I would love to write a much longer review, but I'm struggling to find words to express how amazing your story truly is. As it is, I can barely string more than one sentence together.
You are an incredible writer. This story is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. It's so impeccably written it has brought me to tears multiple times throughout reading.
I really wish I could express to you my appreciation of this story. Hopefully, when I've had some time to digest it, I'll be able to return and write you the review this deserves. Report Review
My jaw hit the floor as I began reading this. You truely have an incredible gift for writing! I'm hoping this will evolve into a more stimulating plot line because in present tense but otherwise no complaints just beautiful writing truelyAuthor's Response: Thank you! I hope you find the plot stimulating as it goes - I don't think I gave very many hints about what it really was about. All the same, I do hope you enjoy :) Report Review
You just made me cry.
But I don't care I still love this story. Report Review
There is such beauty in this chapter. Your writing is incredible. Report Review
I am speechless and in tears. Absolutely incredible. Congratulations on such an amazing story, and thank you for sharing it.Author's Response: And thank you so much for reading and reviewing it :) I'm absolutely thrilled you enjoyed it! Report Review
This has really put me through the emotional wringer! I read all of this in a day, and I'm just astounded by this. I'm magicmuggle at TGS, so I'd already heard a lot about how good this was from other members, but it's only now that I've read it. I'm so glad I did; this was absolutely brilliant.
The depth of emotion in your writing is astounding - it's hard to describe, but you write your characters as if they are real, as if their sorrows and their joys matter, and it really makes you care about what they go through.
You have an excellent heroine in Rose - she tells the story as linked to her emotions, obviously, but she's still sligtly removed from everything in some ways. She has just enough distance to be able to describe what is going on.
Dominique's death as well - I quite recently lost a close family member, and the reactions were so perfectly written. I remember how hard it hit me and although everybody reacts differently to death, Rose reminds me a lot of me.
Another thing that is astounding is that you don't get bogged down in the tragedy of the death, the story still manages to have moments of humour and happiness. As a portrayal of life, it's pretty spot on - it's all emotions at once and it just works really, really well. It's amazing how much these characters grow in such a short time.
This has just been one long piece of word vomit, because this truly was wonderful and nothing I can say can do justice. I hope this has somewhat let you know just how amazing this was and how brilliant I think your writing is.
-Becca Report Review
Ahh! Very beautiful, very well written and very moving.
Good job and thank you for the beautiful story Report Review
You will have tired of my raving by now, but this was spectacular. This is the very best thing by you that I've read, I think, and I keep coming back to the word 'stylish' when I review your writing. This entire piece is takes place with the universe as its backdrop. Even in the scenes that take place in school, or at the Burrow, you've conveyed this sense of the cosmos through metaphor and language. "In my seat near the window, I could see the outside sky and to me, the six of us were planets and swirling stars in our own right..." The 'swirliness' of the story becomes even more important when we see, at the end, that it is a narration to a young girl; memory flows through time and space.
Your handle on character is outstanding. I loved Roxanne and loved that I knew her best only for a tiny moment in the story. Dominique was heartbreaking, as was Ron's remembrance of Fred. I also appreciate the fact that Rose is not the heroine in this story- managing relationships and fixing problems- but part of it while also being remote and passive. The first time she does anything remarkable is for Roxanne and it was stand-out moment for me, more so because you didn't force it into a crude narrative of 'How Rose became a Good Person.'
I do understand that this story was centered around the girls, but I wish you'd put in a line about some of the boys. I found Rose's mention of Albus when speaking of people who had finished school with her, slightly odd because we've hardly seen her interacting with him. And I can't see your Scorpius as clearly as I do the other characters; something about him- I wish I could tell you what- especially in his earlier appearances, is less convincing. But here's a thought: your piece is perfect as it stands, but would you consider writing a companion piece? One that uses a different metaphor, and revolves around the boys in the family?
