firefly,

Love your descriptions of the forest... vivid and real. And also how you described Hermione and how she tightened herself into a cocoon. Great use of analogy there.

And I do love Scabior... so good looking in the movies. That alone has me wanting to read more. :)

This is an excellent first chapter. There is mystery, a problem, Scabior... and the readers all know where she is going, but what is Draco going to say? Hmm?

Hope all is well your way...
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Hi! I totally didn't realise you'd reviewed some of my stories. It has brightened my recovery a hell of a lot :)

I really enjoyed writing the description of the forest, I always love writing about scenery but I don't do it often enough.

Ahh yes Scabior, I am a fan of him too.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. And yes, what is Draco going to say. I am going to be working on the next chapter soon. I've had to change the original plot slightly because I wasn't happy with it but I am hoping it will be under way soon!



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this looks very interesting. when is yhe next chapter comming ?

Author's Response: I've hit a MAJOR block with this story but I hope to make some progress on it soon :)

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This is very intriguing indeed!

The hook is awesome; the atmosphere is built up brilliantly, making us fear for her safety - our fears are then confirmed by the two snatchers, and then you end on a ~cliff-hanger~ to further heighten the tension!

With the opening scene, I think the passage could benefit from more full-stops. Consider the first sentence with a full stop instead of a comma - I personally feel that the full-stops would slow down the pace, and further emphasise the dead-end situation she finds herself in. And then again after "she was shivering slightly." I think it would really tighten the tension that you convey with the atmospheric imagery

Author's Response: Thanks for the advice about the full stops. I do have a slight problem with over-using commas in my writing. I'll be editing this chapter soon.

I'm glad you thought it was intriguing, that was the whole idea of the epilogue!

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I really like the prologue :D This is going i my favorites :)

Author's Response: Wow thanks for the favourite after a really short chapter.
I am trying to work on this story, not having much luck atm but there will be more!

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This has caught my attention, more please, I would like to see where this storyline goes too.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review :)


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I think it's wonderful : D When will be next chapter ?: )
10/10

Author's Response: I am flattered you think its wonderful :)
I've had to change some of the plot around but I am hoping to get re-started with this story soon :)

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This is awesome! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :) I'm picking this up again soon :)

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Im intrigued!
Cant wait for whats next :)

Author's Response: I'm hoping to carry on with this pretty soon :) thanks for reviewing :)

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sounds interesting. :)
write more

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm in the middle of sorting out some plot problems at the moment, I hope to carry on writing it soon!

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I love the start of your story and am looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

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more! more! more! :D

Author's Response: There will be more don't you worry!

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