1,102 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Toni Epilogue

27th April 2016:
I have just finished this story, with tears running down my face. It is a beautiful story and I am glad Harry and Esme didn't get together. Always Harry and Ginny for me. Wonderful writing. Keep it up. Cannot wait until your next one.

Author's Response: I'm very happy that you enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #2, by dumbledore_wannabe Epilogue

8th April 2016:
I found this story only a week or two ago and have been reading like crazy. I would probably be fired if they knew how much time I've spent reading it at work because I simply had to find out what happened next. This story is absolutely amazing. And the last part of the last chapter - I was absolutely sobbing and smiling at the same time. What a wonderful and entirely perfect conclusion to a masterful story. THANK YOU.

Author's Response: Hi, there.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the story. I do hope it doesn't hurt your career in any way. ;) Thank you so much for letting me know that you liked it. It really means a lot.

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Review #3, by dumbledore_wannabe Those Who Don’t Learn From History

30th March 2016:
Dennis' lesson. Brilliant.

Author's Response: Nobody understands Dementors until they've felt the cold. Or something like that. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #4, by dumbledore_wannabe Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

30th March 2016:
Thank you for that author's note! It was making me crazy trying to remember where I had read about genie glass... Even though I hate thinking of Ginny being gone, I'm enjoying this story, very different!

Author's Response: Hi!

I always love to give a shout-out to the stories that helped to inspire this one.

Not having Ginny be part of this story was the hardest decision I made. I hope you'll like the place that decision ultimately led to.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #5, by StarFeather The Injuries We Can’t See

28th March 2016:
Hi, Dan! This chapter is also amazing! My son came back to listen to my translation ( we read the first half of this chapter last week but he went to bed in the middle.), so I read all for him to the end.

We got so excited at the fight scene in front of the gate at Hogwarts and chuckled at each movement and thoughts of Ron. My son told me that the scene of the sports bar, the conversation with the Muggle was interesting, too.

It's quite interesting to read the changes in Percy's mind. And the descriptions about the process Hermnione tried to stand up again is marvelous, too.

There were many spots I put my heart to read out aloud like an actor when I translated them to my son, I mean very moving scenes:

“You’re not listening, Ron,” Percy snapped. “I have spent years trying to forget everything that happened that night. I’m not going to dredge it all up just because you and Harry have some half-baked theory about the New Blood Order killing Ginny.”

He felt slender fingers running through his hair, and shifted his gaze slightly to the side. He could make out a blurry image of bright auburn hair. He sighed contentedly, feeling as though some terrible thing that he couldn’t quite recall had turned out to be all in his head.

“Daddy, are you awake?” Lily’s voice sounded slightly muffled, as though his head was inside a barrel. As soon as he realized who she wasn’t, the terrible thing was back, like a great weight on his aching chest. He must have let a frown cross his face.

“Including you!” she snapped. Harry couldn’t see his daughter’s eyes, but he was sure that they were flashing with anger exactly like her mother’s. After several seconds, he felt the weight of her shoulders and head on his chest. He stroked her hair with his uninjured hand and felt her body shudder slightly. “Daddy,” she whispered, “we’ve already lost Mum. I don’t want to lose you, too.”

Her plea pierced his heart. He lay there for a long moment, considering the unbalanced mess his life had become. As he comforted his baby daughter, he silently cursed the part of himself that wanted nothing more than to let it all go and be with Ginny again. It was only too easy to foresee a moment of weakness when that part would lead him to the exact decision she feared.

“I’ll try, pumpkin,” he whispered. “I’ll try.”

Thank you for great story, again. We'll be back.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny! Sorry to take so long to respond. To be honest, I've been avoiding logging on for the past week or so. Too much of a reminder of what's coming. But it's definitely time to re-engage and stop moping about it.

There were a lot of emotional scenes in this chapter. All of the characters are grappling with difficult situations and personal challenges. Hermione is struggling mightily to come to terms with her paralysis, but something is holding her back. Percy is trying to put the past behind him. Harry's tortured soul can't seem to let go of Ginny.

I'm really glad that you and your son are enjoying it! Thanks so much for letting me know.

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Review #6, by StarFeather Dark and Angry Souls

13th March 2016:
Hi, Dan. I'd like to say thank you that you created this story. Today I translated this chapter to my son and he liked it very much. He told me that he didn't notice the time passed while I translated this chapter into my mother toungue. As he said, your story has deep colors, how can I say, I don't know how to tell you our excitement.

Each scene is marvelous: Dumbledore of the portrait told his former students about the dark magic book. Hermione's description with help from Susan, Terry and Ernie, Ron's funny and difficult situation at the muggle computer and Harry's struggle remembering his wife and the question why Octavia was holding Ginny's wand and why she couldn't survive. Everything is super.

I'm afraid Octavia might be confunded or imperiused by the Lady to kill Ginny.

I'll be back again with my son's review in the next chapter.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny!

I feel terrible for not answering this sooner. Time keeps running away on me.

I'm very, very flattered that you think the story is worth translating for your son to read. It's an honor.

A lot of plot points come out in this chapter, things that will play a big role later on. Overall, it's still one of my favorites.

Octavia was neither confunded nor cursed. She was merely a curious toddler doing what curious toddlers do. Suffice it to say that what Octavia did changed Lady Tenabra's plans somewhat, but not in a way that was at all upsetting to her.

I look forward to seeing what your son thinks of the rest of it. Thank you to both of you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #7, by Bluewolf80 Epilogue

13th February 2016:
I read this for the first time maybe a year ago. I just finished it again and I NEVER re-read fanfics! This one is worth it though. It is so well crafted that when I am reading it I am reminded of a master potter sitting at his wheel sculpting, molding, with clay that is gradually taking shape into a beautiful masterpiece.

Even on my second go round I still had trouble keeping all the grandchildren straight. I can understand why Harrry would use the tapestry to "cheat"! If I wasn't such a PotterHead and already knew all of them, it would be even harder. I'll have to go back and read 'Evolution' and get caught up. I'm so glad that you did not just make up names but used the canon ones.

I think that my favorite thing was the way that you included the character of Death. There were so many references to the Deathly Hallows story. Like the cloak and meeting as old friends. Loved it! I truly enjoyed the way you weaved that into your story.

I really think this is one of the best fan fictions out there. I hope to read more of your work soon. Keep writing! I'm sure that you will be successful.

Author's Response: Hello, again!

First off, thank you for leaving such a detailed, thoughtful review. It is greatly appreciated.

I... um... wow. You left me kind of speechless there. Not completely sure how to respond to such kind words. I have a giant smile every time I reread this review.

I always felt like Harry would want a large family for two reasons: 1) he never had a family to speak of growing up, and 2) I felt like he was very envious (not in a negative way) of the Weasleys for being such a close, loving family.

The idea of including Death in this story was something that popped into my head very late in the process of drafting that chapter. I had the trainman already, but prior to that he was modeled after a non-psycho version of the Trainman in the Matrix movies. He was a gatekeeper between worlds.

Again, I can't thank you enough for all of the kind words and for leaving such a nice review. It means a great deal to me and I'm very happy that you enjoyed the story!

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Review #8, by StarFeather The Silliest Thing I’ve Ever Heard

7th February 2016:
Hi, Dan! I could come back here! I really enjoyed this chapter. So many stars entered. The trio and Luna, Percy, Audrey, and Lady Tenabra.

Tha sad moment, Harry remembered Ginny, when Hermione explained the scene, is the most impressive and his anger you wrote is the most awesome spot I felt. His power to solve the case, I think rage against the evil act can lead to the solution. I remembered why I love your novels. A strong sense of justice, to get angry for his fellow Auror who died leaving his family, this is Harry.

