Reading Reviews for Pink Eyes
  
60 Reviews Found

Review #1, by onestop_hpfan18 Pink Eyes

24th September 2013:
Here to review from the review tag on the forums. I thought this was sweet and I like the tone you've given Teddy: Sarcastic and all boy. There were some formatting issues with spacing throughout that distracted me from the writing, but other than that it was a cute and fun piece.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you liked the chapter and thanks for letting me know about the spacing xD I'll fix that! Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #2, by StellaRose Pink Eyes

6th September 2013:
It's Emmy again from the claw thread :)

Your plot in this is pretty simple, Teddy likes Vic but is scared to loose their friendship. He becomes brave and kisses her and realizes everything will be okay. This same little plot repeats itself twice and works well in my opinion. It reinforces that no matter what hiccups they may have in their relationship one kiss may be all it takes for them to realize what they really feel. Or...that may just be me over analyzing everything way too much :) Either way, I think this is a great one shot!

I do have a suggestion with this quote, 'enormous beams of depression'. To me, you can't shoot beams of depression but depression is an overall state of being. You could shoot beams of anguish or despair though.

The first three paragraphs were a little hard to read because the sentences were so short. I understand why you wrote it that way but I think a few could stand to have more description so that they flow better. Besides those however, the rest of your piece was great!

Hands down favorite quote, I laughed out loud and even had to go back and read it a second time.

"The only thing my parents left me are a tendency for undercooked meat and a body that changes at the slightest whim or emotion."

lol. Poor Teddy.

I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Keep up the good work! :)

--Emmy

Author's Response: Hi! I'm really glad you liked this oneshot as much as I liked writing it :)

The "depression" suggestion (rhyming, you got more than you bargained for with this response eh? xD) was very valid! And the sentence lengths too, thank you very much!

Thank you for the lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #3, by 800 words of heaven Pink Eyes

16th August 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

So this was a little piece of wonderful! The thing I love most about your writing is that you have this great knack for writing very realistic characters. The way Teddy's feelings grew from infatuation, to love, to mild obsession, to acceptance (does the last even make sense? I'm making it sound like he's going through the five stages of grief) was just great.

I also liked that Victoire seemed interested in other dudes. We sometimes forget that these characters are pretty young, and those who find their soulmates or whatever whilst at school are super lucky, it often doesn't happen like that. You really captured the teenage experience and what it was like to be in love for the first time, and feel a little confused at all the new feelings.

So I reckon I've rambled incoherently for long enough! But once again - amazing work!

Author's Response: Hi! :D Aw, what a nice review! I'm so glad you liked it. Writing Teddy was nice, I'd never written as a boy's POV before so it was different but nice :)

Thank you very much for the lovely review! :D


 Report Review

Review #4, by blackballet Pink Eyes

12th August 2013:
This story is so great! I loved the pink eyes part of the story. I also liked how you portrayed Teddy and Victoire's relationship. Teddy reminds me very much of Remus, and Victoire of Fleur. Great job with this!

blackballet

Author's Response: Hi! What a nice review! Thank you so much for the kind words :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by purplepotter77 Pink Eyes

7th July 2013:
Teddy/Victoire is one of my favorite next generation pairings, and I think you've written it really well here.

I really like your writing style in this story. I think that you had just the right balance of characterization and plot and fluffiness. Teddy was a great narrator. I loved his jokes and commentary about what happens in his life, but he also has a lot of depth below that and I think that's shown as well.

Another thing that I liked about your story was how their relationship didn't work out very well the first time they tried. In most stories, the pairing usually always works out the first time and stays together for a long time, and I liked how your story didn't have that. It would have been a tad unrealistic for them to work out immediately at the ages of around 14 and 16, and I think a lot of fanfics have characters that work out well around that age even though in real life, it doesn't always end up that way.

