Reading Reviews for The Ibis Winked
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StEpH_M The Ibis Winked

29th October 2012:
The Weasleys! How I love them and I love that you made a one-shot of what happened in the summer break between second and third year. He just as always, Ron is bored. I wonder if he will ever really put effort into learning. :) I really like this, it just reminds me so much of the Weasley family I have missed from JK Rowlings series. Ron's mum yelling at him, percy being fascinated by the history and Bill just well being Bill.

I like how even at the age of thirteen he thinks about Hermione when he is way, how she would like Egypt. It's sort of cute that even then she was on his mind then more then a friend. But he didn't realise it yet.

It was also nice the whole God thing, rather amusing that the statue winked and gave him a message that I am guessing is for the Deathly Hallows after he leaves them. But I could be wrong. That's just the feeling I got.

It's sort of sad that he doesn't believe that he can bring anything to the trio even then but I guess he is just slightly too thickheaded to really take in what he means to Harry and Hermione.

Again, I didn't see anything overly detrimental to the story. It was all really well written and drew me in.

Great job. I really enjoyed reading this.

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Review #2, by CherryBoom The Ibis Winked

9th October 2012:
Oh, this was a really fun fic.

There wasn't any significant mistakes, that I could see about Egyptian tombs, so you're in the clear with those. And I have waddled through quite many of them. =)

It was fun to see Hogwarts era Ron and how he unconsciously thought about Hermione when saw the statue's parchment rolls and quill. Ron felt very canon like and I was quite amused how Molly was only one besides Bill who was really thrilled about the tomb.

Your writing was very easy to read and flow was excellent. It would have been cool to see bit more interaction between the other Weasleys, but as this is one-shot, I understand your decision to focus on Ron.

And by the way, thank you for all your work in the House Cup! =)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and sorry about the lateness in responding!

It's good to know you didn't spot any huge errors regarding Egyptian tombs.

Ron was so difficult to write, actually. I tend to prefer minor/obscure characters, and writing about major ones like Ron gives me a sense of almost stage fright. There's a lot of pressure in trying to get them right. I'm glad you think that Ron seemed canon.

I think more interactions between the other Weasleys could have made this a stronger story as well. It is rather short and was written in a rushed manner. : I tend to be unambitious about editing, but if I ever tackle this story, I will definitely take your remark into consideration.


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Review #3, by charlottetrips The Ibis Winked

1st May 2012:
Oh! I wish I knew what all that foretelling was all about! Im lost. If I was near the internet right now (as Im reading your thing off line) I would go look through your reviews and review responses to find the answer so feel free to not respond to my frustration.

Ron was so Ron in this one, being bored with seeing the same thing over and over. How his thoughts kept drifting back to his friends was sweet. Even now, at so young an age, he holds Hermione so high up on a pedestal :)

I do have to say that I dont think Bill would be boring though! :P

xChar

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the reviews!

The foretelling isn't anything that grand. It's just a hint for the future, that Ron is going to be around when Harry is facing some difficult things. It's sort of a reminder or hint to Ron that he's not as unimportant as he thinks sometimes.

I worry about portraying important canon characters, because JKR is the ultimate authority on that, obviously. However, I've gotten some good feedback on Ron, which is neat.

Haha, Bill probably wouldn't be all that boring! I just think a 13-year-old boy would get a bit tired of the tours and the history lessons, especially if his mother is nagging him to pay attention. Besides, I needed an excuse for Ron to sort of mentally drift off. :P


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Review #4, by Elenia The Ibis Winked

10th March 2012:
Ooh, this was a very adorable one-shot! I really, really liked it!

I think you did an awesome job on Ron's character. I always love to read stories about him, because I'm terrified of writing about him myself. I could never do him justice, but you managed to portray him really well. I really enjoyed reading this.

I liked the idea of this a lot. And all your descriptions are just amazing, especially this line: "The stone statue's eyelids blinked in that odd way of birds, and met his eyes with a piercing glance." That was perfect, my favourite one!

Great job!

SHPFFO (:

Author's Response: Gah, I'm so worried about writing major canon characters too, but here it was a little easier because the story is so short that I could focus on one little aspect of Ron (his insecurity).

I've had at least one other remark on that particular description. If I remember correctly, I originally tried to write out exactly how the eyelids were moving, but it sounded clunky and ridiculous. I put in that sentence about odd blinking just to sort of hold the place and remind me of what I meant to describe, so that I could edit it in later. Then when I went back to it, I decided I liked the description.

