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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MissesWeasley123 Their Secrets Keep

29th December 2013:
So smart, like smarter than smart and intelligenter that intelligent. (So smart I had to make up a word, I know) Anyway, I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing at the forums!

This was great, so sweet but also so sad. It was bittersweet, I suppose. Fabulous writing, nevertheless.

The pairing was such an intelligent idea, honestly. It's the idea of a pairing made in heaven, if you get what I mean? Like, both Hagrid and Myrtle are not accepted because of they way they look, and you would hope they would seek friendship in one another. For me that was brilliant, the concept of it all. I love ideas like that, it's one of hope which means a lot to me.

Hagrid is so sweet and caring. I loved the new take on him. You showed his gentleness so amazingly, and I felt really really bad here:

"Hagrid? You..." her voice cracked and it was apparent that she was about to cry. "You! You did this to me?!" Hagrid felt his heart drop. 'You killed me! I trusted you and thought you cared!" -- that pretty much killed me. There was so much emotion and heartbreak in that... UGH. I haven't felt this way before, and it's great how you were able to do that.

This piece was brilliantly written. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I'm currently working on expanding it a little bit more to show just how much this affected both Hagrid and Myrtle.

I love this pairing and I can't wait to post my 'grown up' version of this story.


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Review #2, by writeyourheartout Their Secrets Keep

29th December 2013:
Hi Kay! I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing challenge over on the forums and was so glad to find not only a story that fit today's criteria - a story starring Hagrid - but that was also written by a friend and was really enjoyable! Lucky me, huh? ^.^

Wow. Just... what an obscurely perfect scenario you've concocted here. Like, I can't even understand what has just happened. It feels like my brain has been rewired to ship Hagrid/Myrtle. LOL I just adore what you did with them, both as individuals and as a pairing!

Hagrid is exactly as he should be, I think; a bit of an outcast, pining for another outcast, kind and gentle and caring and immediately prepared to run to Myrtle's aid at the first sign of trouble. The way he sees Myrtle is just so perfectly written, to the point where I wonder how I never saw it for myself because it feels so very canon now.

The first few paragraphs have to be my favorite things of the entire story, to be honest. It ended up being really sad to see Myrtle from Hagrid's perspective in this! She's always alone, she gets teased so much that she doesn't believe his compliments, he eventually becomes her first friend; it makes me feel so badly for her! It's almost strange to think that way because she's so annoying in the books! haha I think it's wonderful that you could offer us such a new, refreshing, and heartbreaking side of her that also weaves into canon in a believable and intriguing way.

"He was her first friend. She was his first love." - I love this moment. Hagrid is too sweet in this. Honestly, it's just a great relationship to have written a story around. You did a great job with them, Kay! Kudos!

One thing I did notice, though, is that you tend to start a lot of sentences in the same way; so much so that it actually becomes quite repetitive in places. The further I read, the more I realized that almost every sentence in this story starts either with the words He, She, His, Her, or somebody's name. A great example of this is in the section starting with the line, "He walked out of the Great Hall searching for her-" and ending with the line, "She sat in the stall for hours on end." Of the 15 sentences between those two lines, 10 of them start with the word 'He' and the other 5 start with the word 'She'. It just becomes too repetitive, is all. Playing around with the opening words to sentences will add a nicer variety, I think!

Something else I noticed is that there were a handful of times when I felt you rushed through certain moments that I would have liked to see expanded upon a bit more. For example: After Hagrid learns about Myrtle dying, he doesn't really seem to grieve at all, far too concerned with the idea that he was being blamed and not that the girl he loves has just been killed. I think by skipping how he took this news, you missed a great opportunity to break our hearts a bit with some description emotions about his loss; maybe a panic about whether or not she would choose to become a ghost and if he would be able to talk to her still, at least. Anything would have been nice here, but you sort of skipped over the entire ordeal. The ending felt very abrupt as well. All of that said, however, I still enjoyed myself the whole way through, so I suppose it's not that big of a deal! :-p

Some typo's/grammatical errors:

"But as the years past (passed, not past) she grew fond of him and the guarded girl let him into her life."

