Iím sorry this came so late, I have been busy but here I am giving out prizes to review your story.
Ah! The beloved Oliver Wood with a blonde, my cousin writes Oliver Wood for a living so Iíve been hearing about this guy and his blonde girlfriend.
There must be so non mentioned head cannon that Oliver goes for blondes.
Iím getting off track your story was very Oliver-ish, meaning
the personality of Oliver was spot on. I always like your writing though.
I mean when I clicked your page I was like oh yeah this girl wrote Just say Yes, and I liked that story.
Youíre a good writerÖexcellent when writing Harry and Ginny.
No, Iím teasing youíre a excellent writer for all your stories
I just love Harry and Ginny. (Pester, pester, Iím pestering you to write more.)
My total thoughts on this: Youíre a great writer and this one-shot shows it!
LizzieAuthor's Response: No don't worry, bet your just glad I don't have that many stories :P
Really? I love a good Oliver Wood story he's so under used it's upsetting! It's weird that I just can't see him with a brunette, no idea why.
Thanks, I will try to write more Harry/Ginny! Really, I'll try! I just have to wait until my muse comes up with something. That or you can give me another situation to put them in :P
Holli Report Review
Nice one-shot. I really like the idea behind the story. (The great ideas that come to us while doing housework!) :) Here are my impressions of the characters, as you asked.
Oliver Wood seems in awe of Ramona from the second he meets her. He's extremely kind and he's brave enough to be fighting in the Battle at Hogwarts. I was surprised that he never asked when he woke up whether they had won the battle. I feel like I missed some of his post-battle tension/relief. Overall, Oliver is a very nice character who is canon and in character!
Ramona seems very attractive, kind, smart, and brave. Her eyes are the color of the ocean, and she's committed to becoming a healer. In battle, she saves Oliver from Death Eaters, and then proceeds to keep fighting after she's brought him to safety. This shows that she's not only brave, but proficient enough in battling to take down Death Eaters without being injured. She sounds to me like a girl I could really love to friends with. Also, she seems great for Oliver because she doesn't know a lot about Quidditch, so she sees him for him, rather than for his fame. These traits that I saw, for me, make Ramona a very good person.
But sometimes, I feel, as the reader, that I prefer to read about characters who are compelling. For me, the most compelling parts of a character aren't his/her stunning eyes/hair or his/her abilities but his/her weaknesses - the parts of a character that make it so I can relate to him/her. I feel like, as a reader, I didn't connect with Ramona as much because I didn't find myself in her, and I didn't see past the surface good-looks. But this is completely a matter of opinion/preference. If you intended Ramona to come off this way for readers like me, then this second bit on what I think of Ramona is just me imposing my opinion. :)
I thought you wrote this story extremely well. Everything flows nicely, the grammar is perfect, and it feels a bit like a fairy tale, at times. This was an enjoyable read. Great job!
AetherAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the review and your help! In my origional plan for this I had all Ramonas flaws written down but then when it came to putting them into the story I really struggled with Olivers thoughts on these flaws so I ended up leaving them. I'll probably go back and try and at least put a couple in.
Logamind Report Review
This story is very charming. I love the whole plot and idea that you have behind it. Ramona seems like a good character and I could definitely picture her with someone like Oliver Wood for some reason, even though she is really nothing like him. As for the characterization, I think that you managed to portray a very accurate Oliver Wood. You managed to make him a Gryffindor, very mature, but still obsessed with Quidditch. He is exactly how I pictured him. A few things you could work on is the story flow. It's a bit choppy in some parts and a few events seem to happen at a bit of a rushed pace. I also think that you should work a bit more on descriptions, but you still managed to put a lot of endearing qualities in your story. It's very cute and romantic and it made me happy. It's definitely an enjoyable post-war read, and it's not cliche either. I praise you for your originality. Well done :DAuthor's Response: Thanks for doing the request! Sorry I've took a bit to reply was on holiday! The flow of the story is something I'm trying to work on because I know it's one of my weaker points. Hopefully I can work on it! This story really has become my favourite thing I've written so I'm trying to make it as good as I can!
I'm glad you think the characterisation is all working and oliver is portrayed acuratly I didn't really know if I was doing him justice when I first began writing it!
Thanks a bunch for reviewing and I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
Logamind Report Review
What a lovely little piece! Its so weird and cool that something so potentially special could come out of that battle. It also reminded me that the battle wasnt just about harry and the rest. I especially liked the mention of ernie. It reminded me of how much the win would mean for everyone else.
Also, i really liked how oliver didnt even recognise ramona - he really was into quidditch wasnt he? :L
I dont know whether this will end in friendship or something more (im thinking the something more!) but thats what so great about this - it could be either.
Also, it leaves you open for a sequal ;)
Well done!Author's Response: Thank you :D I know with so many deaths a little romance was needed in my opinion anyway!
Very! I always loved Oliver and his obbsession with the sport in the books! He was one of my favourite characters!
Hopefully at one point! I'd love to do a sequal to this in the future.
Thanks for the lovely review! You're a star!
Logamind Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review!
This was a very interesting concept and I'm glad you chose to pair Oliver with someone who wasn't quidditch-obsessed. Hopefully they will balance each other out when they get together.
Ramona Lowe seems like an interesting character- she went to fight at Hogwarts even though she didn't have too and saved Oliver. I think you've done a good job of expanding what we know about her through her healing of Oliver and then his searching through his yearbook. A healer would definitely be a good job for her from what we know.
I noticed a few sentences that I think would be best broken into shorter sentences. It would help the flow of the story and keep it from being a run-on sentence.