I like the conversation between Luna and the trio. And I like the way how Harry and she entered the Weasley's living room. The minature investigating scene reminded me of "Back to the Future" where Doc tested the simulation of Delorean.

It's horrible to imagine how Flint's dead body was like. I hate Lady Tenabra. Flint might be a bad guy, but I remember he was a Hogwarts student and played Quidditch with Harry.

I like your description of Kriffin and the book written by Lockheart. You captured how the house-elf behaves and how Harry reacts him very well. It's marvelous you set Lockheart's ridiculous book among the serious case.

One more, what will happen to Percy and Audrey next?


Author's Response: Hi, again, Kenny! Thanks for coming back so soon!

This chapter ended up with a pretty large cast. There are a few later on that have even more, but it does start to get unwieldy when you have so many.

I think of Harry the same way: very motivated to bring justice to those who deserve it. Thanks to Petunia and Vernon, he grew up without a strong sense of self-worth, so helping others is mostly how he measures his own worth.

Luna is always fun to write. I don't think I could write her in the first person, just because I really have no idea what's going through her head. Hermione's diorama is sort of like Doc Brown's scale model, only she has the benefit of being able to conjure things and even animate them if she wants to. Knowing Hermione, I'm sure she included a lot of details.

In some ways, Flint got what was coming to him, but that doesn't make Tenabra any more likable. You'll see again and again that once she no longer has a use for you, you're just another loose end that needs to be eliminated.

House elves are fun to write, at least for me. Odd little creatures with a completely different mindset and value system.

Percy and Audrey are having a very difficult time. And if you expect that to change soon, I have some bad news for you...

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #9, by mysuv1 The Injuries We Can’t See

5th February 2016:
not sure if i like where it is going

Author's Response: Eh, give it a chance. There are lots of twists and turns, so you might suddenly find the story heading in a direction you like better.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #10, by mysuv1 The Silliest Thing I’ve Ever Heard

4th February 2016:
this is an unusual concept

Author's Response: Writing is more fun when you try to do some unusual things.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #11, by StarFeather Searching for Answers

30th January 2016:

Finally I came back again. As I wrote in your MTA thread, I thought chapter 11 was the best, you portrayed the trio very well but I'd like to say this chapter is also great. I enjoyed the scene, Harry's accomplishment of his mission very much. Mainly it was Harry to play an active part, but I really like you set Ron as a backup for Harry during his mission. I like the idea involving old Hagrid's disinformation, too.

Oh, my.. when I read the part of Hermione at the first sentnece, I felt the gap between Harry's mission and Hermione's state of mind, the dynamic and the static state. Then you wrote "the teachings of an ancient Zen philosopher as I expected! I strongly felt that at the very first sentence, " Hermione listened to the sounds of water falling over the edge of the small fountain...
Hm..."Peace led to serenity" yes, calmness.
"Serenity led to acceptance." acceptance? maybe... yeah, acceptance to live together with her situation.
"Acceptance led to growth"? Acceptance led to reborn? just my thought.

Poor Hermione. She's not ready for the fact that she has to use the wheel chair.

The conversation between Scorpius and Draco is very impressive. I was amazed by your imagination. How could you create such a nice scene out of nowhere? Especially I like this dialogue, "Don't let pride or your faith in Potter blind you to the truth. He can't protect everyone, everywhere, all the time." I felt sad remembering Ginny was dead in your story (That was the reason why I couldn't keep reading this when I found your story as I mentioned at your MTA. I knew this existed when I entered this site. But now I can't stop reading yours! I'm completely hooked.)

Then I confirmed why you got Golden Paw Award for Best Trio. I felt excited at Hermiolne's highly motivated attitude and her thought about the way how Harry got the file and Ron's decision that he would not tell the Auror training related to her levitation.

I take back my previous statement. The most impressive scene for me is "Father and son locked green eyes for a long moment. Even Harry was surprised when he found himself turning away first."

Oh, I'll take back the words^ again. I love the last scene, Harry's message via the silver stag the most, Dan!

I hope I can come back soon.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny!

I enjoyed writing Harry's infiltration of the Minister's office as much as any part of the story. It was fun to let him showcase the skills he spent his career as an Auror developing.

Hermione is not in a good way, but she's trying hard to move on from her injury. There's something she just can't get past. More on that very soon...

I worked a lot on tweaking Draco's dialog to try to preserve the essence of who he is while aging him realistically. At this time in his life, he lives for his family. It's not a completely different ideal from the way he thought when he was younger, it's just that family means something different to him now.

The dynamic between the trio has always fascinated me. I like exploring all of the little aspects of it.

Ha! I loved the idea of Harry sending the patronus, upsetting the Slytherins and getting his message across all at once. The old man does indeed have class.

Hope to see you back soon, my friend!


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Review #12, by Veritaserum27 The Needs of the One

24th January 2016:
Dan, Dan, Dan...

You're kind of evil for the way you started this chapter off. The last one ended with Susan on the verge of death after the showdown at the Ministry. She Albus and Hugo were fighting their way out of a sticky situation and it was just as intense as the scene you describe with Harry at the opening of this chapter.

Except he's playing Exploding Snap.

I actually found it extremely adorable that he and Ron can still get up to such antics as they did when they were twelve. And it's just so Hermione-like to put a stop to it. I also find it adorable that Ron and Hermione still have the gumption to get up to whatever they were getting up to the minute Harry and Esme left the country - heh heh.

It’s a very intricate spell, but fortunately it’s also very robust. She spent a lot of time on this. I’d say she really cared about keeping in touch with her sister.

I feel like I should hold on to this sentiment. Something smells important here...

I'm intrigued that the group now have a supply of portkeys, polyjuice potion and some other good things. This is so much different from when they were hunting horcruxes and had to search around for the most basic necessities.

You have an amazing talent for writing such a complicated plot, yet keeping it all straight and understandable for your readers. There are a LOT of Potters and Weasleys, but the group manages to come up with a plan for them in a few moments time - and the Delacours makes perfect sense. I'm breathing a sigh of relief that they will be safe there.

So I gotta admit - I'm more than a little nervous for Al and Hugo to gather all the family and get to the Delacours. They don't seem to be the best at thinking on their feet in a sticky situation. I'm sure it's mostly because they simply haven't had to do it nearly as much as their parents did, but all the same - they have a LOT of people to account for and get to safety - especially considering they aren't 100% certain where everyone is. But Harry and Ron didn't have much of a choice. They can't have Hermione do it in her current state, Esme doesn't know them very well, so she would probably be more of a hindrance, and Harry and Ron must get Susan immediate medical attention. My nerves are really humming on this all playing out well (I'm not going to even try to pretend it's going to play out according to plan - this is Harry and Ron we're talking about - and their offspring).

Ah! The house elf ward at St. Mungo's! How clever. Although I don't rightly blame the elves for being so standoffish. They can't start accepting every Tom, Dick, and Susan that waltzes in and asks for medical attention - it could end up being an underground (but yet above the heads of the wizards) medical treatment facility for anyone who wanted to stay "off the grid." All the same - I'm glad they finally agreed to treat her.

Dennis Northway is a really lovable character. I don't know why, but I've grown quite fond of him.

Fortunately for Oliver, he had his family to fall back on and fortunately for Dennis, Oliver and Artie had sort of pulled him along with them. -That's just the Potter way.

And then we have our suspected Professor Tennant doing exactly what we suspected him of doing. And poorly. Even the Hogwarts students are noticing his behavior.

Poor Dennis - he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, at the moment.