A few things I think you could have elaborated more on were Victoire's characterization and a bit more on how/the reason for why their relationship dissolved the first time after going back to Hogwarts. Overall, though, I loved this story and I think you did a great job!

(Also, can I just say how adorable Hugo was? :D)

Author's Response: Hi! :D Thank you for this great review!

I'm really glad you liked Teddy's character and the narration :) I really wanted it to be realistic in terms of their relationship cause like you said, it doesn't always work out first time :) Especially if they're friends before.

Thank you for your tips and your constructive help :) And for your review!


 Report Review

Review #6, by APerkins Pink Eyes

27th June 2013:

Thankyou thankyou thankyou!
Im not really into romance, especially not fics that revolve around romance, and I had kinda gone into this with trepidation. (followed your meet the author page after trying to review the joker for the review tag post and realising I need to read the entire thing before I do because you really need reviews in the later chapters not the earlier ones, and then noticing a lot of people praising Pink Eyes.)

But it was funny! And totally relate-able!

And who wouldn't want to shoot flaming pronged instruments at ...
But I wont go there.
Sometimes Im too much of a Slytherin to handle.

Some of your lines are just stuck in my head, even after the one brief read.
Loved it, loved it, and really impressed with the way you made a normal story out of such a weird challenge!

Liked the internal dialogue. Liked it a lot. Funny, real and not too soppy or pathetic.
Format wise, was there a reason the paragraphs had extra lines between them towards the end? (Im guessing to give the reader thinking time, or establish time passing or contemplation or something? It works, I just dont know if its the right thing to do.)
Only other comment would be the use of the word laid in the sentence we laid there together.
Im not great on grammar, so Im probably the one in the wrong here, but I would say lay. I dont know if both are acceptable, or Im just plain wrong (us aussies are pretty slack on grammar- its probable) so I thought Id ask. Then, if you are confident your usage is correct, I can learn something too :)
Thankyou for such an awesome story.
Oh PS. Loved that Hugo was in the story.
Favourite part was Teddy not being able to control his metamorphmagus abilities, (but Vic not realising it wasn't deliberate!)

Anthea

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the review! :) And I'm just off to respond to your MTA questions now :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed Pink Eyes! I didn't want it to be too soppy, I like more realistic romances. And I'm glad you liked Teddy and Hugo!

Thanks for the grammar thing, I'm not great with it either but I will check it out :)

Thank you very much again for the lovely review:)


 Report Review

Review #7, by Phoenix_Feather123 Pink Eyes

25th June 2013:
I actually really liked this oneshot! I loved how you showed Teddy and victoire when they were younger, and I liked the ending.

I thought this was a nice little oneshot and I will be sure to check out your other story.

Author's Response: Hi! That's so sweet, thank you very much for your review :) And I hope you like my other story if you read it!

 Report Review

Review #8, by PitchBlue Pink Eyes

17th June 2013:
Hello!

I read your oneshot a few days ago (as you recommended it) and I told you I liked it but didn't leave a review, and that's not very nice of me so here I am!

As I said, I really loved this. I haven't read many Teddy/Victoire stories but I think it's an interesting pairing, and I liked what you did with it. Some parts, like when Teddy defends her really got me all 'aw'. The story flow was very good, wonderful dialogue and just overall a very lovely oneshot :) Thanks for recommending it!

- PB

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for taking the time to review this xD It's very kind.

Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you liked it :) Thank you again!


 Report Review

Review #9, by Remus Pink Eyes

18th May 2013:
Heya!

Perelandra here from the forums! :D

Just so you know the idea of "shoot flaming forks at someone with his wand" sounds like something I would've loved to do/think back in my teens. I wouldn't mind that happening now as an 'adult' though but not for 'love' or 'jealousy' reasons. Hahaha!

The first thing that made me love this is the imagery you have. Just how he describes the feeling of being rejected is both funny and so true!

Glad that Hermione makes the children work without magic. Haha, its so like her to do something like that.

