I missed this story! I think over Thanksgiving break, I'm going to have to spend the week catching up on all the fics I've been slacking on.
I really liked the opening scene. I could imagine all the guys tumbling in through the fireplace and complaining about how awkward their entrance was.
I also love Athena and their introduction to her, especially her mind-reading. But I also love the banter between the men, especially when they were teasing Doge about all the women in his life. I think that's such a strong talent you have - writing realistic dialogue between the men that adds to the excitement of their missions and the war itself.
I was really disappointed that John and Daisy didn't get to kiss! I was waiting for it, but I knew since you were slowing it down that something would happen to interrupt them. The other men weren't subtle at all about leaving the two of them alone, were they? Ha.
I enjoyed that you interspersed their mission with a bit from Grindelwald's POV. You can really get a feel for his power in that small section and how the Muggles seem to idolize him for his magic and what that can do for them.
I'm glad you included small details about their mission, like them wearing Greek farmer outfits and Daisy and MacDonald having to wear headscarves because their hair would give them away. It's little details like that that make your story realistic. Plus, your descriptions are just fabulous. I love how vividly I can imagine every scene you write. It makes reading your fics quite enjoyable.
I loved Dumbledore's part too! I know I said this before, but I'm glad you're tying canon events into this as well, and it's interesting to see Dumbledore's POV of the whole Chamber of Secrets debacle. And McGonagall! I love how Dumbledore has plans for her. That makes me really excited to see where you take this.
I'm sorry for how terribly long it's been since I last r&r'd this fic, but hopefully I can get through the rest of it soon. I'm enjoying it a lot. :)Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
I've been trying to capture the global perspective of the conflict as much I can, so that creates a role for characters like Athena. Plus I remembered that one of the books mentioned Doge going on a trip around the world when he finished school, so that kind of ties in as well.
Nothing can ever come easy for John, but I'm sure you've probably put 2 and 2 together about where that ship is going.
Thanks for reading this far, and I hope you njoy the rest of it when you get the chance! Report Review
As usual, your descriptions of the setting are fantastic. Very vivid. I still love how you tie everything together between the muggle and wizarding world. You always relate one to the other and I think that continuity is helpful in reminding us how integrated they are, especially in this story.
Grindelwald is all together frightening and kind of awe-inspiring to see the command he has over his men. You did a great job introducing the men who worked for him. I think adding those small details about each men really re-enforced, to me at least, how dangerous these men are. Yet despite their accomplishments, they're still intimidated by Grindelwald. Also, interesting that he took on the Deathly Hallows symbol.
It was nice to see Dumbledore back in Hogwarts, in familiar territory. I think you made great observations about him, especially with the idea of him recruiting because I always imagined him doing so again during the first wizarding war. The only concern with this part, though, was the introduction of the opening of the Chamber of Secrets. It was a great idea to mention it - I completely forgot this occurred around this time! Bu t it just seemed sort of rushed, I guess? I don't know how else to describe it. I guess I wished there was a bit moredialogue between Dumbledore and Slughorn about the incident.
As usual, I love the interactions between Evans and his men. His humor is great - I love his little comment about the British Museum that no one else laughed at, and I love how the men tease him about Daisy. It's such a natural, casual relationship they have. It's great. I bet having Daisy with them will be interesting, indeed. I can't wait to see what happens next!Author's Response: Welcome back yet again!
This opening was pretty fun to write, since we know almost nothing from canon about Grindlwald's followers, I enjoyed being able to mak up names and backstories for them, and to expand upon their failrly obvious tis to the nazis.
I know what you mean about the chamber of secrets part, and that was a prtty tricky issue for me to figure out how to include it. It's really not important to this story so I didn't want to dwell on it, but at th same time it was happening at this time in canon, so I felt like I couldn't ignore it completely.
And now the gang is heading to Greece, I hope you enjoy the next chapter! Report Review
Another great chapter! Things are starting to move along at a nice pace and I'm really enjoying this story a lot. Hopefully now that I'm on vacation I will have more time to sit down and read the rest of this story soon!