As they walked, Artie peered around to make sure that nobody was listening and whispered, “We’re going to start dueling lessons again, in secret. We’re working on finding a good place to practice. -Hey! I might know of a cool place for that sort of thing!

I really love how you've got little parallels here and there to the books. For example, the inept Dark Arts Professor, the kids practicing dueling in secret, and Rowle with his two, enormous cronies for backup. I really appreciate those little details.

But here's something different! They are planning on going to Professor Longbottom to tell him about Tennant's bizarre behavior. This is a stark contrast to the books, when Harry, Ron and Hermione usually took it upon themselves to solve the problem instead of asking a teacher.

I loved the end of this and how it all tied together! Haha - I love that Neville has struck a proper balance between casting his authority and being approachable to the students. He has Dumbledore's "piercing stare" (I think all teachers need that one from time to time :) ), but he also remembers the contributions students can make to the fight against evil.

I hope the Grey Lady doesn't scare them off. And I'm so excited to see the Room of Requirement again. I think J.K. hinted that the Fiendfyre might've destroyed it beyond use in the last book, but it's never been something that I could reconcile in my head. That room is just too cool for it to not be around!

Great chapter - I didn't catch any typos! :D

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! I guess I can't just keep staring at this amazing review and smiling at it forever...

A little misdirection makes a story more fun, don't you think? :p It's boring to ease readers into the exact scene they are expecting without adding some uncertainty about what's taking place and where. Or, yeah, I might just be kind of evil.

Katerina Porcher did love her sister a great deal and went to great lengths to make sure that they didn't lose touch. So you're right, it's interesting that it happened so abruptly.

There are a mountain of Potters and Weasleys in this story, so it did become a challenge to keep them all straight and remember what they were doing at any point in time.

Al and Hugo are in way, way, way over their heads. Nothing in their lives could have prepared them for what they're about to face. In some respects it's similar to how the Trio was sent out into the cold, hostile world to hunt horcruxes, but this generation doesn't have the benefit of a Hermione to puzzle out all of the tough situations or a Harry who throws caution to the wind and acts on instinct. You'll see the consequences of this fact very soon.

Yes, the House Elf Ward. I first saw this in another fic (Learning to Live Again? I'm embarrassed to admit I don't exactly remember) and I fell in love with the idea. It is a very uncomfortable situation for all involved.

I've said since Dennis first appeared to keep an eye on him. Dennis is not only a character, he's also a metaphor for a magical world that's become complacent and naive. A big part of the plot is how Dennis gradually realizes the true dangers that surround him.

Yes, the Potter/Weasley kids do have that one advantage over their parents. They have actually been taught to trust and confide in the authority figures in their lives. How much trouble could have been saved if only Harry had done the same...

I do love writing "Neville the Headmaster". It's such a contrast to how he behaves when he's in the company of his own contemporaries. There's actually a lot of that in this story and it made the writing that much more fun.

I chose to believe that Fiendfyre destroyed "the Room of Hidden Things", but that was only one facet of the Room of Requirement. It works for me. :)

Thanks so much for all of the support and attention to detail!


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Review #13, by Jace76 Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

30th November 2015:
I am loving that you have taken inspiration from two of my favourite stories. It's awesome to see others interpretations of what would happen to the characters latter on.

Author's Response: Hi! They're two of my favorites, as well. I hope you enjoy my ideas for what might have happened next.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #14, by Veritaserum27 The Needs of the Many

26th November 2015:
Hi there Dan,

I tried to get this all wrapped up last night, but I’d been baking all day long and I ended up falling asleep - haha! Anyway - here is a Thanksgiving Day review for you!

I loved the first scene with Susan. Actually, I love Susan. One of the things that J.K. did with her characters was to make magic ‘the great equalizer.’ Being a Quidditch player or an Auror or even Minister or Headmaster/mistress wasn’t ever construed as typically a man’s job. Along with her lack of prejudice in other areas, this is one of the reasons why I loved the series so much. I adore reading stories like yours where characters are strong, capable and brilliant regardless of their gender or sexuality or race. And I love Susan.

Poor Draco. As usual, I feel like he’s going to be stuck having to make a decision between two very, very bad choices. This line makes me a little nervous:

He vaguely remembered skimming a pamphlet from the Magical Creatures Department years ago and he could have sworn that it said that elves were not able to repair curse damage,

I really hope this isn’t foreshadowing of some sort. But goon on Astoria for not being as dim-witted or as disloyal as her husband predicts. Another strong female character. Noted. I’m a bit surprised that Narcissa Malfoy was so poor with money. She actually always struck me as someone who was really with-it when it came to maintaining her family’s posterity. Either someone has siphoned off the Malfoy fortune or Lucius always took care of all of that and when he became ill and eventually passed, Narcissa didn’t know how to keep track of their money.

I noticed this chapter contains three vignettes like most of yours, but unlike the others, this final section is about the same character as the first one. And whooo boy, does it ever have some action. Hold on to your hats! I enjoyed reading the skirmish at the Ministry quite a bit, but I did not expect Susan to get injured so badly.

“Hugo, get over here!” Al’s voice rang with barely contained panic. More bad news. At the rate things were going, Hugo was probably digging a hole nearby.

There’s that humor again. And much needed this time. Was Susan referring to Ron or Harry when she said “call your dad?”

I know I won’t be able to wait very long to get to the next chapter - YIKES! What a cliffhanger.

Sorry this review isn’t as long as usual, but I wanted to spread some Thanksgiving cheer.

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! Happy Black Friday Weekend to you!

I love Susan, too. Time and again, she has Big Moments and steals scenes in this story. I don't know what I'm going to do with her. Maybe write an entire novel about her someday? If only there was time...

Draco spends a lot of time dealing with confusing decisions in this story. That's part of what makes him fun to write: he's always working with a little less information than most of the other characters. He's not the Head Auror or a high-ranking official in the Department of Magical Law. He's lived the majority of his adult life on the fringe of "polite society" because of his family's involvement in the war. So he spends a lot of time trying to work things our for himself based on what little he knows for sure plus a lot of personal insight and intuition. I really enjoyed writing his inner dialog as he puzzles through things.

Astoria is not dimwitted or disloyal in the slightest. She's a very strong character and Draco would be hopelessly lost without her. I don't think that Narcissa ever had to manage money before old Lucius passed away. I doubt that Cygnus and Druella would have considered that a "proper" thing for their youngest daughter to worry herself with and I'm confident that Lucius always made a big show of money being no concern for his family. All she had ever seen anyone do with money was spend it, and she probably trusted the Goblins implicitly to manage her financial affairs. That was a poor choice.

I mixed up the structure of the chapters a lot in this story, mostly based on what I needed to get done in each one. Three seemed like a good good number for the "scenes" in each chapter, but I don't think I stuck with it religiously.

I love Susan's gallows humor. Later on in the story, you'll meet a Beauxbatons professor who could be an older version of Susan. The motif works for me. I honestly don't remember whether Susan was telling Hugo to contact Ron or Al to contact Harry. Since it's sort of assumed that the two of them were together, I doubt that it mattered much to Susan.

A cliffhanger, you say? Well, you would certainly know one if you saw it. :p

Thank so much for brightening my Turkey Day! I always enjoy it when you stop by!

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Review #15, by Veritaserum27 Friends and Allies

15th November 2015:
Hello there Dan!

I'm here for the next chapter! I hope this review finds you well.

