Reading Reviews for Broccoli
60 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Cassius Alcinder A nickname

18th January 2012:
Review tag!

So you were worried it may have been a tad bit boring, but I actually think it was a realistic depiction of real life (aside from the magic of course). Sure, most stories seem to have melodramtic romances in every chapter, but this was way more believable.

I like the way you've been using minor characters like Eloise and Justin, who we barely saw at all in the books, so you definetely have a wide range in how you can depict them. That semms like a horrible nickname to have, but the story of how she got it was pretty realistic.

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Review #2, by Secret Santa A name

8th January 2012:
What a great character to choose for a story :) This is very very interesting. I'll be honest and say that I really don't like broccoli, and that completely skewed what I was expecting this story to be like. Silly, isn't it? Anyway, I love this already, because Eloise isn't just your average 'ugly' character or whatever, but she seems like a real person with real insecurities and she doesn't let that affect how she treats other people, because at the end of the day she would quite like to have friends.

I am excited to see how Eloise's character develops and where you take the story.

Your Secret Santa

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Review #3, by SilentConfession A name

19th December 2011:
Hi! I'm here for that review you requested ages ago. I just want to say how sorry i am for taking so long to get to this. I actually read it weeks ago but didn't have the time to form a proper review and then my computer crashed and i had to rewrite a lot of my term papers! Sooo to make a long story short... it's just been hectic these last few weeks. But i'm sorry you've had to wait this long!! I honestly feel dreadful! So yeah... those are my excuses now on with the review :D

First off, i really, really like how you've started this. Eloise isn't just a character on a page that we see, she's almost like a real person. She is so poignant. I mean I feel with her and i get angry with her. You have used such beautiful showing words to describe this character which really makes the reader root for the character and care about the character. Not many writers can do this in their first chapter. Especially bringing such an unknown character such vibrancy and life. i really hope this continues because i think that is the strongest thing about this piece so far.

You also have some really spot on observations here which made me feel like it's happening to a teenager who is around 14ish and not just some random person being placed at Hogwarts. For instance, just how she wishes to be pretty than anything in the world and how she loathed how ugly she was. It's really reflects that age where looks are more important than the kind of person you are. I also really liked how she pleaded with God for a few reasons, first, because any kind of religion is rarely mentioned in any fanfiction and it's refreshing to see that characteristic in her. Also, because of how she pleaded with him, how she wouldn't be like the beautiful who were cruel but she'd use it for good. I also enjoyed the idea that she was embarrassed over it and had to do it when no one was looking. This is just one example of how great your observations are. I could go on about the details you've brought into the story that have made it so real so me but I'm afraid i'd be blabbering on for some time.

There was a couple things i noticed as i was reading that did feel a little awkward to me. The first scene with her looking in the mirror. It's well written and i suppose this would be hard to change since this chapter revolved around that. But i feel like the gazing in the mirror to show what a character looks like is extremely overdone and there are tons of other more creative ways to go about that. It wasn't a huge turn off just felt like it could have been a little more subtle.

The paragraph that has 'They said' in it a few times- You seem to have the habit of repeating yourself a lot in here with words, which i get is artistic and it actually worked out most of the time and flowed really well, but i felt like that paragraph was a bit awkward. I liked what it was saying, but the 'they said' bit, i think, is what messed it up a bit.

Finally, the broccoli bit, seems really random and out of place. I think there needs to be some transition there or some other explanation because you were going on about her name and it meaning sun (which was lovely description by the way) but then transitioned to Broc which, to me, seemed a bit too choppy, especially in comparison to the rest of the chapter.

Overall though, honestly, this is a great chapter and a great start! I love how you've taken Eloise, someone who i've honestly thought nothing of and made her so real. I'm so glad you requested me because this is a compelling story so far. Please, feel free to rerequest for another review if you'd like

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Review #4, by Jenna822 Broccoli

16th December 2011:
I thought this was wonderful. The fact that you didn't make it the Ugly Duckling story, and you didn't have him declare his love, and you didn't have her find some other guy is what made this wonderful. You made it real. You weren't afraid to go with a risky ending, or a risky story at that. And you found such a unique way to tie in your assigned food, it really stunned me. Well done. Very well done! --Jenna

Author's Response: EEE! I admit I squealed a little after reading all of your reviews! :P First challenge excitement and all you know. :P