I like how you have Teddy change without meaning to. Just like there are people out there whose eyes change with the weather and feelings, Teddy here has his whole appearance change. As cools as it may be sound, it must be a complicated to live with.

It sometimes feels like the only things my parents have left me are a tendency for undercooked meat and a body that changes at the slightest whim or emotion.---I laughed with that line and at the same time I found myself 'awwing' at it. I mean, he almost sounds resentful towards his parents but I'm sure he would've loved to meet them.

Teddy's personality and character is what got me sucked into the story. He sounds like a perfect teenager who is being way too dramatic about his feelings, specially his jealousy. The one thing I wish I could've seen here is a physical change when in a bout of jealousy. He changes without meaning to when around Vic but why not when he's jealous about Victoire? Just wondering though, nothing big! XD

The end was so cute! You did a fantastic job at imagery and just overall story telling! I'm not a huge Vic/Teddy fan but you managed to get me to like their relationship! Thank you for letting me read this. I really enjoyed it! :)

Until next time

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much!

You know it makes sense for him to turn green or something when he's jealous xD I never thought of that, so thanks for pointing it out!

Thank you for your review and I'm so glad you liked it :)


 Report Review

Review #10, by marauder5 Pink Eyes

5th May 2013:
Review tag!

This was one of the better Victoire/Teddy stories I have read! I love them as a couple, and I absolutely love your portrayal of Teddy here. He's so sweet, but he also has some flaws. He's jealous (But who wouldn't be? That's the love of his life, at least in my head, with another guy!) The moment when they first kissed was so sweet, and I think it was realistic that it didn't work out the first time they tried. Not many people live happily ever after at fourteen and sixteen, right? But of course that Simon guy wasn't right for her. I'm glad that she realized that.

I think that you've added some really great details that makes this story even better. The part with the pink eyes, both when they reveal Teddy's feelings, and in the end when he decides that he likes them, is absolutely perfect, and a brilliant way of using Teddy's metamorphmagus skills!

I also think that you use imagery in a perfect way. This sentence stood out to me: "it was like I could feel our friendship leaking out of us to die on the ground." It's a perfect way of describing it, and quite original. You have a really appealing writing style.

So to sum things up: I absolutely loved this. Even if I could, I wouldn't change anything about this story!

Author's Response: Hi!

Wow, what a great review! I'm so glad you liked it.

Usually I don't get a lot of comment on my imagery, so I really thank you for telling me you like it :)

Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #11, by soapman333 Pink Eyes

28th February 2013:
What an adorable one-shot!

The flow of your story was just perfect. It wasn't too fast/too slow, and the ending left me wanting more :D

I really like your writing style. You have a talent of describing your characters in such a way where I was content with the information given, but I also wanted to keep reading to see how they develop.

Your characters are very interesting. Everything was given from ole' Teddy-bear's perspective so all the good traits about Victoire were brought out to make her seem like a perfect person (as anyone with a huge crush does) and all of the bad traits of Prangs were amplified to make him seem like the epitome of a jerk (like we all view the people we dislike). It was all brilliant!

Victoire here is a very independent and strong minded girl! Even I had a bit of a crush on her ;)

Teddy is intriguing to me. I didn't necessarily like him, but I respected what he had to say. I think I lost interest in him when he labelled Victoire as his own. So, it's a vastly different vision of the kid, and I find that to be interesting! Oh and the fact that he doesn't have control over his metamorphagus (I think I slaughtered that spelling), it gave him a quirk that I just enjoyed reading.

My favourite character is Hugo...I know he was seven, and his only purpose in this one-shot was to show how immature Teddy is, but, come on. He's a little firecracker! Stealing his father's wand?! Epic!

This was a very sweet story :)
Thanks for sending it to me,
soapman333

Author's Response: Hi! I really wanted to get a guy's perspective on this story, cause it's quite fluffy.