I love the interaction between Daisy and Lydia. It's so easy to see the differences in their characterizations - Daisy is a bit more shy and bookish compared to Lydia who is more coy and flirty. We see it more from Evans' POV later on when he bumps into the girls and I liked that continuity.
Actually, that whole John-Daisy interaction was great. I loved it. It was the perfect amount of awkwardness and then ease once they discovered their similar backgrounds after that literary opening. The little bit in the beginning with Charles Dickens was wonderfully done too - it made me smirk.
I really enjoyed Roger's presence, as well. Like you mentioned in the chapter, it showed us a different side of John and it was nice to see his men look up to him more rather than letting Roger's stories ruin his credibility.
I'm excited to read more about these covert missions the men will be involved in and how they will work to defeat Grindelwald and Hitler. I'm also really interested to see if the John/Daisy thing evolves at all - I hope it does, I'm a sucker for romance. :)
I promise you, I will finish this story by summer's end, and I will enjoy every chapter of it!Author's Response: Thanks for yet another review, I'm really glad you'v been enjoying the story so far.
So I wanted to add a little bit of romance to the story here, and I liked the idea of having a socially awkward hero rather than the confident womanizers we see too often.
Thanks again, your reviews are much appreciated. Report Review
I was a little turned off by the length of the chapter, which is funny considering how long my chapters tend to be, but I think the best part about your writing is that you're a great storyteller. The chapter just flies by with action.
So, I kind of love Reynolds, a lot. Lassoing the scorpion and destroying the ruby on the sceptor because he used to shoot at wombats back home. He's kind of awesome that way.
Once again, I really enjoy the mixture of magic and history - using concealment spells to get through enemy lines and the combination of using spells and rifles to do what needs to be done.
I was really concerned when the scorpion stung Dumbledore and then the men were left defenseless against another wizard. When Meisterberger stole the sceptor, I was worried that their mission was all for naught. I guess I shouldn't discount Dumbledore and his men - they work together very well.
We're moving things along now. Great chapter. I can't wait to read the rest to see what else Dumbledore can manage to do to chip away at Grindelwald and Hitler's defenses.Author's Response: The more action packed chapters seem to end up being a little longer, but i hope it didn't drag at all!
Reynolds is so much fun to write, in real life a significant portion of the British Long Range Desert Group wer from Aus and NZ, so I wanted to reflect that, and he's there for some comic relief as well.
This was the first major conflict of the story, but there's plenty more to come and i hope you enjoy the rest of it!
Thanks a lot for the reviews! Report Review
Heh, Constable of Wankershire. I kind of wanted to punch his pompous grin off his face. I was amused when Dumbledore confused him and that that won the approval of the other men in his group.
Your descriptions of Cairo were wonderful, from the soldiers bustling around to the merchants trying to sell their items to the locals avoiding the reality of war. It was very well done and drew me into the story.
I really enjoyed their interaction with Isis. She was a lot like Trelawney, I think. I also like how you show Bromhead as a man who isn't afraid of anything. I'm afraid that might get him killed in the future, though.
I like that we got a glimpse of the characters on the other side too, to catch up on their progress. It makes me root on Dumbledore and Evans and hope they can get to the sceptor before the others.
The end camp scene was a nice touch. I really enjoyed how Dumbledore shared with them bits of magic and explained the parallels between the Nazis and the Death Eaters (well, Grindelwald in this situation, but it's pretty similar to Voldemort's reign later on). It really ties all the historical aspects into the wizarding world for me. I love it! I'm hoping to get around to finishing this story this summer. So look out for more reviews from me.Author's Response: Aren't British insults the best?
There's some pretty international settings in this story and I wanted to get the different settings accross, so I'm glad to hear that it seemed to work here.
Isis was meant to be a nod to Trelawney, and I wanted to convey that sense of impending doom.
There are so many parrallels between the HP bad guys and the nazis, and the history nerd in me wanted to explore that a bit more.
Thanks a lot for the review!! Report Review
Sir Albus Dumbeldore. Nice! haha
I loved how you had it end with Lily getting her acceptance letter and that little mention of Mary in there. Really this was actually a sweet and fantastic way to end the story.
Wonderful story- I've loved reading it!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Doesn't Sir Albus Dumbledore just have a natural ring to it?