Trust me, I was /very/ tempted to go for a happy, sappy ending, but I had to say true to the theme of the story- real life. You don't get a Prince Charming in real life, at least not people like Eloise. :(

Aweee...thanks! The idea of incorporating broccoli as a metaphor really hit me out of nowhere and then I couldn't not write it down :P Thanks for the great challenge! It was really fun to write as well as read other entries! :D

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Review #5, by Roots in Water Broccoli

15th December 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

That was a very interesting thing that you did there, with her relationship with Justin. It was very realistic, but it was still a shock to me. I guess I had expected that he would realize that he was in love (or something close to love) with her as well and everything would end happily ever after... However, you had Justin believe that it was all a misunderstanding, that she had just kissed him to get over her feelings for Cedric- it was so sweet, because it showed how understanding and caring he was, but it was also so frustrating because that wasn't the intention of the kiss at all! And then she chose to keep the certainty of their friendship over the uncertainty of a romantic relationship. Very realistic, very well thought out, very in character- just unexpected. And I think that you explained your reasoning for this ending very well- it is more a story about her personal growth as a character, rather than a story of her getting the guy and the ending reflected this idea very well.

However, I really did enjoy her realization about her looks. Even though she doesn't miraculously (and unrealistically) start to believe that she's beautiful, she does make a very astute observation- without the "ugly" there would be no "beautiful" people. She accepted herself in an interesting way- she believes that she is special because she makes other people look "beautiful". It's an interesting concept and though I don't know how good that is in terms of societal perceptions (valuing yourself because you make other people seem better?) but it fits, it works for Eloise. And I'm so glad that she realized Justin's worth. The last sentence "She had him" was just so perfect as an ending because it symbolised the cause of her change, her one friend, the person who had been her rock throughout her journey.

I really liked how in the beginning of this chapter you used Justin's pet names for Eloise as indications of his feelings at the moment. It helped to solidify their friendship for me and it definitely showed how Eloise thought.

Throughout the five chapters of this story, you brought Eloise to life, made her real for me and I enjoyed the ending to this story. It suited the purpose of this story wonderfully and it was very realistic. The story itself was, of course, very well written.

And this new story, from Justin's POV, sounds very interesting. I can't wait to read it!

All in all, I think that this was a great ending to the story and I really enjoyed following the progress of it chapter by chapter. Thanks so much for requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful!

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Review #6, by Jenna822 What's in a name

14th December 2011:
I also liked this chapter. :)
It was both sweet and sad. I think you've got a great story here with the potential to be related to by a lot of people. You're not sugar-coating things. You didn't create the epitome of what people want to be, you kept it real. You've made her real. And that's the best part about this story. She's very easy to feel for and bond with. Even in such a small amount of time.
I'm eager to see how this ends.
I've left little reviews so far, but that's sort of how I do. Small at first, building up feelings/opinions as I go.
And also, your spelling and grammar are wonderful. As is your flow and such. Nice structural work and technical properties. Which is a great thing, because all that technical stuff could have kept this story from being as good as it is.
On to the last. :D --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Realism is what I was aiming for, indeed. I do realise that this story has to offer little more in manner of plot, drama and romance (the typical stuff that attracts readers :P), but for once, I wanted to, like you said, create a character, that everyone could relate to, on whichever a level. And writing romance makes me a little uncomfortable, to be honest. :P

Hey, that's okay. :) I appreciate all reviews, long or short!

Thanks! Actually english isn't my native language, so I do read through twice or thrice to make sure the grammar and such is perfect, because if I can't write 'great' stories like so many wonderful authors here, I can at least make sure that my writing is not full of errors :P

Thank you again! :D

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Review #7, by Jenna822 The mirror

14th December 2011:
Very good chapter. :D
I think you portrayed her very realistically. It's a very well done description of how flighty and scattered a teenager's mind can be; moving more quickly than they can handle sometimes.
On to the next. :D --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! :)
That part of her personality was based upon the teenage me; I know all too well about ludicrous dreaming and fantasising. :P I portrayed Eloise's fickle nature as a mild version of me, to be honest. :P

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Review #8, by Jenna822 A nickname

14th December 2011:
Poor girl. I can't imagine having to be called that. Real life is very much like that :P
On to the next! --Jenna

Author's Response: Hehe. Oh, what a nuisance that nickname is for her; yet she loves it, really, underneath it all. She's just not ready to venture deeper into her heart. :P