The Ron and Hermione scene was a real treat to read. I love how multi-faceted you've made both of them (not made, but rather, extended). It's how I see them as well. They're both really, really talented - and they have a softer side as well. Or rather in this scene - a naughty side. I'm sorta glad you stopped the scene just short of their tryst. It leaves a lot to our imagination - but you've set it up nicely enough that we know how it plays out ;)

At the same time, there's some valuable information here. Barsamian is looking less and less like the bad guy and more like a pawn who had little choice but to play the hand he'd been dealt. Agnar Cheshire... I'm going to have to look back through previous chapters, but I don't remember him being mentioned. To be honest, I thought he was going to say Rory Tennant - given his history of ineptitude and bad blood with the Auror department.

The scene with Goyle and Nott was disturbing and creepy and awesome. Your description of the effects of the curse made me shudder - you have such a talent for drawing not only images, but emotions in your reader. It also seemed right that Nott was the one to master the curse and not Goyle - I'd always categorized him in the slow department. The fact that all of the members of the New Blood Order were able to get jobs at the Ministry is even more disturbing. It seems that at every turn, Lady Tenabra has infiltrated even deeper than I thought. This is going from bad to worse. The poor witch who is their victim reminds me of Charity Burbage and her senseless murder at the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

The length of time Harry and Esme had to wait seemed to a waste for all the information Elena gave them. I'm highly suspicious that the missing Auror, Katerian, is in fact, Arabela Dynt - but I'm not going to cash in my chips just yet. There are several chapters left and you seem to have introduced quite a few characters that I don't want to rule anything out just yet.

Ooo! And then we get to meet the Head of the French Auror department. Very interesting, indeed...

If any fighting does break out, I’ll make sure that she remembers to follow orders.

Yeah... good luck with that, Harry. I have a feeling that you can keep Esme from doing anything that she has her mind set to do just as well as you could break an unbreakable vow...

Haha! I see Esme is along the same line of thinking as I am. However, it's a good thing Ricard Dauzat turned out to see the real picture. At least something is going well for our heroes.

I gotta admit, Arabela does make a good argument for Percy. I even know what she's up to and I'm still rooting for him. Go, Percy go! You got this! At the first read, I just glossed over Arabela's story about her family - I was being very, very confident (read: arrogant) that it was a bunch of claptrap because I already knew her real family history. But on my second read-through (okay... third or fourth - I know that I am responsibly for at least four of your reads on this chapter), I decided to pay attention. Mostly because, if I know you, there is at least something hidden there that will come to light later on in the story. And this question is still on my mind: if Arabela (as Lady Tenabra) is able to control the current Minister, why would she need Percy to take over the position? Hmmm... much to ponder.

I only saw one typo in this chapter:

Why are you suddenly so keen on seeing your boss out a a job?

It should probably be "...out of a job..."

I liked how the title tied in to each scene in this chapter. Barsamian might not be the enemy that the trio once thought, Goyle seems bound and determined to ally with Malfoy, Dauzat seems to be setting his allegiance with Harry and Arabela is "allying" with Percy to become the next Minister.

Thanks again for writing this awesome story!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! I've been busy lately, but who isn't at this time of the year? I suspect it will get worse before it gets better. :-/

I did my best to age all of the canon characters realistically in this story. Try to preserve some of the things that make them unique while also allowing them to grow into the roles and responsibilities that characterize later life. Ron and Hermione have been married for nearly 50 years at this point, but I wanted to show that they still found ways to make life fun. And yes, from a ToS standpoint, the scene had to end where it did. Feel free to let your imagination take it where you like.

I enjoy weaving pawns into the story. From reading ASLtW, I've come to suspect that you like your pawns, as well. They're a great way to keep the reader guessing about who's really responsible for what.

The scene with Nott and Goyle was interesting to write because of the mismatch between the tone and the content. The scene is brutal and violent and disturbing, but the tone of the conversation was light and almost... well, conversational. I was thinking a bit of the scenes in Pulp Fiction where Jules and Vince have these everyday sort of conversations while they're on their way to kill someone. The witch's death did have a bit of a Charity Burbage vibe, now that you mention it.

It's true that Elena didn't give Harry and Esme a lot of new information, but the locket... that was a bigger deal than it seems.

You're right. Harry will never have much luck convincing Esme not to do something if she thinks it's the right thing to do. He has a thing for that sort of woman, don't you think? ;)

Don't discount what Arabela tells Percy about her past. If you think about it, it might explain a few things...

Gah! Another typo! Thank you for picking them out. By the time you're done, this story will be so shiny!

Ha! I'll let you in on a secret: By the end of the story -- once I'd figured out how all the plot threads were going to come together -- I probably agonized more over the chapter titles than anything else. I wanted to find something short and pithy for each one that tied into the chapter's content.

Thank you again for reading. And for reviewing!


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Review #16, by StarFeather The Greater Fool

12th November 2015:
Hi, Dan. Long time no see on the forums.

I thought it was about time to be back to your Harry, so I came back. (Review the Person Above)

It’s a good thing for the children who study to Hogwarts to go back to the Burrow to have family dinner.
I like the conversation between Charlie and Harry. I’m thinking to write about Charlie and dragons. George grew old, yet he is up to something.
You portrayed Molly and Arthur very well. Molly welcomes Harry, you visualized the scene very well,too. Though Harry worried about incidents and Hermione, he wouldn’t show his concern to Arthur. Everybody can’t stop smiling at Arthur. I was really impressed by his words, “We’re available” for battling dark wizards in their nineties.

Family Quidditch scene is awesome but there still left uneasy feeling, the absence of Ron and Hermione.
It’s clever of Harry to notice George’s plot. After the series of pranks and speeches, Harry seemed to have gone. I guess poor Harry couldn’t endure to speak of Ginny.

It’ll be interesting with a portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black. Will he help Draco and Astoria?

The conversation between Rose and Harry are well written, too. You portrayed how old Harry would be like. It’s very sad to think over his pain, but his emotion was beautifully expressed in every sentences. Talking about Ginny with Rose may heal his broken heart.

Wow, this chapter has various scenes. I enjoyed the attack scene, too. Poor Windsor! Is he alive? Could he manage to conjure his Patronus? A jet of red light means .. I tried to remember what the curse was.

It was good for Draco who knew the nasty Sectumsempra. When he hit the curse, I was relived. And again good show, Kriffin was in time to rescue him. I always enjoy your action scene!

What? Were all the attacks for nothing but to kill Flint from the first place? Is the real journal hidden in the other place? What is Lady Tenabra’s evil plan?

I hope I’ll be back again soon.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny!

Unfortunately work hasn't been leaving me a lot of time for HPFF lately. Life in a startup company is like that... well, it's like that most of the time. I carve out little bits of time where I can.

Having the Weasleys pull all of their children out of Hogwarts for a family dinner isn't really something that happens in canon, but I still liked the idea. Besides, who's going to say no to Molly if she wants to have a family dinner?

I really enjoyed writing the Quidditch match. This story gets so heavy at times. It needs moments of levity to keep it on an even keel. And you're right, Harry couldn't handle the idea that he might have to talk about Ginny.

The bust of Headmaster Black isn't really going to be much of a help to Draco. It's mostly just going to make fun of him.

Harry and Rose have a special sort of bond. I enjoyed developing that.

Draco learned a lot of things during the war. Some of them, he wishes that he could forget. But he is able to fight his way out of a bad spot.

You're correct that the book Flint stole from Malfoy Manor was a ruse. To what end? You'll have to wait and see. ;) Lady Tenabra has many things up her sleeves.

Look forward to seeing you again soon!

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Review #17, by Veritaserum27 All Too Familiar

10th October 2015:
Hiya Dan,

You weren't kidding. Stuff is definitely happening here. And while this chapter didn't have any major action scenes, there was so much going on that this review is going to be pretty long. I'm actually concerned that I'll be restricted by the character limit.

