Reading Reviews for Achilles Heel
  
38 Reviews Found

Review #1, by British obsessed First Year

20th March 2014:
My favorite pevensie is either lucy or edmund.

Author's Response: Ha, yeah, for me it's Edmund, definitely. :)

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Review #2, by ScarletEye158 Sixth Year

4th March 2013:
Aw, they got together! How sweet! I really want to know how that happened though so expect me to see me at your other story too :P

I don't know how you did it but you made a 4 chapter story seem like a novel! I really felt connected to the characters and it was cool to watch them grow up in such a short amount of time! You appropriately handled their personalities growing as they got older and I thought that was really good :) nice job!

I don't know if I said this in my other reviews or not but I really liked the way you handled Scorpius. He was totally unlike his father in so many ways and I loved that he wasn't the 'typical Slytherin' who goes around picking fights with everyone. I felt like Rose did that more than he did which is pretty ironic to me xD

Another thing I don't think I mentioned before was how well this whole story flowed together. Even though you were switching between a few years in chapters 2 and 3 it flowed so easily and didn't have any awkward traditions. The chapters all ended very nicely and I'm glad the very last one ended where Scorpius loved Rose instead of hating her like the rest of them. It was a nice change ;)

Thanks for this awesome read! I can't wait to start your other story now :D

-Amanda

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your lovely reviews, but I'm really glad you enjoyed it and I hope that if you got to CINAS, you enjoyed that, too. :)

I've always kind of seen Gryffindors as more likely to pick fights than Slytherins, honestly - it seems to me like Slytherins use their brains and common sense more, where Gryffindors are a lot more likely to be overwhelmed by their Feelings. People who are overwhelmed by their feelings tend to pick more fights, in my experience. :P

Thank you so much for your lovely review! I'm really glad you liked it so much!


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Review #3, by ScarletEye158 Fourth and Fifth Year

3rd March 2013:
Yay, he's finally admitting to himself that he's attracted to her! I just feel bad for him because he's soo confused and conflicted about it lol. Liking someone/being attracted to someone should be a positive thing, Scorpius!

I love how at the beginning at some of the years you start with a memory of the summer. I almost forgot that he was on the train when you started with the Fifth Year and was immersed in the memory of him being at Albus' house and drooling over Rose.

You know, you are very good at staying true to your characters. I haven't seen 1 slip up with their personalities and I really love that. sometimes you find characters changing throughout stories to please the readers but I like that you still have Rose being a complete jerk to everyone (or Scorpius, I don't really know how she interacts with other people:P)

The way you slip in random books that Noah is reading makes me laugh, too. I can tell these are some of your favorites? :)

Your writing is so flawless and I never really find any mistakes. I'm excited but a little sad to read the next/last chapter. I've grown really fond of these characters! :O

Once again, great chapter!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Poor Scorpius - I felt bad for him, too! Liking someone should usually be a positive, but I guess we can't really blame Scorpius for feeling a little conflicted, given how Rose acts around him. (And she's definitely much worse around him - she can be pretty charming overall, though she does sometimes have the tact and social skills of an agoraphobic lobster.)

The books I have Noah read are definitely some of my favorites, haha.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!


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Review #4, by ScarletEye158 Second and Third Year

3rd March 2013:
I really love how you're making all of these scenes on the train. I've never read anything like this before. It's really interesting :D (and just so you know, I for some reason cannot right a train scene to save my life so you are making me incredibly jealous right now :P)

Hahah, I love all of these interactions with Rose and Scorpius. Obviously they aren't going to be friends any time soon, but I love that they pick fights with each other over stupid things. It really brings back some childhood memories :o

I also liked how you added in subtly what house everyone was in, especially without doing it in a 'telling' way. It was just casually brought up in conversation. What house is Noah in though? It's probably going to come up in the future chapters but I'm just a very impatient person ;P

I love the way you had the Malfoys kind of wary of sending Scorpius to the Potter's house at first. Obviously Draco should feel kind awkward about it. I'm just glad Harry was mature enough to see past everything that happened and assured him it was okay. I really can't see Harry holding a grudge for too long about stuff like that & I'm just happy you stuck to his character so well :)

Really good chapter, nice job! (:

-Amanda

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you like the train scenes! I honestly really struggled with them at first, because I was afraid that I'd write them too similar and they'd end up dragging. I'm glad that you feel like I succeeded in making them interesting and fun.