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Review #9, by Jenna822 A name

14th December 2011:
Wonderful start! I love who you picked for your story and I'm excited to see where you take this. I can't really comment to much, since this was more a "set-up" chapter, but I'm looking forward to the rest. --Jenna

Author's Response: Thank you! I love minor characters with all my heart, so it was fun to write Eloise. :)

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Review #10, by adluvshp Broccoli

13th December 2011:
Aw. This made me smile! I enjoyed reading this story throughout (thanks to Review Tag haha) and I have to say I wasn't disappointed by the ending at all. I think it was perfect. Everything flowed well, and Eloise accepting herself as she was I think was the most suitable ending; your story had such a nice moral you know :)

I really liked this overall. This was a brilliant chapter too, and all in all great story! You did a fantastic job!

Good work!! 10/10 again :D


Author's Response: You weren't disappointed? I'm so relieved to hear that, really! Because I know the ending wasn't exactly 'romantic', but I wanted to keep it real by keeping true to the theme of this story!

Thank you again, lovely! :D

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Review #11, by adluvshp What's in a name

13th December 2011:
Tag :D

Hey!! This is, by far, the best chapter out of all :) I really enjoyed reading this. You portrayed Eloise's emotions so perfectly, and the entire scene and everything - it just flowed so well and it was all really good to read. I'm kind of gushing, but take it to mean I truly loved this one chapter a lot. I think you did a marvelous job with it. Really great work! From the characterization to the centric idea to the flow to the pace, it was all smooth and captivating. I was totally engrossed reading from the start to the end!!

Over all, a brilliant chapter!! I give you a well-earned 10/10 :D

Great job!!


P.S. I am going to read the next chapter because this one intrigued me so :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much Aditi! :D You always put this brilliant smile on my face! :D If I'm being honest with myself, this is my favourite chapter as well, even though I struggled a little through it :P

Thanks so so much! :)

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Review #12, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Broccoli

10th December 2011:
Oh Vanya! This was truly wonderful. It ended on such a happy note and I really was surprised by that. All these chapters have put on an emotional rollercoaster and for Eloise to realize or begin to realize just how special she is. Well, you did it again! I'm just so happy for her. I'm crying ridiculous happy tears and I can't stop smiling. This was perfect and it was for the food challenge. Do you realize how amazing that is! You thought this whole story up based on one food. I'll be looking out for that sequel, there's no doubt about it.

Author's Response: Thank you Alyssa! :D I'm happy you didn't find the ending disappointing!

I'm pretty amazed at myself too! I would never have guessed I'd be able to write five whole chapters and actually /complete/ a fic! :P

Thank you so much for being an amazing reader and reviewer! :)

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Review #13, by Loony_Scorpy Broccoli

10th December 2011:
Aww that was sweet :) I think it was a really nice way to end it :) and I'm really looking forward to Mushroom Tea (I reckon that's am awesome name!) :D

Author's Response: Thank you! :D I'm so glad you liked the ending. I was afraid it would get a less than rhapsodic response since it wasn't exactly romantic, was it? :)

HEEHEE. Dunno how that name came into my mind. (Do Mushroom Teas actually exist? :P) But it fits Justin's eccentric personality, don't ya think? :)

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Review #14, by Ellerina A name

6th December 2011:
I think I can speak for most of us when I say that I have definitely had days where I felt the way Eloise feels. As someone who went through an awful awkward phase when I was around 11 or 12 (or 13 or 14 haha), I remember thinking a lot like her. I feel like you depicted her Hollywood-ized version of beauty very well.

At the time, Eloise had wondered how such a cruel thing could come out of such a beautiful mouth. Her mind had been grappling for an explanation in her bewilderment. But as Eloise had soon learnt, you could get away with anything when you were beautiful. Making cruel remarks as your forte meant being popular.

This, in particular, struck a chord with me. Why is it that such beautiful people can say such awful things? I remember the first time a male barrista gave me free coffee, sometime in late high school, and my friend had elbowed me and said I looked really pretty that day. Well, I thought, free coffee for being pretty? When you look at it that way, sometimes the price of obsession seems kind of worth it.

Sorry to ramble. This just got me thinking a lot -- the mark of a good start, I think. The fact that you've made me empathize with Eloise this deeply so far is a really great start! I'm interested to meet Justin and see what he thinks of Eloise, and vice versa!


