Hey! I just figured it be nice to have a review over here as well and not just on the podcast :).
I loved the story and I really like the intake on Stanley's view on being in Azkaban. I really love how innocent and sad he is when he lets them know that he was just talking like a bragging drunk in the pub to impress people, but he still got in trouble. Honestly, with the ending the way it is, it makes me feel a little better than the actual book did. I remember reading that he was put into Azkaban for Death Eater related things, and that Harry didn't believe it until he saw him later, obviously imperiused (I'm 100% I spelled that wrong, sorry). It lets me know how it happened in a way that I'm willing to accept it. I've always liked Stanley in an oddball sort of way.
You did a lovely job (there I go throwing that word around again) and I thoroughly enjoyed the story. I hope that maybe someday you do decide to do other insider stories of Azkaban because you do a wonderful job at describing feelings and imagery. I definitely wouldn't mind seeing an insider view of the big guy who I think is Greyback just because he seems to be in some max security down there. That's just what I imagine anyway.
Amazing job! Thank you for sharing this story with us!Author's Response: That seems to be everyone's question, 'who is the big guy'. The answer is that I honestly don't remember who he is. There was a character, not Greyback, that I had him pegged for, but I don't remember who he was. He had giant blood in him and that's all that I remember about him.
I actually have another story/a second chapter? (I don't know which it will end up being) partial written where it follows Umbridge's stay in Azkaban. I hope to continue this but I've never found a character that I like as much as Stan to manipulate while in Azkaban. Thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad that you liked it! Report Review
This story was wonderfully insightful into Stan's mindset in Azkaban. I love how you showed the descent in to madness and the counting was a nice touch to the whole thing. I know it doesn't matter but the big guy has me intrigued. Anyway, the smallest little thing I notice was that you ended with Stan calling Bellatrix by Ms but shouldn't it be Mrs since she is married to Rodolphus? Just a thought!
Megthechef43 aka MegAuthor's Response: This story is my baby lol. I love it so much. I actually went with Ms because it seemed wrong for Stan to say Mrs. It's silly but the truth. There's a few flaws in this story though that have to do with cannon, but I like it. Thank you for stopping to review it! Always great to hear for people! Report Review
Excellent stuff. Loved it. Want more of the insanity. Apart from the overwhelming silence bit I didn't notice any spelling or grammer mistakes.
I love the way he slowly but steadily goes bonkers. I want to see more of it, expand this please, need to see each and every fine detail of his steady drop into the dark recesses of his troubled mind.
I WAS RIGHT! It was Bellatrix. I love her, she is such a great sadistic character. I'd love to see a chapter on her. I think she'd actually somewhat delight in her incarceration. I'm sure the depression would hit her too, but she strikes me as the type to be able to rise above that.
Who was the scary man? And the others in the food hall. I need more details. Also loved how the moss tried to kill him. Actually how everything in his cell is trying to kill him. He really has lost it in there.
Slipped that bit in the end there to enforce your point did you? Well I'll concede him being hoodwinked at that point. Don't want you mad at me again.
This has a unique feel to it, it's so great. The stepped state of mind. Time jumping between names. So well executed. Not sure how you are planning to work Umbridge but if it is anything like this I'm going to love it.
TyrannicFeenixAuthor's Response: I'm really glad that you enjoyed this. It is my baby and while I am working on Umbridge's stay, I'm not sure that I can beat this chapter but I'm certainly going to try! I felt that Bella needed to be in the story.
I may develop stories for the other characters that remained un-named, but at this point I'm not going to promise anything because in all honesty I don't even know who they are.
It's cannon. Deal with it, you can't argue with it. I'm not sure what you are talking about with the time jumping between names, other than that's how I keep track of time throughout the story was when his name was said? I think that's what your talking about, but I'm honestly not sure.
Again thank you so much for the review and I'm so happy that you liked it and gave me some input!
What the... Usually I'm a faster reader than I read this but... I got into this so much and I had to read every line. This was amazing! I loved how he counted every time his name was mentioned, and his descent into insanity was perfect. Screaming fire! and thinking the moss was attacking him. It was perfect. It... I loved this story. Like I have no idea what else to say. Everything was awesome!!!
Mike.Author's Response: Thank you Mike! I'm glad that you liked it. This might *MIGHT* turn into a series of different people's stay at Azkaban. I'm glad you stopped by! Report Review
Oh, Kay Kay! It's been too long! I keep missing you on skype! We have to catch up soon! But I'll get right into your review as requested! I am so dreadfully sorry it took me ages to get around to this. With work and the House Cup going on, my review thread sort of got overlooked the past few weeks! So I'm really sorry about that, but I'm here now! :D
Ah! And what a unique story!! You were always great with writing these fabulous, unique pieces that no one would ever think of! And you've amazed me yet again! This was absolutely brilliant.
I love how it's from Stan's point of view, and the insight into Azkaban is just fabulous. You pulled me in with these awesome descriptions. I also think you kept him very in character, even with the Azkaban crazyness getting under his skin. His comment about being a drunk duck and all that. I thought it was very good, and it made it very personal. I could picture that Stanley Shunpike from the Knight's Bus again.
Ah and then his name with the counts. That was eerie and sad, and it really got to me. This was such an emotional piece, and I felt terrible for him!
Wow, just in general, this was amazing! Absolutely amazing, and I don't know what else to say other than that. :P Good job, hun! I'm so glad you requested and we better catch up soon! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I've missed you tons and we totally need to catch up! I'm glad that you liked it. I was worried about that specific part of the story where he said 'drunk duck' because of how it flowed. I'm so glad that you could stop by! We'll talk soon! Promise!
-KayKay Report Review
Great story. I like the alternative plot, and it has got a very good pace to it. I like your writhing style a lot :) Thanks alot for sharing!