I'm also really glad that you liked the way I worked in everyone's House - I've never been a big fan of just telling readers what House characters are in instead of working it into a conversation, and I tried really hard to avoid that. Ditto Harry's grudge or lack thereof - I feel like in a lot of next-gen fics, the animosity between the trio and Draco is a little overstated. I doubt they've become best friends, but come on, they're probably not coming to blows every time they meet, you know?

Noah is a Slytherin. :)


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Review #5, by ScarletEye158 First Year

3rd March 2013:
This seems like it'll make a very interesting story :) I like the way you characterized everyone in here and stuck to their personalities so well. The fact that you were able to write first years so flawlessly makes me jealous... I find that age so hard to write! :P

I really like how you were able to keep me guessing but gave me enough information in this chapter to keep me satisfied. I'm really curious as to what house Rose and Al (along with Scorpius and Noah) will be sorted into and whether Scorpius and Rose will ever be friends.

I thought it was so cute when Albus said that he wanted to get to know new people and stay with Scorpius and Noah. Usually kids that age want to stick with familiarity and would've gone with their family but it shows that he's different and more independent.

I'm also really glad that you made Scorpius and Noah characters who really don't care where they're sorted or care about pure-blood nonsense. I really hate seeing Scorpius as a blood status freak and I hope he's able to be friends with Al and not let that stuff get in the way!

great first chapter! I'm excited to read about the other years :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked this opening chapter, especially Albus's streak of independence - for me, it's a very important part of his character, so I'm happy that it came through so strongly.

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #6, by WishfulMuggle Sixth Year

3rd March 2013:
I am really enjoying this Scorpius/Rose relationship...I can't wait for more updates to the sequal!! And I literally laughed out loud at the car being Astoria's fault...great note...Keep up the good writing!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I should be updating the sequel more regularly by June - life has been super stressful lately, and it's sucked away my energy from writing. I haven't forgotten about the story, though, don't worry. :)

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Review #7, by Elf on the TGS shelf Sixth Year

29th December 2012:
This has been such a fun little jaunt back through Rose and Scorpius world. It reminded me how much I really love Cinas.

I like how well you've aged everyone. They aren't the scared little first years, or the awkward third years. They still have the same amount of trials between them, different kinds now that Rose and Scorpius are building a relationship as opposed to hating each other, but those challenges have changed really nicely with their age.

I got really curious about the Malfoys through this. Whether or not they ever did have dinner with the Potters or Weasleys.. Although I do think they play a more prominent park in Wrinkles, right? I need to catch up with that now that you've gotten me all next gen feelsy.


His nervousness reminded me a lot of the way he was feeling before meeting the whole group at Hogsmeade during Cinas. I can't imagine a more intimidating family to have to try and get along with than the Weasley Potter family. I'm sure once they decide to like you, it would be awesome to be apart of their family, but up until that point.. it just seems down right frightening!

awesome chapter, darling!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! :) The Malfoys do play a bigger roll in Wrinkles, although I should definitely write a one-shot about them having dinner with the Potters. (They would not ever have dinner with the Weasleys... Ron isn't that highly evolved, haha.)

Thank you so much for the lovely review, and I'm glad you like my Rose/Scorpius so much. :)


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Review #8, by Elf on the TGS shelf Fourth and Fifth Year

29th December 2012:
I really liked getting a glimpse of Scorpius's thoughts pertaining to that summer when he really started 'seeing' Rose.