I'm sure most people put 2 and 2 together about John and Daisy being Lily's parents, but I wanted to throw a surprise in just in case.
As for Duncan, when I started writing his character I wanted to give him a typical Scottish name and I had never actually heard of Mary MacDonald, but when a couple reviewers asked if he was her dad, I just decided to go with it. The rest of his story is being shown in my new story Behind the Curtain.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing the entire story! Report Review
'One does not simple walk into Nurmengard." hahaha nice Lord of the Rings reference!
On to the chapter: I must say, hand-to-hand combat was a nice touch to the Grindelwald-Dumbledore final duel! Wow, I definitely didn't expect that.
Overall, the chapter was great. Can't wait to read the epilogue!
classicblackAuthor's Response: That's probably my favorite line in LOTR and I just had to use it here, plus I could totally picture Slughorn saying it. Given Dumbledore and Grindelwald's history, I wanted to add a personal dimension to their duel and I thought having them fight hand to hand was the best way to do it. Thanks a lot for the review! Report Review
For some reason, imagining Dumbledore in a khaki uniform makes me giggle uncontrollably.
This was another fascinating chapter, and I apologize for my delay in continuing to read this story - school got in the way. Things are finally starting to get rolling! I like how everyone's beginning to plan and we get glimpses into the various people that are to be involved.
It's nice to finally see Grindewald and Hitler interact, and everyone's reactions to Dumbledore were amusing, but I'm glad they all seem to be on board and don't think he's crazy.
I wonder if there will be more from Lydia and Daisy. It was nice to see them discussing boys and all of that nonsense in the midst of the war. I have a feeling you don't introduce people for the sake of it, so I'm going to hold onto the hope that they will be coming back.
Hopefully I can get some more of this story read while I'm on spring break between completing assignments and writing my own stories. You definitely have a really interesting story on your hands with such a perfect precision, weaving history and magic together seamlessly. Well done!Author's Response: I love that image of Dumledore as well. I picture him at this age basically looking like a typical history professor definetley not fitting in with military discipline.
Grindelwald and Hitler are basically allies of convenience trying to use each other for their own ends, so hopefully that came across.
Daisy and Lydia definetely have more of a role to play.
Thanks a lot for the review! Report Review
I'm back! It's been awhile! :)
I'll jump right in
“But in your day you rode dinosaurs into battle,” said MacDonald, “Reynolds, I bet it was you, you fat Aussie wanker.”
ahahahah that's brilliant, I laughed out loud for quite a bit.
I actually quite liked this chapter. And, as I've said before, I really love the creativeness and originality of this story. It just...works. I'd really love to see what Dumbledore thinks of Tom Riddle, though, as he is in school at this time.
I really wish I could give you more than this, but I cannot. It was a really solid chapter and took nice plot steps in both the muggle and wizarding sense.
xoxo AliciaAuthor's Response: Hey welcome back! This was one of the most fun chapters to write, I'm glad you enjoyed the humor!
As for Tom Riddle, he only really has a brief mention in this story, but I hope it all fits together in the end.
Thanks for reviewing!
-James Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with the final review on this story!
Wow! This epilogue is all and much more than I expected it to be! I think the best part is that you jumped so many years and showed us their lives after so many years after the war. It was a very good way of ending an excellent story and I was really happy to read the chapter! =D
It was very nice to see John, Daisy, Roger and Lydia dining together. I think I too felt the wave of nostalgia along with them as they remembered their old mates and talked about their lives. You've done a great job in tying up all the loose ends and ending all the points excellently. Really, brilliant job in this chapter.
Aw, Lily's so cute! You've characterised her really well and I think that the fact that John sometimes thinks that she's her favorite daughter says so much about their relationship. You've made John an excellent father; the way he controls his daughters is brilliant and his response to them is just perfect =) I especially loved his feelings about the letter from Dumbledore. The fact that he would be so happy for his daughter and her abilities was a pleasant surprise for me. I think that you did and a-m-a-z-i-n-g job with his sentiments in the end! I loved it! =D
I can't believe it. This story has finally been completed and I'm writing my final review on it. It feels very weird and sad in a way but I'm very happy and proud at the same to have reviewed every single chapter of the story and made the journey of it along with you! =) Excellent job with the entire piece! Thank you for requesting this story! Until there's a next a time, Good Luck and Happy Writing! =DDAuthor's Response: Hey, its hard to believe its over already! I've never written anything anywhere close to this long before, so it seemed rather daunting when I was first starting out, but here it is!
