Hey! Its Perelandra from the forums with your review! Better late than never, no? :)
Alright, since this is the first and only chapter so far I don't have much to say.
Your prelude was fantastic. I mean it. I love the last line "Is it true, that ignorance is bliss? Or is it mere stupidity?" Because its true since it got me thinking.
Your grammar is fine for me since I did not spot any grave mistakes if no mistakes at all. In fact, this is, for me, fantastically written. You have a great balance between the dialogue and description. I get annoyed easily when people over describe a table or a door. You keep changing points of view though, you start with Lily, then move to another character and then another. You have no transition between them. But its your story! :)
Plot wise, well, again we're still at the very beginning but I like the idea of you writing about the struggle the marauders went through in the war and at Hogwarts.
Anyway, that's all I have to say! If and when you update, re-request if you want!
--PerelandraAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review!
I'm glad you didn't spot anything glaringly wrong with the story so far--and I am also very happy you liked the last line in the prelude! It was my favorite line to type out :)
I was a bit worried about the bouncing back and forth between perspectives--I'll work on smoothing the transition between them. So thanks for pointing that out.
Thanks again! Report Review
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