Author's Response: HEY! :) Thank you!

Haven't we all? :P I have had innumerable times when I thought like Eloise as well, but I've grown past that stage now (hopefully). Ah, yes. Eloise is a tad dramatic. I think it gives her a little respite at thinking such ill of the world.

Yep, that's sad but so true in society. And her obsession is justified, really, in a way. :)

Aww...thank you! You're far too kind to me! I'm glad you liked it, thanks! :)

Have a wonderful day!

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Review #15, by justonemorefic A name

5th December 2011:
Quite the unusual challenge :D Food!

Aw, Eloise. I quite liked a lot of how you described her resentment and jealousy of other girls. I wonder, do you intend them to actually be prettier than her and always say those mean things? Because I can see how Eloise would imagine other people to be meaner than the actually are, because of her lack of self-confidence. Just as how she fantasizes about being beautiful.

But ah yes, I do like how you described how she sees her flaws. Like this: "It was lucky, people said, those oblivious, sermonizing people, unaware of how cruelly ironical the remark could be for a self deprecating girl like Eloise. It was lucky, they said, to have a gap between your teeth. That it brought fortunes and happiness to you."

Though I must admit, the last bit got me a little confused (I assume it's leading up to something). But I do think your setup's got quite the voice ^__^ So good job!

Author's Response: Hey! :D

Yes, I do, actually. It would have been more fun if she /thought/ everyone else was mean, of course, but I have to stick to canon. :P Most people are not mean towards her, rather they simply don't notice her and she overhears things. Insensitive, people are. (Like Ron) Although, a few /are/ actually rude. (There always are such people in high-school, aren't there?)

Thank you! :) Eloise has a tendency to dramatize everything; she doesn't even know it anymore.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #16, by Coley A name

4th December 2011:
First off, this was beautifully written. It was so raw and relatable, and so hauntingly beautiful.

I love the fact that you've chosen to focus on a minor character, especially Eloise, she's someone you don't read about much in fanfiction. The way you've written her, you can really feel her desperation, how much she wants and wishes to be beautiful.

I'm trying to find something to critique on but I honestly can't find anything. It was a brilliant opening chapter, just the right length, just the right about of detail and just the right amount of information.

I haven't read anything else of yours, but after this, I'm definitely going to go through your author's page.


Author's Response: Thank you! :)

I'm so happy you found it beautiful. You're too kind with your words. :)

I always loved Eloise as a character, because she was a very real one, and most people could possibly relate to her, and I'm glad you could too! :)

Aww...I'm so glad you liked it so much! Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

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Review #17, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap What's in a name

25th November 2011:
Oh dear. I feel so silly. I really do. This has never happened to me before but for some reason this story just really connects to me. I get so emotional reading every chapter and I can't stop tearing because of the end. It's happy tears though which is so odd! Never happens to me! I can't believe there is only one chapter left, I'm going to be a wreck when I read it!

Author's Response: You are my favourite person in the whole world right now. :) An author knows no greater pleasure than being told that their story connects to the reader. Thank you, for sticking to this story. And I'm so glad you can relate to it.

Aw...don't fret, because I'm actually going to write a sequel from Justin's Pov. If you want to keep reading, you should check that out ;)

Thank you for reviewing each chapter. It's pure joy to read your reviews. :) :D

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Review #18, by classicblack What's in a name

25th November 2011:
Hey it's me with your review!

First off, let me just say that I love this idea! It's so creative and I've never read anything like it! You did a spectacular job of bringing out two characters from canon who are little known and giving them a story of their own that fits with the events going on in canon at this time!

With that out of the way, I don't think this is abrupt at all. I actually think that it flowed rather nicely. You gave us the information that Hannah had said yes to Justin and then you described the Yule Ball in a way that perfectly fits Eloise's character. In addition, you gave a flashback about a dress that fit with the Yule Ball theme of this chapter. It's been great through these four chapters to be able to see how Eloise developes into this girl that, I think now, actually respects herself.

I also liked how you made Hannah and Neville be together at the Yule Ball- foreshadowing for the fact that they get married later down the road. In addition, in previous chapters, I liked how you included the Chamber of Secrets pretrifying aspect with Justin and his fear of snakes, hahaha. You did a great job of incorporating canon/ information that JKR has given us through interviews in your story.