I find it interesting you didn't like Ted. When I wrote it I wanted to make him sympathetic with his somewhat different way of persuing Victoire, but kind of iffy with how he goes about it. In real life, nobody makes grand speeches and professions of love. Sometimes people are a little unhealthy about it xD

Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #12, by Courtney Dark Pink Eyes

11th February 2013:
You have no idea how unbelievably glad I was when I saw your new request in the thread. I had no idea you'd written a second story and it really made my day to realize I'd get to read more of your fantabulous writing.

I actually really love the Teddy/Victoire pairing, though I've never plucked up the courage to write one myself as I've read so many great ones that I'm not sure mine could compare. Yours, however, most certainly does. And I also think you dealt with the prompt you were given extraordinarily well.

I loved the way you began this one-shot with the paragraph: 'It sometimes really sucks Pygmy Puffs when you have these increasingly intense feelings for someone, and they donít return them. Actually, not sometimes...itís pretty much eternal, soul destroyingly awful all the time. Itís like being eaten by a hippogriff that has flaming insides' not only was it a comedic and hooking way to begin this story but it was also completely relatable, and immediately made me connect with Teddy and imagine myself in his situation.

I don't think I've ever read a version of Teddy where he is in Slytherin, so that was definitely very interesting. I loved your characterization of him, especially how he was so protective of Victoire. His reaction to seeing Prang with Victoire was absolutely perfect, and definitely brought out his 'macho' side.

I also loved the way Teddy described Prang as 'a posh, stuck-up, pretty boy, burly boyfriend-Beater-on-the-Gryffindor-Quidditch-team.' His jealousy was very clear, and I was left wondering what would happen between them next.

The Cottage scene was very cute-I loved the chemistry between your two main characters-but I have to admit I got a little confused about the timeline, though that was probably just me and the fact that I should really be in asleep right now in a nice cozy bed.

But reading fanfiction is so much more fun!

Anyway, I really enjoyed this one-shot overall, and I hope to see more of your writing soon!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: xD I was so sad after I received your last review and I thought, "Wait! I've got Pink Eyes for her to review!" and cue maniacal laughter.

Aww, I'm really glad you like this too. I've had some problems with it, I think I'm more comfortable with extended stories over a long time xD Squishing this into a oneshot was difficult, but rewarding.

It's also much more fluffy and sweet than 'Joker,' some immediate romantic payoff xD Which you will get soon, I promise!

Thank you very much for your review :)


 Report Review

Review #13, by Roots in Water Pink Eyes

8th December 2012:
Hello! Since I've already reviewed every chapter of "The Joker and Her", I've picked this story to review for the Holiday Swap!

Wow- it's amazing how different your style is here from your other story and just how well you wield both styles. This story was a great blend of fluff and humour (which is also included in your other story, but not to so great an extent).

Teddy was fantastic as your narrator. He was full of small jokes and funny imagery and his voice showed wonderfully depth at the same time it showed that he was an adolescent. It was very interesting to see his thoughts on Tonks and Remus and how his life turned out; I have always pictured that he would live largely with Harry and become a part of the Weasley family and it's nice to see that we share the same headcanon. :)

It was amusing to see Teddy say that he had "calmed down" and then snarl at Hugo in the next instant. Perhaps that was his version of "calmed down" or perhaps the sight of Hugo returned him to his enraged state. Either way, it was quite funny!

I have two very small pieces of criticism: I found the timing of this piece a little unclear. At the beginning of the story Teddy says that it's been a year since their breakup but as the story progressed it seemed like it was only the September/October that they broke up. Did a year pass between their break up and the beginning of Victoire's relationship with Prang? It would be great if that section could be clarified a little.

Secondly, though I love the ending, I think that it would flow more smoothly if you changed "I think it suits me" to "It suited me". The repetition of "I think" was slightly jarring.

All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this fluffy and very cute piece. I loved your characterization of Teddy in it and I do hope that Victoire and Teddy are soon going to resume their relationship. In my very humble opinion they're fantastic together. Great work! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it took so long for me to respond to this review, I usually do it immediately.