I think most people would have guessed that John and Daisy were Lily's parents a while ago, but I wanted to make it known just in case. I picture John definetely having a closer relationship with Lily than Petunia, which I think would help explain why both of them turned out the way they were.
Also, Duncan's daughter is Mary MacDonald, one of the minor characters from the Marauder's era, which I will more than likely be writing about more. I honestly didn't know who Mary was when I started writing and I just wanted to give him a typical Scottish name, but a couple reviewers asked if they were related so I just decided to go with it.
Thank you so much for all the reviews, I really appreciate that somebody was willing to read the whole story and give such great insights, and you really have no idea just how helpful it was. Thank you so much, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!! Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your review!
Alas! The Battle! I think that this chapter is one of the finest chapters I have ever read! It reveals such complexity, such well planned details, excellent execution and just true brilliance!
The arrival of the wizards in the start was a very great idea. You wrote it all very well. The feelings Dumbledore and the others had before the new people coming in were well described and then the relief they felt after having some more support was written marvelously! =)
The Muggle fighting was, as usual, great. I had fun reading it and think that Minerva's timing was perfect. =P I'm glad she said the words Evans was trying to see, it had a funny touch to a serious scene. =P
Ever since I realised that you're gonna add this battle into your story, I've been wondering how Dumbledore would get the Elder Wand from Grindlewald without really beating him in a duel. I can see that you've thought about it a lot too and you pulled it off very well! A hand to hand compact was an excellent idea; I think that you personalised it and added your own twist to it to justify the entire situation which made the whole scene all the more thrilling to read! And the sword appearing for Dumbledore! Mm, a classic concept! Brilliant job! =)
I'm glad to see that Aberforth is now on considerably better terms with his brother. Also, the best part was that they did not truly become brothers again. As that would've clashed with the canon story.
Anyhow! Awesome chapter! It was totally better than what I had expected and I enjoyed reading it thoroughly! I can't believe that this story is coming to an end; I've reviewed every chapter of it and it feels so weird to be so close to the final goodbye. Hope you like this review! I'm looking forward to reading the epilogue! =) Happy Writing! =DAuthor's Response: Hey again!
So obviously the whole story was building up to this chapter, and I really struggles with tyring to think up how Dumbledore would win when obviously Grindelwald had the elder wand.
I knew this chapter had to be epic, and I was constantly re-writing it, worried that it wasn't quite epic enough. I'm still not sure if it is or not, but it's really reassuring to see it be received like this.
Thanks a lot for all the reviews, its much appreciated, and I hope you enjoy the ending! Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, finally here with your review! I'm so sorry for taking so long, I've been really sick.
You've done a brilliant job in this chapter! I think that you took Dumbledore's character up another notch and it was good to see how you describe his feelings so well while keeping him canon. The way you use his feelings for his family and describe his nervousness for the upcoming battle, that's pretty remarkable! I especially liked the starting and was happy to see that you included another canon character in the story. Bringing in Bathilda to actually help Dumbledore defeat her nephew was a very nice twist to the entire scenario. Excellent job!
You've put across your idea of Grindelwald very well. You did a good job in writing that scene between Grindelwald and Hitler. I think that he did right, in his own way, and left the Muggles he had no use of anymore. It gives a complete look of the Grindelwald you've been creating and finalizes his character.
Slughorn and Hagrid were so on character, I enjoyed reading them. The dialogue and the description was perfect in that scene. It's becoming pretty apparent how you're tying up all loose ends and are heading towards the end of the story. I think that you've done an excellent job in executing your story and are doing a brilliant job in wrapping it up.
Hmm, Aberforth was a very pleasant surprise. You're doing such an effortless job of fitting in the canon characters, it amazes me!