You've done a spectacular job with this story and I enjoyed reviewing it. Well done!

Happy writing (your last chapter!),
classicblack from the forums

Author's Response: Hey! :)

Aweee! Thank you! I love little known characters! They are so fun to write, aren't they? :)

You don't? Well, I'm so glad. :) Yess, Eloise has definitely grown, though, not that much. But at least she's starting to see that maybe she's not that bad, after all. :)

Haha. Justin shall ever be terrified of snakes from now on. Who wouldn't? He may love magical creatures, but he can't ever love snakes again. :P

Thank you for such kind comments! :D


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Review #19, by Roots in Water What's in a name

25th November 2011:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

And oh my gosh- you left the chapter off at such a cliffhanger!

As you probably can tell, I really enjoyed this chapter. I think that you displayed her feelings very well throughout the chapter and in such a way that we were just as confused as her as to her feelings. She was still Eloise, still self-centered (in a very teen-ish way).

I don't think this chapter moved along too quickly. In fact, I think that you did a very good job with the pacing. It took her at least a day to realize her feelings for Justin- she didn't immediately jump into that kiss with Justin in the common room. You had enough scenes between the reveal of her swirling emotions and her reallization of her feelings that it felt natural.

As well, I really liked how you described the difference in Eloise's past crushes and her one on Justin. You could also see it in the way she acted around him- she was fascinated with the smallest aspects of him, the unique parts that made him him. I really enjoyed reading about Justin through her new eyes.

I must say that I never saw her crush on Justin coming (though I am pretty bad at guessing plot-twists) but I think that it is wonderful. It's shows such a progression of her character, from completely focused on her own (bad) traits to admiring those same qualities in another person.

I'm not sure if I'm more disappointed or excited for the end to come. I really want to see how this ends- you've progressed this story beautifully- but at the same time I don't want it to end. However this does seem like this is the natural place to end it.

I can't wait to read your last chapter! Thanks for requesting and please do re-request for the last chapter! I hope that my comments are helpful.

Author's Response: HEYY :D

Sorry! :P I couldn't help myself! I love leaving cliffhangers and I hadn't left a single one in this fic, so... Anyway, the next chapter will be out soon, so no harm done, right? :P

I did? Phew, thank you! Yes, I was a little worried that it might be too quick, but well, I was getting impatient too :P Eloise is self-centered in a way that she doesn't really notice anyone else's problems. I don't think it's her fault, seeing what she has gone through, but I may be a little biased :P.

Yes, Justin is Justin. He's different. She doesn't really need to act around him, to worry about how she looks; it's natural around him, and she finally realises how much she loves that. :)

Haha. You didn't see that coming? I thought it would be pretty obvious, actually. You /are/ bad at guessing plot twists (kidding :P)

Don't be disappointed for this silly fic of mine! Though, I hope you won't be disappointed by how I've ended it..

Thank you! Your comments are always so helpful and in-depth! I can't thank you enough! ;)


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Review #20, by MyMyMiss What's in a name

23rd November 2011:
You are a horrible, horrible person. Horrible.
Just horrible.



Okay, so now that I am over my tirade of annoyance and cliffhangers, I loved this. There was just something special about this chapter that made me not be able to tear my eyes away from it for a second (not that your writing isn't always great anyway, *grumbles* Jealous streak here ^_^

Justin seems so real and cute and amazing, I mean she doesn't even realise that Cedric - CEDIRC DIGGORY, silly girl should of looked a little harder lol - was gazing at her, her Els midgen. I had a little smile ^_^

Now Justin better retaliate, and there better be a sequel cause I adore this, your writing, the techniques, everything. Show me how !! Please, your an incredible writer, and I love this story, so so s so so much!

inserts heart .. ♥ there lol
10.0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o/10 :)
~Karni, xx

Author's Response: I've been procrastinating answering reviews for far too long. Anyway...

Ahhh! *hides from rants and glaring* Sorry, dear Karni! I know I'm a horrible person, but I just couldn't resist! :P SORRY. But fret not, for the next chapter is on its way, I pwomise! *bats eyelashes*

Eek! Thank you so much! You are far too kind to me! (And don't be jealous- your writing is much too better than mine. I've no idea how you think up those creative plots :P)

YES! I know, Eloise had gone through much personal growth, so much so that she didn't notice /Cedric Diggory/. That's practically blasphemous, I tell you! :P

I'm not going to reveal anything right now. Nanananaa :P! You'll have to read the next chapter to find out. And the you'll come to know in the next chapter :P Mwuahhah :P

Thanks, thanks, thanks! Aww...thank you for being an incredible reviewer and reader!