I'm so glad you like it! I wrote it on a whim for a Challenge when I was feeling a little blockage for 'Joker' so I'm happy it seems to be just as good :)

Thank you for the tips, both of them are very relevant and I will see what I can do to improve those bits :) Thank you!

Thank you for the review!


 Report Review

Review #14, by True Author Pink Eyes

13th November 2012:
Loved this! :D
Teddy Lupin is one of my favorite next-gen characters, but there aren't many good stories about him. so I'm glad I've found a nice funny story about him haha! Anyways, I was attracted towards this because of the title. It's so perfect for this fic! =]
Pink eyes!! I laughed when I imagined them! And Teddy thinks they suit him?? I have a doubt. ;)

Anyways, a nice story! =]

Author's Response: Hi! Aw, thanks very much for your review, and I'm really glad you liked it :)

 Report Review

Review #15, by charlottetrips Pink Eyes

30th September 2012:
That was actually adorable and sweet. It really makes me want to go eat something salty to compensate for the sugar running through my veins! Teddy's utter cuteness about not being able to control his metamorphagus abilities around Victoire is just too much to bear. I actually wish more boys were like that! It'd be a lot easier to see what they were thinking and stop making us so confuzzled all the time :)

In this surprisingly light and funny story, you slipped in this line that managed to touch somewhere deeper: It sometimes feels like the only things my parents have left me are a tendency for undercooked meat and a body that changes at the slightest whim or emotion. Okay, and a peaceful world. - but you did it without taking away from the overall tone of the story. That's something that can throw me off from a story - the author tries to put all sorts of tones in a one-shot and it just does not work. But you acknowledged the sadness that will always come with Remus and Tonks' death without lingering there.

Teddy's noble defense of Victoire after she'd spurned him for big muscle man was nicely done. Although, I would've liked to have more of a handle on her character and motivations, I understand you can be a bit limited with a one-shot told in 1st person. It worked but that's just something to think with in the future, should you tackle one-shots sometime soon. I can see that you're a bit busy with your main story which perhaps I'll check out sometime!

Char

Author's Response: Hi! I hope it wasn't too sweet xD I'm really glad you liked it, and I'm going to go through it again to tighten up Victoire and Simon's characters :) Thank you for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #16, by pennyardelle Pink Eyes

17th September 2012:
Hey! Here's your requested review, as promised. :)

I see this was written for a challenge, and I think you worked the prompts in very well. The flaming forks might have been hard to work in, but I think you did it really well.

This was a nice little look at Victoire and Teddy's relationship. It was well-written, Teddy had a nicely developed voice, and I enjoyed the fact that we get to see a nice guy finishing first.

Your main concern was that the story was "missing" something, and nothing really stuck out to me as lacking as I read it. The only thing I can think of that might come across as "missing" is a real understanding of Victoire's motivations, which I guess you can't avoid that much when you're writing in first person. She came off as slightly callous, first in the fact that she kind of ditched Teddy, and second, in the fact that she ditched him for someone who was clearly so repulsive as a person. It doesn't really say much about her character, but then, everything that Teddy describes about her makes her seem so wonderful. It's a bit of a mis-match, I think. Maybe there's something missing emotionally there? It could be that we just need to hear Teddy say a bit more about Victoire's mindset, or have her explain herself at the end. Even if Prang was a little more complex, and not villainized from the start, it might help. That's the only thing that came to mind, though.

I really liked some of your lines. This was probably one of my favourite parts: "It sometimes feels like the only things my parents have left me are a tendency for undercooked meat and a body that changes at the slightest whim or emotion. Okay, and a peaceful world." It was a bit funny, a bit irreverent, but also touching. :)

I hope this review was helpful in some way. Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Hi! Your review is definetely helpful. It's certainly a good idea to try and characterise Victoire and Prang more, and it would make the oneshot longer too :) I'm really glad you liked it overall :) Thank you for your review!

