Reading Reviews for Whispers Like Prayers
  
33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by True Author It's Enough

8th September 2012:
Wow! I loved Sirius in your story i dont know why! =] Anyways, this was a nice one shot.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing! Glad you liked it.

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Review #2, by charlottetrips It's Enough

2nd July 2012:
You literally never cease to amaze me. The depth of understanding you can imbue in people and the relationships between them is fascinating in it's complexity but also in its simplicity. I came here from the BvB battle thinking "oh no, what is there left to review?" but I realized there was some stories that I'd skipped over because of the slash. Despite whatever I have on that, I have no mind reading it when you're writing it, because you handle things so well.

The story, as it turned out, was one of hope mixed in with all this loss. I barely think of how Remus and Sirius must have dealt with the idea of someone being a traitor in their midst. After being so close for so long, you explored the emotions re this quite realistically. The fact that they loved so well would also mean they could hurt so much. But for them to also be willing to set that aside, even for just a short while, it matches with the way you've portrayed them as well as how we know them.

I like that Sirius doesn't kill Peter and that Harry will have a chance to grow up in a household with love. I wonder how that would've affected him.

Beautifully done as always dear.

xChar

Author's Response: You are far too kind, Char! You have me blushing. xD

I know you said before you weren't very fond of slash, but I'm glad you decided to read this anyway. I try not to make it a huge focus of the story, or make anyone uncomfortable.

I really wanted to tackle the sense of loss in this, but I'm so used to writing angst and the aftermath of that Halloween night, following canon as much as possible, and it's so tragic. I wanted to give Remus and Sirius a happier ending than the ones they were given in canon (despite the slash).

If Sirius killed Peter, he would have been imprisoned too and I couldn't have that! I love the idea of Harry growing up with Sirius and Remus and loving magic. Maybe I'll write a future-take of this little family. :)

Thanks, dear!


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Review #3, by Jchrissy It's Enough

24th June 2012:
Oh my gosh. Okay, I'm not on the Sirius/Remus side (Sirius and myself are going to live happily ever after, in fact ;) ). But I don't dislike stories that are. I really like challenging my own idea of canon by reading them, and yours did an amazing job of that. You had me fighting for Remus and Sirius, wanting them to just work everything out and stop accusing each other. I felt so hurt when Sirius called Remus a traitor, and loved your explanation of Greyback putting that into his mind.

I wish this wasn't an AU type of ending and could have been real :(. It seems so easy, all Sirius had to do was tell them he wasn't the secret keeper! They would have believed him, or if they didn't it would have been clear when Peter never joined them. Even truth potion could have done it! Anything to make it so the rest of the friendships weren't torn apart with Remus believing Sirius to be a traitor forever.

I think I already said this in your 'She is a lion' story, but this is all the saddest aspects of Harry Potter for me. The way every Marauder ended up dead, and how horribly it all unraveled.

Your imagery is amazing, along with the emotions. Every single one is so clearly felt, and they all just kept breaking my heart. You made me want more than anything for this to be the true ending ;(!

Author's Response: Well, I'm glad despite the fact that you don't ship Remus/Sirius, you gave my little fic a chance and I had you rooting for them in the end. That means a lot to me. :)

Oh my gosh, I wish this was real too. That they realized who was the traitor originally and Harry got to live with Sirius and grow up with a family who loved him and showed him the beauty and power of magic instead of hiding him away in a cupboard under the stairs preaching about the evils of magic. I don't even know why Sirius didn't tell them, didn't demand they use a truth serum on him or something. Maybe he was resigned to his fate. Maybe he thought since he suggested the switch that James and Lily's blood were on his hands as well and he deserved it. Gah, the tragedy! /endrant

Oh man, I know. The Marauders, seriously.it kills me how they all die. :(

Thank you so much for your review! I'm really glad you liked it and you read it. It's a great mentality to go into fics thinking to challenge your view on canon - I love it!


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Review #4, by justonemorefic It's Enough

26th May 2012:
I'm actually quite fond of Marauder AUs so I'm excite :3 Ahh, I love this premise. It's like the sort of thing that's inspired by canon, but can lead anywhere, so I don't know their fate yet.

;A; oh it hurts to see them accuse each other. I love how you write it, the little actions between them just slip right in - they're always feeling each other (I do not mean that to sound so awful xD but I don't know an elegant way to put it) - and I get this feeling of intimacy between them even in the pauses.

And then when they're with James and Lily ;A; ;A; What's really heartbreaking is that they've been expecting this, it seems. Like they know death is near; it's just a matter of time. Oh oh, and I love this bit: Itís the folly of young men, he thinks. We often believe weíre immortal. But he has borne witness to death and he no longer fears it; he knows it is not his time, not yet.