I'm loving this story and it's making sad to know that it's coming to an end! Anyway, I loved reading this chapter! Keep it up! =DAuthor's Response: Hey again, hope you're feeling better!
These last couple chapters were probably the hardest to write, trying to tie up the plot while telling Dumbledore's story, so its really reassuring to hear that turned out well.
I imagined that Grindelwald and Hitler were allies of convenience all along, so now that the nazis are losing, he would have no more use for them. Grindelwald is pretty much a master manipulator.
Glad you liked Slughorn and Hagrid, I'm trying to work in as many canon characters as I can without blatantly forcing it.
Thanks a lot for the review, and I hope you enjoy the conclusion! Report Review
Loved it. I really don't know what else to say, this really is like nothing I ever read of your's and it was brilliant. I...I really don't know what to say, I'm at that point where I'm just at a loss for words, not that I'm doubting your writing skills or anything, really all of your stories are brilliant, but I just really love this one, this one is brilliant.
Lizzie, has finished tagging you :)Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review, glad to hear you enjoyed it! Report Review
Amazing story -- thanks so much for sharing it!Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
I seldom leave reviews at the beginning of a novel on HPFF -- I usually wait until the end. But I have to say that this is one of the very best things I've read in a long, long time. I presume that the fact that you took your pen name from two African American sports heros of the 1960's and 70's that you're an adult writer, and the maturity may account for the excellent detail and historical context. But whatever the reason, the story is simply enthralling. Can't wait to finish it. Thanks for sharing it! I've always hoped someone would write the story of Dumbledore's battle with Grindlewald, and I think this may just be the story I was hoping for.Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! It means a lot to hear that its connecting with readers. Hope you enjoy the rest of it! Report Review
Hey, this is Beeezie, at long-last here with your review! (I swear I'm going to get better about filling these in a timely manner - RL has been terribly busy lately.)
The first two paragraphs made the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Well, I'm not actually sure that they did, but they felt like it. Your prose and description was terrific. I could really get a mental image and a general feeling for the place; it was almost like I was watching a movie, the picture was so vivid.
I particularly loved the juxtaposition between what the muggle world knew the area as and what was actually going on in it. It would have been a nice touch in any story, I think, but because yours focuses so heavily on the mingling of the muggle and wizarding worlds, it wasn't just elegant, it was relevant. It actually kind of brought to mind that scene from a couple chapters ago where John was wondering whether shooting the scepter would work and Reynolds actually managing to do it. I mean, they're not really the same thing, because here you're just acknowledging the muggle world, not using it as a weapon, but the fact that you treat the muggle world as present and immediately relevant is really one of the things I like best about your story.
As you moved into the meeting Grindelwald had called, you were clearly in your element (or at least, it seemed that way to me). I loved the sense of tension you were able to convey, and all those who had failed him on the previous mission was now dead anyway in particular was just a great line (though I think you mean were now dead anyway, not was). You did a great job of portraying Grindelwald's philosophy and personality as a natural part of the narrative, and I really got a sense of how he and Riddle are very different, despite both being dark wizards.
Additionally, I thought that your introduction of all of the OC wizards was brilliant; it added a lot of depth to the world, at least for me, because it alluded to a lot of little details that probably won't be very important in the overarching plot but are incredibly important in creating a complicated and three-dimensional world - something you've done a lovely job with throughout this story.
However, I did feel like the mention of Grindelwald's carving the Deathly Hallows insignia onto the ceiling of Durmstrang was a little awkward - I just wasn't sure why that, of all things, would stand out to him about the Deathly Hallows insignia. A mention of something that we know from canon is a nice touch, but I'd have preferred it to have to do with Dumbledore or something along those lines. Durmstrang just feels a little random. I also wanted a little more explanation of why being the head of the SS meant being head of the magical archaeology division, because that was a connection I didn't really understand.
The second section definitely started out a bit less strong than the first one. The phrasing in certain places was a bit more awkward (e.g., More than anything, he wished he could be back in the classroom teaching, he much preferred the beautiful simplicity of the classroom to the harsh madness of the war - there should be a period after teaching, because both halves of the sentence separated by the comma are sentences in their own right), and there were a few errors around dialogue tags (Dumbledore calmly smiled should be followed by a period, because it isn't describing how he spoke, and I'm sure you have, Horace should end with a comma rather than a period because he assured him is a dialogue tag.