Thank you so much for the surprise review! It was so nice to get them. :)


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Review #5, by Manga_girl The Ibis Winked

10th March 2012:
Hi!

I have to start of by saying I absolutely love your writing as you are so amazing! I'm so jealous!

I don't read much about Ron but I really loved this! Especially the description, you write it so beautifully and brilliantly! This is such an interesting concept and I just loved this so much! It is so mysterious and intriguing all the way through!

Emma xx

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. It's actually one of my least favorite stories, as I spent not much time on it. When I look at it, I can't help but see all the things I wish I had conveyed in it but didn't quite manage to make work. Thanks for your comments on description--I do put effort into it, although I at times worry I go overboard.

Ron was an interesting character to be assigned for this challenge. I couldn't work with him well to make him the "embodiment" of Thoth, so I had to take another approach. It turned out perfecly, since the Weasleys really did visit Egypt.

Anyway, thank you very much for the review! It was an unexpected but wonderful surprise. :)


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Review #6, by Oh_Sugar_Quills The Ibis Winked

13th August 2011:
That was very good! I think the way you wrote Ron was just perfect. From the beginning, with him finding it boring, to the way he thinks about himself and Hermione, it just seems so much like the Ron that we see in the books. Same thing with Molly and Percy being the ones to find it all so interesting.

The entire story is very well written, and I really enjoyed reading it. Great job!

Oh_Sugar_Quills
(Hufflepuff)

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

I found it easy to slip into Ron's character. I thought I might struggle, since he's a major canon character, but I felt comfortable with him. I am glad my characters seemed realistic to their book counterparts, as that was my goal.


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Review #7, by Pixileanin The Ibis Winked

12th August 2011:
"The stone statues eyelids blinked in that odd way of birds, and met his eyes with a piercing glance. "

That was my favorite line! So descriptive, the "odd way of birds" was great, because I can see those birds when they blink and it's odd and if I tried to describe it other than "how birds blink" I think I might have come up short and not been able to to it justice.

I also like the "sort of rush of color and sounds and smells and thoughts in his mind", which made me feel like Ron didn't really know much about all that stuff in his head, but it was there anyway. Again, if you went to describe it in more detail, it would ruin the effect.

I also loved the simplicity of the title. Small things that get a whole lot of mileage. Wow. Sometimes less is more after all. I really enjoyed reading this! Well done.

pixileanin (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Hey Pix! Thanks for reviewing! :D

I like the line about birds blinking too. I actually tried to describe how the eyelids move and stuff, but that was too complicated and detailed and I gave up on it after about five seconds. I put the odd blinking bit in there more as a placeholder, intending to edit later, but then I decided I liked it and only tweaked the sentence structure slightly so it sounded better. Either people will know what I'm talking about or they won't, but at least they won't have to do mental gymnastics trying to decipher my description of a moving eyelid.

With the rush of images in Ron's mind, I had a couple things going on. One, I wanted to emphasize that Thoth isn't human . . . we poor frail humans just don't process information as quickly as he can. Also, I wanted to avoid making this sound like some long, drawn-out prediction scene. Ron doesn't know the future in canon, so I wanted the hints to be there without him comprehending them.


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Review #8, by Debra20 The Ibis Winked

12th August 2011:
Happy Staff/Prefect Day!!

This was such a sweet little story. It was so easy to imagine Ron being bored to death in the Egyptian tombs. The funniest part must have been when he compares his journey with Professor Binns' classes :laugh:

I also enjoyed the idea of a talking statue. I felt as if Ron had a prophecy of his own. Knowing what we know will happen from this point on with the Trio reinforces my thought. Ron self-doubting is also spot on. You could just see him arguing with the statue that Hermione is the one he should talk to about knowledge and magic abilities haha.

All in all, a very enjoyable one shot with an enchanting theme, excellent character handling, easy flow and great fun :D


House Cup 2011, End of an Era Review Extravaganza
Forum name: Debra20
House: Gryffindor

Author's Response: Ah, yes, I got a slight chuckle myself as I threw in that bit about Binns' classes. I like putting in small things like that to anchor my stories in the HP Universe, especially when they amuse me (I like humorous things).

Yes, in this story, Ron has a different sort of prophecy of his own. It's not the same sort that Harry has . . . I see it more as a type of guidance for him (and through him, for the overall balance of good and evil and all those grand themes which are beyond the scope of this story).