Peter you coward D: I hope he gets the worst of the dementors. The one with the smelly breath.

The action flew right by! Phew, I was scared for a minute there that might be some last-minute oh noes, like hidden Death Eaters. But I'm so glad everyone's all right, including baby Harry -- and aww, the ending :3 I love Remus' thoughts throughout the whole thing. For the most part, it's only been a night, but I can see how much these few hours transformed them. Bittersweet hope is my favorite.

♥ wonderful :3

Author's Response: Well I'm actually quite fond of you. :P

I've written so many Remus/Sirius stories but I had never written one in which I changed their fate, and I don't know why I hadn't thought of this sooner, because I'm a sucker for HEAs.

I'm all about small details that reveal a lot and it's so easy with Remus and Sirius to include those. Haha, you don't sound awful, at least I know what you're saying. There's a definite intimacy between them and I think that's why it's so easy for them to fall back into a relationship of sorts despite their mistrust of one another.

Aw, I love that line you pulled out too. I just think of the Marauders as these reckless young men, you know? And boys always think they're invincible and nothing can hurt them and this is kind of like a slap in the face with reality.

Ooh, smelly breath. That would be terrible. Peter definitely deserves that, the rat.

This was my HEA fic so no surprises! I want everything to be all nice and happy. It's crazy how much their lives can change in a few hours. But gah, can you imagine Harry being raised by Sirius and Remus? So presh.

Thanks for your review!


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Review #5, by Lillylover22 It's Enough

13th April 2012:
That was beautiful. You wrote it well. 10/10 : )

Author's Response: Aww, thanks. This is one of my favorites so I'm really happy you liked it. Thank you. :)

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Review #6, by Ellerina It's Enough

31st January 2012:
So. I've been meaning to come by and review something of yours for ages because all of my friends can't stop talking about your writing, and now I am going to embarrass myself by having a bought of capslock

UGH THIS IS SO THE REALITY I WANTED I JUST UGHHH I LOVE WELL-WRITTEN REMUS/SIRIUS AND AN ACTUAL LOVELY AU AND THIS IS JUST ALL OF THE GOOD THINGS

Ahem, now that that is over, haha. It's really good to see an AU that I can really get behind here on the archives. It's a really underused genre and there is so much that could be done with it, it makes me sad that more people don't give it a try (of course, this could just make more opportunities for badfic, but you never know),

I think my favorite part was the opening. I learned so much about their relationship in only a few lines, about both Remus and Sirius' characters, and it was a great way to draw me in.

"Don't," he says, shrugging away from arms that have always held him together but are now threatening to tear him apart. this blew me away. I got such a visual and a feel for the whole scene just from that one little idea. This argument was very real feeling actually, because it wasn't really even an argument, just two people reacting to very deep betrayals of trust (one false, but it certainly felt real at the time), and their reactions really grabbed my heart, because I think I would have done the same in their place.

My other favorite part was, of course, the end. The picture of the three of them, Remus, Sirius and baby Harry, all together in a too-small bed, with Remus crying and Sirius kissing his fingers -- it's all so raw feeling, and I was really struck, in the same way that Remus was, about how young they all were when this happened. They were just about my age, and that really brought this home for me and drew it all together.

Definitely enjoyed this!

Annie

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Review #7, by ariellem It's Enough

30th January 2012:
Hello!

I don't read Remus/Sirius, no scratch that, I normally don't read non-canon stories. But I've read some of your work and I think your absolutely brilliant. So I decided to give this a shot.

I actually really liked it, I can tell you put a lot of effort into it and you did a great job so good for you! I particularly enjoyed the characterization of it.

Author's Response: I'm glad you gave this story a chance despite it being non-canon. Thank you for your compliments, you're so sweet. :)

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Review #8, by WitnesstoitAll It's Enough

29th January 2012:
THIS WAS GORGEOUS.

Oh my gosh. I'm assuming this is the one shot you were talking about the other day, and I couldn't help but read it for the review tag. I've never read Sirius/Remus before, but this was so well done. Their love of one another alost transcended them being -sirius- and -remus- and instead they were just Sirius and remus, two sould in love in the face of a horrible set of circumstances. The description was bril, the use of italics was wonderful. This was all just so lovely.

Fabulous.
Melissa

Author's Response: Aw, thanks, Mel!

Yeah, this is the one-shot. I actually saw you lurking in the thread and figured if you read anything of mine next, it'd be this one, so I'm glad my hunch was right. :)

I adore Remus/Sirius, so I'm really, really happy that you could see their love for one another, and how important it is to them, and this story. It's the only thing keeping them from falling apart during this time of intense grief and mourning.