"He maybe (may be, not maybe) her best friend, but he was still a person."

"Olive had said really set her off this time and Myrtle had missed two classes before someone was sent to try to find her." - I think you forgot to put the word 'What' at the beginning of this sentence.

"People had started to avoid that bathroom just incase (in case, not incase) she was there. Olive checked ever (every, not ever) floor before that one(,) wanting to be out of class for as long as possible."

"Hagrid knew that Myrtle deserved so much more then (than, not then) what she got."

Overall, I really enjoyed this! I adore the pairing and the way you fit it so perfectly into canon! I'm glad I stumbled upon in it my search for Hagrid-centric stories! Great job, Kay! :-D

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I'm currently working on expanding it a little bit more to show just how much this affected both Hagrid and Myrtle.

I read this a few weeks back and cringed at how repetitive it is. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, it's one of my babies. I think it's really ready to grow up a little bit though.


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Review #3, by BookDinosaur Their Secrets Keep

5th December 2013:
HAI KAYKAY!

So he first thing I saw on your AP was this story because it's at the top, and then I saw that it said Hagrid/Myrtle in the summary and I was like 'WAIT WAT' and clicked on it, and now I am so glad I did.

I think Hagrid and Myrtle are a really orginal pairing and they would (have...) worked really well together. I think they would have suited each other well, seeing as both of them were misfits and different, and they were the complete opposites of each other really. :D

I love the backstory you gave us, it was simple and nice, and it worked put very realistically, which was a huge plus for me because I do have a bit of a hard time reading about things which make no sense. How they ended up together because they were both misfots was pretty sweet, gah they would have worked so nicely together why did Myrtle have to go and die?!

Adn hahaha, I love how Hagrid just threw a 'yes' in the direction of the poeple, he wasn't even aware of the question he was answering, haha! That made me laugh. :P

Ah, but poor Hagrid! I really feel so sorry for him now, he was pretty much the only person who cared for her and now he's being accused of killing her! Cruel irony. And poor Myrtle, it can't be nice having the guy you trusted, maybe even liked, seem to kill you. Gah. Too many feels over here KayKay!

I don't really have any CC for you, except maybe you could go over this one-shot again and revise it a bit? I spotted some typos ('Olive had said really set her off this time ') and I there were some tense errors, and there were a couple of times where you slipped into first person, when the rest of this was told in third person.

Other than that, I really have no complaints, this was an amazing story and I really enjoyed reading it! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I'm currently working on expanding it a little bit more to show just how much this affected both Hagrid and Myrtle.

This is very much so my headcannon. I'm glad that people enjoy it.


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Review #4, by soufflegirl99 Their Secrets Keep

10th March 2013:
This is a very tragic story - such an awesome and original pairing as well - lots of kudos for the awesome pairing.

It was very sweet, and you wrote it very innocently at the beginning, before turning to a more grief-stricken style of writing. I found this one shot very emotional actually, both for sadness and anger at the injustice of Hagrid's childhood.

I love the way you describe how Hagrid reacts to the shock - it's very realistic and believable. I thought it was also really clever when you said that Myrtle had been taken in life and death - very inventive. The structure of the lines is brilliant, too - neat sizes of Hagrid's thoughts - it made the story flow really well.

Overall, a super duper one shot that combined fear, anger, grief and happiness in one smooth awesome one shot :)

Author's Response: I've always wondered about what the relationship that Hagrid and Myrtle had back then since they were in school together. I decided in this piece that they should be friends, boarding something more. I really want to do another piece where you can see them a few years later. Myrtle has to know who people say killed her and I would be interested to see the two of the interact with him as the grounds keeper.

I'm glad that you enjoyed this piece and thank you for taking the time to review it!


