was finally able to say the word 'beautiful', even if only to himself, at the end.
That being said, I would recommend that you look into getting a beta reader. I did see a lot of typos and technical mistakes in this piece that could definitely be rectified with the help of an additional pair of eyes to proofread your work.
Great job! Thanks again for requesting a review, and as always, I hope my feedback is helpful to you :)
AmandaAuthor's Response: Hi! Oh don't worry about how long it took! I understand how crazy life can get!
I am happy to hear you thought the transitions worked. I had a rough time originally getting them to flow well. I am also happy that well the Sekhmet part of this one-shot did not fully make sense it was still an enjoyable read for you.
I would love to get a beta the problem is the program I use at the moment to write is not good for sharing documents back and forth. I plan on getting my stories edited once I am able to get a better program.
Thank you for another review! Report Review
Hello there, hun! Here with your review as requested. I'm so glad you brought me back for another piece of yours. I really love reading your stuff. You're an awesome writer, and I always find them to be such emotional and enjoyable pieces.
And this piece was no different! Wow, it was beautiful.
I loved it all. Yet another interesting take on Snape's whole past relationship with Lily and those feelings. This was a great interpretation.
And Snape's thoughts came across very well, and then the flashback just flowed into the piece perfectly. It really helped to contribute to the feel of the story and to Snape's character.
It's pieces like this that just make me feel awful for Snape. His loss over Lily and now over Sekhmet. You really make it all beautiful though and so enjoyable.
And I think Sekhmet is such an original character! And that name. Wow. I really don't know how you came up with it, but I always find the name of an OC character to be very important. The name contribues a lot to the originality of a character, I think. Therefore, you have to avoid all the common names and such. Especially in the HP universe. JKR uses such odd names, and you did a brilliantly job of picking a name that I could easily see JKR using. So that's awesome.
A short piece, but really very nice and so enjoyable. I felt better about Snape towards the end of the chapter. While it was still somewhat sad, I did get a somewhat good vibe about it. I felt like it was somewhat uplifting in an odd way, if that makes any sense and you get what I'm saying. :P Snape is admitting this and he is starting to think better. You said that everything around him feels encouraging there in the last sentence, and you turn the feel around completely. It becomes hopeful. Ah, and then that last sentence. A perfect conclusion to it all. :)
This piece was really great! I loved it so much. Thank you for requesting! And I hope this was somewhat helpful for you. I feel like I just kind of went on about random things in this review that I loved, but my mind is still kind of up in the sky about this piece. :P
Really fantastic job! Thank you so much for requesting! :)Author's Response: Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoy my writing so much! :D
Sekhmet's name is the name of the Ancient Egyptian goddess of war. I agree that the originality of character names really help with setting them apart from characters with trend names. We (Chaos and I) really wanted to go with using odd or uncommon or old names when creating Sekhmet and her sister Isis.
I completely understand what you are trying to say about the vibe being somewhat uplifting. I actually going for that. I wanted there to be a glimmer possibility and a chance for Snape at the end of the story.
Yes your review was helpful and I enjoyed reading it!
Thank you again! Report Review
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