This was lovely! I really enjoyed reading this but I agree, it could definitely use more. I'm not saying it was bad because it absolutely wasn't, I just want to know more!
I see that it was for the One-Shot challenge so there's only so much that can be written, but if you were open to it, it would be awesome to expand this into a longer story because it's a pretty cool idea and your writing is great.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm definately open to expanding and am currently working on the background info and working out kinks in the possible plot line i have brewing so it's quite likely you'll see an expansion sometime soon! Report Review
Hey there, it's DarkRose from the forums, here with the review that you get for participating in the challenge. :D
I think you did a very good job with the prompt, so well done! I liked the name you picked for your OC and the plot idea was good.
The problem that I have with the story is that we don't have enough background to understand why Arianna would actually try to KILL herself because Scorpius "stopped loving her." Also, we don't know why he left her. And we don't know how they got engaged (or how old they are), or any of that. You know? It's tough to get attached to a story with so many holes in the plot.
I think you had a good idea to start with, though, and it was executed well enough that it made sense. Thank you so much for participating in the challenge! As it nears the end of all of this, I'll let you know the winners in the challenge thread.
--EmilyAuthor's Response: i had fun with this challenge, it was a strange mix which i loved experimenting with and i totally get what you mean about the plot holes, i'm actually writing a companion fic about all the background and everything so watch out for that.
thanks for the review (even if you had to) :) Report Review
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