I also wasn't sure I loved the way that you brought the Chamber of Secrets into it. I mean, I liked the fact that you mentioned it, because that's something I never considered but is an excellent addition for this time period, but I felt like you didn't really devote enough time to it. Maybe Dumbledore wouldn't have heard about the students getting petrified while he was abroad - he probably wouldn't have - but the way you introduced the plot point just seemed a little rushed.
John's section was fun - I loved the bit about the Spanish Armada and Queen Elizabeth, and how the other men just didn't get his joke about the British Museum. Reynolds teasing John about Daisy also fit in really well with their relationship as you've established it thus far and the fact that they're young men and young people tend to tease each other.
However, I did feel like the mechanics in this section were the weakest of the three, particularly from the point that Doge walked in. For example, I think that there are smoother ways you could get across They listened intently as he explained further - something about the sentence just feel awkward. Even something like, They stopped and looked at him, and he explained further would have sounded more natural to me. As another example, he explained as he walked towards the door - "explained" just doesn't really feel like the right word choice to me. Maybe "called," but "explained" just doesn't fit. I'm having a hard time describing what feels awkward to me about either of those or a few of the other sentences, but there's something about them that just doesn't flow naturally to me.
I'm sorry again for the terrible delay, and I hope that I was helpful.Author's Response: Hey thanks a lot for the review, and no worries about the timing.
I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the beginning. It was fun to make up names and personalities for Grindelwlad's followers since we know nothing about them.
In real life, Himmler founded a division of the SS called the Ahnenerbe that was devoted to tracking down mythical and historical artifacts, as seen in Indiana Jones.
The Chamber of Secrets presented a challenge because it is not really releated to the plot at all, however, I want to stay in canon so I cant just ignore a major event that happened. This was the best way to think of to include it without sidetracking the story too much.
Thanks for writing such an in depth review, its much appreciated. Report Review
You really had a perfect end to the story here. Very fitting. I particularly loved the scene with John and Daisy and the friends that they had kept in touch with over the years. You wrapped up all your story lines nicely and it all led into canon so very well.
My favorite part had to be this:
"John smiled as she looked up at him with her bright green eyes, he always tried to be impartial and never have a favorite daughter, but Lily made it so hard sometimes. "
This really speaks to John's character as a father, his pride and his love for his daughter. It only takes little touches like this to bring life into your characters, and I think you have succeeded with each of your characters throughout this tale.
The style you chose for this piece has a real nostalgic feel to it, which is just perfect for this type of story. I was thoroughly entertained. Congratulations on finishing a truly impressive story!Author's Response: You made it to the end!
Glad you thought the ending worked, I'm guessing mosr people put 2 and 2 together about who John and Daisy were a long time ago, but in case they didn't this might be a twist.
I imagined John was probbaly closer to Lily than Petunia, which I think would explain a lot.
Thanks a lot for the reviews! Report Review
Great to see that the cavalry arrived at last, just as Dumbledore was wondering if he had enough wizards to really do the job. It added a good amount of tension to the start of the scene. Slughorn is always the arrogant one! *shakes head*
MacDonald's line was perfect, though I wonder if Evans had words with him later for stealing his moment. I guess he was too slow! Minerva's entrance was well-placed and surprising. I had assumed that the wizards and the Muggles were focused on different sections, so when they came together, it really had an impact for me. I also appreciated the words that Dumbledore and Grindelwald exchanged, making the fight even more personal. The spells that they exchanged were great, but what really caught me off guard was the unexpected hand to hand combat that the two wizards ended up in. That was a great twist on things. We don't ordinarily get to see wizards grappling with each other. The action here was really well done.Author's Response: Welcome back again!
I wanted to add a little more drama to the build up to the battle by having some dramatic entrances. I also wanted to give Slughorn a bit of a redeeming momentby having him show up, but I think being Slughorn he would still have to get his words in. Plus I just really wanted to have him say One does not simply walk into Mordor- I mean Nurmengard haha.
