Reading Reviews for Liability Control
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by poobear Arthur: A Father's Grief

24th July 2014:
Hi just wanted to say this is such a great story iam sooo hook't its unreal. Great story line and very good writeing your very good please keep it up as i saw there was quite a gap from when you started so i carnt wait for the next chapter and hope its a long story you have plan'd ??. Anywho take care and defo keep it coming all the best. Bruce

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Review #2, by lindslo2012 Molly: An Ordinary Day

13th July 2014:
WOW. This is amazing! I'm here for your requested review and I am so sorry it took so long...
I was like completely into your chapter from the very beginning. One, I love stories about all of the characters, two, it was just greatly put together and the plot is very very great! And I already can't wait to read more.
I love reading stories about the characters of the HP series because I feel like I can imagine exactly what they are doing after the war and after JKR ended her last book. I think my favorite part was about the table- that was hilarious! That sounds just like Percy to go buy a horrible and ugly table and place it in their bedroom for gosh sakes :)
I am quite liking your story so far and please come back to re-request!!!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

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Review #3, by jessicalorewrites Molly: An Ordinary Day

11th July 2014:
Hey! I'm here because you requested a review on my thread :) So sorry this is so late, I'm constantly forgetting to check that page!! Anyway, I'm here and reading and reviewing now so :p

First off, I love the fact that this is told from Molly's POV. Not many fics really follow her perspective, especially not longer ones like this, so it was a nice change. I can see from the other chapters that it won't only be her though and in a way I'm glad. Sometimes it's nice to get different people's takes on different events!

This was a brilliant start to a mystery novel. At first I thought everything was a little too peachy for it to be classified as that yet but damnnn -- that last line! Oh my god, I'm reeling. It's like I need to read on but I also need to review and -- merlin, I just need to know what on earth's going on with Ginny right now!! Though there's obviously not much horror/dark themes in this chapter I can already tell you're going to be fab at writing it.

Since you also wanted me to take a look at Americanisms you'll be glad to know I didn't pick any out that I noticed :)

I really do hope you start writing this again!! It seems set up to be incredibly thrilling.

xo

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Review #4, by emmacweasley Kingsley: Not Exactly In My Job Description

6th July 2014:
Sorry I'm so late for the review swap! I've just joined up on Pottersworld and I got a little distracted . but oh my GOODNESS! This is quite an original idea, and such a great execution of it. I'm loving the characterization and the plot so far. Even Kingsley is such a full character already! Even though I suspected it from the moment Ginny was in mortal peril, Ginny's death was still a great punch in the story (not that I love it when Ginny dies, absolutely not, she's one of my favorites! Just that it was a great plot twist.) It is a little hard to believe that Molly would immediately jump to conclusions with Harry, especially since they can probably very quickly get the fingerprints/magical imprint off of the knife, but I think your story sets up a believable reality to let this happen this way, so it definitely works. Great job so far - I look forward to reading the rest!

Author's Response: Hey! That's totally okay, I'm on pw too so I can understand that getting distracting at times. Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you think it's original and that it's working well. Yeah... I haven't really gotten into the forensics of this but I promise I will explain it in more detail in a few chapters. I'm glad that you think that this is a believable reality anyway. Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!
~ Meg


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Review #5, by lumos_knox Hermione: Just Another Manic Monday

3rd July 2014:
AMAZING! This is pure magic, this story!!! Please keep updating, I really need to know what happens next.

Every thing in here is absolutely perfect. Your grammar and spelling (thank goodness) is spot on. It's such a breath of fresh air to read something properly edited.

Beautiful writing. The plot is so intense. Poor Harry. And Ginny. And everyone! Molly? What is she thinking!?

PLEASE update again soon. Love this.

-lumos_knox

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad that you think so! The plan is to have regular updates (the next chapter is in the queue and I'll be writing the one after that tomorrow :P ) so please do check back ^_^ I love to get any kind of feedback so thank you so much for your kind review!

The fact that you didn't spot any spelling or grammar issues made me smile. This is one of a handful of times I've flown solo without a beta so I'm really glad it comes across well.

Molly... just lost her baby girl. I'm quite sure that's all she's thinking, and that the best conclusion for her is that Harry did it because he happened to be there. Hopefully the plot stays intense, although I'm hoping to pick up the pace a bit within the next few chapters.

Thank you again for the amazing review! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Meg


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Review #6, by Phoenix_Flames Harry: Luck Doesn't Last Forever

10th October 2011:
Hey there, dear! Im here with your review as requested! I'm so glad you came back to request for the second chapter. This was a brilliant addition, and a shocker at that!