I know I've said it before, but I sincerely appreciate the fact that you've clearly made these characters much more polished than their teenage selves. And you also don't gloss over the fact that age has a definite toll on people (I've read stories where it's mentioned in the firs paragraph that someone is in their sixties and then they go on to act like a twenty year old for the rest of the story). And it's the little details that make a good story a great story.

So I quite enjoyed reading the first section in the train station. Harry is still Harry - he's quick on his feet with the spells and never fails to impress us with his magic. Also, you've painted a picture of a great team with Harry and Esme - they work well together and it's almost as if they can anticipate each other's actions.

Then they get on the train and it's just so awkward, I was cringing.

‘arry, do you intend to spend our entire trip making painful small talk, or shall we discuss what is obviously on both of our minds?

I'm beginning to like this chick. Let's cut to the chase, shall we?

“I know it probably seemed like I couldn’t forget about those days fast enough, but it really helped me figure out a lot of things. Made me realize what was really important, what I really cared about.”

Harry, Harry, Harry. How is it he tries so darn hard but the exact WRONG thing comes out of his mouth so often? I feel bad for him - a little bit, but I'm sorta on Esme's side at this point. It seriously seems like he was using her.

And then he tells his story - and I even know the story, but I'm still caught off guard that after all these years, there's still a part of him that feels the loss and insecurity. Harry is still Harry.

Haha - I love your creativity. George was awesome and I can just see those goofy ministerial baffoons floating in their princess dresses out over the street. On the other hand, I'm sure my daughter would have LOVED that kind of party when she was younger :)

The poorly cast monitoring spells, the obvious tails on the Weasleys, and all of the rest of it is making me nervous. Lady Tenabra is MUCH too deliberate and cunning to be so sloppy. Either she's putting a lot of faith in some completely inept followers (possible), or this is on purpose to use as a distraction while some other stuff is going down.

Either way, I'm very nervous that she's going to get some information out of Percy. He's just not as careful as the rest of them - and he's a bit gullible as well.

This is the first story I've read that has a scene at Beauxbatons and I LOVED your description of the school. It was perfect and seemed so fitting based on what we know in the books - and what I know from visiting France.

It seems like in each chapter you're able to take what we know from canon about magic and make it grow and expand in ways I never even dreamed of. The idea of expanding upon a hint of a memory from when you were very young and being able to see it in a pensieve is nothing short of brilliant. And you got me TWICE in the gut this chapter with the Harry feels - first in the beginning section where he recounts his childhood to Esme and then here, where he gets to revisit a memory in a way he never thought he would. It totally reminded me of the scene where Hagrid gave him the album of his parents. You definitely captured that moment so well! The crew seemed so innocent and young and alive it was beautiful and painful and heartwarming all at once.

I also love the concept of becoming a legilimens to make up for hearing loss - that makes SO much sense!

And I may be missing something, but I'm not exactly certain why Esme is angry about visiting Katerina's father - does she not like the word "squib" either, or is she upset that she has a possible barrier to getting the information she needs?

I think I caught a few typos. I'm not exactly sure if this first one is a typo or not, but it felt like a word was missing at the end.

That realization drove home another, equally painful.

On my first read through, it just sounded off to me, and then when I went back through and read it a few more times, I could see what you were trying to say - but perhaps the word "stab" or "wave" would make it sound more polished? I can see that you're referring to another "bludger" that was mentioned earlier, but because the bludgers were described at the beginning of the the paragraph preceding this sentence, it felt like something was missing here.

And these last three, I think are also typos...

Test score do not tell the whole story, Miss Osinalde,


Professor Turgeon, I understand that you have an duty of confidentiality to your students,

-should be "a duty" instead of "an duty"

With a final smile, she turned away and began to hobble towards her office. Harry watched her for a few moments, the followed Esme out the door.

-I think it should be "then followed"

I loved this chapter because I feel a little more connected to Harry and I feel like he's moving along toward solving the mystery. I can't wait to see what's next!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! Sorry I've taken a while to get to this. I wanted to take the time to patch up the typos before I responded to it.

Guess what? You're more than halfway done! I'm not sure how that makes you feel, but I'm excited. The pace really picks up from here to the end. Lots of happenings and (hopefully, if I've done my job right) the plot threads start to pull together.

Aging the characters realistically in this story was definitely the hardest part of writing it. I tried hard to find the essential things that made the characters who they were -- like George's sense of humor mixed with just a touch of vanity -- and preserve those things while letting the rest of the character age.

Harry and Esme do make a good team, at least when things aren't awkward.

Yeah, most of the time on the train was awkward. Harry still has a very limited understanding of the opposite sex and Esme has a lot of unanswered questions. Predictably, Harry's attempts to answer them don't go so well. He's trying to explain things in the way that makes sense to him, which doesn't play well for her at all.

Wow. I really, really appreciate the compliment about Harry's story. I don't know that there's a better reaction to get from a reader than to have them say, "I already knew what was going to happen, but it still affected me anyway."

Ah, George. I did not get to give him as much "screen time" as I would have liked in this story. In fact, I didn't get to give most of the characters as much as I thought they deserved. But he finds a ways to make the most of his moments.

Lady Tenabra definitely has inept followers, but she doesn't have faith in anyone other than herself. As you'll see, there's a reason why she doesn't mind relying on so many incompetent people. It all ties into her endgame.

I spent some time brainstorming with my beta reader about what Beauxbatons would look like and we both decided that the architecture and atmosphere should definitely be Renaissance-inspired.

To he honest, I decided on giving Harry his early childhood memory first and then I sort of backed into how the magic would have to work. This chapter is heavy on feels for Harry, and I thought it also helped to reinforce some things about him for Esme. I agree, it was also pretty neat. ;)

Esme is upset at the way Katerina's father treats her non-magical sister and as you'll see, there's no love lost between him and the French Aurors. It's not that he's prejudiced against his non-magical daughter the way that the Blacks or Malfoys might be, rather he shelters her from the world. It will be more clear in the next chapter. And I imagined that outside of Britain with its pureblood supremacist tradition, the world "squib" would be viewed almost like a racial epithet.

Thank you so much for picking out all the typos. Like I said, it amazes me how many have survived the years.

Thanks so much for all of the feedback and support! Can't wait to see what you think of the next few...


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Review #18, by Veritaserum27 Deceptive Appearances

20th September 2015:
Hey there Dan,

Look at this! I'm working hard on my being a better reviewer/responder/HPFFer, etc...

I don't recall if I've mentioned this before or not, but I really like the fact that you separate your paragraphs with a few spaces (I think it might be 3?) It makes it much easier to read the story and it's aesthetically pleasing as well. I like it so much, I'm considering going back through my stories and doing the same (imitation is the highest form of flattery, perhaps?).

Back to Harry and Esme. So, I'm going to give her a bit more of a chance like you said and I do see the similarities between her and Ginny. The one difference I noticed is that Ginny always seemed so down to earth. She didn't need fancy stuff and definitely didn't make a fuss about silly, girly things. I think that may have been my favorite quality of hers and I always thought that was one of the things Harry loved about her. I definitely miss it in Esme, but as I said, I'm going to give it some time. :)

I will say, she is an absolutely brilliant witch in her own right. The fact that she could untangle the memories when even Hermione didn't have the slightest clue how to do it definitely gives her a few stars in my book. And I really loved the way you described the "unraveling" memory. It totally made sense, plus it added a little bit of drama to the story - I can feel the pressure that the group is working under when they only have a few chances to view the memory.

So the memory revealed what I had expected. Percy had nothing to do with Stoops's murder - it was all Tenabra. And while I'm quite certain it will be revealed that she is the "missing" French Auror with the memory-modification skills, I'm also quite certain that you have a few tricks up your sleeve along our path to get there.

