Hello again. So this chapter is also very good. I love Lauren, one of the OCs, she is very interesting. I love the original character as they are something the author has created on it's own. Lauren seems great, but you haven't really showed that much of her yet. I'm assuming you will do that in the later chapters. This is good, though. Again, some few mistakes. You forgot to write "I" the correct way again, and you forgot ' Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, both complimentary and helpful! :) Thanks again, Ladybella Report Review
Hey there. You wrote in my review thread a while back, and I'm here to review. Sorry it took so long, but something came up. Anyway, I love how you just start in the middle of the action. It just made me so excited. You had some great descriptions and a very good first chapter. It was just amazing. Sirius is my favorite marauder so I'm usually very critical towards him. It's kind of hard to be that now, since you really didn't see too much of him. He was there, but he didn't say to much. I still think you got him right. This is a lot like I imagine him to be. Great job there :D You had a few mistakes. "Carefully as I could I began to go through the bundle of clothes that had made a less than neat pile at the bottom of the bed and quietly began to buton last nights jeans and shirt ensemble just as I began doing up the last button Sirius sighed heavily and I turned in horror to face me" Author's Response: Thanks so much for the tasty lengthy review! Im glad you liked Sirius and how the action begins! And thanks for the advice, much appreciated! :) Thanks again, Ladybella Report Review
Oooh, I like! Normally I review novels/novellas only once there are a couple more chapters up, but I really like this prologue. I despise Sirius/OC stories but the voice of your OC just appeals to me. I like her, therefore I like this story. Couldnt find any major mistakes, all just flows nicely and really fits the mood I get when reading it. Also, James is brilliant. "Going so soon?" That really cracked me up. Can't wait for the next chapter. Favorite, yeah. Love, Danielle [review extravaganza forum name: xdaanana house: slytherin]Author's Response: Thanks alot for the review! Sorry it has taken so long to respond! Im glad you like my oc! She's a pretty complicated character who turns out to have a good bit of interesting backstory in later chapters so stay tuned ;) And you gotta love James Potter dont you? Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate it! :) Your inspiring! Ladybella Report Review
Oh! I am so favoriting this story (I just need to log in again), it was quite suspenseful and very funny my favorite bit was the part where she wakes and she's worried about her and Sirius's friendship and this qoute. The flashbacks were making it very hard to deside whether it was worth it or not.Author's Response: hey! Thanks so much for the review! And for the read! Im so glad you enjoyed it! Chapter 2 is in the queue and should be up soon! Im so pleased you thought it was funny! Thats made my day! Thanks so much! :) Ladybella Report Review
This is an awesome first chapter to the story! Can't wait for the next chapterAuthor's Response: Aww thats so much! Really glad you enjoyed it! Chapter two should be up next week all being well! Thanks so much for the lovely review! You are inspiring! Ladybella. Report Review
Haha! My, I really loved this first chapter! The ending especially! Just loved the shirtless James Potter and the "Going so soon" line! And the end word was great as well :P Just really summed up the girl's feelings really well! I loved how the girl/Mac woke up and slowly realised what was happening. I always think stories like this are quite interesting because it instantly makes me want to know how she got into that situation. Actually, I love how she's a hufflepuff! Sirius dating a puff? That's cool! Nice writing! - maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)Author's Response: Yey! First review for the story! You have made my day! Especially as you seem to have enjoyed it! You gotta love James Potter? Especially when he is shirtless! And im glad you like that Mac Shane is in Hufflepuff! I was apprehensive about that because people usually only read about the other houses so its great you like that! Thanks so much for the wonderful review! You are inspiring! Ladybella :) Report Review
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