I had no idea how it would all go down, and I was thrilled to see how it would play out. I think I had somewhat forgotten the first chapter, so when I was reading this one, I had a very different attitude about it all. I was kind of in a happy-go-lucky mood and then bam. Big surprise! Although, I should have known better.

Poor Harry. I have no idea what you have planned for this story, but I feel so bad for him. In the beginning of the chapter, you did a perfect job of capturing the happiness that filled Harry's life since the battle. That's why I was partly able to forget the first chapter and just be sucked into the progress of it all here in this chapter. You set up a perfect mood. If it weren't for Molly in chapter one, your reader wouldn't have known anything was wrong until Harry came back from his run. Your word choice and, tone, and flow of the beginning of it all made sure of that.

Then wow. What a sad event. I'm desperate to know what happened to Ginny. I think you wrote it perfectly. It was emotional and moving, and it made me mad, really. You sent me into wanting Harry to seek revenge, which I hope he desperately does. :) But with the way youvworded everything, you just had a way of pulling me in and keeping me there. You really brought the story to life.

It all flowed perfectly. I could see Harry fly across the bed, and I really think his reaction to finding her body was just perfect. Excellent. I don't think I passed any mistakes even.

The only thing I saw that even looked somewhat out of place was one phrase, and it was this:

blood through her body, only to be sorely disappointed.

Everything was just perfect and emotional, and then this description comes up. It's fine and there's nothing wrong with it, but I just feel as if it gives off the wrong feel to the entire situation. I feel like Harry should feel so much more than just sorely disappointed. I feel like that's an expression one would use with their child when reprimanding them. I just didn't feel as if it were comparison worthy to the death if his wife, you know? I would imagine something so much more emotional. But that's all minor and it was really the only thing I noticed.

This is coming along swimmingly, and you're obviously making goof progress! There's no way Molly can honestly think he did it. I really hope she doesn't, and if she does, I hope she comes around. I can't wait to see how this all turns out. Great job!

Be sure to let me know when you update! This is awesome. Fantastic job!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! I'm so sorry that it took me this long to write a response to it. I'm really glad that you think it's a shocker and a brilliant addition, that means a lot to me so thank you for that as well!

I'm trying to keep the readers guessing a bit so I'm glad that the beginning of this chapter sucked you into the happier mood, given I'm pretty sure that happy-go-lucky is not going to be a term people can use for the later chapters if they go as I've planned them *ninja*. I'm really really glad that the tone, flow and word choice worked for this and pulled you in with the happier kind of life Harry's been leading, it's great to know that it worked ^_^

Wow, thank you! I actually hadn't considered the side of Harry going out for revenge until I read your review but I'm sure that it will be something on his mind during the rest of the story (I don't really see how it couldn't be with how much he loved Ginny). Thank you so much! I'm hoping I can revive the story's life after having such a long break from it, so it is great to hear that I had managed to bring it to life in the first place.

Thank you so much for pointing out that phrase. I'm going to go through it again and see if there's any way to word it better. I'm glad that its all flowed perfectly and that you think the reaction was right.

That definitely makes sense that it doesn't fit with what is going on. I'm glad that that was the only minor thing that stuck out at all, and I appreciate you taking the time to point it out to me. :-)

Clearly the good progress went out the window when I took a couple year break from writing? But hopefully this comes back and you'll enjoy the next chapters! I won't give anything away about what Molly actually thinks right now because chapter 3 is in the queue but I can't wait to see your reaction to it!

Thank you so much for the amazing review.


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Review #7, by Roots in Water Harry: Luck Doesn't Last Forever

1st October 2011:
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ginnys dead? She can't be dead... And the timing. The awful timing. Harry walking in on Ginny, discovering her dead, and then Molly finding him alone in the room with her... Such an awful coincidence.

I think you're doing a brilliant job of writing this- your first chapter set this one up beautifully and I certainly didn't see Ginny's death coming. Hopefully Molly will believe Harry when he says that he didn't do it. And such a well-executed cliff-hanger!

I also think that you're doing a great job characterising Harry and Molly. They seemed very in character- Molly thinking about her grandchildren and cooking for her family; Harry's love for Ginny and his children as well as his forgetfulness about the file.

The only thing I noticed that can be corrected is the sentence "Percy's feelpiece over a piece of furniture" because I think you mean "feelings", not "feelpiece". Other than that the story flowed very smoothly.

I'm really enjoying reading this story- you've done a great job!