Evans was greatly disapointed, and I'm sure he spent the whole flight home giving MacDonald a lecture that he undoubtably slept through. Since the Duncan/Minerva ship seems to mirror Ron//Hermione a lot, I figured they should get the same type of kiss as those two as well.
Given Dumbledore and Grindelwald's history, I wanted to add a personal dimension to their battle, and I think a hand to hand fight can capture that in a way that you cant really do with magic. It took me a long time to think about how Dumbledore would defeat grindelwald when he had the elder wand, if there should be some sort of trick or something, but in the end I think Albus just had more at stake and wanted it more.
Thanks a lot for the review! Report Review
Why dont you work on 7 years series of albus dumbledore at hogwarts. That would be great to read!Author's Response: That sounds like an interesting idea! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Report Review
You've really gone to a lot of trouble to include many canon characters. I liked the appearance of Bathilda and how she had been expecting Dumbledore. Dumbledore's stroll through the grave yard was also well done here. It was nice to see him get lost in his memories for a moment.
I liked how Grindelwald dismissed himself from Hitler's plans. I think that scene could be built up even more for greater impact, if you chose to do so. I found it interesting that you had the Muggles relaxing before the inevitable end of their war as the wizards' war was just beginning. Well okay, it wasn't just beginning, but it was certainly far from over. Anyway, it was a great contrast.
Slughorn's and Hagrid's dialogue were so well done. I was surprised at how effortlessly they popped off the screen for me. I can totally see Schwartz all bound up and being guarded by those two. And it was good that Dumbledore was able to get his brother's assistance. I'm sure he will need all the help he can get.Author's Response: Yeah I'm definetely trying to work in as many canon characters as I can, which is a bit challenging sometimes.
Yeah now that I re-read it I could have expanded that scene a little more. If you've watched those videos on youtube with that movie scene of Hitler yelling at hid generals that people change the captions too, that's pretty much the scene I was trying to recreate.
I'm glad to hear Slughorn and Hagrid were in character! Thanks a lot for reviewing! Report Review
Schwartz has quite the sense of humor. Haha! They have yeti! Who could loose with yeti on their side??? That should have been a slam dunk for them.
I loved the description you had of Patton. Seemed right fitting. Then we finally get to see Roger flying. I was hoping he'd get to do something significant soon. Your description of the bombed town was also well done. Pictures of towns just like that right after WWII were really disturbing. My mother had stories...
Awww, and the yeti didn't make it. It's sad when people don't use their resources properly. Too bad they couldn't be captured and used against the other side. That would have been cool. (I have a soft spot for fuzzy things, forgive me.) But Schwartz has surprised himself, so it turned out alright in the end. You had some great action in this chapter, with a few surprises thrown in. Lovely!Author's Response: Well Scwartz thinks he's funny, most people don't agree haha. Although it is a bit humorous that Wolfgang von Wolfsburg isn't a werewolf i will admit
I definetely wanted to work Patton in, although I watered him down just a little bit to keep things 15+
Yeah its too bad the yeti wasnt well used. I was considering giving the yeti a bigger role, but it was a little too epic for me to handle haha. (The original outline had Will Reynolds getting killed by the yeti in this chapter, but he earned a reprieve)
Thanks a lot for reviewing! Report Review
I love these brief moments between John and Daisy. It doesn't take much to paint the blooming relationship between them. Very well done!
Churchill had great lines in his scene! One of them had an asterisk by it, but there wasn't anything in the Author's Note to explain that. Was it a quote from somewhere? I loved that it was Muriel that showed up too.
Grindelwald certainly has a temper. I wouldn't have wanted to report anythingt o him either! No wonder Dietrich was so cautious. And it was funny to read about MacDonald on the broom.
Your descriptions of the Alps panorama and then pulling back into the conference room with Hitler was really well done here. Smooth! And flowy! And the action rolled on. Nice work!Author's Response: Hey again!
Yeah I think John and Daisy are pretty much perfect for each other. Glad you like them togther!
The Churchill scene was so fun to write. A couple of those quotes were things he actually said, and ooops I fogot to write the author's note I was planning to.