Anyway, thank you very much for the review and the lovely remarks. :)


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Review #9, by Drecklin The Ibis Winked

12th August 2011:
Hello Alo! So this story was really short and sweet. I wasn't quite sure of what to make of it at first, wondering if it was going to be funny or very serious and I really like how to made it something in between. I felt that your characterization of Ron was just spot on, especially the parts about keeping himself from thinking :P Very much a Ron thing to do in my opinion. But I have to tell you that my favorite part was definitely the part with Thoth- having him just tell Ron he will be important. I've always felt that Ron got less credit than he deserved as part of the trio, and the fact that we all pretty much knows what happens and how he IS needed, and that this echoes it, definitely made me all happy on the inside :P

Also, I really have to applaud you on your creativity with the challenge. I would never have been able to weave a mythological being into this particular part of the series, where it could have easily happened! Many props for that :)

Overall, this was a really nice piece of writing- which by the way, I love your writing. You choose great words and it flows really well, making this all the more enjoyable to read! Anyways, loved it Alo :)

Forum Name: Drecklin
House: Slytherin

Author's Response: I recently read this book where a character tried to keep from thinking, and so I based that scene with Ron on that to some extent. It seemed to fit with Ron, making an effort not to think and then realizing he was thinking about not thinking . . . and there is an inhuman statue amused at his expense. :P

Ron is more important than he thought, and I liked hinting at that here. As for working in Thoth, I felt lucky to draw a Weasley along with an Egyptian god, because of the vacation. Things fell into place, though not exactly as I had imagined at first.

Thanks so much for remarking on my word choice and flow! Those are two things I notice when reading and try to pay attention to when writing. I like to "feel" the story flowing out of me.


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Review #10, by NaidatheRavenclaw The Ibis Winked

12th August 2011:
This was excellent!

I think your characterization of Ron was absolutely perfect. At this age, he would definitely be bored at the start, and his fear and disbelief are all so perfect. I've honestly never read a story about him at age 12, but the characterization of him is so flawless, nothing can even come close :P

I think the idea of this is brilliant. In fact, I'm surprised that no one's ever really written about the Weasleys in Egypt. At least, not that I've seen. And the appearance of Thoth was lovely. He is more closely linked to Hermione, but you really made a strong connection between him and Ron, in just a great way.

Happy staff/prefect Friday and thank you for everything you do for the site! *hugs* AND GO RAVENCLAW!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: I'm really flattered that I'm getting such feedback on my portrayal of Ron. Writing him came more easily than I thought, and I thought I did a decent job, but it's always gratifying when others agree with you. At this point, he's actually 13, but that's not so very different from being 12. ;)

I haven't seen stories about the Weasleys in Egypt, but I imagine they must exist somewhere. Most of the time people don't seem to write about the characters when they're younger, though, which could be one reason.

I do think Thoth is more obviously linked to Hermione. However, when I was given Ron as a character, I thought because of his connection to Hermione, I could probably pull the story off . . . like Thoth is really important in Hermione's life and therefore in Ron's, and he finds out in Egypt when he goes there with his family but has memory loss or something. It didn't turn out quite that way. It just came more easily to have Thoth have a link with Ron after all.

Thank you for the review! :)


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Review #11, by MyMyMiss The Ibis Winked

12th August 2011:
Excuse me? Did I say you could write an awesome One-Shot like this? well; Permission Granted!! ^.^

This was really quite an amazing story. :) I really had a small giggle at this part thought..

-I doubt it! Shes a brilliant witch! And what do you know about magic anyway?- I though it was really cute that he held Hermione's knowledge in High reguards ^.^ and this part here ..

-No one knows everything, the voice said gently- I was like, Hermione got showed up, nur nur :P

Anyway, I thought you really took a spin on something Different here!! It was really quite a joy too read.

You use your words really well too, you don't over use or under use the same words to many times and I noticed you look for alternitive words :) Which I think is just brilliant!! :)

I thought personally you had Ron, for a 13 year old boy, hit on the head with a nail!! ;) -Or vis versa, cause i'm odd like that :) - He was very much like his canon character for PoA from the Book and Movie ^.^

*Audience Applaudes* Well done !! *Inserts awkward virtual hug here*

Forum Name: MyMyMiss
House: Slytherin.

