I liked at first the narrartor was rather ambigious as it meant that I could try and figure out who it was, and it was only until I was about 1/4 of the way through before I realised it was Cho.
I really liked this perspective of her, as I and I think most other people tend to forget about her, and how she may have felt for Harry, as she's always portrayed in a bad light, so it was nice to get her side of the story for once:)
I felt so bad for Cho that she never recovered from Harry breaking up with her. As he did treat her badly, I mean her boyfriend died less than a year ago, and he has a go at her for mentioning him. This story has really helped me realise that Harry did paint Cho all that nicely.
This was just a lovely one-shot, and it made me feel really sad for Cho, as I think she does have a negative reputation, that she doesn't really deserve, so it's taught me to not judge her too harshly, Kiana :)Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
I'm glad that you enjoyed the style in which this was written! It was an interesting perspective to write from since, as you've said, she's often portrayed in a bad light and we never really got the opportunity to understand her. To write from her perspective as a grown woman, to imagine her as - not exactly obsessed with Harry but certainly fond of her memories of their relationship... It was an experience. :)
Thanks once again for reviewing! I really appriciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts! :) Report Review
So this is supposed to be about Cho meeting with Harry after Ginny passed away?Author's Response: Yes- I'm glad that you were able to figure that out. Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your 1/15 review!
I actually have mixed feelings about this fic.
In terms of your prose, this was terrific. You did a great job of showing Cho's reflections on her relationship with Harry - I was completely convinced by the emotions you described her as feeling at the time of their relationship and after. Her desire to see him on the pitch, the reasons she latched onto him, the fact that she didn't want to know whether Ginny kissed better than herů I thought that it was a really realistic depiction of how a teenager in Cho's position might have felt.
My problem was with a few of the supporting details and, more importantly, with the translation of that past to the present.
For example - and this is a minor detail, but I think that often minor details can be just as important as major ones in making a story really strong - you mention that Cedric was Cho's first crush (unless I misinterpreted the sentence). That just seemed a little odd to me, given that she was 15 or 16 when they started going out. Maybe you think of her as liking him for awhile before they actually start going out, but if so, I'd have liked to see you explicitly say that, because as is, I think that needs a bit more depth.
The other problem I had was that I felt like Cho's reflections 80 years later were a little inconsistent. On one hand, her connection with Cedric is coming across as more important to her and more meaningful than her relationship with Harry. That's fair, and it makes sense. On the other, your description of her actions since the war seem to be saying that she's never really gotten over Harry. I think that you can make that case, too. I even think that you can do both at the same time, but here, I feel like you just lacked that extra step to really portray that as strongly as I think you could have. Does that make sense?
Again, I did think that your prose and your take on how Cho felt at the time was great, and I also thought that you portrayed her brief conversation with Harry quite well. There were just a couple little things that I thought got a little lost.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad that you liked the way I showed Cho's feelings because that was the main point of this story.
I see what you mean about Cho's crush on Cedric. It didn't come across as strange to me for her to have her first crush at fifteen/sixteen because I know people who haven't felt those emotions until that point in time, but I do agree that I could elaborate a little on her emotions during that point in time, to show that she was serious about her feelings for Cedric. For the girl that I picture Cho as being, I do agree that there would have to be some explanation behind why Cedric was her first crush.
I think that I understand what you're saying; you mean to say that I should explain why Cho hasn't truly gotten over Harry and tried to fall in love again. If that is true, then I understand where you're coming from. I think that I tried at the time to explain the depth of her emotions for Harry as well as Cedric but I guess it didn't come across as well as I'd hoped. I will try to express the depth of her attachment to both boys more clearly.
Thanks once again for reviewing- I will definitely try and fix the little problems you spotted! Report Review
Oh, that's so sad. I've never really thought about how Cho felt after she and Harry broke up. I would never imagined this. Its a lovely story.Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review! I never thought about it either until I had the inspiration for this story. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Honoraryweasleyy from the forums here with your requested review. Firstly, I have to comment on the story's name and summary - they really drew me in. I also adored the last line of the story.
