Well this is Cleopatra from the forums with a review for the hooked sentence challenge. First of all, I’m so sorry for the lateness of the review but this is my exam year so I’m really busy. I really like the summary and the fact that it’s going to be about the night Alice and Frank Longbottom were attacked seeing I haven’t read anything about that yet and I like things I haven’t read yet and things that are original. Also I like the fact it’s about a minor character seeing as I love them. I like your banner btw.

Onto the hooked sentence, since that's what this challenge was all about. I think it was very fitting for this story and the mood you were going for especially because the war just ended and at a time like that you wouldn’t use something really detailed but just be relieved so I can imagine them saying that . Wow I really liked the way you used that same sentence and made something completely different from it so big kudos to you on that part. I really loved the way you used it.

I really liked it when Alice said he could get pregnant himself and he saying pensively can I do that. It made me snort and I’m sure that in the wizarding world it would be possible but after one child he wouldn’t want to continue anymore with his great plan though. I really found this touching especially as they considered Barty to be their friend I didn’t expect that little twist also I didn’t expect them bringing Neville in. I felt so sad for Alice and Frank even though I knew all would be well with Neville I still hoped they didn’t do anything to them but there are just some people who are that foul to threaten with a little child, a little baby for their twisted ideas and mind

That's about all I can think to say. This was a really a touching piece and I hope you enjoyed entering this challenge. I have to remind you off the fact you can enter as many times as you want ;P Thanks for entering my challenge and check back after the deadline to see if you've won!

Cleopatra

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Sad face. Sad story. Great job. It was very touching.

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