Professor Rory Tennant. Could this name be an homage to Dr. Who? I wasn't aware you were a fan and maybe it's just a coincidence with the name. Nonetheless, I can see why this dude isn't an Auror anymore.

Rory Tennant didn’t know it, but he had just set an upper limit on his own life expectancy. Once he was gone, she turned and disapparated.

This guy is a loser. Even I saw that coming.

Great job with the last scene. You have the right balance of humor, action and suspense. What I really, really loved about it was that they were successful with their overall plan. I always found it frustrating (and a little tiresome bordering on predictable) when every single one of the Golden Trio's plans would go awry at the last minute. It's nice to see they've gained some finesse and confidence with age.

Brilliant of Ron to get the wand - and he basically did that automatically and on the fly. There was no way he wasn't going to impersonate Rigel and seize the opportunity. I appreciate that you haven't made Ron into the oaf that many people do, putting him off as unable to react unless Harry and Hermione are directing him. I see him the same way - a brilliant Auror in his own right - often overshadowed, even if it isn't warranted.

Hmmm... is Cornfoot just a secondary character put in there to fill the time - or do you have something up your sleeve? I never know with you.

And haha - who doesn't get by with a little help from their friends? Susan Bones is another brilliant Auror. I like her better and better every time she makes an appearance. I can feel the camaraderie with this department. They know each other in a way that only working really closely for many years can come about. Clearly, this group has had to put their lives into one another's hands on many occasions. They've been through everything together and they always have each other's backs. Love it.

♥ Beth

Author's Response: 857-320-1690

Hi, Beth! I've told myself that I'm not allowed to let unanswered reviews linger for as long as I have been recently. Let's see whether I can keep to the plan.

I messed around with the formatting for a few chapters before I settled on the double-spacing. I find it's easy on the eyes. That's important when you can't stop yourself from writing chapters that are 6,000 to 9,000 words long. ;)

Good. That's all I ask is that you give Esme a chance. She might just grow on you. She is a very talented and powerful witch in her own right, as you're starting to see. The back story that she and Harry share is also a little more complicated than you've seen so far. Suffice it to say that she has good reasons to be cautious.

I really, really enjoyed writing all of the memory magic in this story. It was one of those little things that JKR dreamed up with the books that really appealed to me.

Yep, Percy was framed. At least, framed to himself. Is Lady Tenabra the missing French Auror? Hmmnn... we shall see... ;)

So here's the sad truth: I do not now nor have I ever watched Dr. Who. People tell me that I would enjoy it. At any rate, the name of the former Auror turned Hogwarts teacher was purely by accident. I was trying to think of something Scottish-sounding to go along with his accent. And you're right. He is a loser.

Even the golden trio has to have a plan go right every once in a while. Ron and Hermione did plan this out quite carefully, and even though some of the details didn't go quite they way they drew it up, the plan was robust enough to hold together.

I really don't like to see Ron written as the dim-witted third banana to Harry and Hermione. I don't recall him being that way in the books. Stubborn? Often. Goofy? Sometimes. Studious? Basically never. But he did always come through for them when they needed him and it wasn't by accident. If you like him in this chapter, there's a treat coming up for you later on.

Cornfoot was just a name that I pulled out of canon. The fact that he's related to someone who was at Hogwarts around the same time as the trio was a plus.

Susan is also about to come into her own in a big way. I think my 3-chapter "Susan Arc" starts in about 2 chapters. I hope you like it!

I'm really pleased that you're enjoying the story. The pace is about to pick up in a big way. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #19, by swtmix Epilogue

13th September 2015:
This story was absolutely fantastic. I only just got around to reading it on my kindle but could not put it down the whole way so spent the entire Sunday in bed and reading. Thank you. Excellent writing and drew me in from the get go.

Author's Response: I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Thank you for the feedback and thanks for reading!

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Review #20, by StarFeather The Tangled Web We Weave

30th August 2015:
#Last Spurt @ Review NaNo 1/ 21

Hi, Dan. I came back to your Harry. You wrapped up this chapter with his worrying about people who became the victims and deduction about the case. You revealed the fragment of hints, the warden played a small part in the conspiracy and the dream in which a wheelchair-bound Hermione was murdered by masked Death Eaters gives us a horribly vivid impression. It’s heartbreaking to read Hermione sensed Harry was hiding something very important about her. You really expressed their unchanging friendship very well. It's very touching.

There are brighter ones: Hugo cares about Ron who sticks Hermione, lacking sleep. Ginny had remembered names and birth dates of his ever-growing family tree (at the same time it's sad to remember this for she had already been dead.) The conversation between loyal Hermys and him about Hermione makes us smile. Harry caught Octavia before her landing on Hermione on the bed. Dennis Norhway resolved to do what he could do.

You revealed the name of the mysterious lady. Will Lady Tenebra want to be like Voldemort? New Blood Order sounds like that.
The revelation that Ginny’s death was set for accomplishment of Tenebra’s ambition makes us want to read more. And you haven’t revealed how Ginny was murdered in detail yet. It’s still veiled with mystery. I’ll catch up the next chapter soon.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny!

It's taken me a horribly long time to respond to this review and I sincerely apologize. No excuse, just sorry.

Hermione definitely knows Harry well enough to know that something is bothering him a great deal. She's not completely sure what, but she has a very reasonable suspicion.

I tried really hard to include a lot of small touches in the story to keep it grounded in the magical world we know and in the way that families actually relate to one another. I'm glad you liked it.

Lady Tenabra is like Voldemort in some ways, but very different in others. She's cold, calculating and ruthless. But she's studied the Dark Lord's mistakes and she at least believes that she's wiser than he was. Time will tell...

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #21, by Veritaserum27 Out of Sight

26th August 2015:
Hi there Dan,

It's been too long, I know. I'm really sorry and I'm trying to make up for it.

So, I'm reading The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown right now (I realize the book came out several years ago), but I'm a huge Dan Brown fan and I never got around to reading that one. Only two chapters in and I realized the similarities in your writing styles. You both have such an eye for setting the scene and giving little details that seem like they might be insignificant, but will add up to something big later on. And the most stunning similarity is to have so many different characters with seemingly unaligned story lines - but they come together at different points and the story has an undertone to it. The reader can feel the story building, building to something that's going to be a fantastic reveal. Eeep!

So I wanted to ask you if you are also a Dan Brown fan, and if so, has he influenced your writing. Then I had an epiphany...

Are you Dan Brown?

I'm serious. You have the same first name - and there's no way Dan Brown (erm.. you) could write fanfiction using his famous moniker. Your ability to challenge the reader and keep us riveted, begging for the next chapter and just trying our darndest to figure out the mystery before it's revealed, is uncanny.

Okay, so if you are indeed Dan Brown, I understand you can't just spell it out in a review response, so you can just leave me a hint or a clue or... a symbol so I can know the truth.


Alright, let's get down to reviewing this chapter!

Esme - I gotta say, I'm not a fan. She seems incredibly insensitive and self-absorbed (I smell a little Fleur). Not to mention, she's holding something like a 40 year old grudge against Harry. I admit, I don't know exactly what he did, but I'm gonna make an educated guess that it was probably something he did out of cluelessness rather than intentionally offending her. However, she does seem to be a decent Auror, so I can't fault her completely.

I loved this chapter because it reminded me so much of key points that happened in the books. The scene with Harry trying to convince Hermione reminded me of 6th year when Harry knew Draco was a marked Death Eater and everyone (including Hermione), told him he was daft.