Usually, I do a rundown of spelling and grammar errors and suggestions that I have, but I don't think I'll do that this time! It's only a couple of small things that could be easily solved by a little run-through, or maybe a beta..?
But anyway, that's not the important part of the story. I found this really touching. The pace, the length, everything was just right. If it was a little longer I'd recommend a little more dialogue in between - even if just a recount of something said before - and I'd still recommend that you CONSIDER that, but to be honest I think that having the only dialogue be between Harry and Cho makes it all the more powerful. You used it really well. I also appreciate how you didn't have Harry and Cho reconnect or look back or confess anything about anything, because that's not how things happen in real life. Instead you had Cho do it privately and silently, which is so much more realistic.
I know that a whole bunch of people really don't like Cho, but I feel SO bad for her. And this made me feel even worse, because I'd never actually thought about Cho/Cedric as people who had inside jokes and hiding places and arguments and everything.
I don't think I have anything to suggest to you for improvement! Do consider putting in just a word or two of dialogue. For example: '"*insert words*", he would say'. To some readers like me, who really strive on dialogue, it would be kind of a breath of fresh air ;)
But you did a really, really great job with this! You characterized both Cho and Harry well, and Cho's reasoning in particular was easily understandable and made me pity her even further. Nicely done, and I hope these comments have helped. :)Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review!
I'm so glad you liked the summary and title. I was puzzling on those for ages- couldn't seem to come up with good ones. As for the spelling, I'll go and reread the story. I thought I caught all of them... oh well.
I'm so glad this affected you in some way. And that you thought it was well done! Dialogue is something people have commented on in previous stories, and I do try to include it more. However, I agree with you that the short amount of dialogue makes it more powerful.
This story just kind of wrote itself. When I got to the end, it didn't feel right for them to reconnect.
I don't have strong feelings about Cho, which probably helped in writing this. I didn't have any negative feelings towards her, so I was better able to empathize with her (possible) feelings.
Your comments really did help. I will definitely think about the dialogue- the "past words" seems to be an easier thing to work into the piece. Thanks once again for reviewing! Report Review
Hey! Here with your review :)
So I thought this was really simple but really great. You explored the character of Cho very deeply and you wrote a very poignant piece. I really pitied her, knowing that she had finally gotten her one chance to reconnect with her lost love and found it to be ultimately woefully unsatisfying. At the same time, I pitied Harry, knowing that he has to say goodbye to the love of his life, which is never an easy thing; you also characterized him appropriately. I found Cho's reasoning for wanting to be with Harry sensible and interesting; it's so sad to think that she can't be happy because both of her chances at love have come and gone. I don't think anyone would have predicted that for the popular, pretty girl from Ravenclaw that Harry once fantasized about.
The story flowed easily and smoothly, and your writing was free of errors. I always love to see a little more imagery in a story, but at the same time, this one was just fine in its mere simplicity. I can't really find anything to critique; this was just another example of your very fine work! I've never been big into Harry and Ginny but your work is part of why I've been warming to the ship a little bit, wanting to explore their pairing a little more fully.
Great job! Thanks for requesting another review, and you know what to do with your next new story :) As always, I hope my comments are helpful!
academicaAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review (and so quickly too!)
I'm so glad you feel that way about this story. I'm glad I was able to get the feelings across well. I was a little worried because it was so short, yet I couldn't see a way to lengthen it while still having it flow well. I'm glad you liked her reasoning- it's always interesting to look at things from another point of view. It's also interesting to imagine what might happen to characters in their future. Cho's future in this story definitely wasn't expected...
Thanks so much for the compliment! By the way, I'm not too fond of Harry/Ginny either- they've just tended to suit my stories and so I've written them in.
Thanks once again for reviewing and I wil definitely rerequest! I have another story in the queue at the moment. And yes, your comments are most definitely helpful! Report Review
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