You have no idea how excited I was to see such a lovely review like this from you. Thank you so much. :)


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Review #9, by javct It's Enough

17th January 2012:
Review Tag!
This is the first Sirus/Remus story that I've ever read, but the shipping has intrigued me before.
I loved the way you wrote this and the way you portrayed the emotion.
I think its fair to say you made a shipper out of me :)
Jaz (this has to be the shortest review I've done in a long time haha)

Author's Response: Aw, well, I'm glad one of my Remus/Sirius fics was your first. I'm really happy that you liked it; the emotion in this fic is some of my favorite, so I'm pleased that it was good enough for you.

I hope you'll continue to ship Remus/Sirius; they're great together.

Thanks so much for your review. :)


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Review #10, by CatLuvr001 It's Enough

6th January 2012:
Hi! It's your secret santa from Ravenclaw :)

(Also, allow me to apologize for the lateness of my gift distribution :( It's very unkind of me and I hope that you can forgive me!!)

To be honest, I don't usually give much thought to Remus/Sirius because when I first started reading ff in the early 2000s it was one of the ships that I'd find starred Lily Evans as the nice sweet un-prejudiced girl--the old tired story that people wrote in a way that I thought lacked a lot of thought beyond the statement of the Remus/Sirius ship. (Sorry for this rambling...I did have a point at one time...) Anyways, what I mean to say is that this is one of the best Remus/Sirius fics that I've read, because it feels real more than it feels like an out-of-nowhere romance. I personally...still...can't ship this ship for some reason because I love Remus and Tonks too much, but it's clearly one that you care about and write well. I loved how you tied together a kind of poetry and a serious story--it took me a while to remember this was AU because I was like WAIT THE BLOOD PROTECTION HARRY NEEDS THE BLOOD PROTECTION but with Remus and Sirius as god father and other father I think that he'd probably be safe enough.

I read this a couple times and it took me a while to feel really sad about Lily and James, and about Peter's betrayal, but I think it's because Remus and Sirius don't really have time to feel bad about it, either--I mean, obviously they're hurt! Their best friends lost to them by one of their other best friends, I can't even imagine that kind of mess of FEELINGSSS but they were so determined to bring justice to Peter that I feel bad, because they deserved to be able to mourn properly, even though you made it clear that, in time, they'd probably be able to. I was so relieved, too, that Peter got caught, because Peter being caught means Sirius isn't sent to Azkaban, etc. I wonder who the Weasley family pet will be? :)

You have this comfortable attention to detail in your writing that makes things vividly real, like watching a film, or following people around and seeing what their lives are like. This felt like the perfect little snapshot into the AU lives of Remus and Sirius, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading a fic you clearly thought out so well, starring a ship you adore :P

Author's Response: Hi Secret Santa, don't worry about the lateness. The quality of the reviews you left me more than made up for that. :)

It's hard to find good, decent Remus/Sirius stories nowadays. They're still my OTP, but I don't read them as often anymore because of it. I'm glad I did my favorite ship justice. I totally get that you're loyal to your own ship but I'm glad you took the chance to give my story a little lovin'. It's definitely a ship that I'm passionate about, not only because of the bond between the characters, but because of the characters themselves. I have a fondness for them, more than any other character, that makes it easier for me to write.

Yes, AU. You know, I didn't even think about the blood protection when I wrote this story - I just wanted a happy ending where Sirius doesn't go to Azkaban, Remus doesn't lose everything he's ever loved, and Harry isn't sent to a place where he isn't properly taken care of. Let's pretend that Remus and Sirius are perfect substitutes and will protect him. :)

Yeah, you make a good point about them not having time to really grieve. It's all go, go, go, you know? They have to find Peter, to prove that he betrayed them. There's time for them to grieve later, in the comfort of their own home.

Ha, no Scabbers. Maybe something cuter than a rat.

I'm really happy you mentioned my attention to detail. I try really hard to work on that, to make things real and descriptive enough so it makes me like all kinds of happy to see that people pick up on it and enjoy it.

Thank you so much for your reviews and being kind to my OTP.


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Review #11, by AC_rules It's Enough

29th December 2011:
I think this is the most slash-y thing that I have ever read to date in my life, but it didn't scare me too much actually (and I don't mean that in a predjucide way, just a this-is-new sort of way - to be clear) and I actually really enjoyed it :)

Although actually, considering in this version everything is like a million times better I have to admit that there wasn't going to be anyway I didn't like it. Quite a few more people wind up happy in this version of events and I am all for that.

I loved the way you had some sentences running together 'yesiloveyou' and things like that - I don't know, I just really like it. You got across exactly what you meant through those little bits and peices :)

You have such poetic little quotes dotted around your easy natural narrative and it really is a pleasure to read. I'm very lucky to have gotten you!

