10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by eternalangel Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

18th July 2012:
I love stories set in this time era especially about Tom Riddle. I loved your version of events and how you characterized main characters like Tom Riddle. He was sufficiently creepy and manipulative in this story and I loved it. I also loved that you included Mulciber and Dorcas Meadowes in this since we know that Voldemort personally killed Dorcas. It gives me an idea why he may have done it. I haven't read your other series that this is a prequel to, but I was still able to follow along with this story despite not having read the other series.

Excellent job with the characterization and plot line.

eternalangel

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yes, this story doesn't have too much to do with my AU series except placing Dorcas Meadowes in the same Hogwarts years as Riddle, McGonagall and Hagrid. It also helps to set up her character as an Auror Inspector in later life. I'm really glad you liked it, I love this time period too and I'm tempted to go back to it sometime!

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Review #2, by Indigo Seas Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

5th July 2012:
It's random review time, with Rin!

Augh, dear, this was lovely. I mean, really lovely. In leaving all these random reviews, I realized I say that word a lot: "lovely." I'm sorry if it seems excessive, but I really do find it marvelous.

I think the thing that struck me the most (and this may seem a little odd) is your dialogue. It flows really well, and I think it reads really naturally. Dialogue really kills me, and I generally find it very hard to write. So, of course, that makes me even more impressed that you've managed to create dialogue that reads really fluidly.

I love your flow, too. I think it transitions from paragraph to paragraph really well, which is lovely (lovely! Again!).

BAH. You're last line. Last lines kill me. They really do. I love it. I love that it's just... I dunno. There's something about it that I find really appealing. It was a great way to end.

Lovely (lovely!) story, dear. I could read your writing all day.

xx Rin

Author's Response: Thank you, Rin! I'm glad you happened to fall into this story however you found it :) I did work hard on the flow and the dialogue so I am particularly grateful for your kind words. I have a special place in my heart for this story and I'm glad you liked it. Hugs!

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Review #3, by magicmuggle01 Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

28th March 2012:
I loved this story.
Dorcas had a very narrow escape at the end. I thought Riddle was going to kill her by using the Basilisk.
I like your style of writing. Your detail is great and your flow is brilliant.
I think I'll add this as a favourite story and give you a 10/10.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Dorcas was quite lucky she put Minerva on guard duty -- she might not have made it out otherwise!

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Review #4, by Miss Muggle Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

27th February 2012:
McGonagall and Voldemort CANOODLING?!?! That is a disturbing image. Very interesting. Tom acted charming and even McGonagall could be taken in. I like his character in this. He seems believable; you did a great job of showing how he had charmed (not necessarily magical charm) everyone, including McGonagall. It is hard to know how she would be as a teenager, but I did think she seemed a bit clingy and oblivious.
I love that this story is about Dorcas Meadowes; there are hardly any about her out there. I love her character in this. It was very cool that she figured out the Chamber of Secrets secret and Tom's reaction to that was great. I wonder what he was going to say...'silence' her forever or something?
You have a very nice writing style. Your detail is magnificent and everything just pulls me in. I really enjoyed reading this!

Author's Response: Thank you for your thoughtful review! I'm so glad you liked it. I wanted to leave it up in the air whether Riddle were using any kind of love charm on her (taking after his poor mother) or whether it was purely teenage hormones at fault. Young love can pin itself on completely inappropriate targets! ;) I also think that Dorcas was a little jealous of McGonagall but she'd die to admit it. (perhaps a hint there would be useful, I may go back and add that)

It seems to me that in the mentions of Riddle's school days in the books / films, he was well liked and charmed everybody's socks off... Dumbledore knew better, but I'm not sure he ever told anyone why he did so.

I'm so glad you liked it, and if you enjoyed Dorcas's character, she is a main character in Unwritten as well :) Cheers!


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Review #5, by ginerva_molly_weasley Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

25th February 2012:
Ooooh this one shot is interesting.

It gives a whole different spin on the event after moaning myrtle was killed with Dorcas calling the prefects to a meeting about something she'd seen. You didn't really explain what she'd seen before though so I wasn't really sure where you were going with that.

I liked the fact that they went blind as it gave a whole different element to the story. I thought most of it was Tom's doing but maybe it was something put in place by the aurors!

I was scared for Dorcas's life a little in this because I wasn't sure what Tom was going to do to her when she found the snakes but luckily McGonagall is there.

I did like this one shot!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You're right, I think I should clear up what Dorcas saw in the bathroom before the story began, and exactly why she thought she needed Tom's help so badly. I did want to leave it open-ended as to how much was Tom Riddle's trickery and how many things were actually set up as safeguards by the Aurors -- Dorcas was out of her depth for sure. Thank you for your helpful review!

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Review #6, by Aderyn Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

20th February 2012:
I really enjoyed this story. For one thing, I'm fond of this particular era, but also this wad well written! I really found Dorcas to fit the description of pride- not just in terms of the watch but also her superiority.

Tom, I thought was maybe too kind. Wasn't he supposed to be haughty? But still his interactions with Minerva were sweet.

I liked how subtle his revenge was at the end. I was afraid he would harm Dorcas, but stealing the watch seems almost crueller.

Good job, overall. I think Dorcas is a realistic head girl for the time and has flaws that make her more human. This wad fun to read!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! Maybe I did let Tom be a little too nice in this story, but I was trying to depict how he had the entire school wrapped around his little finger despite his shady dealings.