 Report Review

Review #17, by Jchrissy Pink Eyes

7th September 2012:
Aww this was such a mixture of sweet and borderline angsty. I like that Teddy and Vic didn't have an easy start, and while he was so sure of what he wanted, she was still trying to figure out who she was.

The details you added were really great, where they spent Holidays, the way their families worked, the house that the Weasley's lived in... I just loved how much you seem to know your story.

I totally feel for Teddy hating is 'gift' well I guess not feel for, because I have no idea, but I think you made it clear how annoying it could be. Could you image trying to do something serious and sprouting blue or pink hair?

One of my favorite things about this was that you just dropped us in and gave us a glimpse. You showed us a piece of them, and didn't tell us how they became such good friends nor where they went from here, you just gave us a window and it was perfect.

Loved this one shot, it gave me all sorts of happy feels!

Author's Response: Hi! Aww, that's so sweet! Everything you said in this review is what I was hoping for in this story, and it makes me so glad that you enjoyed it :) Thank you for your review!

 Report Review

Review #18, by AlAndAl Pink Eyes

4th September 2012:
Teddy is adorable. I love him.
This story is very funny, yet very passionate, which is very hard to do, but you succeeded.
I love the way Teddy protects Victoire and proves his affections.
One thing that you could try and work on, is the interaction between Victoire and Simon. At first I thought they were dating, but then realized they weren't and I was a little confused. Clearing that up would help a lot. Also, maybe a bit more of an explanation as to why Teddy's eyes turn pink.
Otherwise, this is a brilliant story. Good job :)
-Allie

Author's Response: Hi! :) Aw, thank you very much! Teddy's eyes turn pink because he loves Victoire xD Thanks for saying about Victoire and Simon, I'll try to clear that up when I can :) Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Cleopatraa Pink Eyes

3rd September 2012:
I actually liked your title even though it was really simple. It caused me to want to read this. I liked your characters in this story. They were rather likeable and you could notice the fact they were teenagers. I liked the fact Teddy couldnít control his abilities and the way he thought about this parents ( him liking undercooked meat and Tonks ability). The descriptions were great and I liked those little irrelevant details, they made the story more realistic. It was also nice that it was from a guyís perspective as most of the time itís from a girl. So that made your story more unique. It was an adorable one-shot and your chapter image was beautiful

Author's Response: Hi! Oh, thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it and thought that the title wasn't boring xD Thanks again for your review!

 Report Review

Review #20, by xximaginairexx Pink Eyes

28th August 2012:
Hmmm...usually I don't read Teddy/Victoire, but this was pretty good. I really liked it. The one thing that I thought you could change is when you said: I felt myself calming down - and then the next sentence Teddy snarled at Hugo to take his wand back to his father. I think you either need to take out the snarled part, or take out the calm down part - it would make more sense.

But I really liked it.

~xximaginairexx (who is too lazy to log in)

Author's Response: :D Hi! Thank you very much for your review, and for your suggestion! I'm glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #21, by ILOVEMRMEN Pink Eyes

24th July 2012:
I kinda like it, I mean I love Teddy and Vic as couple but I think that you should have taken there feeling a bit slower. But then again that is just my opinion and I am not the writer you are. You are a great writer but I just thought that you would like some feedback other then readers telling you how great they think your are... well your story.

Author's Response: :D Hi! Thank you for your comments, I love feedback whatever the kind!

 Report Review

Review #22, by SexyDoorFrames Pink Eyes

25th March 2012:
Hey :) Tagging you from the forums :)

I really liked this. I adored your take on Teddy, he comes across so clearly and I think you've done really well with him. HIm and Vic were so adorable, like literally the most sweetest thing ever. I liked the fact that it had a happy ending, but still left things pretty open, it felt more realistic to me. I liked how Teddy wasn't able to control his metamorphic abilities, it would be awkward to have your hair and eyes always revealing what you really felt, but I found it interesting part of his character. In all, I really liked reading this.