A very later christmas, a happy new year and belated love from your secret santa

-AC

Author's Response: I tend to write my slash as not too blatant, and when it is, it's easy enough for those not comfortable with the idea of slash to still read it and not feel completely uncomfortable. I'm really glad you took the chance to read it despite your lack of experience. It never hurts to try something new!

I wish this version happened in canon. It would make me so much more happier and the end of the Marauders so much less depressing.

Aw, I'm glad you like those. I always feel like it gives a sort of urgency to the words I'm trying to get across to the reader. It's something I tend to use frequently in my slash fics.

This was an exercise is trying to bring back some of that poetic quality I used to be known for, and while I don't think it'll be something I use frequently, it works really well for this story. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for my reviews. You were a wonderful Secret Santa! :)


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Review #12, by Everlasting Faerie Light It's Enough

2nd December 2011:
Okay, you requested a review from me back in September or something...AND I'M SO SORRRYYY that I didn't review it sooner. Things have gotten in the way, but I'm starting my thread back up, so here's your review!

This story is beautifully written. Youíve managed to create an AU slash story that still manages to keep the characters in canon. Sirius is still Sirius and Remus still acts like Remus. The romantic scenes between Remus and Sirius are perfectly balanced, tender, and intense all at the same time. Your word choice makes the reader feel like they really are feeling the emotions that the characters are feeling. Another thing to note is the pace. The pace is absolutely perfect and it never drags out, nor is it to short. I absolutely love your use of imagery throughout the story...not only are your descriptions, but your usage sensory imagery. It's very impressive. Your syntax and writing flows beautifully. As for the storyling itself, I absolutely love it. The emotion of both Remus and Sirius losing James and Lily and then talking about keeping Harry is just heartbreaking because we all know what really happens. Another powerful aspect is how you make the two main characters rely on each other and find comfort each other in these dark times. The last image of your story with both Remus, Sirius, and Harry has that "in the moment" tone, where we all know that there is much more darkness and tears to come, but right now it doesn't matter. I love those sorts of scenes! Your grammar is generally good, although there are a few typos here and there, but it doesn't detract from the story. All in all, this is a fantastic and powerful fic. Well done.

Author's Response: That's okay. I can understand RL getting in the way and I can never blame you for that.

The hard thing about AU and slash is how not-canon it is. I still love to keep canon elements and I'm glad that came across here. Characterization is important to me. Remus and Sirius are some of my favorite characters that writing them is like second-nature. I always imagined them to have a somewhat explosive relationship at times, with Sirius's anger and Remus seems like the type of person who bottles things up until he's ready to explode.

I don't want to comment on every single thing you've mentioned because I feel like I'm just going to keep repeating everything, but your comments have just blown me away. Thank you so much. I did have this beta'd recently so hopefully any typos you've noticed have been fixed now, sorry about that.

Thank you again. This was such a wonderful review that left me beaming. :D


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Review #13, by LittleWelshGirl99 It's Enough

5th November 2011:
Wow, this is a really powerful story. It's such a different and yet similiar take on that Halloween of 1981, amazingly well written and one of the best Remus/Sirius fics I've read!

The emotion and stress is constantly there in a strong undercurrent throughout the story and I was biting my lip at one point! It just drags you into it!

Such an...exhilarating read. LWG :)

Author's Response: I wanted my happy ending so I write it myself. ;) I'm glad you liked it, and you like Remus/Sirius!

I think writing emotions are one of my strengths so yay, I'm glad it came across well enough for you.

Thank you so much for a lovely review!


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Review #14, by NaidatheRavenclaw It's Enough

4th November 2011:
I know I've already read this (in all its beginning stages too :P), but it really is a gorgeous one shot. Being an AU one shot, it probably isn't something I would click on when browsing the archives, but when reading it, I don't even care that it's AU. You've managed to make this so realistic, and make the relationship between Sirius and Remus so perfect, that I prefer your version of reality. The tension in their relationship at the start is probably my favorite part of this. You have them characterized perfectly, and the feeling of betrayal in the first section was incredible.

Because I do feel obligated to say something that isn't a major squee of your work (and believe me, I could talk for hours about how much I love it) , and because I know I mentioned this earlier too, the ending is still just a bit too happy for me. It's not necessarily a bad thing, and it's really just a question of my personal taste, but it's one of those too good to be true moments. However, even those moments come about from time to time, and the ending doesn't take away from the quality of this piece at all. (I think I just defeated my own critique :P)

Anyways, it's a gorgeous story. You're definitely one of my favorite writers on the site! ^_^ Hope you have time to write again, because I'd love to see you finish your novella!

-Naida

Author's Response: Hey there, thank you for reviewing even though you've already given me feedback on it. :)

For a story you may not have chosen to read on your own, I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as you did! I prefer my version of reality too, if only because I believe Sirius and Remus deserve their happy ending - which kind of ties into your point about how it's too happy. I was tired of all the angst and the sad endings of these two characters and well, I wanted something happy and that made everything look like it was wrapped up in a pretty little box with a pretty bow, you know? That was the point.