Grindelwald definetely int ssomebody you want to bring bad news to haha.
Glad you liked the last scene! I've been to the mountains in Germany once and it was breathtaking.
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You have a distinct style of writing that's very formal. It almost reads as a historical novel, which adds to the credibility of this story. It's really quite excellent.
I love all the characters you're introducing to us, and the banter in the beginning between the men was really well done. I love how true to the period you are. I can only imagine how desperate they are to return to safety and finally eat real food, only to be criticized upon their return for being dirty. I half wished Evans did say something to Whittington, the pig.
I'm excited to see their reactions when they find out what their mission is!
I really liked how you ended this from Dumbledore's POV, and including that memory of Grindelwald and showing how uncaring he is, really gives us an idea of what we're dealing with as an enemy. It's really great.
This story is so unique and I'm loving every bit of it. I'm glad to see it's finished - hopefully I can get around to reviewing all the chapters soon!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review! I really tried to be historically accurate, so its great to hear that its coming off that way.
Whittington is so annoying, he's basically Percy Weasley on steroids.
It was definetely a good feeling to get this finished, and I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far. Report Review
I loved the scene with the men jumping out of the airplane. I think it was your strongest descriptive moment yet, going through the motions of getting ready, following each one as they left the airplane, and then following the action along as Evans went through the air and landed on the ground. Really superb here!
I read the other reviews regarding the erumpet horns, and I must respectfully disagree with them. Even though we (the crazy HP fans) would love for you to go into more detail about why these erumpet horns behaved differently from the ones described in canon, I think that for this story, what you did was enough. They were on a battlefield, Dumbledore was giving them instructions, and quite frankly, the Muggles wouldn't care, nor would they even have known the difference. I like it as it stands.
Also loved the descriptions of the battlefield as the men made their way to their mission. It really put me in the middle of things here. I also liked that Evans had a bit of trouble with the matches. If you had taken more time with that little section, it might have heightened the suspense there.
Dietrich's reluctance to report the anomalies to Grindelwald explained a lot for me as to how Dumbledore was able to continue his missions without too much resistance. It was a great time for Dietrich to put the pieces together and investigate personally. I'm sure that the baguettes wouldn't be holding his men back for too much longer anyway. : )
I'm snickering at Dumbledore's "mighty leap" here. I know it probably wasn't meant to be funny, but a guy with a long wizardly beard leaping around the battlefield has me thinking of that scene in the Star Wars saga, where we finally get to see Yoda in a light saber duel. I laughed through that one too. Sorry! It's just me.
And of course, when MacDonald charged through the Crucio spell, that was cool! I'm glad you focused on his actions and gave Dumbledore that signature line. It was a fitting way to end the chapter!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for reviewing again!
I feel like I've gradually gotten better at writing action scenes as the story goes on, so its good to hear that you enjoyed the action here.
Thanks for agreeing with me! As much as Dumbledore likes to teach, I highly doubt he would pause in the middle of a battle to explain the properties of erumpent horns.
For the overall plot to work I had to figure out how to delay the Dumbledore/Grindelwald duel to the end of the war, since we know from the books that it happened in 1945. I thought having Grindelwald be in Russia and Dietrich trying to cover things up was the best way to accomplish this.
I picture Dumbledore in battle being very similar to Gandalf, having a nimble-ness that you would never guess from his elderly apperance. I think he also has a lot of Obi Wan in him.
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oh. So I've finally begun to read this story. I have a fic with the same title as this (mostly abandoned, I think), and so I've wanted to check this out for a long time. I really have a hard time resisting anything that combines history and HP. :P I liked this opening and am anxious to see where you go with this. The use of a question in the last line of the chapter was interesting. I liked how it sort of commands the reader to continue. interesting stylistic choice. quite clever.
I'd ramble some more here, but it's rather late and I'm sure it'd sound like key board smashing. Just know that this was highly enjoyable!
MelissaAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot for the review Melissa! and sorry if I stole your title haha. I'm really into history myself as well. From what we know about Grindelwald in canon, there seems to be so many parralells with everything that was happening with WWII, so I really wanted to explore that more. Report Review
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