I have to say that James/Roxanne/Rose group really do feel like bullies sometimes, but I suppose I'll just have to trust that she was telling the truth about that person deserving getting jinxed. Or at least deserving it a little bit.

Scorpius seems so torn, it's absolutely adorable. It's like Rose is the cut you just keep picking at even though you know it hurts, you can't stop. Maybe because there was so much focus on the previous summer in the second section, but this chapter didn't feel nearly as repetitive as the last. And even the repetitive feeling wasn't bad at all, because I do find myself getting really excited to see the development for the next train ride. But yeah, this one was much easier to keep the two sections straight in my mind.

And the little remark to the dream! Hahaha poor guy. He really has it bad.

I know your probably getting so sick of hearing this, but I am just in love with the way you write next gen.

Author's Response: The person was mouthing off about James failing some tests at the end of his fourth year and worrying about his OWLs - whether or not that counts as deserving is your call. :P

I love that analogy - Rose is definitely the cut that Scorpius can't stop poking at!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!


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Review #9, by Elf on the TGS shelf Second and Third Year

29th December 2012:
Your Lily is seems so sweet/adorable! And I love the strained attitude between the Potters and Malfoys. I think it fits well that they'd be nothing but polite, but still not over friendly. I'd love to see that dinner actually happen :P

I think your doing such an awesome job with the boys' friendship. They all seem to compliment one another very well, and it seems very natural.

I think you could have lengthened the second section and made this two separate chapters, because both sections are kind of blurring in my head and I think they'd seem more clear if they continued the pattern of their own chapters.

Maybe adding more at the beginning of the third year train ride, like before they are on the train talking with some of the other students that aren't one of the three boys about what they did over the summer.. it would make it feel more new maybe if we learned about what they did through a conversation. Or maybe I'm just greedy and want more chapters :P

I still really love Rose, but considering I've read your other next gen's I new I would. I like how Scorpius can't quite explain why Rose bothers him *so* much.. it's really fits for a young teenage boy who has a crush but doesn't know it.

As always, your writing absolutely addicting m'dear!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm glad you like my Lily - I have a lot of fun with her. ... also, now I'm inspired to actually write that dinner. Hmm.

I know what you mean about the two blurring together. I was afraid of getting a bit too repetitive if I drew it out more, but I've split chapters before, so when I get the chance I'll look it over to see whether I can make it work.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!


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Review #10, by Elf on the TGS shelf First Year

28th December 2012:
As someone who has read Cinas, it was SO fun to read this first prequel installment!

You've done something that I feel so many writers struggle with - made James both arrogant, annoying, but appealing. I'm a big fan of the idea that he was quite a bit like the man he was named after. Not an exact copy, but similar. It feels really realistic to me that he'd want to know where his name came from, then of course hear stories about this grandfather, then want to be like him. Anyway,

I have a big pet peeve when people make James Potter I just seem like this absolutely unlikable jerk (it's mainly those Snape Lily shippers...hahaha) because someone really can be both arrogant and appealing at the same time. They don't have to be a total jerk or a total nice guy, but somewhere in between. You've fit that perfectly into this, and him and Roxanne's friendship is just something that I love about your next gen writings.

Scorpius is really... infectious.. I suppose. Just one of those people you feel like you want to be around because he seems like he's honest but not boring. I like that he wasn't aware of who Rose was or why he'd been pointed out, it shows that maybe Draco grew up enough to not talk too much about the Weasley's and how much he may detest them.

Then the line, 'are you really?' it just... it was SO Hermione and I find it rare for people to be able to *subtly* get traits of both Ron and Hermione in Rose... and you did that so well.That was just such a Hermione voice, but it was done in a realistic way. One of those, 'oh boy, you remind me of your mother' instances as opposed to feeling like I was just hit over the head with you reincarnating a Ron Hermione concoction. Am I making sense? Hmm.