I'm glad you write it and thank you so much for the compliment. I hope I have time to write soon too!


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Review #15, by TheHeirOfSlytherin It's Enough

3rd October 2011:
Hey, this is SamMalfoy93 with your review!

Did I ever tell you I was a HUGE Remus/Sirius fan? No? Well, now you know. :P

It's amazing how you've kept aspects of canon, while making it AU and, most importantly, you made it your own, but like it could actually have happened.

The accusations, the betrayal, I believed it all and there were times I wanted to hurt Sirius for hurting Remus (no one is allowed to hurt Remus :() and I so agreed with what Sirius was saying about hurting Peter, though I was glad Remus was there to stop him. No azkaban. :)

I loved the change at the end; Moody stopping Sirius and him and Remus looking after Harry. It could have happened! *hopeful face* LOL. I also love the way you wrote it. I don't get to read many written this way. :)

It's an amazing one-shot.

10/10!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi Sam!

You never told me you loved R/S! I knew you were a slash fan but I thought you were more into the Next Gen ships, so this is exciting!

I definitely struggled with the idea of keeping canon elements but having it be AU. I think I kept forgetting that it was supposed to be AU (mostly because I wish it was canon...) so there was a bit of confusion for me in terms of what I needed to keep or take away. Glad it didn't come across as too much of a jumbled mess.

I write a lot of stories where Sirius hurts Remus which is sad, but I feel like a lot of the times Sirius doesn't really know what he's doing. He's too rash and he acts without thinking and so he does things unintentionally without thinking about how his actions might affect others. In this case though, the hurt was intentional, which is the sad part. But he was confused too.

The whole point of writing this story was so they could get their happy ending and Sirius didn't go off to Azkaban. :)

I wish it happened to! We can both pretend, right? Written in what way, exactly?

I'm glad you loved it! Thanks so much for the review.


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Review #16, by Mihali1432 It's Enough

2nd October 2011:
To tell you the truth I think I've read this before but time for my first constructive review!

I'll start with the plot: It starts off as if they've had a normal fight or something like that but then you find out this is when Sirius accuses Remus of being a traitor. Then it skips to a random time and they sort of make up, which kinda confused me. So they just avoided each other then one day they instantly want to be together again? Correct me if I'm wrong but, it seemed out of place... Sorry. Then it skips to the day James and Lily die, this, is what I liked most of this story! It goes well, even the AU part could actually be the real story, instead of Sirius going off alone and getting thrown in Azkaban, and Peter getting away.

Characterization: Sirius seemed to be in character but Remus, was a little off. I don't think he's as quick to anger, but maybe I'm wrong.
Moody should've said constant vigilance! That's my only complaint about him.
Frank: Can't help at all here, I think his character could be ANYTHING and I don't think anyone could complain...
Everyone else seemed on character so I'll leave it at this.

Believability: It works somehow. It's AU, I know, but if Remus and Sirius were lovers (We know Remus wouldn't but I don't think we learned anything about Sirius' love life) this could happen!

I hope you don't take this the wrong way... I really do like this story! :D It's great, but those were just my complaints. I really do like how they reacted to James and Lily's deaths, and when they went to capture Peter. It's not too overboard with AU for me, so it's completely fine with me. :D
And yeah, I think I've read this before.
Mike, and it really is a good story!

Author's Response: I'm going to defend myself for a minute in terms of time jumping. I do it, a lot. It's just how I write. to be honest, I'm not going to spend who knows how many words writing three or four weeks worth of time where there isn't anything worth writing about. It's just pointless filler.

There is definitely a lot of hurt between Remus and Sirius, accusations and lies being thrown about, but the point of this story was to show how much they need each other. I probably could have written it better, made it easier to understand the depth of feeling between the two of them so it doesn't seem like "they instantly want to be together again." Like Sirius said, them being together doesn't fix anything but it's something that they both desperately needed.

I really, really wish Sirius had told someone about that day. Imagine what could have changed! I wish it was canon. I hate that Jo killed Sirius off and paired Remus with Tonks. :(

I think if provoked enough, Remus can be quick to anger. You're right that that's usually Sirius's way of acting, but I think anyone...if pushed enough can react the way that Remus did. I'm sorry it didn't seem realistic. :(

You don't know Remus wouldn't be in a relationship with Sirius! Tonks could just be an elaborate cover-up to heal his broken heart after his lover's death. just saying!! ;)

Glad it didn't seem to AU and that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing and for the criticism even if I don't necessarily agree with some of it - which happens.