Author's Response: Haha, the beginning of your review made me laugh! Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I barely edited it (I'm usually more obsessive than is healthy), but I think the story's skeleton is sound, even if there are still some rough edges.

I'm pleased you commented on my word choice! I like to use different descriptive words, but I also don't want to sound like I'm regurgitating a thesaurus.

I'm also glad that people seem to think I did a good job portraying Ron as a thirteen-year-old. It came more easily to me than I expected, and it just fel right as I was writing.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #12, by melian The Ibis Winked

8th August 2011:
Alo! I thought you said you weren't a writer!! I really enjoyed this little piece, I'll have you know. :) At first I thought (for some reason) that this was set when all the Weasleys were grown up, but the mention of Scabbers jolted me back to reality. How could I have forgotten about that trip to Egypt before third year?

Anyway, I loved the details in this. How Percy and Molly were the only ones who found it interesting due to Bill's clearly not-very-effective way of imparting information. How that made him think of Hermione and reminded him to send them postcards. How all the statues seemed to look the same after a while - which reminded me of a trek across Europe. "Another bloody cathedral," was how it felt after a while. Well, this is "another bloody statue". Loved it.

I must say that my knowledge of Egyptian mythology isn't much better than yours but I found no flaws. It was a nice conversation between Ron and Thoth, including Ron's surprise that he might be able to be of any use with his knowledge whatsoever. But, as we all know, the statue was right. :)

Great job!!!

melian (gryffindor)

Author's Response: I'm not really a writer, at least not compared to a lot of people on this site. This was my first update in a year and a half, and I prefer reading to writing. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece, though!

I think the Egypt vacation is mainly overlooked, in part because we only hear about it sort of in passing, since Harry wasn't there. It is how Sirius discovered Wormtail, though.

I can really imagine Ron being bored and sullen on this trip. I just have this feeling he wouldn't appreciate the history much at that age (or maybe at any age). I doubt Molly would allow Bill to show them anything really dangerous (Bill's employer probably wouldn't allow it either), so I suppose Ron and the twins in particular would be a bit disappoitned by that.

Anyway, again, thanks for reviewing, mel! :)


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Review #13, by momotwins The Ibis Winked

7th August 2011:
Hey homie! I have been terribly remiss in reading and reviewing your stories. I love the subject you chose for this one: I think I've only ever seen one other story that showed the Weasleys' Egyptian vacation. I love the way you wrote it, too, it gave a nice flavor of Egypt to the story without sounding like a travelogue, if that makes sense. I love Ron's character here, thinking how having a curse-breaker brother ought to mean he'd see cooler stuff XD He's so cute, and he really sounds like a 13 year old here - good job on the characterization. I like how he thinks first of Hermione, too, then adds Harry in; but you know Ron/Hermione is one of my favorite ships, so I'm always happy to see hints of it in young Ron.

The depiction of Thoth was very interesting and mysterious - and poor Ron saying it can't mean him because Hermione's so much smarter. But it's true, Ron does know more about magic than Hermione, just from having grown up as a wizard. It's a part of his life in different ways than for Muggle-born Hermione and Harry.

Very nice story! I liked it. I kind of wish it had been longer. But, I love Egypt, so I always want stories set there to keep going. It's a good length, really. :)

WTM - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: I was so tickled to see a couple of reviews from you! I know you've read at least one other (an AVPM-inspired piece).

I don't remember ever seeing an Egyptian vacation story, but I'm sure they are out there. I chose an Egyptian god (instead of Greek), but when I also was given Ron as a character, I knew it was a perfect fit.

I think curses and such would appeal to 13-year-old boys, whereas ancient artifacts and history lessons would be less enticing. I'm glad you thought I did well with Ron.

This story actually ended so quickly because I didn't know what else to write. Maybe someday I'll edit it and make it a little longer.


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Review #14, by Singularity The Ibis Winked

6th August 2011:
Hi there :) I thought you did a really nice job with this. I loved your characterization of Ron, and the little canon details (more boring that a History of Magic lecture, Scabbers on his shoulder, etc.) were a really great addition. I especially loved that he kept thinking of Hermione. It seems like people often forget that, before they were a couple, Ron and Hermione were best friends to each other too, not just to Harry. It definitely seems like a situation where Ron would be thinking of her.

I loved what the statue had to say to Ron. Ron is such an insecure character and it seems like he spends half the series trying to prove that he's good enough. It's very in character for him to instantly discount his own knowledge and ability.