Author's Response: :) Wow, thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, thank you very much for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #23, by blueirony Pink Eyes

4th February 2012:
I don't know if you have already tightened up the description in the time between you requesting your review and now (which wouldn't surprise me since it's been a few centuries since you requested) but I honestly didn't find anything too flowery in this.

I was fully prepared before I came in and started reading this. I was on the lookout for long sentences, too many commas, too many semi-colons and anything that might have been venturing into purple prose. I didn't find anything.

And I think I know why.

This was in first person. It's really hard to make something really flowery when it is in first person. Especially when you're writing form the point of view of a sixteen year old guy.

So, really? Don't worry about the description. It's absolutely fine. It isn't too heavy, there is nothing that drags on, I'm not left wondering at your metaphors and wondering what the flecks of a person's eyes and a lightning bolt have in common and I am not itching for some dialogue or line breaks to give me some relief from the description. None of that is there. It's an easy read, it's not suffocating and I really enjoyed it.

I love Teddy's character in this. His character comes across so clearly. First person is a tricky thing. If you forget to actually put parts of the character into the story, then it just reads as a person saying "Then I went here and then I met her and then I said and then we walked and then I went to class and then the teacher did this and then we walked out again and then I laughed" and yeah. You get the idea. You didn't do that. There was so much of Teddy in this. He was adorable in this. In a boyish way. Some of the things he said really made me laugh and I can tell you had fun with his character.

And, of course, I now come to the romance bit. I have to sigh here.

Sigh.

Le sigh.

He and Victoire in this are adorable. Like, as in, I want to pick them up and put them in my pocket or gather them up in a hug and squeeze the living daylights out of them and then pinch their cheeks. SO. DARN. CUTE. You did well in them. They're so lovely in their teenage love and kissing and hand holding and just, le sigh. Again.

I also liked how you didn't try to put an entire story into this one shot. A lot of writers would have tried to make it a bit too much of a happy ending with Teddy and Victoire definitely together, but I think you kept things a bit more real in this. It wouldn't have been right for them to jump into a full blown relationship so soon and that's what I liked about it. It has a happy ending without being sappy and unrealistic.

This was just so cute. And, of course, really well written.

Good job!

Joop.

Author's Response: Hi! :) Wow, I wasn't expecting this! I don't generally expect reviews for this (I'm so engrossed in Joker) and I completely forgot that I requested you xD It was a very pleasant surprise!

Thank you for everything you said about it! I was sure you'd think there would be something wrong about it, this being my second favourite story and you my favourite reviewer xD But alas! It's made my day that you like it :) Thank you so much!


 Report Review

Review #24, by Rosethorne Pink Eyes

2nd February 2012:
Hi It's Rosem here with your review:)

I absolutely love this:) I loved the end and the bit with his eyes! I don't really read many stories after Hogwarts, but this was written really well. Like someone else suggested I really think you could turn this into a longer work. I would love to know what happened. There wasn't really anything to comment on with your Grammar and such, it's pretty much spot on and I think with your description it's made the flow and pacing about right. Really good story, I hope you write more:)

Author's Response: Hi! :) Thank you very much for reviewing, it's a huge compliment that you would like to read more, but currently my other project is my main priority writing-wise :) Feel free to check it out! And thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #25, by Moonyxluna Pink Eyes

30th January 2012:
Tag :)
Aw, I loved this! I liked how Teddy wasn't able to control his metamorphic abilities, it would be difficult to have your hair and eyes always revealing what you really felt!

This was very very well written, I really enjoyed reading it. The kisses were very sweetly written, I think I said "Awhh" out loud every time. Great job, 10/10

Author's Response: Hi! :D Thank you for reviewing, I'm really glad you liked it!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>