This was an amazingly written and incredibly fun first installment! I have a big soft spot for the 'on the Hogwarts Express' chapters.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! :) I'm glad you like my James - I feel like his characterisation is probably one of the least unique of my next-gens, but like you, I love the idea that he'd be similar to James I (and Sirius, to some extent). Because I don't see James I as an unlikeable jerk, though, I don't see James II as one, either. :P (Though while we're on the subject, Snily shippers bother me when they talk about James as an unlikeable jerk - Lily fell for him for a reason!)

I'm really glad you liked the "Are you really?" line. I was afraid it would be a bit much, but at the same time, I did feel like that would be an instance where Rose would be a lot like her mother... because I do think that Rose is probably very similar to both her parents in a lot of ways.

Thank you for the lovely review. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer it.


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Review #11, by Xyla Sixth Year

7th December 2012:
I love this!!
Is there gonna be a seventh year train ride though?

Author's Response: Probably not, to be honest. I started to write one, but I think I've already covered all the bases, you know? I feel like writing about their seventh year would just be rehashing the same stuff.

Thank you for the review, and I'm so glad you liked it!


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Review #12, by Fawkes First Year

10th November 2012:
Loved the Narnia reference! And I like the story! I I'm reading your fanfic Curiosity Is Not a Sin and I couldn't stop myself from reading this one first : )

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! :) I'm glad you like it, and I hope you like Curiosity just as much!

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Review #13, by coolsilver Second and Third Year

28th September 2012:
Okay- just had to do a shout out for Sabriel! :)
Love this so far!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you like it, too! I'm actually considering a Sabriel crossover at some point - I love those books so much.

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Review #14, by Jamilynn Yem Sixth Year

18th August 2012:
Hihi! I read CINAS before I read this..You're really really good! Please write more!! I like Sorpious and Rose love story ones! Please focus on that! Yeah you!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! :) I just published the sequel to CINAS - it's called 'The Wrinkles in the Road.' It's another Scorpius/Rose, set several years after CINAS, and if you check it out, I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #15, by Allison Sixth Year

18th August 2012:
I've been hoping that this story would be update sometime soon! How exciting to get to see Rose and Scorpius nearly a year into their relationship! I really, really enjoy seeing these events from Scorpius's perspective. We know from the other story how Rose feels about everything, and this story really fills in the gaps that arise from my curiosity. I just love knowing as much about characters as I can. I appreciate that about your writing, that you have such well developed characters and plots.

I was interesting and fun to see Scorpius (and Noah) interacting with Rose's family without her there. It seems like they've come quite a long ways from "Curiosity."

Ha ha, the inclusion of the "things I want to do before I die" lists made me laugh. That seems just like the sort of thing James and Rose would do!

Wonderful chapter! Will the seventh year chapter be posted sometime around when the sequel is posted?

Author's Response: Hey! I'm glad you liked this chapter - it was a lot of fun to write. Poor Noah, haha.

I'm actually not totally sure I'm going to post the chapter about their seventh year - I have it partially written, but I've had a hard time moving more than a few hundred words into it because I feel like the changes in their dynamic have already been covered. Yeah, it changes some in between 6th and 7th year, but not all that much in comparison. It kind of just feels like I'm rehashing the same thing again. I've marked it as completed for the moment, but maybe inspiration will hit me again. :)

Thank you so much for your review!


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Review #16, by countrymusicfanatic Sixth Year

13th August 2012:
I've loved this story so far! Is there going to be one for seventh year too? Either way, this was awesome, one of my favorite Rose/Scorpius short stories.

Author's Response: I'm not sure if there's going to be one for seventh year - I've marked it completed for now, but I may add in their seventh year as well. I've got some of it written, but I've never really been able to make it all work together in the way I want.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #17, by relic Sixth Year

10th August 2012:
:D nice one! simple and didn't have all the little details of their whole year...it was different! (:
-Relic

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I'm glad you like it! :)

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Review #18, by medeia_drake Fourth and Fifth Year

7th June 2012:
THG! & HP? Oh you are a genius :P

Author's Response: Haha, thanks! Gotta love THG!

