Aw! Everytime I see stories like these, I start crying. This one was no exception:D. The writing was poetic but, James and Lily don't get together till their seventh year, but it's alright, it's still awesome like this. I love your one-shots! Keep up the awesome work Author's Response: heyyy, sorry about that mistake! a little embarrassing :P Anyways Thank you so much! i love reviews soO much and they inspire me, soo THANKS! Report Review
I've always been a Snape fan. He rocks! Love him! Anyway, my love for Snape isn't really the point... I always felt bad for Snape and I think this covers his emotions well. James sort of got on my nerves cuz he always bullies Snape... and then he broke Snape and Lily up (Friend wise)... So, yeah. I think this really got the whole heart break thing down... Hope to see more from you soon. :)Author's Response: heyy, sorry i took a while to answer, i do all my work on an ipad and for some reason i cant respond to reviews on it so i have to wait for a desktop to do it. anwayss thanks! i'm really glad you like it :) Report Review
Alright, there were a few mistakes, I hate to be nit picky. But there are some things you have to change in your next chapter. Hit the enter bar between each characters speech. Like you would a regular paragraph.
Other than that, it's a pretty good story, just try an editor... paper rater. com is amazing(no spaces). Other than that, write on, I'll be interested in the next chapter (:Author's Response: thanks for the tips :) but um this is a one shot so there won't be any more chapters (sorry) but i am posting a longer story some time over the next couple of weeks so i'd appreciate any feedback, thanks :) Report Review
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