As well, when I first read that Oliver closed his eyes when he was attacked by a Death Eater I was puzzled- why would he close his eyes when he was about to die? Then you elaborated on it and I understood. Oliver had accepted that he would die and so he just wanted to reflect on his life. However, I thought you tried to include too many thoughts in that short moment he had his eyes closed. I think it would be more realistic if you focus on one specific thought (say, his wish for a family) and try to emphasize it. It would help to make us feel more for Oliver.
Your portrayal of the battle and its consequences were very well done. Of course there would be the wounded and the dead after a battle and it was very realistic for Oliver to realize it. Seeing it would make it hard to celebrate their win and I'm glad Oliver showed that. However, you mentioned that Oliver had focused on her throughout the entire battle but it seemed like he had only met her that moment when she saved his life. Why would he have focused on her before? Why did she attract his attention throughout the battle? I could just have read it wrong though.
Good characterization of Oliver- he would be quidditch-obsessed in HogwartsAuthor's Response: Thanks :)
The advice really helped! Hopefully I can fix some of the things in the next edit! Olivers thouht's wee origianally just all quidditch based at that point, but I wanted him too seem like he had grown up a little so just threw the family part in last minute!
About the focusing on Ramona, it's just at that point he can only concentrate on her. I'll probably have left a word out or something to show that, so i'll look over that!
Thanks again for reviewing. You've really helped me!
Logamind Report Review
This was really great! It was so well written with a really captivating plot. Please tell me there's a sequel? I'd love to read more about Oliver and Ramona, both of their characterizations was incredible.
I basically just loved the piece, I really like your writing style and everything flowed together beautifully. I liked that we had a little bit of who they were here, it was nice to know a little bit about them and what they did, I'd really like to read more on Daisy. Please write more of this? Hahaah!
The only thing I could point out really are very few grammar and spelling mistakes, nothing that is noticeable and can't be fixed with a thorough read.
I'll definitely be back to read more of your work, you're a very talented writer!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Honestly to know that you've enjoyed it just makes me smile.
YAY! The fact you're even thinking about reading the sequel if I ever actually wrote one is brilliant. Hopefully I will, the past week since I wrote this the characters have been floating around in my head unwilling to leave so maybe they'll give me an idea.
I know, my inability to proof read before I submit is truly awful! I do it with nearly everything I do. I've already put the edited version in for submission so hopefully the error free version will be up soon!
Thanks again for reviewing and i'm so glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
For the short time that the battle was described in this it was like readng something from JK :D Well done in your descriptions. I can see and feel when Oliver is hurting, especially the left side of him ^_^ Poor thing.
Your last line was really coocky. I was like uhuh. I bet you will Oliver I bet You Will. lol
You have a really nice piece here, I wouldn't say it was too short or too long, I think the Length is just right. I personally don't like Oliver all that much, only the accent ^_^ But you did a really good job with his personality and characteristics which I think is great :)
All in all, if you ever want another review from me feel free to post in my review thread when I have a spot available ^_^ x I think I would like to read more of your stuff :D
~Karni. xxAuthor's Response: WOW! I've never been told something I write was like JK before, i'm really flattered that you think even a snippet of the story was in that region because I certainly don't :P you should see the grin on my face right now!
In real life the actor who played him used to live on the net street from me so i've always had this weird kind of fasination with him, the momnt I had a little plunnie with him I HAD to write it!
Thanks I think I definitely will and thanks again for reviewing totally made my birthday haha!!! Report Review
Hello there! I'm here with your review as requested. :)
And I'm so glad you did! I enjoyed this piece so much. It was wonderful.
It was touching and so clever. I love that you made Oliver the main character. I don't read about him too often, so it's always nice to come across a good story with him as the main character.
Ramona seems like a great girl. I really liked her. You had an excellent characterization of her. She seemed real and down to earth, and I can definitely see her as the type of girl that Oliver would fall in love with.
I loved the whole set up with their relationship as well. How she saved him in the battle and it all went from there. That was so clever and so creative. That scene was touching and moving. I enjoyed it so much and thought it was really well done. I also like that you made Oliver go and fight in the war in the first place. I actually don't know if he did or not in the book, but I would like to think that he did. And I'm glad you included that!
Their relationship developed wonderfully from there, and the whole symbolism of her being a guardian was just precious. So touching. :)
I really don't have much CC at all. Yes, there were the grammar mistakes you mentioned. Most of them were missing commas and etc., but I know you are working on that. So that's wonderful. But the characters, plot, and flow themselves were all brilliant. As were your descriptions. especially when Olver had been saved. That was perfectly done. My only bit of CC is this - remember that all charms, spells, incantations, etc. are italicized. ;)
This was clever and wonderful. I enjoyed it so much! Thank you for requesting! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! This one shot has been my baby lately and too know you really liked it makes me so happy!
Yea he was in the battle, it was only one line or something though,he carried the body of Colin Creevey with Neville I think it was.
Italics - I totally forgot about that, will put them in the edit.
Thanks for doing the review for me, honestly to know you think it's a good bit of work is just brilliant! And thanks for going into detail I really do appreciate it so much. Report Review
Awww, that's so cute! I absolutely loved it! There were a few grammar and spelling mistakes but nothing major. I usually don't read one-shots, but I'm so glad that I read this. Anyways it was amazing and you're a superb writer!Author's Response: Aww thank you so much! You don't understand how much you've made my day!
I always forget to proof read one last time before I submit, i'm so terrible for it! I'm just about to put the edited copy to the que!
So glad you enjoyed it, makes me happy!!!
Logamind Report Review
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