Well this is Cleopatra from the forums with a review for the hooked sentence challenge. First of all, Iím so sorry for the lateness of the review but this is my exam year so Iím really busy. I really like the summary and the fact that itís going to be about the night Alice and Frank Longbottom were attacked seeing I havenít read anything about that yet and I like things I havenít read yet and things that are original. Also I like the fact itís about a minor character seeing as I love them. I like your banner btw.
Onto the hooked sentence, since that's what this challenge was all about. I think it was very fitting for this story and the mood you were going for especially because the war just ended and at a time like that you wouldnít use something really detailed but just be relieved so I can imagine them saying that . Wow I really liked the way you used that same sentence and made something completely different from it so big kudos to you on that part. I really loved the way you used it.
I really liked it when Alice said he could get pregnant himself and he saying pensively can I do that. It made me snort and Iím sure that in the wizarding world it would be possible but after one child he wouldnít want to continue anymore with his great plan though. I really found this touching especially as they considered Barty to be their friend I didnít expect that little twist also I didnít expect them bringing Neville in. I felt so sad for Alice and Frank even though I knew all would be well with Neville I still hoped they didnít do anything to them but there are just some people who are that foul to threaten with a little child, a little baby for their twisted ideas and mind
That's about all I can think to say. This was a really a touching piece and I hope you enjoyed entering this challenge. I have to remind you off the fact you can enter as many times as you want ;P Thanks for entering my challenge and check back after the deadline to see if you've won!
Cleopatra Report Review
Sad face. Sad story. Great job. It was very touching. Report Review
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