Then the speech made my the Minister with its double meaning was a reminder of Umbridge's speech at the beginning of 5th year for the trio. However, more people took notice this time. Seriously? Forgiveness for crimes if you come forward?! Even Percy saw through that. (And I was pleasantly surprised to see that he seems a bit more together this chapter.)

Then there's the lovely Arabela. Of course it was her plan all along to have Percy challenge the Minister. Hmmm... I wonder how this is going to play out. Probably exactly the way she wants it to unless somebody stops her! And I have to give her props. She is good - admitting to things so that Percy won't suspect her, but then twisting it around to gain his trust even more. Women.

Gah! Such a sweet patronus from Molly. Ever the mother ♥.

I'm glad Susan had the wherewithal to give a proverbial smack over the head to Al, Hugo and Teddy. Seriously? Those three should know better. You just about stabbed me in the heart with that last line about Harry blaming himself. Eeek!

I *think* I found a small typo in this line:

Those that are found to be in conflict with out great traditions, or that were passed in haste, will be suspended while they are referred to the full Wizengamot for consideration of repeal.

Did you mean "with our great traditions, instead of out?

And I can't leave without saying how much I adore your bits of comic relief. The joke about the knickers and the wheelchair, Ron making his comment about the custom Bentleys, and Teddy taking the mickey out on Al was awesome and this chapter definitely needed that balance. Awesome job, as always, Dan!

♥ Beth

P.S. Remember: give me a symbol...

Author's Response: Hey, Beth! I've been staring at this review for several days now, wondering "how on earth do I do *that* justice?"

I guess I should begin by letting you down gently. I'm not Dan Brown. OK, I admit it, I'm not good at "gentle".

I read the Da Vinci Code and I liked it. I didn't enjoy it as much as some of Crichton's books (Andromeda Strain, Sphere, Terminal Man). I tried to read Angels and Demons and I couldn't really get into it. I always get a weird reaction when I feel like an author has started to write books with an eye toward having them become movies. It changes their writing in subtle ways. At any rate, I'm afraid that the only symbol I can give you is: ◕◡◕

All I can say at this point is give Esme some time. There are reasons why she behaves the way she does. You might or might not think that those reasons justify her behavior, but you are missing a couple of pieces of information at this point. Once you know where she's coming from, feel free to continue disliking her. ;)

Harry is convinced that there's something larger going on and Hermione's opinion means everything to him. He's impulsive, she's rational. She's his voice of reason.

Lady Tenabra (by way of the Minister) is walking a line that she believes (reasonably) will embolden the purebloods and anger the progressives. She wants to keep the pot simmering just below the boiling point, at least for now.

Why so suspicious of poor Arabela? ;) All she wants is for Percy to try to bring some sanity back to the Ministry. Or is it?

Susan is always available to deliver a smack over the head to anyone who needs one. She's brilliant that way.

You are the best proof-reader I've ever had! You are crazy good at picking out those little typos that *look* correct until you read them carefully.

You have to have little bits of humor in a story like this. Otherwise, the depression smothers the light.

Thanks so much for the awesome review. And again: ◕◡◕

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Review #22, by mymischiefmanaged Epilogue

26th August 2015:
Ahhh oh my goodness Dan, I can't believe I've only just read this wonderful story. I think I've been put off reading it before because I didn't like the idea of reading a story about Harry after Ginny's death (you really know how to write heartbreaking stuff...) but you've handled it all so well and once I started reading I just couldn't stop.

I think this will be one of those reviews where I use up the word limit, so I'll try to be brief with my long long list of things I loved about this story. Okay, here goes...

You have such a hugely impressive grasp of a massive cast of characters. All of your main characters and main supporting characters are beautifully well developed, and you even give lots of the people in the background moments that show how much thought you've put into them (Fleur stands out as an example of this - she wasn't a big character in the overall plot but you showed how strong she was and the moments she had in the spotlight were essential). I love the care you've given every single one of your characters. It makes them so much more believable and really makes the reader want to see what happens to them.

On a related note, all your canon characters are wonderfully and impressively in character. I'm always very scared to write Harry or any of the key people from his Hogwarts years, because I just feel like JK did such a good job creating them and I wouldn't want to try to write her characters and not do them justice. You've got every single one of them spot on, as well as expanding some of the people we didn't see so much in the original books. It must have been difficult to do but you've pulled it off flawlessly.

Your characterisation of Percy is probably the best I've ever seen.

I really love the ongoing tension between the older generation and the younger generation, and how it mimics what Harry found so frustrating when he was growing up. I love seeing the older generation struggle with their hypocrisy in wanting their children to stay out of danger even though they would have refused to. Also, I love that in the end the teenagers had an essential part to play - it's very in keeping with the general spirit of Harry Potter.

I'm hugely impressed by how you handled Esme's character. You managed to make her likeable and very plausible as a candidate for Harry's love, while still letting Harry and Ginny be the great love story of the novel. It's very clever and very true to life, although I'm kind of glad that Esme and Harry never really had their moment because that would have complicated the whole reunion with Ginny in the end.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU KILLED NEVILLE! I understand why you did it, and it definitely contributed wonderful things to the overall plot, but ahdarsjrlkeajljslkgj it was super painful to read. But WELL DONE for creating such a wonderful Neville. Over the original books we see him develop so much, and he probably goes through one of the biggest journeys as a character. You've shown how that journey carried on for him after finishing at Hogwarts, and I feel like at the point he died he would have been very proud of his achievements, which is probably all that 11-year-old Neville ever wanted. You made him a wonderful headmaster and I reckon Dumbledore would have been very proud of him.

I really really like the idea of Harry ending his life as headmaster of Hogwarts. It was the first real place he saw as home, and I like the idea that he would return to it. But I also think it only really works in the context of your overall plot, which again says wonderful things about your writing. It wouldn't really make sense for Harry to go back to Hogwarts as headmaster if he was still with Ginny, but given her awful death it's good that he's found a positive way to spend his old age.

Also I like how it gives Ron an opportunity to lead the aurors, because after all these years looking after Harry he's definitely ready for the job.

Your Hermione is wonderful. She's still the same girl we see in JK's writing, but you've shown how her experiences have hardened and changed her. I really like how she's now got this fierce drive to protect her family, and how this drive has changed her.

I'm running out of words but just quickly wanted to talk about MALFOY. I just love everything about how you wrote him. I already love your Draco from 'Detox', but I think this gave us much more to admire, and I really really like how it ended up being him who followed Harry at the end. It feels like a lovely 'growing up' moment for them both. (Also, I like how intertwined their families are at this point. It's a benefit of writing this era rather than focussing on Rose/Scorpius at school).

I don't know if you ever plan to come back and edit any of this, and you very much don't need to because it's already wonderful, but I did just have one suggestion for if you ever feel the need to make any changes. I guessed very early on that Arabela was the villain, and I think this was mostly because she was mentioned a few times without much reason to be, which drew attention to her as a possible suspect (don't know if that makes sense but hopefully it does). Later on I doubted my suspicions because we saw some more of her kindness to Percy, but I think her character could remain much more mysterious if you added one or two scenes in the very early chapters that included her and introduced her through Percy's eyes as a very kind and caring friend. If she was more of a character in her own right from early on, it would be more of a shock to discover her true nature. Like I said, this is just a suggestion and is very much not required, but I thought it might be worth mentioning as an idea.

Love love loved reading this, Dan. I'm in awe of your writing and look forward to reading more of your wonderful work. I can't believe it took me so long to get around to reading this but I'm very glad that I finally have.

Emma xx

Author's Response: Hi, Emma!

I've been staring at this review for a few days now, thinking, "How on earth am I going to fit a decent response within the character limit?" And look, I just set myself back around 100 characters. Better get started.