Author's Response: Yup she is! I'm sorry! I'm glad you thought that the timing was awful though, I really wanted the reader to feel for Harry but to also leave it hanging that way. An awful but necessary coincidence. Thank you so much! I'm glad that you thought the first chapter set this one up and that you didn't see her death coming. I was afraid that I'd given that away with the last line of the first chapter. So I'm glad you didn't think that I had done that.

I'm really glad you thought that it was a well executed cliffhanger. I wasn't all that sure - having never really written one before - if it would work so I'm glad that you thought it did.

Thank you! I'm glad the characteristics seem good and in character to you. Oh dear. Thank you so much for pointing that out! I meant it to be feelings yes, I will go and sort that out.

I'm really happy that you're enjoying reading the story, I hope you will continue to enjoy it as I update. Thank you for your lovely review ^^


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Review #8, by TheGoldenKneazle Harry: Luck Doesn't Last Forever

11th September 2011:
Hi there, itís me again with your review :)

I think that this second chapter fits in with the first very well. You have the same style running through it, and all the little hints you dropped all the way through, as well as the tension from the end of the last chapter, really had me on tenterhooks! I loved hearing about Harryís more slow and mundane life especially, because you described it so nicely (with lingering details but it moved forwards nicely) but had all those hints keeping it moving nicely.

But I think that you bringing Molly Weasley back around kept it all pretty fresh! And you have the best ending lines ever - they make me want to read on so badly, theyíre real teasers! But your Harry, with his working attitude but love of Ginny, really had him characterised perfectly. I really want to see what happens next chapter :D

I think that the changing POV works rather well for these chapters so far, and I think you keep it working too, as long as you brought each chapter back around to previous people and made sure that the main character had a large relevance to the scene.

Overall, amazing job! Iím already hooked on this story, total 10/10!
~TGK

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you. I'm very glad that you think it fits in well with the first. I was worried that it would seem too jumpy or something going from different points of views so I'm really glad that you thought that the same style managed to run through it.

Thank you! I'm glad that it stayed moving forward and didn't get boring. That would be the last thing that I would want. I'm so glad you liked bringing Molly in. I wanted to ahve a fresh point of view but I wanted it not to seem like it was from a different story at the same time! I'm glad you like the ending lines :D Hopefully the next chapter will be in the queue soon so that everybody can read on. I'm glad that you thought that I had him perfectly characterised.

I will definitely keep that advice in mind given the next chapter is from another person's point of view as well to add other people to the mix. That would make sense to keep adding the previous ones to the next scene.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you think that it's an amazing job so far, and thank you for your lovely review. ^^


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Review #9, by Phoenix_Flames Molly: An Ordinary Day

11th September 2011:
Hey there! I'm here with your review as requested. I must apologize for the delay; I'm quite sorry. My laptop crashed, so I'm writing this review from my phone. So forgive any future mistakes and I'm sorry if this review isn't as lengthy as my others. I hate touch-screens. :P

This was a great start to what I'm sure will be a wonderful story! I loved that it follows Molly and that she seems as if she will be the main character. I feel as if there are very few stories that actually follow Molly, which I think it somewhat of a disappointment. I think she's a great character that deserves so much more attention other than her small time in the spotlight after killing Bellatrix.

It was a fairly short chapter, but you did well with keeping me captivated. You pulled me into the story right away and kept it exciting. I loved how in-depth you were about this. You had wonderful descriptions of Molly's day. I can see it going exactly like this, and I felt as if I was following Molly in her shoes. Your descriptions were just lovely of that.

I can completely see Molly feeling this way about having time to herself. Seven children, a husband, and a houes to keep up with. She has so much going on, and I even wondered when she would have time to herself. I'm glad you included that.

You've set her up as a great character. I know you said you were worried about characterizations, but I think so far you have nailed them. Molly seems perfect. As does Arthur. I thought he was great and when he went off to work, I thought that was so brilliantly done. Mollywobbles. :) I loved that inclusion. Really excellent job and so cute. You did a great job of showcasing a marriage that has been going on for years and still has so much spark and love in it. Wonderful. :)

It was all going so well. Almost so well that I was nervous about what would happen. You did a great job with setting up the scene of everything, and then it all went downhill. Poor Ginny. You have me curious and worried about what's going on. I want to know to what's happened to her that has put her in mortal peril. You did so well with leading up to that, and what a cliffhanger!