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Review #17, by fauxthefox It's Enough

24th September 2011:
Hi, this is fauxthefox from the forums with your requested review! Sorry it's so late, school's getting crazy!

fifteenth of september:
In general, your tone is amazing. I can't really imagine Sirius cursing at Remus, though, especially since at this point he wouldn't have any evidence that Remus is the traitor. But the conflict is good, and I like the way that they interact with each other. I was also bothered by the cigarette. Why would a Wizard smoke? Unless it was something that he started doing to annoy his parents, and then just continued... I think there should be an explanation, though, because it reads a bit strange.

thirty-first of october: Again, wonderful tone. But the conflict is a bit counter-canon: remember that Remus only finds out Sirius isn't a traitor in Book 3. Other than that, I love the desparation and quick pace of the chapter.

Overall, a very nice job!

Faux

Author's Response: That's okay, I don't mind! I understand that school is busy.

The time at which this story takes place, Sirius has an idea that Remus might be the traitor. But I suppose I could have clarified that a bit more - I tried to do that with the line about how Sirius knew Remus had unexplained absences and he was seen talking to Greyback but maybe that wasn't clear enough.

My Sirius is a smoker. I introduced the idea of it in one of my older stories as a means to annoy his parents, yes, and it's just continued throughout my stories. As his smoking isn't the focus of this story, I didn't feel the need to expand on that idea. It's just a character quirk.

Well, yes it is counter-canon. That's why this fic was classified as an AU...so I'm not sure where that confusion came from?

I'm glad you liked it though. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.


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Review #18, by leannemariesnape It's Enough

23rd September 2011:
Hello! Here with your review! :)

I really liked this. Remus/Sirius is a pairing that I've always been interested in, but never got round to reading. This one was very sweet.

It was interesting to read about Sirius's thoughts that Remus was the traitor, and it added a really interesting dimension to the story and the chemistry between the two. Your descriptions are to die for. Honestly, the opening paragraph was just amazing. I could picture it all in my mind vividly.

When it gets to the day of James and Lily being killed, I thought that it was a really good description of everything that happened, and it helped me to visualise some of the events more clearly in my mind.

Having people know he was innocent was also a really interesting twist on this point of view. Maybe things would have been better like this, after all, what with Peter being caught. Especially for Harry...

Also, the image near the end of Sirius with baby Harry on his chest, and Remus to the side of him was really adorable.

I noticed that in some places, some of the words were joined together, but it didn't really take away from the story.

I really enjoyed this! :)

Leanne

Author's Response: Hi there!

Remus/Sirius is the best ship ever! ;) You need to read more of it. It's definitely a bittersweet, angsty pairing.

I feel like I've briefly touched on the subject of betrayal in my other fics so it was interesting to try to make that a key point of this fic. I think the betrayal just reiterates the fact how much they care for one another - that their need for each other outweighed any of the bad that was going on in the war.

Descriptions are one of my strengths so I'm happy that it worked well for you. That's my goal!

I really wanted a happy ending for my pairing so I thought this was the best way to approach that. I wish it was canon...that Harry got to live with people who loved him and he knew about magic and his parents and how loved he was.

The joining of the words was intentional. I'm not quite sure how to describe their purpose though. It's something I do often enough in my fics though.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)


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Review #19, by connerlocke It's Enough

20th September 2011:
This is an amazing one-shot, a very good portrayal of how the night at Godric's Hollow would have gone in this situation. I love your writing style, and I'm glad that I found your post in the common room! ^_^

Author's Response: I'm glad you found my post! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing for a fellow 'Claw. :)

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Review #20, by Logamind It's Enough

15th September 2011:
Hey it's Logamind here from the Forums.

I actually read this story not that long ago and absolutely loved it. So it's great having the chance to read it again. It was a magical story the first time and my opinion on it hasn't changed.

I loved the charcterization of Remus and Sirius. The idea to have Sirius smoking was oddly genius in my opinion. It just worked for me for some reason, it seemed like something Sirius would do.

Stories like this really make me wonder why some people have such a problem with reading slash. They miss out on some brilliant stories, many of them better than most non slash. This is one of them.

The plot ils brilliant. I kind of wish it had went this way in the books, someone should have given JK this idea before she shifted Harry off to the Dursleys. When they're all lying on the bed in the hospital wing. . . it was just beautiful.

"his body broken like his cracked glasses." I could feel the tears in my eyes when I read it. I could just picture the whole scene, you described it wonderfully.

You said to mention something you think could be changed, but honestly I can't find a fault in this story. I loved it. You're a talented writer and I can't wait to read more of your stuff.

Brilliant.

Logamind

Author's Response: I'm so happy you love my Remus and Sirius! I find it interesting that you enjoyed Sirius smoking when a previous reader didn't think it suited him at all. But like I told her - difference in opinion.