The only thing that was a little off for me was Ron's line toward the end "What do you know about magic, anyway?" Um, Ron? It's a talking statue that is practicing legillmency on you. I think it might know a little something about magic. But, meh, Ron can be quite thick sometimes, so it's probably fine :P

I've never thought much about Ron's trip to Egypt, so this was really unique and a good read. Well done :)

~Singularity
(Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked my characterization of Ron, as well as the inclusion of little canon details. I knew I had to have Scabbers, since he's in the photo published in the Prophet, which Sirius Black sees.

I also think people sometimes forget that Ron and Hermione were friends with each other, because the books were Harry-focused. Ron truly was the bridge between them, as we (and they) truly find out in DH.

When I read that line about magic again, I see what you mean. I meant something in my head, but I didn't convey it very clearly. Thoth was the god I was assigned to include in my story, and one of the things he is associated with is inventing magic. His response to Ron's question was alluding to that. Ron's question was meant to be from the standpoint of having heard these boring talks (probably from Percy :P ) during his vacation about the differences between ancient Egyptian magic and the magic he is learning at school (I can't imagine the ancient Egyptians used Latin-based spells, so there must have been differences), so he's defensive and wondering how an ancient statue could know about his kind of magic. I didn't convey that clearly, though.

Thank you for the review! :)


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Review #15, by alias093001 The Ibis Winked

6th August 2011:
For as much as I've never been all that fond of Ron, this was a very interesting read. From the beginning of the series, Ron has always felt as if he was insecure, almost as if he doesn't feel useful.

Thoth's advice to Ron seemed a little vague. It was given to him in a way that I don't think he would have understood what was going on. Compared to Hermione, or even Harry, Ron is not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

I also think that perhaps the advice was given a little too early. Ron had had not yet grown into the person he was meant to become and probably would have forgotten what Thoth told him.

alias093001, Slytherin.

Author's Response: This piece hasn't really been edited . . . I wrote it and submitted it on the same day because I was coming up on a challenge deadline. There are definitely weaknesses.

However, I intended to advice to be vague. I didn't want to write it such that Ron receives some grand lecture or pep talk or vision of the future. I wanted there to be a little bug planted in his ear . . . and although he has a lot of developing to do, hopefully he'll think of the advice/words/images as he develops.

As you said, it is early in his development for him to appreciate this advice, so something super-specific didn't feel appropriate. Thoth did give him the mind-image stuff, but it was too much for human, child Ron to take in.

Anyway, as I said, I know this story lacks polish, but I did actually leave the advice vague on purpose.


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Review #16, by wingsatmidnight The Ibis Winked

6th August 2011:
Like what Violet Gryffindor said, I haven't seen any stories here about the Weasleys in Egypt! Come to think of it, I'd almost forgotten that the Weasleys went to Egypt had I not watched the Prisoner Of Azkaban a few nights ago.

The way you wrote truly stayed true to Ron and to the other Weasleys and the way you wrote was great - I could practically imagine everyone as you described them, from Ron's yawn to Thoth's self-satisfied smile.

And the way you put Thoth in the story was good as well, you described him wonderfully and there was also that hint of suspense at the end of it :)

Thank you for participating in the challenge!

Author's Response: I can't recall ever seeing a story taking place during the Weasley family holiday to Egypt, although I'm sure they must exist.

I seem to be getting positive responses regarding my characterization of Ron, which makes me quite happy. Also, I'm glad you, as the challenge issuer, thought I hinted enough at Thoth! I didn't really want to get too heavy into mythology or anything, since I had written Ron to be bored with it all, but I wanted it to be obvious for those who look for it.


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Review #17, by Violet Gryfindor The Ibis Winked

6th August 2011:
It's fantastic to finally see a new story from you, and it certainly is a story worth waiting for. Your style is so clear and affective, with a strong atmosphere that made me feel as though I was right there as Ron, not just with him there in the tomb. How you do this in less than a thousand words amazes me.

No one writes about the Weasleys in Egypt! So thank you for doing so. I can imagine Ron being just like this, being bored out of his skull because he must have expected mummies and curses, not statues and dusty tombs. It was great that he kept thinking about Hermione and how much she would like all of the history - it really emphasized the last part of this story, how Ron believes that she's the one with all of the knowledge and all of the interest in it without thinking that he, too, knows a good many things. He was, after all, one of the first to help Harry navigate the wizarding world.