Your flow was wonderful. So don't worry about that as well. It flowed so perfectly from one part of then story to the next. Perfectly from brilliant descriptions to the dialogue, to the emotions of what will lead to the future actions. Really well done. :)

I don't think I have anything bad to say, really. It was all a great start to a story. It sounds like you have something great coming along here, and I can't wait to see where you take it. So I hope this review was somewhat useful to you, and I hope it will benefit you. :)

My queue is currently pretty backed up. So, what I'm going to do is empty it out and return for the next chapter. However, if you haven't heard from me in a day or two, feel free to come request. But I might take awhile to get back due to my lack of a computer at the moment. We will see! But! Thank you so much for requesting and introducing me to this story! Great job. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you very much for being willing to do the review even though your laptop crashed! I'm so sorry to hear about that, there's no need to apologize, technology is mean more often than not. Helpful... but mean. You and me both on the hating touchscreens bit.

Yay! I'm glad you think it was a great start. Molly is definitely one of the main characters in the story, I'm glad you liked that the first chapter followed her.

I'm always worried about becoming too longwinded or boring when I write which would be why I keep the chapters fairly short. I'm glad that I did well with keeping you captivated with the story and with pulling you in right away. Thank you, it's lovely to hear that you thought that the descriptions were wonderful and that you loved how in-depth it went. Seriously great to know that it worked with getting into Molly's 'ordinary' day. I'm really glad that you could see her feeling the way she does about time to herself, and that you thought that she was set up as a great character.

YAY! Thank you so much! That means a lot to hear you say that you think I've nailed the characterizations so far. I'm always most worried when characters are well loved ones because I want to be true to them so it's lovely to hear you say that Molly seems perfect and that Arthur was great. I love the whole Mollywobbles thing in the books so I just couldn't resist putting it in the story as well! It's lovely and wonderful to hear you say that about the marriage being showcased that way. I'm really glad it comes across as that given I have zip all personal experience in that department to draw on. :D

I'm glad that that seems to have worked. I wanted it to be a sudden 'what on earth' moment but I also wanted the day to seem too good so I'm glad that you said that. Curious is always good :P

Thank you! That's the other part I'm always worried about so it's wonderful to hear that it did flow well. *blushes* Oh thank you so much! I'm glad that you say that and I have definitely found this review useful. So thank you very much for being willing to leave it for me :D

Thank you for thanking me for introducing you to my story :D That seriously is such a nice thing to say. Good luck with your computer and I'll come back and rerequest if I don't hear from you soonish. I'm sorry it took so long for me to reply to your review... school is being a bit of a meanie right now and taking all my time so I hadn't had a moment to reply in a way that did this beautiful review justice. Thank you so much for reviewing ^^


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Review #10, by ariellem Molly: An Ordinary Day

8th September 2011:
Alright, you had a slightly...boring *hides* start, I'm not trying to be mean, I really liked the end. I mean it was really a good idea on your part to end the first chapter with a cliff hanger, gets people hooked you know?

It would be easy to fix your first bit. Just add some humor, which I can tell your capable of. :)

Please don't think I'm being mean, I was trying to help :).

Author's Response: Thank you for your feedback. I'm glad you liked the end and that you thought it was a good idea. The point of the chapter was to have it be as ordinary as possible so that the end was shocking. I'm sorry that you thought that this was boring. I'll have a look at it though and see if I can figure out a way to add humor. Thank you for your review ^^

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Review #11, by lizmusic45 Harry: Luck Doesn't Last Forever

7th September 2011:
What??? What??? What? No Ginny and Harry happily ever after???

I am so confused right now, why did Ginny kill herself? or did someone else kill her?

Still a good story though :)

Lizmusic16

Author's Response: I'm really glad the chapter got that reaction from you if only because that's really what I was going for. I want the reader to want to be questioning what's going on given I'm trying to write a mystery... that said. Unfortunately anything I say to answer your questions about your confusion will be a spoiler for later on :S

So... I can tell you that she was murdered. But I can't tell you why or anything else along those lines, apart from the fact that Mrs Weasley seems to think Harry did it and Harry doesn't know what to think >.<

I'm glad you still think it's a good story :)

Thank you! ^^


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Review #12, by lizmusic45 Molly: An Ordinary Day

7th September 2011:
ok I love anything that has to do with Ginny, or the Weasley's I love them and, this is a really good story!

You write Mr. and Mrs. Weasley so perfectly! Oh my gosh I love how you write them so well! I just can't get over it!

I'm reviewing the next chapter, because this is just so good!

Lizmusic16

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think that it's a really good story. That made me smile to read that! Oh thank you so much! I'm always worried when I'm trying to characterize canon characters so I am really glad you thought that I wrote them perfectly. That's lovely to hear.