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Review #19, by medeia_drake Second and Third Year

7th June 2012:
Aww - Draco, Harry, & Ginny are adorable, being all grown-up :P

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the way I've characterised them as adults! :) Thank you for the review!

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Review #20, by HiddenFace First Year

20th May 2012:
Thumbs up to the Narnia books - I read ALL of them because they're awesome! Really great start, I love how you've introduced everyone, well done,
HiddenFace x

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I love them, too - I totally looked in closets and wardrobes for Narnia as a kid. :P

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Review #21, by youknowwho013 Second and Third Year

19th May 2012:
I love the book Sabriel! :-) and I like the story so far.
-Alex

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I do, too. :)

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Review #22, by Hope's Mom Fourth and Fifth Year

19th May 2012:
Poor Scorpius! While I find his growing attraction to Rose funny and ironic it is clear that it is also highly uncomfortable for him. Fortunately for both he and Rose he doesn't do a good job of denying his attraction to her. Great glimpse into what Scorpius' and Rose's interactions were like before "Curiousity". It also makes it easier to understand Rose's discomfort with her previous knowledge of Scorpius in the most recent chapter of "Curiousity". Thank you for adding in the details.

Author's Response: I'm glad that you feel like this really supplements 'Curiosity' in terms of understanding their relationship prior to it, as well as his feelings for her - that's exactly what I wanted. :) I really did feel like emphasising just how much he did really like her was important - while her feelings may have started at the beginning of their fifth year, he's really been grappling with them for much longer. (Luckily for her... and luckily for him, she finds that she actually IS attracted to him, not just a little curious.)

Thank you for another lovely review!


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Review #23, by Hope's Mom Second and Third Year

19th May 2012:
Rose just gets worse and worse.Scorpius would be better off ignoring her like Noah suggested but it doesn't seem possible. The friendship between the boys is really admirable. Good chapter!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the friendship! I love Al, Scorpius, and Noah's friendship - it's a lot of fun to write. I also have to admit that I get a kick out of making two of Al's closest friends Slytherins, but unlike most people who do that, he wasn't Sorted into Slytherin himself and in fact has no Slytherin bone in his entire body. :P

Thank you for the review! :)


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Review #24, by Hope's Mom First Year

19th May 2012:
Rose, James and Roxanne aren't very nice here, are they? They are young, thoughtless and immature. Al is great but I didn't expect anything else from Albus Severus. Great first chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) And yeah, James and Roxanne... well, I think Al says in best early on in CINAS: they're fundamentally good people, but. :P

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Review #25, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Fourth and Fifth Year

19th May 2012:
He had no idea why he found Rose Weasley attractive.

^ Hormones. Hormones. Hormones.

Really disliked young Rose but adored Scorpius and Noah. I think I asked you this before but I don't remember the answer so I'm going to bug you with the question again. When Curiosity ends will you write a sequel focusing on the two (since in your 'world' they're still together even when Lily is almost done with Hogwarts -- because they're still only dating in Albatross, right?) or would you write some one-shots focusing on special/interesting moments in their relationship like you do with Teddy/Vic? (= Just wondering!

Author's Response: They are indeed together when Lily is almost done with Hogwarts... right now I'm thinking that when I finish up Cinas I might write a short story about them in the seventh year grappling with some of the issues they face as a couple, because Scorpius does become a Healer and understandably isn't wild about the idea of having to see his girlfriend wheeled in injured or worse. I'm not going to tell you what they decide there, though clearly whatever their decision they're dating again at this point.

In fact, by the end of The Albatross they might be more than just going out... if you know what I mean. ;)

So the short answer is yes, I'll likely write a short story sequel, and then probably some one- or two- shots when the inspiration hits me. :) They're really so much fun to write.


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