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Review #5, by TyrannicFeenix Their Secrets Keep

2nd February 2013:
Here you go, a review, finally...

I liked it originally but I have to admit it is way better now. So much more detail to it, and I love the way you further explored their background together. Still a really harsh ending though, poor Hagrid.

I still think there is more room to develop this, even as a single chapter story. And there are a handful of teeny tiny errors I noticed because I'm pedantic. But otherwise this is one excellent piece of work. Nice stuff.

I look forward to more soon. Like really soon. Seriously, you should be writing now. Stop reading and get writing ;P

TyrannicFeenix

Author's Response: I think I'm going to need you to start Beta-ing my stories for me! I would love more feedback on where you think this can expand to. I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

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Review #6, by slytherinchica08 Their Secrets Keep

16th January 2013:
Oh I enjoyed this! I had never really thought about Hagrid with anyone really other than what the books tell us but now that I have read this piece, I think that these two would have been so cute together. They were both misfits of sorts and of course they can always make the best couples sometimes. I thought it was rather sad that he loves her but yet he was the one being blamed for her death. I really didn't notice anything that needed to be improved upong though I do hope that you decide to make this longer as I really did enjoy this and I think it would be cute to see what she has to say when he finally admits that he loves her. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review. Instead of rewriting this piece, I'm going to just expand it. I feel the chapter is just too short. I always imagined them together as at least friends while they were in school together and just expanded on that. Glad that you liked this and thank you for reviewing!

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Review #7, by TyrannicFeenix Their Secrets Keep

3rd August 2012:
Wow, that is a great start. Puts a new spin on things and I quite like it. Poor Hagrid, not only framed for something he didn't do; but also lost a dear friend in Riddle's lust for greatness. This is just so truly well written and I cannot wait to read more.

TyrannicFeenix

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Sadly the rewrite is taken longer than expected and causing me some issues, but I WILL GET IT DONE AND POSTED! I promise. :) Thank you so much for the review.

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Review #8, by NaidatheRavenclaw Their Secrets Keep

18th July 2012:
Hi there! This was a really nice one shot :) I liked that it was from Hagrid's perspective. It was new and different, but I think you captured him really well. He is sweet and loyal, and I do think that this could be his reaction to being framed for her death. And the last line, that was adorable. It added a whole new persepctive to the story and I almost wish there was more.

Just one typo I caught: "Her body lie there dead" That should be laid there dead ;)

Honestly, I think this was really sweet, well written, and a great moment that not a lot of people think about. Nice job!

REVIEWED FOR THE HOUSE CUP 2012 COMPETITION

-Naida

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm still working on rewriting this. I'm glad that you liked it though!

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Review #9, by accioHPFF Their Secrets Keep

28th October 2011:
Hi!

You've reviewed both of my stories and I thought I'd come and leave you a review!

Firstly, you've picked a great pairing to write - I've never seen it before and it was intersting because you've paired two people that were socially excluded at Hogwarts.

It was placed in a part of the story, which I would never think to write, but it was brilliant.

Overall - it was pretty concise (not a criticism) and VERY well written.

-accioHPFF

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! It's always good to hear some feedback. :) Still waiting on chapter 2 *wink wink*

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Review #10, by Alicia Their Secrets Keep

25th September 2011:
Oh! How interesting! A Myrtle/Hagrid! I'm surprised nobody else thought of this! But, they were in school together, after all! :D

I just wish this were a bit longer, 500 words is so very short! :(

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm working on expanding it to a short story so there should be more soon. :)

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Review #11, by leannemariesnape Their Secrets Keep

11th September 2011:
This is a really interesting pairing, and I'm really surprised no one has thought about it before! It is really interesting, and reading a fic in Hagrid's POV was really cool. I'd love to read something about the later years. Yeah, this was really cool! Loved it! :D

Leanne

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm currently working on expanding the story, especially to include the later years while she is a ghost.

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