Slash is definitely a tricky topic. But I've found some non-slash readers who have enjoyed my stories so I feel like while I do write slash, I try to make my stories accessible to everyone.

I'm glad the plot worked for you. I'm always so sad because of all the death and tragedy of the Marauder era and I just really wanted a happy ending for once, so I wrote this. :) I wish this happened too, that Harry could be raised by people who love him and respect magic.

I'm glad you like my descriptions. I try to make it so that readers can picture what's going on because I love writers who can do that as well so definitely a goal I strive to achieve when I write.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you read more of my stuff soon! :)


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Review #21, by lintyisntaname It's Enough

14th September 2011:
this made me cry. in a good way of course :)

Author's Response: I'm glad. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #22, by faerieall It's Enough

11th September 2011:
Stories like this make me really sad that some people point-blank refuse to read slash. Because seriously, this is lovely. I love that this piece is AU - I feel like too many people shy away from AU. Why? I don't know. I've always felt that it was kind of the point of fanfic.

I read this in a massive hurry and have been meaning to re-read and review it, and all I can say is this is really beautiful, Melissa. Sirius and Remus are characterized perfectly. I think you accurately captured, if going by canon events, how their relationship would have declined, like in this paragraph:

He knows this isnít forgiveness. There is nothing either of them can say that can make any of this right. There are still lies and accusations that lay heavy between them. But for now, Sirius catches Remusís mouth with his and thinks, for just a few moments, they can forget the darkness of the world outside and bathe in the light of the afterglow.

I've always felt Sirius was a bit lofty, much less grounded than Remus and even James. And that last bit of it, is SO Sirius.

Just as well as you manage to capture the decline of their relationship as a result of the canon events, you manage to pick them back up in the AU just as well. How passionately they feel about the events that transpired; the Gryffindor in them - all portrayed very well. I really liked Remus here:

I am too young, he thinks, but then, I am old enough.

They fought as soldiers but they will die as men. For now though, they are but mere children burdened by loss and a responsibility neither of them are ready for.


Remus is introspective like we always see him as being, but it is never too much, never /too/ wise or knowing because how could he really be at a time like that, when everything was in a disarray?

Another great piece. You handle your characters excellently. And I just wanted to say - I think if you wrote that Charlie/Tonks I might explode from joy. This is me not-so-subtly begging, btw. Anyways, well done! ♥ I look forward to seeing what you write next.

-Nisha

Author's Response: I have seriously been staring at this review for weeks and am having the hardest time coming up with a decent reply. This was just a wonderful review and basically I've been flailing around for two weeks rather than write you a reply. Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely and nice review and taking the time to read my story and rec it, as well! I promise I'll TRY to write a Charlie/Tonks for you. Thanks again!

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Review #23, by Atomic It's Enough

10th September 2011:
Hi there, it's Atomic from the forums with your requested review!!

You've done such a great job with this story. It felt so real to me, and you even had me crying when Remus and Sirius find James's body. The imagery in this story is absolutely brilliant. It was all just so vivid and realistic. You did a great job, there.

There was a lot of confusion reading it however, because of the perspective. You begin writing in third person from Sirius's perspective, and then end up switching to Remus's perspective. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but sometimes the use of the pronoun 'he' became very confusing. I might suggest a quick re-read and adding in more 'Remus said/Sirius said' in order to help the flow and readability.

As for the plot, I think it's definitely great. It seemed very plausible and we got to finally read all of the hurt and betrayal that went on between the four boys during this stressful time. I really don't think you need to be concerned with that. It was a very touching story and definitely very believable and creative. You did a wonderful job creating the plot, and I could tell that it was really thought out before you began writing.

-Atomic

Author's Response: Hi there!

I find it funny that you said you cried as I had just responded to a topic about making readers cry. I guess I did a good job, at least, with the emotions.

I did have trouble with the perspective. I don't think necessarily with changing between Sirius and Remus because the 'he' confusion would come up no matter which POV I was writing for. When I originally went through it, I tried to fix as many as I could to make it more easier to read but also felt in some situations that adding their name would have made the sentence flow awkwardly. This story IS unbeta'd so I may request an edit and have someone clear that up for me. I'm glad you mentioned it though because it was definitely something I was concerned about.

I'm glad the plot seemed to work for you. I had a hard time writing it because while it was AU, I kept wanting to make sure it conformed to canon (weird, right?) so I'm glad it pulled together well enough.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #24, by Beeezie It's Enough

10th September 2011:
You know, I usually don't like AU, so I wasn't sure whether I'd have to tell you I didn't think I could give decent criticism, but this worked for me.