Your portrayal of Ron is top-notch, one of the best that I've seen in fanfiction. This story is too great for words - not only creative and perfectly canon, but also incredibly written. It's definitely going on my favourites list. ^_^

- Violet Gryfindor (Hufflepuff)

Author's Response: Such high praise! I admire your writing very much, so your remarks mean a lot to me. I'm actually a little embarassed you've read this story as lightly-edited as it is, but I'm really pleased you liked it.

I was lucky to be assigned Ron for this challenge. For one, I've always wanted to write something about him. For another, since the Weasleys did visit Egypt, it wasn't so hard to work in an Egyptian god.

I do imagine Ron would have been a bit bored in Egypt! (Well, obviously, since I wrote him that way.) I think boys that age like dramatic things: explosions, curses, potential danger. Historic sites may tend to disappoint.

Yes, Ron did help Harry first navigate the wizarding world, and he knows a great deal more about it that either Harry or Hermione! I think this is somewhat overlooked at times, and I'm glad you remarked on it.

Once again, thank you so much for the lovely review. Despite any weaknesses in this story, it is very flattering to have one's writing style praised.


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Review #18, by maskedmuggle The Ibis Winked

6th August 2011:
Ooh! I loved this! It's so intriguing, mysterious and different from a normal story! And of course, you're a terrific writer. This was a really well written story!

Ron's characterisation was really great. He kind of doubts himself, which is what you'd expect from him. I loved his thoughts as well - finding it all boring, (like you'd expect), so I found his portrayal very realistic.

The idea of a speaking statue is quite clever, and I liked the conversation it had with Ron, sort of being like a fortune teller but staying all mysterious, and making me curious too! Lovely story!

- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)

Author's Response: Thank you! :) Generally speaking, I do like to write things that are a little different, so it always makes me feel good when someone remarks on that.

I'm also pleased you thought I portrayed Ron well. I found myself more comfortable with him than I had expected, so I was really hoping others would find him realistic as well.

I had to work in Thoth somehow for the challenge, and I didn't think Ron was the best candidate for being a sort of embodiment of him, so I finally hit on the idea of a statue, in part because I thought it would amuse me to write about Ron reacting to it.


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Review #19, by Roots in Water The Ibis Winked

5th August 2011:
First of all, let me just say that you wrote Ron beautifully, as well as the rest of the Weasley family. This definitely could have been a scene taken directly from the book.

Furthermore, I think you led up to the statue's speech quite well, giving a few hints. The introduction of the scene, as well, was very well done.

The writing was so Ron as well ("He desperately tried to catch the thought and stuff it back into his head before it could escape, just in case it was offended" was funny to read).

I can't imagine what knowledge Ron has that they will need in the future (nothing's coming to mind) but it still sounds a lot like foreshadowing and exactly what a mysterious, ancient god would say: telling Ron something, but not really telling him anything at all.

The only thing I noted was that the ending doesn't quite seem like the ending. I think that even one more sentence would help to finish the story even more- it feels as though the story was cut off before the author could finish.

Other than that, it was very well written and quite an enjoyable read.

Roots in Water (Hufflepuff)

Author's Response: The knowledge I was trying to hint at was that Ron grew up in a wizarding family, whereas Hermione and Harry both grew up with Muggles. Therefore, Ron knows things or takes certain things for granted that the other two don't. Although it's not a major thing in the books, it does come up from time to time, and I think it does speak to Ron's worth in the friendship. I know I was rather clumsy with conveying it . . . partly because I was being clumsy writing and partly because at this point in his life, Ron still is very insecure and I don't think it would occur to him to realize that worth. I did want Thoth to just be hinting at it without being specific, but perhaps I could clear that up a little.

The ending doesn't seem like an ending to me either. To be honest, I was worried that I wouldn't meet the deadline for this challenge, so I just popped it into the queue once I got stuck and didn't know what else to write. Usually I'm a lot more obsessive about editing and polishing (even if no one else can tell!). This story is going to have to see some editing someday.

I'm glad you thought my portrayal of Ron was a strong point in the story. I am always nervous about approaching major characters, and I also didn't want to make him seem too old or too young. I didn't find myself struggling to relate to Ron, though; it felt comfortable to write him, so hopefully that did come across in my writing.

Thanks for the review! I wasn't expecting a review the day the story went up, but I suppose that's the advantage to posting during a reviewing competition. :)


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