Thank you for the lovely review! ^^


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Review #13, by I_trusted_Snape13 Harry: Luck Doesn't Last Forever

6th September 2011:
NOOO! I just cried in this chapter!! So, did Molly do this?! Poor Harry, he would never do that! I didn't think Molly would either though...

This was good, exciting! I'm gonna add it to my favs, I must know what happens! I need more story!! :D

GREAT JOB!!! UPDATE SOON! I need more! 10/10
I had no idea it'd be Ginny!

Author's Response: Oooo I'm sorry it made you cry, it's good to know that it has emotion for readers though :P Well Molly thinks that Harry did it and I don't know if Harry knows what to think... I guess you'll just have to wait and see who it was :P

I'm glad it was exciting! Yay! That is seriously wonderful to hear.

I'm working on the next chapter as we speak. Thank you very much for your wonderful review ^^


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Review #14, by I_trusted_Snape13 Molly: An Ordinary Day

4th September 2011:
Oooh *claps hands* this is good(:

I'd really like to read more(:

That last line especially makes me want more(:

Please update :D

Author's Response: Thank you! The next chapter has actually just been validated :D So yeah, I'm working on the third at the moment hoping to get it up soon as well. I'm really glad the last line had you wanting more. Thank you ^^

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Review #15, by Natalie Molly: An Ordinary Day

30th August 2011:
Oh! I can't wait to see how this turns out! And, I love how it's being told through Molly's POV. She's my favorite!

Author's Response: Thank you dearie! I plan that the POV shifts with each chapter so that it shows what's happening/happened and the consequences from most if not all of the angles. I'm glad you loved that it was through Molly's POV for the first chapter though. I was a little worried people wouldn't like that so thank you ^^

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Review #16, by nitenel Molly: An Ordinary Day

25th August 2011:
Requested Review!

I love Arthur/Molly. They're just the cutest old people ever. I also love old people. They are just such a happy couple that loves each other a lot. It's really rather inspiring.

My only complaint about this story is that it doesn't flow very well to me. It seems... choppy at points. I think you can rectify this easily by breaking up your paragraphs a bit.

Your suspense at the end is good. It didn't seem forced and it was unexpected. It was such a nice and peaceful story and then - BOOM! I wasn't really expecting that.

I think your chapter is a good length and I hope your following chapters are too. 1500 words is a good amount in my opinion. Sometimes the chapters with 6000 words just get to be too much at times.

Overall, I am enjoying this story so far.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you liked the pairing that was going on in that chapter. I'll go and look at the chapter again and see if i can rectify it.

I'm glad that you think that the suspense is good! I was really worried that it wouldn't make anybody surprised or anything at it. I'm glad you think that the chapter is a good length, I really don't like the idea of huge chapters cause I'm scared that they scare readers away... and I am scared that I would ramble in them as well.

Thank you very much ^^


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Review #17, by TheGoldenKneazle Molly: An Ordinary Day

23rd August 2011:
Hi there! It's me off the forums with your review :)

I loved this chapter! You have Molly down so well, and it really reminded us of the Molly Weasley we all know and love, she was so in character. Her and Arthur's relationship was perfect too, exactly as they always are. It was so nice to read about their ordinary day, because you almost never get to - it was a really nice introduction.

All the details of their family life were beautiful; the routine, their children, and the mysterious table... I'm left wondering about the significance of it and why it's refusing to move! You set the scene perfectly, and it wasn't at all boring, just atmospheric.

The ending was amazing, though - it grabbed you awfully hard! I'm really excited to see where you take it next, because this is really interesting and I'm so worried for Molly and about Ginny! At least Arthur knows what should be happening... argh! I will definitely want to read the next chapter!

Overall, I LOVED this! 10/10, keep up the great writing :)
~TGK

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you for the lovely review. I'm really glad that you think that I have Molly down well and that you thought that she was in character with how she behaved and with her relationship with Arthur. It's great that you thought the details were beautiful, thank you very much. I'm not sure myself right now if it will turn out to be all that significant, I really just thought that it would be funny to have a table that wouldn't budge and managed to be run into all the time. Mainly because I'm the kind of person that walks into things so yeah...

I'm really happy that you thought the ending was amazing. It was worrying that it wasn't going to be interesting or would be something that wouldn't have a reader want to stay.

Thank you! I'm really glad you loved it! ^^


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Review #18, by Godrics_Helm Molly: An Ordinary Day

22nd August 2011:
Ooohh!! What a promising start! Started off all nice and cheerful, and then BANG! Can't wait to see what happens! Update soon!

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for the review. I'm glad that you thought it was a promising start. I'm working on the next chapter. ^^

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