Thankyouuu < 3


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Review #21, by Millarz A name

16th November 2011:
This story is amazing so far! You put so much detail into your chapter! It's all (sadly) true and believable too. Beautiful people do get more leeway. I love how you incorporated Broccoli into it as well. It's great!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think so! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #22, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap The mirror

16th November 2011:
Oh no I feel positively terrible for Eloise. That was heartbreaking, she's such a poor little outcast. It's unfair really because she seems like a nice girl. I'm surprised she ate the broccoli. Boys are such idiots. By the way I don't think she's one dimensional because in real life, looks play a big part in society, it's sad but true so i can see why she feels such grief because shes not how society wants her to be. Excellent chapter once again, really makes you think.

Author's Response: I know, right? Well, hopefully (actually- in truth), the next chapter gets less angsty and sad-sad for her.

Thank you for leaving such lovely reviews! They really made my day. Looks do play a big part in real life, but Eloise simply refuses to think of anything else.

Thanks for reading and favouriting! :D

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Review #23, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A nickname

16th November 2011:
I didn't think this chapter was boring, it's sort of like real life, not much happens on lazy snow days. Your back story for why he calls her Broc was very interesting and yes the chapter was fluffy but after the first chapter I think I personally needed that. Is she actually allergic? I kept thinking if she eats it maybe she'll turn green (you know strange things happen to wizards). Oh! But i adored the last line:

Hope. That perhaps she wasn't worthless after all.

Oh Eloise! You aren't hopeless! Never! What a terrible thought. On the contrary you are one of a kind.

By the way I am amazed that you are writing an entire story based around this vegetable. I could never!

Author's Response: Thank youu! :)

She's not actually allergic, she just wants to believe she is, to get out of eating broccoli at home. :P Oh Eloise, she has a wild imagination.

I'm actually pretty amazed at myself as well. I never thought I could, either! But I've always had this annoying habit of turning a one-shot into a novel :P

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Review #24, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A name

16th November 2011:
I kept debating about leaving a review, I have been searching for a story for the past hour to leave a review to. It might sound ridiculous but this is my 300th review and I wanted to leave this particular review with a chapter, a story or a one-shot, that meant something. That moved me and I was a honestly unsure how broccoli would be able to do that. I, am in the same challenge and I thought that some of the foods would never be able to be used in a story, never would I have imagined anything close to this.

It was, to be honest, beautiful. It was short and there was no dialogue as you point out but as I was reading this I was able to connect to the story in a way that I don't always do. Sure, I have cried reading a few chapters on HPFF, I have been moved to tears, I have laughed happily when reading fluff.

But this was different because I felt like I was reading traits about me, about other people that I have known, about what it's like to be different and rejected and feel so low about yourself that you pray to whoever or you wish to whatever to make you beautiful, different or similar just like everyone else.

Your writing is wonderful and I cannot wait to read chapter two. Thank you for being my 300th review.



THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm so honoured that you though my fic worthy of leaving your 300th review! :D This wonderful review just made my week!

THANKS, THANKS! I'm sincerely glad you were able to connect with the main character, as that was my intention.

Have a wonderful day, lovely! :)

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Review #25, by Cassius Alcinder A name

16th November 2011:
Review tag!

Well done! This was a very insightful look into a very minor character that we know so little about. Its easy to laugh at a quote like Ron's without realy thinking about the implications, but you did a really good job of showing what is would be like from that character's perspective and difficult it would have to deal with everything.

The narration flowed very well, and it was pretty depressing to think about the ridicule that Eloise goes through at school. Definetely an interesting story, and good use of the broccoli analogy as well.

Author's Response: Thank you! :) I never even laughed when Ron made that cruel comment, because I know what it feels like to be made fun of. (Don't we all at some point in our lives?). I'm glad you found it insightful. Honestly? When I first wrote this on paper, I never had any intention of publishing it. I wrote this for myself; I think /that's/ why it came out so deep and heartfelt. :)

Thank you so much for taking your time to leave such a nice review. :)

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