Both Sirius and Remus are great characters. We see a lot of the two of them in the books, and I often read Sirius or Remus in fics and just can't see any resemblance between the two. You put your own spin (and universe!) on them without making them unrecognizable, and that's hard to do, and it made the story much better than many other Sirius/Remus fics out there. My only major issue with them and their relationship is that I couldn't understand why, if Sirius really truly thought that Remus was the spy--not suspected, but was sure of it--why he'd be willing to be with him at all. He had trouble letting go, but I didn't see the self-loathing that I would expect to see from someone in that situation. It didn't seem like anything happened to make Sirius reconsider-just that he missed Remus. That was a problem to me. Does that make sense?

Occasionally you have descriptions thrown in that seem either off or unnecessary. The one that jumped out at me the most was "a tone of voice that drips with nobility and privilege," because I'm not convinced that nobility and privilege are playing into his motivations there and from everything else you've showed about him, anger or defensiveness seems like it would be more likely.

You asked specifically about the plot. I think that the overarching plot--the fights, James and Lily dying, them hunting down Pettigrew, and them in the hospital wing--was great. It's neat, it's tight, and it's compelling.

When you get down to the execution of it, it's a little bit messier. The beginning is great, other than the slight believability issue that I mentioned above. The confrontation with Peter, however, didn't work as well. Sirius going from "I'm going to kill him" to "I will let you take him away" without seeming to be suffering from emotional turmoil over the decision later in the hospital wing didn't make sense to me, and I didn't love the way Peter was suddenly just evil because the plot required him to be guilty, especially since Remus conveniently isn't seen until it's too late. There just wasn't any motivation beyond being a bad person that I saw, and it just didn't feel real to me.

The plot is great elsewhere, but in that middle segment, it was choppy.

On the whole, though, I enjoyed it a lot. Thank you for asking me to review it, and I hope this was helpful! :)

Author's Response:

I'm glad the AU worked for you. I struggled a bit trying to make the divide between AU and canon. I was a little too concerned about tying in canon details that I probably shouldn't have worried about since it was AU.

I pretty much only write Remus and Sirius so I feel like writing them comes second nature. Okay, here are my thoughts on the whole betrayal thing. I think it's the hardest part to write into Remus/Sirius relationships. I think it's important to understand the separation between their emotions and their physical needs. I WAS worried people would find it unrealistic - that they would think the betrayal ran too deep and it's impossible for them to find comfort in one another. But it just speaks volumes about the depth of their relationship and how heartbreaking it is to love someone you think could potentially hurt you. It worked for some people and not for others so I guess it all depends on how you interpret the relationship and/or find it realistic or not. I just wanted my happy ending. :)

The detail you picked out...I wanted to make it clear that while Sirius no longer agreed with his family's beliefs and aristocracy, he would use it to his advantage...the regality he was born with...to help him get his way in certain situations. Again, personal preference but I'm glad you pointed it out so I can keep it in mind for future fics.

I'm glad you enjoyed the plot and I apologize that the execution seems messy. I guess it makes sense - you're expecting more anger and Peter's "evilness" doesn't seem realistic. I usually write Peter and give him the credit he deserves as a character but I guess I wanted him to appear more...not necessarily evil but as a manipulator. In canon, he got away with murdering James and Lily and killing thirteen Muggles all the while sending Sirius to Azkaban for his crimes. He couldn't have been all good. I figured Sirius would be more resigned about letting Peter walk away to go to Azkaban, especially with Remus leveling him, but I can see how it seems uncharacteristic of him because he's always been more hot-headed. It's something I'll keep in mind if I decide to do an edit of this story.

I'm happy you liked it, and thank you for pointing out the parts that didn't seem to work for you. I will definitely keep them in mind for future fics and/or a future edit of this story. I think I'd spend too much time obsessing over trying to make it perfect if I tried to edit it now and I just don't have the time.

I really appreciate you taking the time to read and to leave such a detailed review. It was definitely a seriously awesome review. Thank you so much!


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Review #25, by lizmusic45 It's Enough

9th September 2011:
I don't mind slash...I just don't normally read it. I have to give you credit though you made this seem very believable.

Though if Sirius looks like the actor, then I'd normally see him as straight.

On the other hand I didn't mind it, it wasn't bad, the plot line is good, and I liked how you had these little moments that people to forget about.

Like when Sirius asked Hagrid if he could take Harry. So cheers to you for picking that out.

All in all really quite good :)

Lizzie

Author's Response: Thanks for taking a gander at my fics! My hope with the slash that I write is that readers find it believable and that people who aren't really comfortable with slash feel comfortable reading my fics, that they can look past the fact that I've made the characters gay and see them for the relationship they have. I try really hard to make my slashy fics as reader-friendly as possible. I love Gary Oldman for a young Sirius and I can see him as playing for both teams so I guess it's a matter of opinion.

I like to write about the little moments...I think that's why my fics end up way longer than they're meant to be so I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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