You said in one of your Author's Notes that this story wasn't popular. If that's still the case, they don't know what they're missing. Your story is brilliant, and you are too. YAY! Report Review
Some kind of beauty indeed. I fell in love with this story and it's gorgeous prose, lovely description, and truly J.K. Rowling-like writing in general. Your use of language, combined with the heartbreaking, yet stunning story line, spanning years in chapters, made me cry and smile and invoked heartfelt emotion, all this in just a few chapters. I commend you. Report Review
This is an amazing story. One of the best I have ever read on this site.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :D Report Review
This was a really great story. I was seriously tearing up. So sad but so part of life. Great job! Report Review
Exquisite! I have always felt extremely close to my cousins- I have never known the disconnect you write of with my family. Recently though, in the wake of the suicide of my older cousin, I wonder if I don't know them as well as i thought I did. it's a frightening thought. Excellent jobAuthor's Response: I'm sorry about your cousin's suicide. This story was based partly on me growing up close to some of my cousins and later experiencing a disconnect and trying to reconnect. It's definitely a bit frightening, but whatever comes, I hope that I've learned what I can from it.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Okay, I can tell you in all honesty that this has been one of the most beautiful things I have ever read on this site.
Firstly, your characterisation is incredible. You have such a grasp over all the NextGen cousins and it really comes across in your writing. You make the family completely believable; they don't all detest each other but they're far from perfect and the way they are all so carefully developed throughout the story is amazing.
I especially liked Lucy, I thought you did something really original with her, and Roxanne who was very subtle but very vivid. I also think you did justice to JKR your adult characters, particularly Ron and Hermione who seemed extremely believable!
Secondly, your writing style is stunning. The words just seem to flow off the page and some of your passages of description are truly breathtaking. You also handled Dom's death and Rose's reaction to it amazingly well, along with the rest of the family. It was heartbreaking at the time, but the reader moves on just as Rose does.
Thirdly, I just wanted to say how brilliantly you have created Rose. She is a very complex character and I loved how you managed to bring all the subtleties of her personality across whilst still having her as a first person narrator.
She was an extremely realistic person, not at all perfected or caricatured.
So thankyou very much for such an engaging read, and for creating such a vivid and honest story that captures not only their grief, but also a sincere depiction of a family :) (and sorry for waffling on so much!! :P) Report Review
by far the best written fanfiction i ever read.
and the only one that ever made me cry!
it was a beautiful story
I want to call up my best friend right now and tell her how much i love her!
thank you! Report Review
Wow, I don't think I have ever cried this much, this story is a truelly hart warming tale of friendship. I will deffinately be checking out others you have written! Report Review
I can't tell you how amazing this story of yours is. It's so powerful, so real. You didn't write them all to be incredibly, amazing, beautiful Mary Sues, you made them human and it was truly amazing to read. I laughed and I cried, and I just loved the whole thing.
My only critique would be some editing issues, but it's so minor compared to the outstanding writing you displayed. Bravo ^_^ Report Review
This was fantastic. I loved Rose's story, the way everything sort of came together. Dom's death was heartbreaking and I teared up a few times. ):
I loved how unique all of your characters feel. Sometimes after reading Next Gen stories, I feel as though all of the girls are the same person, but here, I have distinct impressions of each of them, and I really like that.
Very well done. :) It was a really enjoyable read. Report Review
Wow. This story is just heartbreakingly beautiful. Absolutely stunning. Some of the things mentioned and emotions experienced really hit home for me, especially in part three. The thoughts that Rose had about her family, grieving, just life overall - I can identify with that, and that's just so incredible. The amount of tears shed whilst I was reading this is unbelievable, honestly apart from "The Art Of Breathing" by AC_rules, I've never really connected with any other story this much. But I suppose that's a good thing because it just shows how powerful your writing is :) It reminded me of one of the reasons I love writing and English so much; because of what it can make you feel and realise.
Your imagery, wording, characters, it was all so magnificent; I'm in awe of how talented you are! I must say i especially loved Lucy, she particularly made me smile! Her and scorpius are so different but endearing because of it.
It was a pleasure to read, to go on that journey with Rose and to watch her find herself and become the person in the present. You captured so many emotions and memories within this, all the work you must've put into this shines through because of how brilliantly crafted it all is. It's really something to be proud of.
There's so much more I want to say about this but the review would become ridiculously long! Just know that this story will be something I will forever remember, and thank you so much for creating something so, so special.
