I really liked the idea behind this fic. The idea of Lily hanging in limbo from the few moments between when she died and when she moved on. That's an exceptionally hard thing to write, because none of us know what happens after we die, so it's unchartered waters, we have nothing to go on, nothing at all! I thought you did a great job, how she feared for harry, and didn't want to look in case she saw him dead, how she contemplated Peter and what had happened to him. I like that you had her first thought be that he was tortured, because I think Lily, like James, would not immediately jump to he betrayed us willingly.
Anyway, really great fic, I really liked it. Just out of curiosity, is Lily your favourite character?Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I've always wondered what happened, and you get two pretty typical views. There's nothing, or you can watch over forever. I wanted to incorporate them both and make them both real, but not quite. So she wasn't watching over, but there wasn't nothing. I'm glad that you liked it!
Lily isn't! Luna is, but she is incredibly hard to write, so I tend to avoid her :P I don't want to ruin her, she's just so perfect! But whilst I don't really have an opinion on Lily in canon, she is interesting to write about! Report Review
Short stories that are this powerful sometimes work better than long stories with lots of waffely bits! It could be good to remember that because there certainly wasn't any reason to apologise for how short it was.
I really felt for Lily within this piece as she'd lost her husband, thought her son was being tortured and didn't know what to do or how to proceed. The whole idea of her wanting to know what had happened to Peter to me seems even more heartbreaking. She believed he was a friend, and someone who wouldn't betray them but I believe that especially in the wizarding world there was a conciousness after death so I hope they found out that he was a traitor.
I also like the fact of her drifting away into the nothingness and moving on. It was very symbolic and I really enjoyed it!Author's Response: I think this was my first story that was this short, but I've since decided I prefer writing them this length!
From what we see in Deathly Hallows, I have always imagined there to be a way for those who have died to watch over those still alive, so I do believe that Lily found out Peter was a traitor. At the same time, I kind of imagine it all to be like the King's Cross scene where they can choose to watch over everyone, or they can go on. So, in a way, how I wrote this leaves Lily not knowing. I think I just confused myself.. :P
Thank you so much for the review!! Report Review
Why hello Amy :P
This...wow. This was just amazing. Some of this was absolutely brilliant, particularly the part about 'white nothingness' and the few lines after it. You've done a wonderful job at creating an emotional one shot - no real 'plot' or characters in the normal sense, but an engaging read none the less.
This drew me in from the start. Instantly we were thrown into the tense atmosphere, and the worry. I held my breath for a fair bit, actually. I felt so bad for Lily, yet at the same time, she has to move on. She wants to go back, to see Harry again...but she can't. In the end, she moves on, and I felt relief, as you intended. You did a marvellous job hun, this is a stunning one shot :) Especially since if I hadn't read the story info, I wouldn't have known it was Lily. I love stories like that :P
Merry Christmas! *hug*Author's Response: HOOLIA!
Aww, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!
I hope you didn't hold your breath for too long ;) Wouldn't want you dying on me now, would I? :P I'm so glad that you liked it! THANK YOOU!! :D
Merry christmas! *snuggles* Report Review
Wow, this was amazing. The descriptions were awesome. I also loved the length. I like short things because I have a short attention span. Overall great job!! 10/10
~Levana *squishes!!!*Author's Response: LEVANA! HEY! *hugs*
Aww, thanks!! I'm glad you liked it :D I like short things too!! :D
*squishes* Report Review
OMG I really like this! It's so deep and I actually felt that pressured feeling you have when you're confused and lost. Great job Amy this story if fantastic!! love it =D
-valerie..=]Author's Response: Thanks :D I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Another review coming up for another great story :)
Again you jump straight in, and again you manage to grab the reader's attention right from the start.
"I need to get back." - BAM! A simple, but somehow powerful sentence that screams despair and sets the tone nicely for what is to come.
"He hasn't come through, he must be alive." - I can picture Lily looking around frantically for a sign of Harry, then see a flicker of hope appear on her face when she doesn't see him and concludes he's alive.
"But how? How could he be?" - Her face falls as the hope turns to doubt.
"Even putting myself between them won't have stopped him." Her shoulders slump in resignation, and I want to grab her and tell her it did stop him!
"I need to know that he is safe, that he is ok." Pleading with a touch of hope and determination. Maybe she heard me after all?
"Maybe it's being delayed, maybe he is being tortured." No Lily, don't lose hope again :(
"I hope he isn't, I can't bear to think what he might be going through." Her face screws up as if she's in physical pain as she imagines all the terrible things that may be happening to Harry. I just want to hug her and tell her everything is OK.
"He's just a child. My child." My heart breaks with hers...
You manage to evoke a rollercoaster of emotions and conjure up a flurry of images in my mind to accompany them. And this is just the first paragraph! It continues all the way to the end. The interesting thing is that it's a mix of both Lily's emotions and mine: as I read each sentence, I feel her confusion and despair as if it were my own, as if I were her. But once I've reached the end of the sentence, I kind of become aware of my own self, and knowing the entire story, my emotions obviously differ from Lily's. And that somehow makes everything even more heart-breaking, even frustrating in a sense, because I know that Harry survives and her despair is unnecessary. It's the same with the images. At first I see the scene through her eyes: whiteness, nothingness, memories flashing before her or rather my eyes. And then it's as if I'm standing next to her, seeing her surrounded by white nothingness, but she herself is clearly visible to me, as you can tell from my descriptions above. It's an interesting experience: that has never happened to me before when reading fanfiction and I'm not sure how you exactly you manage to make me feel and see that way, but you do!
Other random thoughts:
- Gosh, Lily is just too sweet for her own good. The way she considered that Pettigrew may have been hurt or tortured just makes me even more angry at him. He doesn't deserve her concern *cries* But of course it's totally like her to always try and see the good side in people, so great characterisation there!
- At some point in the first half of the story, not quite sure where anymore, I pictured Lily as having a very childlike look on her face. And then I came to the part where she says "I want my mum." and thought that was so sweet (yet heart-breaking). How did you know I'd be picturing her like that? Are you a seer?
- The bit about the reincarnation totally took me by surprise. Once again you managed to include a thought that would never have occurred to me. Now I'm wondering what would have happened if she had been reincarnated.
- I just realised: Volatile was about the last moments before death. This is about the intermediate stage between life and death. Will we be seeing a story about life after death from you?
Wow, this has gotten very long again. I usually never write such long reviews, you're getting a totally wrong impression of me :P
But there's one more thing I have to tell you before I sign off: I absolutely loved the way you drew a parallel to Harry's limbo experience by including the questions "Is it all in my head?" and "Is this real?"Author's Response: Omg Pia, I love you more than in the last review!! :D I haven't been replying to it because I loved looking at it every time I checked my unanswered reviews! (Which I do several times a day :P)
Wow, I'm surprised just how much you could picture her just out of the simple, small sentences I used. While I was going for that effect, I never thought I could actually do it!
I'm not a seer as far as I know. Though I was asked that a few days ago too! Maybe I am... *hides* :P A story about life after death? Hmm, you will have to wait and see for that. *plot bunnies form in my head*
I don't mind long reviews! In fact, I love them!!! Thank you soo sooo so much!!! :D You had me in tears of happiness reading this! *hugs* Report Review
I absolutely adore this one-shot of yours! I love how you portraited Lily's thought and emotions and described everything! :D Awesome job, Ams!!
-Maria (:Author's Response: Awww, thank you!! =D Report Review
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