Take careAuthor's Response: I'm glad that you like it. That was something that I was worried about being too fast or too slow so I'm glad that you mentioned it. Thank you for the wonderful review!
-Kalkay Report Review
Cool! Loved it! It's really interesting to hear poor old Stans side of the story. And to get a picture of the inside of Azkaban? Awesome!Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you on the wonderful review you've given me. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. Thanks again.
-Kalkay Report Review
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!
This was an amazing story. I think that it had all of the strengths of the first chapter of Kissed By Butterflies, and because the subject material made the story less ambiguous, it lacked most of the weaknesses.
Before I get into the real essence of the story, I want to point out a few mechanical things, because I'm a bit obsessed with mechanics.
In the first paragraph, you say, "as it was already a mess" - what is "it"? I assume that you mean the room, but I think that you should say that, because while I can figure out what you probably mean, it's less smooth.
In the second paragraph, it should be that the prisoners aren't watched closely enough, not close enough.
In the fourth paragraph, I felt like you had a bit too many adjectives describing the room. The sentence "Little did I know" was a bit vague and confusing - where would all his fears come to life? In the place he felt safest? On my second read I understood what you were talking about, but on my first I was just confused.
For the paragraph starting, "I'd been a drinking drunk duck," I wish that you'd slowed down a little. If he shouted for hours, I wanted to see more of an emotional response and a fuller description. I noticed in this that you're amazing at describing actions and amazing at describing emotions, but when you have to combine the two it sometimes feels a bit rushed. Just something to think about. :)
Okay, those few things aside - this was done perfectly. This sort of fic has the potential to come off as overdone and exaggerated, but you made it feel quite realistic through both your descriptions and your characterization.
You description of Azkaban felt real. I have read more in-depth descriptions, but I don't think that you needed more - you included a perfect amount of detail for the story that you are telling. You also melded it beautifully with Stan's characterization - his not remembering certain things early on, the early description of him starting to lose his mind (especially your reference to the spider and the water) was perfect. I felt like I was watching him lose it and become deranged, which is perfect. (Depressing, but perfect.)
This is an amazing story. I love it.Author's Response: Thank you so much for another lovely review. I'm happy that you brought up all those mechanics because it's not one of my strong points.
I've found/fixed most of those but just a heads up you will be getting another PM from me. :D
I'm glad that you enjoyed it and thank you again for taking the time to read this and review it for me!
-kalkay Report Review
Hi there, I'm here with your request :)
This was one of the most harrowing pieces I've ever read. You portrayed the decline of Stan's sanity so well, I could just feel myself going mad along with him as the counts increased and the paranoia took over.
At the beginning, you had him worried and practical, like with the moss pillow, but slowly we could see how he was getting more paranoid and then hallucinating and believing his dreams real. The way that you started lots of the end paragraphs off with the counts was brilliant because it really reinforced how it was his only thing keeping him knowing the time and where he was, but it eventually turned to a timeline of insanity.
Your ending was so climatic too! The way Stan had gone so mad and believed absolutely everything to be killing him... and then he went down to the room, able to list when things had disappeared, and the pain fell away. I love how you say how he was drawn to this off-putting woman, and he was perfectly in sync with her thoughts at the end - it was just so horrifying and awful.
Your description all through this piece was just absolutely amazing. It really locked me in Azkaban along wit Stan at the start, and the way you slowly showed how he noticed different details and felt the terror at the unreal frights really put emphasis on how mad he was going. Stan's constant comparisons to bus life at first really brought it home how out-of-place he felt at first, then when he started being able to predict the stairs, it was really slamming it home just how trapped he was and how low he'd come.
This was just amazing. Everything about Stan's degeneration here is just brilliant - I can really feel so much like I'm him, and it is completely haunting. I love it, 10/10.
~TGKAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm so happy to hear that you felt like you were going mad! er...well I mean that in the best possible way. I'm happy to hear that you truly felt like you were there with him.
Thank you for taking your time to read this and review it for me!
-kalkay Report Review
Oh no!! Poor Stan. I wonder if he survived the war? This fic is also rather sad. Its really well written though. I like the moss. Its really quite clever. And that big room which ends up with no furniture in. This fic was really well written!! I really liked it :DAuthor's Response: It's assumed that he did though not actually stated anywhere (just so you know). The moss is one of my favorite things about this story so I'm glad that someone else likes it to! Emma you are wonderfully sweet. Thank you so much for the review and the kind words about my writing. :D love ya! Report Review
Hey-a!I'm here with your requested review!
I loved the title of this story.:)
First all I would like to say that the description of Stan feelings were good..You could have surely done in a better way!
I liked the way you mentioned "Count "..It was pretty Good!Keep it Up!
I liked few sentence like "Does someone welcome you?"=)) , " I remember my arm being pulled as I was 'escorted’ out of my home",etc:D
Your ending was pretty different but still acceptable !
Way to go...Write more!You can get better with every story:)
8.5/10Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. You gave me some things to think about! :) Thanks again. Report Review
Wow that was amazing!! It was really dark and twisted in a good way. I look forward to reading more of your work!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and hope that you will find more of my stuff that you like. Report Review
Wow, that was creepy! You did a really good job capturing what it was like for Stan, living in Azkaban, his mind gradually slipping away. It was interesting the way you described Azkaban, and the part where Stan becomes gradually more and more paranoid and crazy was really good.
P.S. Can you review my story The Chimera Club? If you don't want to, it's fine, but Iwould really appreciate it.Author's Response: Thank you so much! This story really is my baby and took a lot out of me. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I'm working my way through some stories currently but would be more then willing to take a look once I finish up what I already have to read. Report Review
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