It truly is sensational :) Ah, time to mop up the tears now, I think! ;)
~Maddie xxx Report Review
Hey Celestie, it's Giola here with your requested review (so sorry it's taken me WAY longer than I intended).
I loved this. You have a beautiful way of writing, the words flow very easily. You intersperse dialogue and prose perfectly, and there wasn't a boring moment. There isn't a lot of plot, but you do do a good job of showing the central characters, and the beginning scene has me intrigued, as does Dom's illness. I expect things move faster in later parts :)
You do a marvelous job of characterising Rose. She seems to be quite a spiteful little girl, but you never say that outright. She seems to be very selfish, but she doesn't realize it. You did a good job at writing her, since you can't outright say what her personality type is, but only show it.
I can already tell from just reading this that you're well beyond the average standard of writers we see here, and it's a welcome change :) You write beautifully, and this was a pleasure to read. You create unique characters and portray them all so well, and they're all realistic. Nothing is overdone, and I have no real critique for you.
I also love how you show the developments of the characters, even just within this chapter. You see Rose as a mature adult, and then you see her as an immature young girl, and it's fascinating. You clearly have the characters well thought out.
Wonderful job, I'll definitely be reading on when I get the chance.
-Giola Report Review
I loved this. I cried from time to time, and I don't do that. This story makes me see what life, love and loss really means. It was beautifully written and I couldn't find anything bad about it. Take care of yourself. Don't stop writing, you really are something special! Report Review
This is astounding writing; it reads like poetry. I happen to have an unfortunate habit of finding grammatical and spelling errors in everything but I didn't find a single one in this. Thank you for gracing this site with your wonderful ability.Author's Response: Thank you! I have that unfortunate habit too, so I think it's what helped me edit this story! And thank you for reading and giving me a reason to keep writing :) Report Review
Wow, this story was amazing. It was so different from all of the other stories that I've read and I really loved your writing style! I don't think I've ever cried so much from a story before... I dont know what I would do if my best friend died. Thank you for this story. :) Report Review
Words cannot express how much I loved this story. It was such a beautiful read. Your writing is incredible, and the way you told the story was gorgeous and breathtaking. Your writing connected with me on an emotional level because I can relate to how Victoire felt after loosing her sister and the after effects Dominque's passing had on her family. My sister was sick as well, and unfortunatley passed away a few years ago. I kind of felt similar to Victoire; like I wasn't a good enough sister. The guilt just realIy got to me and it was difficult for me to not think about her at all times. In regards to your writing, the flow of your story was perfect. Your descriptions and character development were spot on. I feel like I have so much more to say, but if I continued to compliment your story, this review would probably take me an entire day to write. Thank you for writing this. It's incredible how stories like this one can make you reflect on your own life. Author's Response: Thank you so much for this beautiful review. I honestly think this is one of the most honest and sincere reviews I've ever received and for that, I'll always be thankful that you were so open to this story. I'm so sorry for your loss; thank you for sharing your story with me. I don't know how to describe how sad yet meaningful this review has been. I feel truly happy to know that this story connected to you on any level. It is the most I can strive for in my writing and this review was as special to me as winning any award. Thank you for reading. This review made the six rewrites entirely worthwhile. Report Review
Eh I wanted Scor/Rose!!! But other than that it was really good!!!Author's Response: Okay, to be honest, that confuses me a little. Rose/Scorpius is just a side pairing; Rose herself says several times that she sees why they wouldn't work out - she doesn't know Scorpius that well nor is she the kind of personality to complete him. What she had for him was a teenage infatuation - those rarely end in ideal, "happily ever after" marriages - and it went away and they both grew up. They both had successful lives with other people, so I'm not sure how the whole "other than that" comes into play. This story has very little to do with romance or ships.
I hope I haven't offended you or anything! I'm just curious as to why a ship (such a minor one too) would detract from the story.
Either way, thanks for reading. :) I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Oh... wow. Just wow. I really, really want to leave a coherent review but I'm literally sobbing. In a good way, I swear but still...Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :) I'm sorry I made you cry, but I'm really happy you liked it! Report Review
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