I had a lot of fun creating Dorcas's character; as a canon character without much more than a name and an Order affiliation, I've had a lot of leeway.

(Who knows what would've happened if Minerva had not come in right when she did? . I suppose this could not have been called a prequel to Unwritten!) Thanks again!


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Review #7, by Violet Gryfindor Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

17th August 2011:
Wow, this was fantastic! The action scene was perfectly done - very fast-paced and suspenseful, and it was interesting to watch Dorcas navigate through a situation that us readers already know and understand. I think that you could make this into a much longer piece, if you wanted, as your characters are already well-developed and I'm curious how Dorcas will deal with the consequences of her detective work. It does, however, function well as a one-shot, giving us a snapshot of how people reacted to Myrtle's death and the atmosphere of Hogwarts during that time.

I love how you've done your own thing with this period - so many (including myself) usually make McGonagall the heroine, suspicious of Tom Riddle or otherwise a strong-willed Hermione-like figure, but you've changed that and made it entirely plausible. It's so hard to guess at what she'd be like as a teenager, so anyone who says that your McGonagall is OOC wouldn't be able to justify such an accusation - I actually imagined that she was under some sort of spell, whether it be that of teenage love or Tom's powers of Legilimency (she being useful to him in some way or another). I'm very intrigued by the possibilities your portrayal of McGonagall opens up, and I also have to admit (although I'm a big fan of McGonagall in general) that it was refreshing to read a 1940's Hogwarts story where she isn't the main female character. Your Dorcas is amazing!

There is so much I could say about this story in its favour. The writing is phenomenal, the perfect balance of description, action, and dialogue, and the additions of lines like "some poorly rhymed poetry scratched on the wall, speculating on Professor Dumbledore's romantic preference" effectively set off the dark, dangerous aspects of the situation. I liked Dorcas's dry humour very much.

Excellent work with this story! I really enjoyed reading it and am glad that I favourited it. Your work deserves so much more attention for its high quality and unique approaches to canon.

Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'm doubly glad one of my favorite writers enjoyed this (and the idea of scurrilous poetry about Dumbledore made me giggle too) :)

I added to the first version and cleared up Minerva's character somewhat, so the prior comments that Minerva was a bit off were actually quite helpful in showing where I needed to elaborate a bit. (the entire third paragraph is new) Dorcas's perspective makes it a little fuzzy whether Minerva is really being controlled by Riddle or letting her own infatuation do the work -- first love is stronger than magic in many ways -- but I'll leave that up to the reader to decide.

Thanks for your detailed and kind review, I'm glad you had fun with it. I particularly enjoyed giving the "behind the scenes" look at the students' reaction to the Chamber of Secrets; I imagined there would be mass panic. (especially since Dippet really didn't seem like the best Headmaster or the brightest crayon in the box; I imagine he was under Riddle's influence as well!)


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Review #8, by DarkLadyofSlytherin Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

8th August 2011:
Mary,

I read this during the judging and thought I'd pop in with my own comments on it.

I absolutely love this one-shot. While I do believe Minerva isn't nearly herself, love can do funny, fickle things to the mind. Including making one a love struck simpleton. I'd rather not picture Minerva that way, I think it was a creative and original way to portray her.

I really thought for a moment that Tom was simply going to kill her and feed her to the basilisk rather than them destroy the bathroom in the futile attempts at killing a mysterious animal that, in my opinion, was nothing more than smoke and mirrors. Tom was definitely in complete control of that situation. And it was a handy way of destroying any evidence that he may have inadvertantly left behind.

I really enjoyed this one-shot and I really need to read Unwritten, because I think, given that I really liked this, I will enjoy your novel just as much.

Thanks for participating!
Len

Author's Response: Thanks Len! Mwa ha ha, we'll get you to read Unwritten yet. I really enjoyed showing the beginnings of Dorcas's life as an Auror detective, her eventual career. :)

I added a few lines to clarify what's going on with Minerva's character. Riddle does always have that weakness of playing with his prey and giving it the chance to escape... you're on target with your assessment of the "reticulated fantail" by the way! Thanks for reviewing :)


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Review #9, by saffron sky Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

8th August 2011:
Hey! I love it. It's got me hooked right from the plot summary. It's a bit amusing to see McGonagall act like this teenager who's crushing. Amusing and surprisingly endearing! I can't wait to read more, so please post up the next chapter ASAP. :) :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! :) I added a couple of lines here and there to clarify Minerva's situation. Hope it helped. I am glad you liked the story -- this was planned as a one-shot but it's a prequel to my AU, Unwritten, so you might enjoy that! Thanks for reading!

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Review #10, by meh Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride

8th August 2011:
This was great. I think McGonagall was a little ooc as she's so confident and self-assured, but Tom was fabulous. I always do picture him as detached in their relationship. It gives me a little thrill of delight when I find another shipper after my own heart! I also liked how Tom kept a "trophy" from the escapade. Well done.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for your review! I agree that McGonagall could perhaps use a little work in this piece -- I was trying to show how he had her under his influence, and I could definitely add some more clues to the quality of their relationship. I appreciate your review (and I literally just posted this too :) ) Hope you enjoy my other stories. Cheers!

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