I've said this in a bunch of responses, but it always bears repeating: Having Ginny not be a part of this story was the hardest decision that I made, bar none. I adore Ginny and Harry together and I hated doing it. But I needed to put Harry in a certain place for the plot to work.

Having a large cast of characters was a blessing and a curse. On the plus side, when I needed to bulk up a chapter, I could always throw in a scene for one of the minor characters. The huge negative was trying to find enough "screen time" to do all of the characters justice. I did start to really like Fleur, which is why she got her own scene in chapter 40.

Keeping the canon characters -- especially Harry -- in character was the most important thing to me. The tricky part was doing that while aging them 50 years...

The tension between generations wasn't really part of my initial idea, but it became unavoidable as the story unfolded. Characters like Molly were never going to accept the idea of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren putting themselves in danger, but as Hestia says, it's more their world now than it is Molly and Arthur's.

I am breathing such a sigh of relief that you liked Esme. I agonized over nearly every aspect of her character and her story arc. I'm still not completely sure I should have killed her off.

Yeah, I feel genuinely terrible about Neville. There just wasn't any other way. Headmasters of Hogwarts don't retire. That said, I wanted to give him a hero's death, one filled with purpose and courage. I think I did alright in that respect.

I like where Ron and Harry ended up. I agree with everything you said about Harry, plus I liked him so much when I put him in scenes with the kids. I think it's a great match. And Ron needed to live out from under Harry's shadow.

Out of the trio, I felt like I did the worst job with Hermione. Part of it is because she was injured, but I never felt completely sure about her story arc. I guess it ended up in a good place, but something still bugs me about it. Too late now, though.

Draco's story was one of the key pillars of what I was trying to do. I wanted to show that he could be a hero without changing everything about himself. To put it another way, Slytherins can be heroes and still be Slytherins.

Ugh. I telegraphed Arabela way too early for most people. Thing is, I didn't want to spring her on readers completely out of the blue. It felt a little dumb to me to suddenly introduce the Minister's secretary and effectively say, "Surprise, she's a powerful dark witch who's pulling all the strings! Didn't you know?" So I had to give people a chance to figure it out. Apparently, I made it too easy.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #23, by GingeredTea Flight of the Angels

21st August 2015:
So, it's been awhile (sorry about that!), but I felt like I fell right into step (after spending a bit figuring out what the last chapter was that I reviewed!)

You began this chapter with such a benign sort of rhythm that I just KNEW something terrible was about to happen - that somewhere, this plan was going to unravel. The casual pace served only to heighten my anxiety - perfectly written!

Hugo had never felt like such a failure.. Yeah...I would have too in that situation. Can't imagine the guilt his wife must feel. It really served to show us how peaceful the world has been for this generation.

The next scene was almost as funny as it was tense! Harry and Ron just do not make good driving partners - it must be karma left over from flying to Hogwarts. lol

Harry was never very good at seeing himself as the leader, although he usually did well acting as one.

This was a fantastic chapter! I was on the edge of my seat for the entire last scene!!

Author's Response: Hey, Tori! It's review answering morning!

I like to change the pace frequently during chapters. It keeps my readers awake. ;)

In fairness to Fiona, what's happening around her is completely foreign to her entire life experience. The idea that the wizarding government would be trying to kill them just doesn't register as possible in her mind. She also doesn't deal well with high-pressure situations *and* she's French.

Harry and Ron work well together, but it often seems to be in spite of themselves.

I think that Harry hates the idea of leading people because of all the residual guilt he carries from the war. But when push comes to shove, he does what comes natural, which is to lead people.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #24, by StarFeather Fortunes

20th August 2015:
Hi, Dan. I’m writing the last chapter of my story and in a kind of block wondering how to describe the action scene and thought of coming back here.

The first paragraph is very impressive visually. I could imagine the feathers of the pigeons were ruffled by the fall breeze and the old building like a movie.
We know Flint as a cunning Slytherin, so reading him as a timid man who has human feelings, it’s quite new and I like it. At the same time I wonder who the “lady” is. Is she a canon character?

I got interested in the book, “Ancient Secrets of the Dark Wizards of Wales”. Will it be the key to solve the incident at Ministry? The conversation between Susan and Harry is very interesting. I wonder how you always set up the action and describe the scene where Harry takes lead. Do movies or books inspire you? How do these conversation pop up in your mind?

Fifty people at the Burrow, it must be chaos. Thinking over Harry lost his parents and grandparents earlier, we feel happy for him to have so many relatives.

Then you let another villain enter, I guess he must be a man who would kill Ginny. And I wondered if the journal Flint tried to get, was the destroyed diary Lucius Malfoy put into Ginny’s cauldron in her second year.

It’s pleasing to read the conversation between Harry and Ron and Hermione is getting better but wait, did you mention Hermione couldn’t walk at the first chapters? I have to check it later.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny. I've been reviewing too much to answer my reviews. Time to rebalance my priorities.

I'm flattered that you like my action scenes. I put a lot of thought into them, so it's good to hear that.

You'll find out much, much more about the dark lady as the story goes on. She's a very interesting one.

I took inspiration from a lot of different places for this story, so I guess you'd say that things ultimately get blended and take shape inside my mind. For the scenes in the Auror Department, I tried to take concepts from modern law enforcement dramas and then take them back in time to match the way that the wizarding world always seems to be behind the times.

That is a lot of people at the Burrow, but I think it's the kind of chaos that Molly and Arthur love.

The journal has nothing to do with the diary horcrux. I'll let that much slip. But telling you any more would ruin the surprise. ;)

Hermione is feeling a little bit better, but she has a long, difficult road to recovery. You'll see soon...

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #25, by StarFeather Strange Bedfellows

15th August 2015:
Hallo, Dan. 

I came back here. As you mentioned at response before, Draco entered and finally brought crucial information to Harry. The conversation between Harry and him is very interesting. You kept their classical old rivalry letting them exchange sarcastic conversation. At the end Harry thanked him, which is very Harry-like and Draco didn’t show his emotion as well, it’s very entertaining.

Back to the dark curse which Hermione suffered, is mystery hidden by dark clouds. To find the answer, Harry came back to Hogwarts to consult the headmasters, I love it, too.

I also like the small episode that you let Harry feel Hermione was his best mate more deeply than Ron. And I love his care towards Ron, “he had learned many years ago that this was Ron’s place and he needed to give the two of them space.”, too.

I also like your unobtrusive depiction about Harry as a Head Auror, inserting the scene where he was observing his young subordinates work on the investigation.

I wondered if you took much more time to write about Astoria, because J.K.Rowling didn’t mention about her so much in the books. So many kudos on it, including the scene where Draco rescued her from Flint’s dirty creepy act.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny! Welcome back!

I'm glad you enjoyed the conversation between Draco and Harry. That one was tricky, because there were a lot of things I was trying to do. I wanted to age them realistically, but maintain a good amount of that adolescent rivalry. I wanted Harry to be a bit childish while still thinking strategically about what he needed to get out of the conversation. I wanted Draco to be snarky and rude, but to still have a reason he was there. All in all, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

I think Harry took Luna's idea from DH to heart. When you need to find out about something that nobody alive has ever seen, you ask someone who's dead.

I tried very hard to evolve the friendship between the trio to take account of the many years that had passed. There are certain boundaries that probably became very important over the years.

Harry was being a bit obtrusive until Ron reminded him to back off and let the younger Aurors do their jobs. He needs Ron around for things like that.

You'll see a lot more of Astoria later in the story. I really enjoyed writing her, so much so that she and Draco got their own story in Detox.

Thanks so much for the review and good luck with GryCReMo!

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